Entries in the 'Education' Category

The Cause Of Drug Addiction

Laitman_154In the News (from The Huffington Post): “It is now one hundred years since drugs were first banned – and all through this long century of waging war on drugs, we have been told a story about addiction by our teachers and by our governments. This story is so deeply ingrained in our minds that we take it for granted. It seems obvious. It seems manifestly true.… But what I learned on the road is that almost everything we have been told about addiction is wrong — and there is a very different story waiting for us, if only we are ready to hear it.

“If we truly absorb this new story, we will have to change a lot more than the drug war. We will have to change ourselves….

“Experiment 1: “Put a rat in a cage, alone, with two water bottles. One is just water. The other is water laced with heroin or cocaine. Almost every time you run this experiment, the rat will become obsessed with the drugged water, and keep coming back for more and more, until it kills itself.

“Experiment 2: “Professor Alexander [a professor of Psychology in Vancouver called Bruce Alexander] built Rat Park. It is a lush cage where the rats would have colored balls and the best rat-food and tunnels to scamper down and plenty of friends: everything a rat about town could want. What, Alexander wanted to know, will happen then?

“In Rat Park, all the rats obviously tried both water bottles, because they didn’t know what was in them. But what happened next was startling.

“The rats with good lives didn’t like the drugged water. They mostly shunned it, consuming less than a quarter of the drugs the isolated rats used. None of them died. While all the rats who were alone and unhappy became heavy users, none of the rats who had a happy environment did. …

“At first, I thought this was merely a quirk of rats, until I discovered that there was — at the same time as the Rat Park experiment — a helpful human equivalent taking place. It was called the Vietnam War. Time magazine reported using heroin was ‘as common as chewing gum’ among U.S. soldiers, and there is solid evidence to back this up: some 20 percent of U.S. soldiers had become addicted to heroin there, according to a study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry. Many people were understandably terrified; they believed a huge number of addicts were about to head home when the war ended.

“But in fact some 95 percent of the addicted soldiers — according to the same study — simply stopped. Very few had rehab. They shifted from a terrifying cage back to a pleasant one, so didn’t want the drug any more. …

“Experiment 3: “After the first phase of Rat Park, Professor Alexander then took this test further. He reran the early experiments, where the rats were left alone, and became compulsive users of the drug. He let them use for fifty-seven days — if anything can hook you, it’s that. Then he took them out of isolation, and placed them in Rat Park. He wanted to know, if you fall into that state of addiction, is your brain hijacked, so you can’t recover? Do the drugs take you over? What happened is — again — striking. The rats seemed to have a few twitches of withdrawal, but they soon stopped their heavy use, and went back to having a normal life. The good cage saved them. …

“Here’s one example of an experiment that is happening all around you, and may well happen to you one day. If you get run over today and you break your hip, you will probably be given diamorphine, the medical name for heroin.  In the hospital around you, there will be plenty of people also given heroin for long periods, for pain relief. … So if the old theory of addiction is right — it’s the drugs that cause it; they make your body need them — then it’s obvious what should happen. Loads of people should leave the hospital and try to score smack on the streets to meet their habit.

But here’s the strange thing: It virtually never happens. As the Canadian doctor Gabor Mate was the first to explain to me, medical users just stop, despite months of use. The same drug, used for the same length of time, turns street-users into desperate addicts and leaves medical patients unaffected. …

“The street-addict is like the rats in the first cage, isolated, alone, with only one source of solace to turn to. The medical patient is like the rats in the second cage. She is going home to a life where she is surrounded by the people she loves. The drug is the same, but the environment is different. …

“So the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. It is human connection. … Ironically, the war on drugs actually increases all those larger drivers of addiction. For example, I went to a prison in Arizona — ‘Tent City’ — where inmates are detained in tiny stone isolation cages (‘The Hole’) for weeks and weeks on end to punish them for drug use. And when those prisoners get out, they will be unemployable because of their criminal record — guaranteeing they with be cut off even more. …

“There is an alternative. You can build a system that is designed to help drug addicts to reconnect with the world — and so leave behind their addictions.

“Portugal had one of the worst drug problems in Europe, with 1 percent of the population addicted to heroin. They had tried a drug war, and the problem just kept getting worse. So they decided to do something radically different. They resolved to decriminalize all drugs, and transfer all the money they used to spend on arresting and jailing drug addicts, and spend it instead on reconnecting them — to their own feelings, and to the wider society. The most crucial step is to get them secure housing, and subsidized jobs so they have a purpose in life, and something to get out of bed for. …

“This isn’t only relevant to the addicts I love. It is relevant to all of us, because it forces us to think differently about ourselves. Human beings are bonding animals. We need to connect and love. The wisest sentence of the twentieth century was E.M. Forster’s — ‘only connect.’ But we have created an environment and a culture that cut us off from connection, or offer only the parody of it offered by the Internet. The rise of addiction is a symptom of a deeper sickness in the way we live — constantly directing our gaze towards the next shiny object we should buy, rather than the human beings all around us. …

“The writer George Monbiot has called this ‘the age of loneliness…’ We need now to talk about social recovery — how we all recover, together, from the sickness of isolation that is sinking on us like a thick fog.”

My Comment: Restoring good mutual communication between people, in spite of our egoism, is an absolute panacea for all our ills. And then, through the attainment of unity, it leads us to the Upper World, to perfect eternal existence.
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45 Minutes For Mutual Guarantee

laitman_528_01Question: The specifics of my work involve my constantly interacting with lots of people. How can I avoid conflicts and enhance cooperation? After all, we are so different…

Answer: One has to display a special wisdom. There are closed societies where it is necessary for people to get alone with each other initially.

There are special exercises and very difficult techniques. For instance, people execute space mission for six months or leave for a lengthy submarine deployment.

Of course, at any place of work there are always people with whom we collaborate easily, we understand them and they understand us. How to establish the right relationship itself is what mankind is still trying to learn.

Question: What are the criteria for a successful cooperation? How should the similarity of people manifest itself?

Answer: They should be similar to each other. It happens everywhere ranging from common taste in food, music, sports, and ending with habits. I am talking about ordinary people and not those who deliberately overcome themselves in something.

Question: How can we inwardly enrich ourselves by using our distinctive features, different views?

Answer: There is only one solution that allows you to connect different, distant, divergent people where each one of them is the whole world in itself. This, however, does not mean digging inside each of them.

Every day they should discuss certain topics in their circles. For instance, it should be for an hour or at least 45 minutes. This way they can mutually engage each other.

Question: Suppose we are in a working group and together we need to produce something. Everyone has their own opinion, their quality, one sees the whole process differently and strives to win over the rest. How can this type of interconnection help us get to the fruit of our cooperative work and achieve the best result?

Answer: If this “Hitkalelut” (interconnection) will occur according to the principles of integral education, with members of the work group building a certain platform above each other (every one of them), called mutual guarantee, mutual permeation, in short, this is a correct unity.

Although each of them, in fact, comes from a different environment: the parental home, kindergarten, school, different culture and mentality; at this point they seem to rise above all the differences between them, as if they go towards a new “mother,” the general mother for all, which is called “Divinity.”

Of course, you need to start with the rules of the seminar. It is not necessary to interrupt each other, disagree, and argue. This form of communication is still poorly known to mankind, but it has to be learned.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/11/14

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Why Shouldn’t I Go To A Psychologist?

laitman_547_05Question: It is believed that depressed people are the greatest realists. Psychology examines optimists as people that live in a certain illusion. Why are we kidding ourselves?

Answer: It is because our essence is the desire to receive pleasure. Why see the truth and suffer? I would rather deceive myself and enjoy life.

Question: There is evidence that suggests that only 2% of the population sees reality as it is, without embellishing it. All of them are psychiatric patients. Why is reality such that I constantly have to defend myself, my desire to enjoy? Why do I always feel some kind of threat?

Answer: In fact, you are asking the question, “Why am I not an animal? Why am I a man?” Animals do not have issues. They need to know everything about their life, otherwise they have no chance to survive. We feel a threat and we have the ability to stay afloat only through the correct relationships between us.

And, unlike animals, we have been provided with a choice. Nowadays we have reached such a development where we are required to build a society that will fill us with something that is not given by nature. Then we will be able to completely fill our desire with joy, which is the essence of our nature because nothing else will fill us.

Question: Why shouldn’t I go to a psychologist?

Answer: If your psychologist knows what integral education is and can help you set the correct relationship with the surrounding reality, of course, go. Today, we really need to create a profession called an “integral psychologist.”

Question: Will this person, sitting across from me, help me to know myself?

Answer: The psychologist cannot work with you face to face. Integral education requires group work. Your psychologist is obligated to give you exercises for you to utilize within your environment, under the influence of which you will undergo changes, and thanks to him, you will learn how to properly interact with the world.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 11/7/14

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A Home Experiment In Changing Reality

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Does the solution that the wisdom of Kabbalah offers have a scientific basis or is it simply in feelings?

Answer: Certainly this solution is realized in a person in feelings, for we were created from the substance of the desire to receive. And so we feel everything through this desire and evaluate things only through that, both the good and the bad.

But it is absolutely a wisdom, it is science. The wisdom of Kabbalah precisely describes all of the systems in which we exist, our connections with each other, and the levels of ascent, meaning increasing and strengthening the connection between us according to 125 levels. The wisdom of Kabbalah uses scientific terminology, such as, five worlds, Partzufim, Aviut (level of desire), Masach (screen), and Ohr Hozer (Returning Light).

Through his correction, the Kabbalist corrects the whole world. As it is said in Proverbs 10:25: “…the righteous is an everlasting foundation.” Throughout all generations, the Kabbalists through their tried actions to “sweeten” our world. But now we have reached such a state in which not a Tzadik (a righteous person), but the whole of Israel, and after them the entire world, must reach conscious connection.

We must invite people to home workshops (home circles), for discussions around a “roundtable.” We are ready to simultaneously organize thousands of home roundtables like these in Israel, and attain positive results in this way.

We will immediately begin to feel very great changes in the Israeli society, and we will happily take part in meetings of this kind that will establish a good atmosphere throughout the nation. These meetings must be dedicated only to connection and unity between us and only for good attitudes. This will have a positive effect on health, familial relationships, and the well-being of each individual and all people in general.

This is an experiment at home that we can actively carry out and see good results.
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From KabTV’s “The Meeting of Worlds” 6/16/14

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Power Over Destiny

laitman_277Question: Astrology tends to predict our destiny. However, the important thing is to change our fate rather than to know what’s waiting for us in the future. Is it possible?

Answer: Do you mean influencing your luck and turning the stars to better work for your interests? Yes, it is possible because we are a part of an integral system in which everything is intertwined. So, by all means we can impact the stars.

A human being is the most powerful force in nature, capable of penetrating into any of its integral parts, “spreading” in all directions, learning, attaining, connecting things, and clarifying all rules. We are able to understand the basics of universal connections, become included in the liaisons, and eventually change them.

Only humans are capable of attaining this level, nobody else! At all times, people tried to change their destinies. They did it with the help of religion and mysticisms, astrology, and divination, and with the help of the wisdom of Kabbalah. We are free to choose what remedy to use to change our destiny. In fact, all three directions can impact our future.

Question: How can we influence our destiny with the help of astrology? Is it really possible “to rearrange” the stars so that they bring us luck?

Answer: Stars only signify the governance of the Upper Force over us. Stars by themselves cannot influence anything. Stars are the signs of the upper impact. Yes, we can change them, i.e., make the upper governance more beneficial for us. It is possible with the help of religion, mysticism, or the wisdom of Kabbalah – through these three sources.

Religious people pray, they join and pray together, they try to influence events and ask for help from above. By these actions, they change nature since they also are a part of nature. Humans are inseparable from the rest of the world.

We can influence the world around us since our bodies are part of nature. Humans are the most influential force in nature. This explains why when thousands of people get together and pray for something, their desire alters reality. It’s because they are an internal part of nature.

This is why all remedies are good when it comes to influencing upcoming events: religion, mysticism, and Kabbalah. The difference among them is the way they influence nature. Religion makes a strong impact since it is an organized force that has existed for many years, for many generations.

The problem is that it is extremely egoistic. Religious thinking is only about personal benefits or, in the very best case, the benefits of one’s nation without considering possible damages that can be made to other nations: One country prays about conquering another one.

Mysticism is less egoistic because while trying to connect with the stars that “provide” luck, each one of us must give up some portion of egoism. This mystical form requires one to become a little less materialistic and diminish one’s egoistic desires.

The wisdom of Kabbalah is the most altruistic methodology that requires loving one’s neighbor as oneself. In this form, it is possible to clearly, directly, and powerfully impact all of nature. If we “are armed” with a correct technology that allows us to beneficially influence the world and thus change its state to the better, we’ll attain similarity with the upper force. Then, our abilities become virtually unlimited.

With the help of the wisdom of Kabbalah, we develop the properties that are similar to the upper force, the general power of nature that governs the inanimate, vegetative, animate, and speaking levels. It is the only real power. It is called “the Creator.” We can connect with this force, understand its thought, and together with it, rule the entire system of nature, become its partner.

Question: What are the most effective remedies for changing our destiny?

Answer: The most effective remedy to modify our fate is to join the group that aspires to attain similarity with the upper force, i.e., achieve a state of loving our neighbors, to build the type of connection among friends that impacts our lives in the infinite future, both for each individual and the entire world.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 1/1/15

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Superfluous Apartments For The Ego

Laitman_115_05Ready For Flight

Question: Conflicts in Israeli society are becoming more severe because the ego of the politicians has grown and puts personal interests above social interests more and more. During the last military operation, the matter has produced a “short circuit” between the representatives of the authorities and the various agencies responsible for national security. How can this be handled?

Answer: The system has not been fixed. Achieving real changes must begin from the people and from its education. Only through social change can we change the government.

And today our leaders reflect the situation of the nation. We live in an egoistic society in which each one thinks only about personal benefit. We are not connected between us; we don’t feel that our fate depends upon unity, by being “like one person with one heart.” We are not concerned about the security of the nation together since first of all each one is trying to provide security for himself.

Moreover, many people are ready to flee to some place where it is possible to get along better. The main thing is that such a thing will be possible for them, and the fate of Israel is not important to them. If you were to give people the opportunity to get along anywhere in the world that suits them, just about nobody would remain here. According to surveys, half of the younger population would want to leave. And regarding the other half, they would stay here out of habit. And in the meantime, those who advance in the leadership of the nation are people possessing even more prominent personal interests.

Exposing The Ego

Question: If we were to support changes in society, what kind of a society should it be?

Answer: We cannot live and develop here if we don’t become the true people of Israel living in the land of Israel. This is talking about two concepts that we must approach and realize.

“Israel” means “Yashar-El.” In other words, all of us connect among us according to the principle “And you shall love your friend as yourself” and we direct ourselves towards a higher power.

The essence of the upper forcer is the force of love, unity, and mutual bestowal. We must aspire to this. This is not connected to religious or secular beliefs. This belongs to connection, the essence of which is formulated in the great and essential general rule in the Torah: “And you shall love your friend as yourself.”

Question: All of us have heard about this. But the ego has grown and grown, desires run wild and a person no longer sees anything outside of himself. So how is this old saying connected to people like us today?

Answer: This saying is eternal. From those days until today, this condition has not changed. And precisely in our day people are ready to see and discern how their growing ego is digging a grave for them. The ego indeed grows, but now the person sees where this leads. He sees that in front of him is only an abyss.

A New People – New Leaders

Question: In a museum of one of the Israeli leaders of the last century, the room in which he lived has been renovated, a small place with a simple chair and a table of a meter and a half. From there he led the nation. So how is it possible to speak about connection in our day when the nation is shaken by outrageous scandals and the leaders acquire luxurious houses? Where will the love come from here?

Answer: From despair. Ultimately we have attained nothing. Those leaders with the penthouses, their expensive apartments, and all the rest of the wealth and luxury feel dependent. That is how an ego that rises to the heavens plays with us. A person is compelled to steal; this need motivates him. He feels that this is not the goal, this isn’t life, and in spite of it all, he is not ready to do anything. He simply cannot avoid stealing, cannot avoid lying, because that is his nature.

So what is to be done with him? After all, it is clear that this way leads all of us to oblivion. Is it worthwhile to bring the matter to a new Holocaust, to World War III, and so on?

Everyone understands this yet nobody has a method that makes it possible to be saved from our internal enemy, which is the ego that pushes us towards theft, lies, forgeries, schemes. The truth is that nobody enjoys this, but everyone is compelled to take a bite out of the general pie and try to arrange a warm and safe corner for himself.

Yet in the world of today, no secure corners really remain. So security will come to us only by way of changes in society, in humanity. These are changes that will bring unity.

In the global world we must be so connected that each one will feel the others as himself. The wisdom of Kabbalah was revealed for this, providing a solution to problems and explaining what must be done. It is up to us to adopt it, and with its help, approach correction of the world. The time has come to consolidate everything into a unified system, a single family.

Only integral education and information will raise general interests above personal interests. The leaders of today are cut off from the people. And there is nothing to demand from them or from the people. Gradual education will bring about changes among the people and this will then produce people from whom it will be possible to educate new leaders.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 12/16/14

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Nature Is Our Home

Laitman_720Question: Do the stars influence the personal fate of a person?

Answer: Such a connection exists. But it isn’t the stars themselves that influence humans, animals, or plants; rather, according to the changes in the position of the stars we can understand which correspondent changes are happening on the levels of vegetative and animate. This doesn’t mean that one influences the other, but according to changes that happen in the heavens, on the level of the still, to which we pay attention, we decide that we must be changed too.

But the stars themselves are not the cause of these changes. It is not on the level of the still. It can remain absolutely hidden from us. But it influences the stars, plants, and people. We don’t see the real cause, and so we have no choice except to link our fate with the stars.

Thus humanity has learned throughout all of its history, from experience. They paid attention to particular plants that followed the moon. Others followed the sun. There were those that opened in the daytime and others that opened at night. From this astrology was born.

Astrology is based upon experience that human beings gathered. Over thousands of years they watched the phenomena of nature in the heavens and on the face of the earth and discovered how one depended on the other, how everything was connected. They constructed records, tables, and pyramids in South America and in Egypt. But all of this teaches only about the mutual connection of all the forces of nature that human beings discovered.

Even people who lived 10,000 years ago had already discovered that our world is global and that all things in it are linked to each other: human nature, the plants that are around him, the animals, nature, and the weather. Everything is connected into a single whole and in every part there are signs of all the rest of the parts, so much so is the system integrated.

Question: How does it follow that in ancient cultures this connection was already known, but because it didn’t since then it wasn’t developed and was even lost? Don’t we get the impression that the ancients were more developed than us?

Answer: The ancient people were more developed than us and were closer to nature. They weren’t afraid of nature; rather, they lived within it and so they understood and felt it. They understood nature better because they attributed everything that was happening with them to it. They connected their entire lives to it: The life of the family and their children, the nature of the person, everything that happens within the family and the community, the weather, the behavior of the animals, and the state of the crop yields in the field.

For them this was one world, and from this perspective, they were more advanced than modern man. Through the development of technologies we have detached ourselves from nature and have stopped respecting and valuing it, feeling it as our home. We will soon have to return to this perspective.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 1/1/15

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Don’t Fix A Rusty Engine

laitman_547_05Question: The issue of minimum wage reaches the headlines more and more often. This is a matter of growing interest not only in Israel but in other countries as well. We would like to examine this issue not from an economic  but a social point of view. After all, the minimum wage can say a lot about our society and it raises a number of problems that are related to the social relationships in our country.

As an advisor in the field of employment, I can personally see how the middle class is gradually reduced to the category of those who live on minimum wage. Generally speaking we are talking about almost a third of the workers who receive minimum wage or a bit more than that. It is about a million people including people who are highly educated, teachers, young architects, social workers, etc. Today, many people find it hard to make ends meet because of the low salary that they receive.

There are many debates with regard to this issue that also include moral aspects: Is there a point in creating artificial, imposed equality? Or rather, should we keep the laws of the free market in every aspect?

Economists also find it hard to agree on this issue. Some claim that a high minimum wage increases unemployment and weakens the economy. Others believe that these claims have no basis. Seven Nobel Prize winners, for example, deny the connection between unemployment and minimum wage and hold that raising the minimum wage benefits society. What is your opinion on this matter?

Answer: I engage in a different type of systems. Different laws than those accepted in modern society control them. These are the laws of nature and not the artificial laws of this world that are imposed by egoistic rivalry.

Therefore, I find it hard to deal with a completely rotten structure of society where “dog eats dog” and everyone hates the other and sees others as his enemy. In such circumstances, it is impossible to give any advice on specific matters since the whole system is hopeless. The only thing we can do is to get rid of it and create something new.

On the other hand, we have already seen how the old world is being ruined without anything new being built that is better in any way. After all, the structure still remains with the same egoistic basis.

Today we are subject to the market economy that works according to its own rules. This means that the employer usually wants to pay less to his employee and actually give him zero wages for a 24-hour shift without any breaks or holidays. The employee, on the other hand, would like not to work at all but only receive a salary into his bank account and not the minimum wage for that matter but a maximum wage.

In such circumstances, a society exists on the account of the competitive potential of its members. They all try to obtain as much as they can by power games, negotiations, agreements, and many other factors.

For example, there are labor laws and law enforcement authorities, trade unions, and workers’ committees, etc., which operate between the employer and his employees. All the parties involved also want to benefit from what is going on and no one wants it to end.

After all, companies, groups, and organizations who are interested parties are still thinking only about themselves even if they try to fight for the rights of the workers and the employees and the lower classes, trying to win for them minimum wage, pension funds, and other benefits. These people have good jobs and get their share. and, in other words, also operate egoistically.

In that case, there is no one from whom we can demand a correction. It is impossible to correct only one part of the mechanism. If we have to change a certain part in this rusty engine with another part made of gold, which is perfect in every parameter, it will be useless at best and in the worst case scenario the fixed part will actually disrupt the whole system even more.

I remember when a girl I studied with decided to clean part of the window in the student flat where I lived with some of my friends. As a result, we discovered that now we have to clean the whole huge window, which was practically the size of the whole wall. Then the light came into the room and we found out that the whole room needed a good cleaning.

In short, if we intend to fix something, we have to take the whole system into account. It is a whole system and every part in it is mutually connected to the other parts, and it is impossible to isolate the minimum wage as a single factor of success. We have to approach the whole system integrally and to shake it well. In other words, we have to take it apart and put it together again anew. No single corrections will help the general picture.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 12/23/14

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Anticipating The Remedy For An Illness

laitman_560Question: Is it true that a person is open to a negative influence more than a positive influence? How much easier is it to go into a panic and worry than to be relaxed?

Answer: They simply haven’t taught us to oppose panic because the evil inclination, the ego, is what always motivates us: a thirst for control, respect and fame, envy, and so forth.

But if we turn these characteristics in a positive direction, they will influence us to the same degree as the negative, and even more.

In every situation we make some kind of calculation. I remember that when my son was a student, he was given the opportunity to travel in Europe. And I let him. He wasn’t home for two months. Certainly I was worried. This was more than twenty years ago; there weren’t any cell phones then.

Much later he traveled to the Far East, to even more dangerous places, to South America. How could I not let him? I put myself in his place. How could he have otherwise discovered life at such a young age? I had to let him, even though it worried me.

Question: But I am sure that there are other people who allow the same thing for their children and cannot sleep from worry.

Answer: This is called painful sensitivity. It is very difficult to overcome it alone. It is absolutely possible to program yourself for other behavior. For example, put yourself under the influence of the environment.

Question: Come, let’s imagine some kind of state of panic. Last night my daughter was delayed somewhere. I called a friend of hers, after that I called the police, hospitals, and didn’t get any answer. I didn’t know where to run. I called my wife and only got annoyed because she received this information in an absolutely relaxed manner. I panicked. So Influence me somehow so that I will stop being in a panic.

Answer: It is necessary to leave this state completely and consider it in a completely neutral way, without touching the problem point. Turn on some music, put some cake and coffee on the table. From this moment on we behave as if nothing happened, as if we are simply sitting in a coffee house and talking about daily life.

And so gradually we move to the subject of fears and worries on condition that in the beginning we talk about our positive attitude in similar situations. In other words, the remedy must anticipate the illness. After that it is necessary to talk about how good it is to be confident and calm. We try to relax ourselves, for example, we imagine ourselves on the beach.

And after this we begin to think about how to remain in this state of calm in our ordinary life. After all, children have their own lives. And what will be when in another five or six years your daughter goes into the army? Will she become more mature and smarter or will I stop being concerned about her? I must understand that all of my concerns don’t bring any benefit.

Question: And what if I see that someone relates to the given situation disparagingly?

Answer: This is not important because “Whoever condemns does so through his own flaws” (Kiddushin 70a). If I will begin to compare his irresponsibility with my inclination towards exaggerated concern, I will be left with nothing. And even if someone doesn’t know how to act nicely, in any case, I am included in his state.

Question: But I don’t want to plunge to the other extreme….

Answer: Don’t worry. Before you reach a balance, it will be necessary for this to “throw” you in the opposite direction. Ultimately everything will return to normal.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 10/21/12

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How Do We Stop Being Concerned About Inconsequential Things?

laitman_232_02Question: Yesterday evening when I had got ready to go to sleep, my 12 year-old daughter still hadn’t come home. My wife and I were unable to reach her by telephone and I, knowing about the criminal situation in our city from the newspapers, could not sleep.

The next day, she let us know that her battery had died. How can I stop being concerned about inconsequential things and overcome my hypersensitivity?

Answer: All of us understand that you are justified. Actually, since a person knows what can happen, he should be concerned and not think, “Whatever will be, will be.” However, there is a way to influence your overprotectiveness. This is through the power of the environment.

For example, we are sitting in a circle and are discussing your situation, among other things, certainly without any disrespect, without dismissing your concerns, for this could push you away. Suppose that one of the women says, “I would go to sleep.”

Later, a man adds, “Nothing will happen. Leave the statistics alone. They inflate them on purpose. I don’t want to hear anything about it. I would go to sleep relaxed. All of my neighbors would do that.”

In other words, we instill you with our behavior, for when you are gripped by panic, you become more sensitive, you absorb more, and we can influence you more strongly than an ordinary person. That is,  you will change more rapidly because you absorb what is going on outside of you more quickly.

Whether you want it or not, you will be influenced greatly by us, and suddenly, you will become more relaxed than everyone else, and then your wife will ask you why you didn’t tell her that your daughter didn’t answer your telephone calls, and you will suddenly say to her, “I didn’t think about it. I went to sleep.”

It only seems to you that this is impossible. The environment can do everything! It is ready to bring us up from every black hole to the Light, to a wonderful, good and comfortable life. Everything depends on us, on how we organize this environment.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 10/21/12

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