A student asked the master, “You said that if I understand who I am, I will become wise. But how do I do that?” The teacher replied, “To begin with, take away from people the right to decide who you are. One will say you are bad, and you will believe him and get upset. Another will say you are good, and you will rejoice. Whether they praise or criticize you, believe in you, or betray you, as long as they have the right to decide who you are, you won’t find yourself. Take away this right from them, and from me, too.” (Parable)
Question: Is it possible to be free from the opinions of others?
Answer: When I see how others judge the world, me, my teacher, and my science, it does, of course, sadden me to a great extent. But in principle, it does not last long or affect me significantly. I find a perfectly sensible answer to it.
Question: Doesn’t it motivate you to make changes?
Answer: No, not at all! That is long gone!
Comment: This means they can no longer change you.
My Response: No one can.
Question: Explain to someone who worries that any opinions can change him. How can he manage to stand firm, avoid all traps, criticism, and so on, and keep moving forward?
Answer: It may take years to achieve this. But I took this upon myself many years ago, and it no longer bothers me.
Question: So you latched onto a goal, a teacher, and that’s it? You couldn’t be swayed by any means?
Answer: By no means.
Question: So in reality, does a person need to hold onto something firmly?
Answer: Yes, to hold on tightly.
Question: Even when doubts arise?
Answer: Doubts come intentionally to make a person hold on.
Question: Is it possible to find oneself without the influence of others? After all, you had a teacher; there was an influence.
Answer: Without the influence of the teacher on me, I am nobody!
Question: But you were looking for someone who would influence you. How can you determine if it’s the right kind of influence you seek?
Answer: During the first few years with him, I still traveled, visited other places, and tried to find out what suited me.
Comment: You are talking about yourself right now.
My Response: Yes, about me and my teacher! And I asked him, “How do I know that you are real? In the thousands of years that Kabbalah has existed, how many like you have there been? Where are they, where are their students, and what happened to them?” He said, “I don’t know.”
Question: Is this called “teacher’s help” to answer like this: “I don’t know”?
Answer: Yes. You have to check for yourself.
Question: So, he doesn’t try to prove anything; he says, “Check it yourself”?
Question: So was his influence on you like this: “See if it suits you or not”?
Answer: We sit down, we read, we talk, but we don’t delve into anything personal.
Question: Does personal mean whether it’s your place or not?
Question: So do these clarifications take quite a while for a person?
Answer: Gradually, you grab hold more and more, then let go, fall, and then rise and grab hold again. And like this you move forward.”
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/31/23
Rise Above the Influence of Society
How To Broaden Your Perception
Why Do We Perceive A Divided Reality?