Entries in the 'Q&A' Category

How Can We Teach Children Kindness?

627.2Shula writes:

Hello, Michael Laitman! My son is 15. It seems everything is fine. He and his friends are growing up in the society where we as parents are trying to teach them the values of love to others, mutual connection, and friendship. Despite our efforts, I suddenly see that they are full of disregard for one another, they humiliate and mock the weak ones.

My heart hurts to see all this, my hands give up. Where have all our efforts gone? It turns out that everything they absorb at school and on the Internet is stronger than the values we want to instill in them. Tell us, what can we do? How can we teach them mutual respect and friendship? How can we teach them to be kind to each other? After all, you are constantly talking about that. How?

Answer: Still tell them that the basic law of nature is connection, kindness, and unity where people are getting closer to one to another. Only in this case can we hope for a happy continuation.

And if not, nature will teach us, as we see it at all its levels, to bring us to this decision.

Question: So one way or another, we will be corrected toward this decision?

Answer: Yes

Question: Parents are teaching their kids these values; they tell them more and more, but the result is still the opposite.

Answer: Yes, obviously. It is this way in order not to take away the freedom of will from a person.

Question: Do you mean his freedom of will now is to humiliate another person, to exercise his egoism?

Answer: Yes

Question: And we have to patiently wait until they suffer enough or what?

Answer: Perhaps when they realize that their path is a dead-end.

Question: Should we still continue telling them about mutual guarantee, about love, about friendship?

Answer: Yes

Question: Even if our hands give up?

Answer: It does not matter. You have to tell them all of this.

Question: I am talking to a wall. They do not hear me. Do I keep talking?

Answer: It does not matter, you have to talk.

Question: How do I poke a hole in this wall?

Answer: Precisely by your consistency.

Question: It means you are for the parents’ persistence?

Answer: There is nothing else.
[325670]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/11/24

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Are We Going to Prolong Life?

204Question: A person complains about his life to God: this is not good, and that is not good, and I have problems at work, trouble with the family, debts, and  poor health. God manifests Himself and says “This is all understandable. But tell me one thing: Are we going to prolong life?”

Should we prolong this life?

Answer: I think if God is asking a person, then the person should answer “Sure, give me more.”

Question: So, it means that for all our complaints this is bad and that is bad, we still should continue?

Answer: If we live, we have to live.
[325079]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/18/23

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Where Will the River of Life Take Us?

760.1Roman writes:

I regularly watch your shows. They help me live, especially in these difficult times. But sometimes I am puzzled. I watched your video today about the four candles when all the candles go out, and only one remains: hope. And suddenly I hear in your response that one just needs to live through this day. What does it mean to live through? Right now, you know, it is not easy with work, money, life in general, and the age is not the same anymore, and illnesses. So, what lies behind this phrase that you keep repeating: “You just need to live through it”?

Answer: You need to go with the flow of life as if you are in a boat, in a river, and it is carrying you somewhere, not onto rocks, not onto waterfalls, just the current carries you. That is how we should still look at life. And what else can I advise people who live in our time? You just need to keep going.

Question: And at the same time, I know there is the current and there is the boat?

Answer: There is the current, there is the boat, and there is me in the boat. And I have to agree that I am floating with the current. I cannot swim against the current. I cannot get out of this river anywhere. The only thing I can do is accept where the current takes me.

Question: Who is this answer directed to?

Answer: To myself first and foremost. That is how a person should understand.

Question: Are my friends also in this boat?

Answer: If you put it that way, then yes. We are all floating in the boat with the current of life, in the river of life. And it is best to understand that this is how it is. We survived through the day, we survived. Another day, once again. And so on and so forth.

Question: So you are not in favor of making any plans?

Answer: No! Those plans never come to fruition anyway, and we only worry about them.

Question: So, are you concerned that we are heading toward disappointment?

Answer: It depends on what goals we set for ourselves in life.

Question: And still, what goals should we set? I am floating in this boat; do I want to reach somewhere or not?

Answer: If you have such a goal.

Question: If the goal is to reach somewhere, then…?

Answer: Then yes. You should check it: is it worth it? Can you achieve that goal? If you can, then yes. And if not, then slowly row a little closer to it, but still calmly. Do not rush.

Comment: This complicates things a bit.

My Response: Why does it complicate things? Should we be striving?

Comment: We are used to striving for a goal, we are used to pursuing a goal.

My Response: I do not think it is wise in our time. There are periods that carry you, and that is it.

Question: So, in our words: “There is none else beside Him”?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And is that how I should live?

Answer: The Creator still creates new conditions for us, and whether we wish it or not, we will still implement them—what He desires.

Question: What does it mean to surrender to this? On one hand, it means giving up?

Answer: No, agreeing with where the river of life is carrying us does not mean giving up. It means truly perceiving the flow of the river of life and moving along with it, understanding that you cannot go against it. There are no heroes who could go against the current. And yet, we might still wish to change something, but that something can only be very, very small in our lives.

Question: Where is the joy in this? We still want to be joyful.

Answer: Joy is not in creating something like throwing myself into the water and starting to block the river, and so on. Joy is in finding special points of movement in my ordinary, simple life path and trying to move along them.

Question: What do you mean? Special points, are they joyful points? Is that what you are saying?

Answer: They can be joyful or sorrowful; nevertheless, we must go through them. Therefore, we need to accept life more as a flow.

Question: Still to nullify oneself, surrender to it. Like that?

Answer: If you do not nullify yourself, it still does not mean anything.

Question: But what about the fact that we get used to and found joy in it: to swim against the current, for example, to go against nature?

Answer: That is your inner feeling. In reality, no one can go against it anyway.

Question: We repeat with you more than once that a human nature is egoistic. And a person must somehow rise above his nature. Can you relate to this?

Answer: Yes. Rising above one’s nature is precisely realizing that you are still floating with the current of the river. And still, you perhaps might want to get out of it, but you do not even know where or how, and who is waiting for you on the shore if you suddenly emerge from under the water with your boat, and so on. So, I do not know if that is wise.

Question: Do we need to know or at least have a premonition of what awaits us in the end? After all, rivers flow into the sea.

Answer: You have to choose a goal that seems realistic to you and that aligns with your abilities, and try to achieve it somehow. So, we must somehow understand that we are leaving the river of life, getting out of it, and then somehow continuing to sail on.

Question: So, these milestones of stops should be along the way?

Answer: Yes, but frankly, in the end everyone, even if during their life they aspire to become a revolutionary in something and so on, ultimately agrees that this is life and it ends with death, and then, what will be will be.

Comment: It does not sound very optimistic, of course.

My Response: Why doesn’t it sound very optimistic?

Comment: Still, we want to set goals not that necessarily we defeat death, but at least internally, within ourselves, you know.

My Response: On the contrary! When you agree with this, you acquire a special tranquility and a special perception of life, and you perceive it realistically. I am not talking about death. I am talking about really perceiving this flow.

Question: But I will ask again. If those engaged in our science are in this boat, and let’s say it has been many years, should their behavior be the same; what do you think?

Answer: Their behavior should be as they, like any person, strive toward their goal.

Comment: So if the goal is to rise above one’s nature.

My Response: If the goal is to rise above one’s nature, then it is with you in the boat. You should not jump anywhere and swim to the shore, you should not shout: “Hey, who is there on the shore?”—there might be someone. You do not have to call anything to yourself. It all depends on your mood, your attitude toward what you are sailing through. And in the end, you enter into another dimension.

Question: How does this happen? How am I pulled out of my nature? I am just sailing in the boat, with our idea.

Answer: You are not pulled out, you are not going anywhere. Simply, the illusion in which you existed is gradually replaced by another, a third, and so on.

Comment: And I no longer pay attention, like Roman writes here that life is hard, age, illnesses.

My Response: No, no, no. I am no longer interested in that. I am already thinking about how I will calmly live through this and then enter into a new life.

Question: How can you deal with this? With this life which overwhelms, with illnesses, sufferings?

Answer: The best thing is to surrender to it and not resist. Because resistance will not give anything, and we know that. Everything around us goes through such stages and ends similarly. Treat both life and death kindly.

Question: And is this called “also treating the Creator the same way”?

Answer: Yes, agree with Him, with what He has done, with what He has done to us, placed us within certain boundaries, and given us such a vector of development.

Question: When it is said that everyone has their own path, what does it mean? Their own path to the Creator?

Answer: Yes, nothing else. And there is nothing particularly new here except relative to the individual.

Question: So, each person has their own path to the Creator?

Answer: Yes, if a person understands this, then it is called that they have gained wisdom.
[325576]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/11/24

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Overcoming Difficulties

112Question: In everyday life when we encounter difficulties and realize that we have no strength to overcome them, we stop making efforts. But in Kabbalah, on the contrary, the more a person goes through difficulties, the stronger he gets.

This is part of the path. But how can one avoid falling into this strange philosophy that if things are difficult, it means they are good?

Answer: No one says that difficult is good. Nobody welcomes difficulties. What for? To show that I am a hero and fight with windmills? That I am Don Quixote you can laugh at?

I want to reach the goal. If I need to make an effort, I will, because I look at difficulties as help, thanks to which I grow. After all, movement toward the goal can only be to the extent of my spiritual growth. That is why I need obstacles.

They are like problems that a school child solves in class. In spiritual work, we solve problems so that each of the difficulties creates a completely new perception and feeling of the world in us.

In principle, these are not even difficulties, but learning, adaptation, and enrichment with new things. This is how everything happens in science and other fields of knowledge.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Overcoming Difficulties” 1/5/12

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Adapt To the Spiritual System

938.03Question: What does a person who does not perceive the spiritual system do?

Answer: For this, we have courses where methods of incorporation into this system are studied. They give a person the opportunity to see the integral interconnection between all people. It is gradually approaching us, and we cannot escape from it. We have to get to know it, adapt it to ourselves or ourselves to it, otherwise it will be bad.

This system manages us and governs the whole world, the fate of humanity. If we get acquainted with it and are able to interact with it as correctly as possible, a person will bring himself and the whole world to a perfect state.

Everyone has the opportunity to imagine this picture in some, not yet sensory, but purely contemplative way. All kinds of clips, drawings, films, and articles have been created on this topic, all kinds of forums and practical classes are held so that a person gets an idea about this system, and then his integration into mutual connection with others occurs.

He will feel how it breathes, how it works, how the entire surrounding world is within this system.
[325808]
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Laitman’s Negative Properties” 1/5/12

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When the Greatness of the Upper World Does Not Let Go

231.01Question: You patiently explain the same things year after year. Where do you get such patience from?

Answer: You know me. I am impatient! But I have no choice. That is an example of the greatness of the goal, the vision of the upper picture of the universe prevailing over all my animal qualities.

I am terribly impatient and harsh. I cannot stand people. I am an introvert. I have so many negative qualities I am shocked at myself.

But when I see a spiritual system, get involved in it, and work for it, then all these qualities work the other way around, oppositely. I become patient and explain the same thing twenty times. For many years now,   I start every morning and end every day like this. But it could never have happened before!

I made many revolutions in life until I came to the science of Kabbalah. I am not even talking about myself, but about the fact that this system, once revealed to you, conquers you, seemingly enslaving you. You cannot stop working for it because its greatness, harmony, and perfection will not let you go.

You cannot turn to something different because it is like falling into manure. Will you stay there? No! You still have to get up and dust it off.

While here is the Garden of Eden! True, it hurts to see it unfinished like this, but the system itself is shining on you. So you have to take an active part in reviving it completely.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Laitman’s Negative Properties” 1/5/12

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How Can I Convince Myself Not to Overeat?

546.04Rani writes:

Dear Michael Laitman,

You always talk in your programs about harmony and balance. But my whole family is completely out of balance. And it is not just my family. Today children suffer from overeating and obesity from childhood. They grow up, and the race for weight loss begins, like with my wife. All sorts of starvation programs to lose weight, pills, counting calories. I want to ask you: maybe in order for a person to have a balanced diet, they must first achieve internal balance?

My Response: Of course, we see that when a person starts to get nervous, they start eating more, and so on.

Question: Do we just need inner balance and not any weight loss programs or calorie counts?

Answer: None of that.

Question: Then the main question is how to achieve this. You could win the Nobel Prize right now if you could advise humanity on how to lose weight. How can one come into balance with oneself, into equilibrium?

Answer: Everything must be related to the Creator, only to Him. We need to understand that everything comes from Him, and everything is for us to realize that we are constantly correcting our nature that is initially completely opposite to the Creator, and that we are moving toward Him, getting closer to Him.

If we do not come closer to Him, we will still be approaching Him, and things will get worse for us. But if we know that we must come closer to the Creator, then we will act wisely, and our approach to Him will be benevolent.

Comment: I personally feel that here lies the entire truth. That is, while I am fixated on the body, I will not advance anywhere; I will be fixated on it. But I need to focus on the Creator.

My Response: On the Creator.

Question: At what point does balance happen? How many attempts do I need until suddenly at some point there is peace?

Answer: You need to set yourself in advance that search for balance is my life.

Question: Usually we fail all starvation programs and start gaining weight again. Are you saying that even if we fail, but keep advancing toward the Creator, this search for balance will give us…?

Answer: It will give us a happy life.

Question: And we will not need any programs, none of that?

Answer: Nothing. I should reach a state where I eat to exist and maintain balance.

Question: Not more?

Answer: No more. What for?

Question: When will I start living like that?

Answer: When you understand that it is precisely in balance, in equilibrium that you find the connection with the Creator. He is gradually revealed in you, and you feel it.

Question: Does one way or another everything come down to this?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Can we completely reduce all our questions to this?

Answer: Absolutely everything!
[326279]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/22/24

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I Cannot Get Disappointed

293.1Amir asks:

Michael, the more you call for unity and good relations, the worse it gets. And yet, you continue and continue. Don’t you see that nothing is working?

Answer: What can I do? In return, I want to ask Amir: “What should be done?”

Comment: I do not know what Amir will tell you; I would say: “Get tired, enough already.”

My Response: No, I cannot get tired. Every day I see the development of evil.

Question: So why not say this: “It continues to develop, let’s leave this generation alone?” Once the phrase “generation is not worthy” was said.

Answer: Yes, but that does not mean that I walk away from it and stop everything.

Comment: But you can see that it is getting worse.

My Response: I do not evaluate good or bad, better or worse at all. I just know that I must do it and that is it. There is no possibility of getting disappointed, leaving, and so on. Whatever happens—no!

Question: So, you must continue?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: Amir thinks that you are saying this, but people’s ears are closed and their hearts too. So, it goes somewhere into the sand, as he believes.

My Response: Everything has its history, beginning, and end. So I hope there will be an end to this.

Question: That is, in principle, as they say: water wears away stone. Just like that, drop by drop. You just keep going like that, right?

Answer: I must do that!

Question: Is this called above reason or not?

Answer: Yes, against reason.

Question: Will they hear?

Answer: Not soon.
[325355]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/4/24

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If You Were Offended

36Question: A student asked: “Teacher, how can I learn to forgive?” The teacher replied: “Learn not to be offended.”

Do you still need to learn to forgive or learn not to be offended?

Answer: Do not be offended.

Question: Why? Can you explain it to me?

Answer: We need to understand other people and agree with them in advance that offense is all a pure product of our egoism.

Question: If I learn to forgive, then do I learn to forgive him? And if I learn not to be offended, is it me who learns not to be offended? Is there work with my “I” here?

Answer: Yes, sure.

Question: What do I do with it if I am not offended even though I have been very offended?

Answer: I believe that this is in the order of human nature; therefore, I do not feel justified in rising up against it.

Question: Is it human nature to offend? If I have been offended, I must say, “This is human nature”?

Answer: Yes.

Question: At the same time, should I say this is my nature, too?

Answer: In general, yes, but it is not necessary.

Question: Is it possible not to be offended when you, your “I,” are crushed and spoiled?

Answer: It comes with age that you begin to feel and understand that this is human nature, there is no point in being offended. We are talking beyond 70 years of age. And before that, you are still a child.
[325003]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/18/23

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Then the Pain and Suffering Will Disappear

963.4Question: from Anya:

You often say that you need to be happy. How can we be happy about what is happening today? There is no joy today. Today you are afraid of tomorrow. There’s so much grief around today, how can I be happy? How to be happy?

My Response: A person should strive to comprehend the meaning of life and see that the meaning of life is for life itself to be revealing to you:  what it is for, why it is, and where it leads through animal death, in general, where it leads us and where it pulls us. A person should strive for this revelation.

Question: In principle, do we understand that from birth to “coffin” is a segment of my life?

Answer: This is a period of life that, in general, does not count as life, because you are following some clear instinctive instructions of nature here. You act in accordance with the order to survive, get comfortable, suffer less, and so on.

Question: And so, I have to jump out of this state?

Answer: Yes. You have to jump out of this state in order to feel the meaning of existence.

Question: Where is the joy here?

Answer: The joy here is in comprehending the whole universe. Joy is in understanding the meaning.

Question: Anya asks: “How can you be happy today when all this is happening?”

Answer: When you understand what all this is for and how much every movement of inanimate, vegetative, animate, and human nature, everything is aimed at revealing the mystery of life.

Question: Is it possible to link what is happening around, suffering and horrors, to this chain, the disclosure of the mystery of life?

Answer: Of course, that is what all this is for.

Question: And when it hurts?

Answer: When it hurts, then it is all the more necessary to understand that all this leads us eventually to a sense of inner meaning.

Question: And does this lead to joy?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And what happens to the pain?

Answer: The pain disappears. If we know exactly what for, why, and for what, we become included in it, then there is no pain, and everything becomes meaningful.

Question: Breakdowns happen here; what do I lose again and find again in this movement?

Answer: They happen so often that you think that is how it should be.

Question: So, I’m going to lose and find, lose and find, this meaning of life?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And it’s still considered that I’m getting stronger and getting closer?

Answer: You are getting stronger all the time and moving forward.

Question: Is there no other way to move toward this?

Answer: No, immersion in the meaning of life is the comprehension of the Creator.
[324604]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/8/24

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