Answer: “Friend – Chaver” is from the word “connection – chibur”. I don’t mean friends that connect in order to go out for a good time together at some sports club or a pub. In a Kabbalistic group someone is called a friend if he is someone with whom I connect in order to create a shared deficiency for mutual bestowal between us. From this I will learn what the characteristic of bestowal is.
After we know what the characteristic of bestowal is, we can expand our common Kli, vessel, and deepen it, seek the higher power within the characteristic of mutual bestowal that we have discovered. This advancement links us together with each other, soul to soul! We discover that we belong to a single system and that our souls are close to each other. This is a connection of the parts of a single soul, and therefore we are found together; for this reason the upper Light gathered us into a group.
I don’t look at faces, whom do I like and whom I don’t, according to which I will distance myself or approach someone. I accept everyone! If he has come, he is apparently part of the puzzle that is closest to us. Without him we cannot finish the puzzle. And with every friend who arrives, we assemble more and more of this puzzle, the structure of the collective soul.
This is what is called a friend, someone with whom we connect our souls and complete the collective soul between us. After we nullify our ego that separates us and disturbs us from sticking the parts of our puzzle together, we can adhere to each other. This is what is called a true friend.
Certainly we go through ascents and descents by mutually helping each other. I understand the friend, feel when he falls and needs help, and also when I fall, I need his help and support. Everything is permissible except for cynicism toward the group and the spiritual path. If some kind of mood or cynicism falls on him, this is already a problem. But difficulties on the way are unavoidable and we overcome them together; therefore we are called friends.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/3/13, Writings of Rabash