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Question: How do we create our point of connection within the family, from what is this built?
Answer: The point of connection is built from my good desire and the good desire of my wife. This is the point of connection in which we feel each other internally. I suddenly begin to feel what is in my wife’s mind and heart and she feels what is in my mind and heart. We begin to be linked by more internal points that connect into one point.
And of course, when we attain this point of connection, it immediately disappears! At that moment evasion and hiding happens. It is as if I am trying to catch a target in the crosshairs and this point is turning all the time so that I don’t succeed in hitting it. But precisely because we are tracking it all the time and inserting more precision, adding variety, desires, thoughts, and mutual efforts, in this way we make progress.
Constant effort and steady work within the mind and heart are required of us, but simultaneously we feel excited. Here something new is discovered that we share, which is called the “man,” the inclusion of Adam and Eve together, a man and a woman. We discover the inner spiritual foundation of this structure called a “man” (Adam).
Question: How can I be sure that I am watching this process from our shared point and not from my private, self-serving point?
Answer: This feeling cannot be measured. You simply know that you feel each other now as you never felt each other before. Suddenly a unique sensation like this is awakened in you that you don’t want to escape. It gives you a feeling of vitality and fulfillment a billion times greater than you ever felt before. Then you can succeed in connecting to the image found opposite to you, and in this way you go out of yourself and begin to feel the whole world.
Question: So what can we do so this point of connection will never disappear?
Answer: You must work on it all the time together. If you grasp this point, you need to try to hold on to it through constant coupling, with a sensation of inner connection that doesn’t disappear.
Inner coupling cannot be explained in words. When you feel it in yourself, only then will you understand. This is not a beastly, corporeal coupling, rather a connection in which you feel that your own inner world and the inner world of your partner have become one.
Question: How does this actually happen, will I feel my wife’s thoughts, her emotions?
Answer: These will no longer be her thoughts, rather those of both of you, a common thought. A new reality is created from the connection of both of you into one. And within this connection, you will feel a higher level. We call this the Creator since we once came into this world from this level, were born, grew, and as if by chance we met and married. And now, thanks to this work, we again return to that source.
Question: And what do we do if we reach a drop of feeling like this for a second and then it disappears?
Answer: You must begin the work anew: I again describe to myself what my wife wants from me, compare this to my egoistic desire, and between these two extremes, construct a middle line. In that middle line we connect and reach a new unity.
When we get experience doing this work, then we can develop our personal relationships in an informed manner. But for starters, this picture can be described more simply, not in its true form, where each works with his two egoistic lines and builds between them a middle line, but as two opposing lines, mine and my partner’s, while attaining a middle line between us. And then each to the degree of his concession, will advance towards the middle where we meet.
From KabTV’s “A New Life #46” 8/1/12
Question: The principle for creating good relationships between couples states: “Through connection and love each one is included in the other, is enriched, and acquires more and more powers. The condition for this is that the person reduces himself in relation to the other and doesn’t place himself higher than the other.” How do we realize this principle in relationships between couples?
Answer: A connection is formed between couples like between two natures that become integrated into each other. The ego of each, within which the person lives, is round. He guards its borders and wants to receive fulfillment within them; other than this nothing concerns him. He also wants to receive pleasure and be fulfilled by his partner. If he is fulfilled thanks to which he benefits the partner, then this is what we call love. And if he is fulfilled by only taking from the partner and doesn’t give anything in return, this is called hatred. But ultimately, there is only one goal, personal fulfillment.
And here begins my work according to the original plan that I must nullify myself. The more that I empty a place within me of my ego, refrain from filling it, I can insert more and more of the desires of the other, meaning my wife’s, instead of my desires. In this form, each nullifies his ego in order to accept the desires of the other.
Ultimately a shared territory is created where I have nullified myself to give pleasure to my wife, and she does the same thing in regard to me as well in order to give me pleasure. That is how we find ourselves in a common territory where there is complete mutual agreement and connection between us. Through my concession and her concession, I accept her desires and thoughts and she accepts my desires and thoughts. This is at least to a particular degree, clearly everything would not be immediate.
This common territory is called the area of connection between us, unity, where we feel a common desire, a common attraction and understanding. In this territory exist agreement, a covenant, and love between us. Love says that I want to fulfill particular desires of my partner and she wants to do the same thing for me also. Meanwhile, this is not absolute and perfect love but only partial love, but we are conscious of this and protect it and are concerned about its existence.
Question: Due to what am I enriched and do I acquire additional powers?
Answer: Thanks to my connection with the other, even in the smallest common territory, then all the rest of his territory, including his desires and abilities, also pass into my domain. For if love, agreement, and connection in some kind of common territory exists between us, we are no longer enemies. We have not yet reached complete agreement; we haven’t worked on this yet. It could be that these questions have not been awakened in us yet and don’t stand like barriers before us that we must change and remove. But after we have reached a partial agreement, some kind of connection, love, and support, then it is already possible to be sure that the opposing side will stand by your side, will be your partner.
I concede my desires and thoughts and am ready to accept the desires, thoughts, and expectations of the partner; this is saying that I am nullifying myself in regard to her. Nature helps us with this; it connects us through common property, a house, and shared finances. It obliges us to be concerned for each other because we cannot exist separately. And the main thing is that we share in giving birth to children towards whom we feel an instinctive, natural love.
And so it is logical that a common realm is created between us on the earthly, material level. So what is required of us is to fulfill our common realm on a higher stratum through concessions of our ego, one in regard to the other, and in additional connection.
Particularly in our day we have reached such an egoistic development that the house, the common property, and our shared children no longer matter to us. So if we don’t construct a spiritual addition, undoubtedly we will divorce.
It is clear that neither of us would agree to nullify himself towards the other unless we intentionally do this for the sake of a higher goal. “Domestic peace” brings us a multitude of benefits; it protects the nerves, health, years of life and it brings serenity. There must be a very strong belief in all of society, a need to explain this to people. If each one would agree to see the discovery of the higher power in the partner, the likeness through which the Creator presents himself to the person, then necessarily he would lower himself.
From KabTV’s “New Life” 8/1/12
Today the Creator intentionally makes the whole world feel that it is hanging in the air. A person doesn’t know what to expect and what will happen next. Suddenly there are floods in Europe, hurricanes in America, fires, and mass killing. The whole world is shocked: “the Arab Spring,” “the Turkish Spring,” the uprisings in Syria, Lebanon, Libya, and Egypt. It is all happening when with modern technology and opportunities that we have, we could have solved all the corporeal problems and turned the earth into Heaven.
Everyone knows that, politicians, scientists, and sociologists. We have reached such a level of progress that we could easily provide the whole world population with all the basic needs such as food and clothing. There is no problem except for man himself: Man is the only thing that needs to be corrected.
After all, for the time being we can promise ourselves corporeal prosperity in every area and we can solve all our problems, but at the same time half of the world’s population is starving and the other half is suffering from depression and is losing the desire to live, like in Europe where there are no food problems but there are other problems.
The only thing that can save us is changing human nature. We must all understand this and make this our main goal. There is no other way. We will not succeed in anything if we don’t change our nature. It has to be clear to everyone and first of all to those who engage in the wisdom of Kabbalah.
We can abandon all the other attempts to correct the situation since no matter what achievements we will make in supplying food and clothing, in heavy and light industry, in high-tech, it will not improve our state at all. Technologically we can do wonders, but we cannot use that for the benefit of mankind.
We can invent remedies for certain diseases. Even now there are already remedies for cancer, kidney and heart diseases that are much better than the ones that are used today, but it isn’t profitable to manufacture them and so they don’t reach the market. It is much more profitable to manufacture more expensive equipment and to create greater confusion in order to keep the doctors and the medical professionals busier. A whole industry revolves around this; the healthcare system is a healthcare plant.
So we cannot fix anything before we correct human nature. We have to focus only on that and then we will succeed. Otherwise it won’t work.
My practically new printer went out of order a while ago. I managed to print only 50 pages and it already stopped working. The manufacturers intentionally manufacture products that will break down immediately and we will have to buy new ones. Our nature intentionally makes us do everything in the opposite manner. It seems that technology is advancing but the bottom line is that we are regressing in every area. It is all meant so that we will understand the evil in us.
No wonder no one feels secure and there is no good and pleasant environment for our children. Eventually it will be impossible to predict what will happen from one moment to the next and you will turn into a little frightened rabbit hiding under a leaf. This will be our life: In the morning you will think about how to survive until the evening and at night you will wait for the morning.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to advance without fear. After all, I am an egoist, so the only way to impress me is by fear. There are endless types of fear: good or bad fear, fear of this world and of the next world, fear of not attaining the Creator, of not being able to perceive Him, of not being able to bestow upon Him. But in any case, fear is the most efficient stimulus. Fear can lead to what is desirable, as it is derived from the desire. I want to achieve a certain goal and I fear that will not be able to achieve it, which means that fear stems from fear and this is already a real motive , which is called “fear.”
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/11/13, Writings of Rabash, “Igrot,” Letter 16
The topic of the first lesson of the convention in St. Petersburg is “There is None Else Besides Him.” This is the main topic that we always study.
In principle, we are in a special reality called the “Creator” and have to reveal Him. The “Creator” (Boreh) means to “come and see” (Bo-reh in Hebrew). If we already dwell in Him, in the upper white Light, then only He acts and there is none else besides Him. Only He “outlines,” forms us; He is the first and He is the last. All our thoughts and deeds stem from the actions of this upper Light. Nothing exists but Him.
We observe still, vegetative, and animate forms in which the Creator acts wholly, obliging them to make any movement. They have no freedom of will at all; they are entirely under His direct influence.
On the other hand, we ourselves have a certain point, created by Him, existing seemingly outside of Him. This point gives us the opportunity to know the Creator—the only one who affects us. In fact, in this way we do not go somewhere outside, do not become distant from Him, and do not violate any of His actions. The reality remains the same: There is no one else besides the Creator. However, due to this point that seems to be abstracted from Him, I can analyze myself and Him, I can deliberately and consciously lead myself to the only existing state in which there is none else besides Him.
I attain the Creator due to this work. I attribute every fragment of reality to His oneness, and thus I attain all His deeds, all the steps, direct and opposite Him, that He undertakes. So, returning to the state of unity and oneness of the Creator, I stand in all the power that He has given me and realize that really there is none else besides Him.
Thus, I bring Him pleasure, and this is the greatest pleasure that I can bring Him, and this means myself. After all, there is none else besides Him.
So now we need, against our desire, to reasonably and deliberately become included in the concept: “There is none else besides Him.”
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/3/13, Preparation the St. Petersburg Convention, Lesson 1
All desires and thoughts that arise in a person in relation to spiritual work, for or against it, all of them come only from the Creator. We are always a consequence, while He is always the cause. He is always the source, the root, the first, and we are a consequence, created, the second.
Therefore, we must realize that we always feel our response to His influence, and we according to this understanding should respond. That is, if He gives us correct thoughts and desires, we should be thankful. If there are incorrect thoughts and desires, but at the same time He reminds us that He does this, then we should ask and be thankful for a reminder.
We need to imagine the future that is our next degree, which relative to us is perfect bestowal that we can only think of—that is not half, not a quarter, but complete bestowal—the only way the lower degree imagines the higher one, as the standard of its final corrected state. After all, In order to rise to the next degree, it really needs to reach its end of correction.
All the qualities, all the obstacles and disappointments that exist in a person need to be corrected and completed to perfection. Nothing disappears without a trace, but everything is corrected, adding to the form of complete bestowal that a person can only imagine. He must see that the whole world, all the people, are in bestowal and he is included and absorbed there, dissolves in there.
This is his next degree, and having ascended to it, he discovers an additional desire and depth there, a whole new range of work. He will need to apply efforts again to reveal all the desires of this degree, the depth of its vessels and properties, and strive again to correct this degree fully. When he reaches this, it will be the completion of the ten Sefirot of the next degree. Thus, he will rise from state to state, from degree to degree.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/30/13, Writings of Rabash
Question: How can we acquire additional deficiencies that we need in our preparation for the convention?
Answer: We shouldn’t ask for deficiencies but for their correction and for the completion of those that we already have. You are asking how you should prepare and enlarge your vessel, but what we have is enough and we don’t need additional deficiencies. We only need to connect what we have now in one integral manner.
We don’t need anything else but that, and this is the only thing we should think about. Then different thoughts, disappointments, confusions, rejections, and other interruptions will come along that will help us grow stronger and complete the general connection into one whole on the first level.
We only have to connect, to unite Israel, the Torah, and the Creator; that’s all. The deficiencies that we already have are enough and we don’t need any more. We don’t need to look for new troubles and confusions or unpleasantness, leave this work for the Light. Our work is to yearn to unite everything into one concept.
Then we will suddenly encounter new interruptions, which is a sign what they were missing in order to complete the Aviut (thickness) for the first level. Then we will work with them too as we acknowledge and are grateful for the help we have received. This is called “being grateful for the evil as well as for the good,” to thank and to bless both the Light and the new deficiencies.
Question: How should we prepare for that?
Answer: I want everything in me to unite in one direction, I prepare myself for that and don’t sit and wait for the beginning of the convention. The right preparation wants it to happen now and not leave it for tomorrow. I expect the Messiah to come at any moment and bring us to the end of correction. This is called preparation.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/30/13, Writings of Rabash
Israel is a point in the heart that yearns to know what the taste of life is, to discover the secret of life, the source of life. It determines a person’s inner connection with the upper force. A person cannot imagine this connection, but it already exists. Because of it, he is called Israel, Yashar-El (straight to the Creator), since he has this inclination towards the Creator. But this force doesn’t belong to him; rather, it stems from the point in the heart, which is the Godly part from Above that is in him. He has nothing of the upper other than that and will never have anything but what he develops of this point.
As we ascend the 125 levels, we discover our 613 vessels. This is on a person’s part. On the Creator’s part, we are given the point in the heart and the Light that Reforms. We can use these two means in order to correct our shattered vessels.
It turns out that I have an inclination towards spirituality and I have 613 egoistic desires. There is also the Light that Reforms if I want to draw it. So what do I lack? I lack a group towards which I fulfill my 613 desires. This is why I am brought to the group.
So I have a point in the heart, 613 shattered desires, a group, and the Light that Reforms, everything that I need. Now I only have to connect them correctly. If I integrate all these components correctly, the Light operates and influences my 613 desires; my point in the heart is strengthened by them and then the Light can be revealed in these 613 desires, which is called the revelation of the Creator to the created being.
Thus we end one state and everything happens over again from the beginning. The point in the heart is also renewed since it has become stronger by the corrected 613 desires on the previous level. It begins to illuminate and to burn more strongly since against it are the 613 new egoistic desires that are crueler than the previous ones. In contrast to them, there is a stronger Light that Reforms if I want to use it. I also have a group in contrast to them, which according to the new ego is depicted to me as much worse than it was before. So once more I work in order to connect all these components correctly. On the whole this is all I have to do: establish the right relations between these four components.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/30/13, Writings of Rabash
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Writings of Rabash “Shlavei HaSulam,” “The Importance of a Prayer of Many“
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The Book of Zohar — Introduction, “Two Points,” Item 120, Lesson 41
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Preparation to St. Petersburg Convention, “From Hatred to Love by the Light that Reforms,” Lesson 2
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