Entries in the 'Children' Category

Why Is The Value Of Family Declining?

laitman_627.1Question: In the last 20 years, the family unit began to disintegrate. Today, especially in developed European countries, a huge number of people live alone.

And now nature has put us in quarantine through the coronavirus where we are confined in the family circle, if we have one. Does this mean that nature is trying to bring us back to a natural cell?

Answer: Nature is forcing us to unite. We must come to it in the right, positive way, voluntarily realizing this necessity and also that the whole of human society, all 8 billion people, are one common organism called Adam.

Either we will consciously unite to complement each other into the system of Adam or we will be forced to do this under the pressure applied by nature, like the coronavirus.

Question: Can a family naturally learn the right attitude toward each other and then treat others the same way?

Answer: Yes. But family is a purely natural interaction. It exists in animals to a certain extent. But in human society, this unit is very special, interesting, enduring , and rich in nuances. This is the unit from which society should develop.

But since society is currently not developing in the right direction to reach the level of the Creator toward the next stage of human existence, the human level is getting destroyed. And so, the family unit is disintegrating.

Remark: Looking at the statistical data, I noticed an overwhelming amount of conflict in families. Therefore, it is unlikely that a person can learn anything by looking at the relationships that exist in the family.

My Comment: Indeed, this is so. But only because there is no goal to unite the family.

It turns out that the family exists for the husband and wife to work somewhere from morning till night. In the evening, they come home, devote a few minutes to the children, have dinner, most often with prepared foods, and go to bed. This does not unite the family, does not form a unit. Children are a burden to them. They send them to kindergarten, then to school, and rarely see them.

Life is arranged in such a way that only separates us. Thus, the very structure of life, work, and society destroys the family.
From KabTV’s “The Post-Coronavirus Era,” 4/23/20

Related Material:
The Coronavirus And The Family
The Virus Has Identified Problems In The Family
Rental Family

Ten-Year-Old Criminals. Punishment—Pros And Cons

laitman_552.03Question: In the UK, under the law, a person is criminally liable starting from the age of ten. “Criminal liability from the age of ten—isn’t it too early?”—ask researchers, parents, sociologists, and psychologists.

When you are ten years old and British, the law severely restricts your rights. You cannot drink, smoke, vote, or get married. You cannot even get a dog or a cat on your own. You are under-age.

However, when it comes to murder, ten-year-olds are tried as adults. In England and Wales, the age of criminal liability starts at ten.

Can a person at such a young age understand what murder is if he commits it in a state of fervor or passion?

Answer: For this, he must be brought up in a certain style. The upbringing in Britain used to be very serious. Even now, in universities, you can see what bug-eaten benches they sit on and what plates they eat from—these are cracked earthenware plates from 200 years ago. In the morning, they take a bath, and if suddenly the hot water is turned off, they must take a cold bath.

If they raised their children in this way, and especially in the last few years before their 13th birthday (ten years old is too early), then it would be possible to treat a person as an adult from the age of 13 onward.

Question: What does it mean to properly educate children under 13?

Answer: It means explaining to them quite seriously what the responsibility of a person in all aspects of their life means.

I remember that we, as students studying medical biological cybernetics, were taken to the morgue, to the maternity ward, to surgeries, to not very pleasant places. They would open a corpse, show us something, and it all leaves not a very nice impression. A woman gives birth and you see how it all happens. I remember myself at the age of 18 and 19, I was very impressed by this.

Also take them to jails, all this is necessary. And it is after such practical training that you can demand something from a person. All this is not simple.

Remark: There are cases of child abuse by parents, their children are beaten.

Based on such real cases in Britain, a TV series was filmed in which they show the father’s abuse of his sons and his cruel treatment of the mother. In the story, at one point in the evening when their father was drunk and sleeping, the children inflicted multiple stab wounds on him, and then they must be judged.

Researchers are wondering: even outside of the framework of the movie, are children able to take responsibility for their actions in such cases?

Answer: It is hard to say. Neither children nor adults are. Neither children nor adults! It is not a question of age but of what training and education they had received.

Question: Then how can we judge them correctly?

Answer: There is no way to judge them if they are not ready to be judged and judged correctly.

Society is to blame for not giving them proper training, for not educating them in the correct way, for their behaving in this way, and for their father behaving in this way. It is society! We should not blame the parents, and that is what happens.

Society allows such movies, such Internet, such influences on children, and then complains: “How can this be? Let’s ask society. Let’s put society in jail.

Question: At what age can a person be criminally responsible?

Answer: It depends on education! On education! Not on age.

Question: But what does that entail?

Answer: This includes everything. It entails creating a new person! The way we want. The way we think he should be. Society must decide. “Here it is, here is an image of the correct person. We want to make such an image from each and every one.”

And do not think that people will be similar to each other. They will not. We do not standardize people. But regarding their behavior toward each other, their responsibility to society, their parents, and  everyone, they will behave the way we decide. And here everything depends on what we decide. But after that, this will be our responsibility.

And today too, it is our responsibility! How can you hold a ten-year-old child responsible? We show him all sorts of deformities on TV, he sees the hell knows what in the family. How can they act differently? There is no way.

Who should be punished? Those who are responsible for the upbringing are not even the parents. What about these poor parents? What kind of parents can they be? We need to put the ministry of education and upbringing in jail.

Question: You said that we will depict an image of a new person and educate the generation according to this image. Can you show us an image of a new person?

Answer: The image of a new person is very simple. It is someone who understands their personal responsibility for the entire society and lives the life of society. In other words, the main thing is to support society so that it is always in a good state.

That is it. When there is such an atmosphere, everything will be alright.

But this must be monitored! The police, the ministry of education, and the ministry of upbringing should still exist. Upbringing! After all, upbringing is not the same as education.

And everything, starting from kindergartens, should be subordinated to this. Then people will be healthy both mentally and physically.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 12/17/19

Related Material:
Educating A Person
Child Cruelty
Why Do Kids Become Terrorists?

When It Is Useful To Lie

laitman_294.2Remark: Israeli scientists have proven that people lie in order to consider themselves honest, and for others to consider them honest. They even lie to their own detriment.

My Comment: A lie is what a person adds to the information he has in order to somehow embellish, exaggerate, his or someone else’s actions.

Remark: We know that the Torah says: “Get away from lies.” What is the lie it is necessary to get away from and what is the lie that is not necessary to get away from?

My Comment: Truth is a gradual, constantly progressing disclosure of the Creator in our world. And a lie is something that prevents this disclosure.

Remark: Kabbalah says that all qualities, all properties, are needed.

My Comment: In order to use them or not to use them.

Question: And how can a lie be used correctly for human development?

Answer: It allows us to get away from what is called a lie. Or it can be used to help people, on the other hand, with the negative.

There are things that I know and don’t say, and I even lie to others because by doing this I arouse positive qualities in them.

Question: Then could you name the main criterion for the negative quality of the lie and the positive one?

Answer: Only if you act for the benefit of a person outside of you, only in this way will you find the right criterion.

Question: But is there any principle, a person can always relying and never lose?

Answer: Here is this principle: when you act for the benefit of another person, then in the end, in the long run, you will always win. That is, take the truth as a reference and use it, and never take a lie against it. And then you will be moving toward the goal of creation.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 2/4/20

Related Material:
Why People Lie
Lie And Truth, Part 3
Lie And Truth, Part 1

How To Explain To Children That We Have To Change?

laitman_222Question: How can I explain to my grandchildren that we need to change? How can I help them get closer to nature?

Answer: Since nature is integral and leads us to complete adaptation to it, we have no choice but to get closer to nature. We are inside this system. Therefore, they must accept it as a model and be the same—integrally included in it.

Explain that only in this way can we come to a better life. We will be just fine.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 5/10/20

Related Material:
To Survive In This World
At The Red Line
Coronavirus Vaccine

“What To Do With A Rebellious Child”

Dr. Michael LaitmanFrom My Facebook Page Michael Laitman 7/6/20

The first time we were told to stay at home and keep a six-foot distance, we largely obeyed. We didn’t want to catch the virus or put our elderly loved ones at risk. When authorities rolled back the lockdown and said we could go out again, that’s when we lost it. Not everyone, but enough of us to make the virus hit back ferociously.

But now we can’t go back. People’s patience has vanished, their obedience—replaced with defiance. It’s as if people are telling nature, “Catch me if you can!” It can and it will. If not with the coronavirus, then with some other virus, bacteria, or an entirely different disciplinary menace. Once nature has made a statement, it will not let up until we listen, since each statement is the beginning of a new phase in our development as a human society.

The coronavirus is telling us that we should stay apart from one another because we’re harmful to each other. We have been harmful to each other in so many ways, often deliberately, that our society has been falling apart and disintegrating long before the George Floyd protests began. But with COVID-19 spreading faster than ever, racial tensions escalating all over the country, a police force that has been demonized and delegitimized to the point where it has become powerless in many cases, and a rabid elections campaign whose virulence will only peak in a few months, we are seeing the making of a perfect storm that could tumble the most formidable superpower in modern history, and perhaps ever.

The next phase, the one that nature is forcing through the virus, will see a humanity that is much more considerate and caring one. But humanity will determine how fast that phase evolves, and how pleasantly and smoothly it overcomes the current, self-centered humanity we’ve all grown up with.
Any parent knows what to do when his or her child isn’t straightened out after the first admonition: give a second, much harsher one. Since we have been disobedient, this is what we should expect from nature.

But nature has no wish to obliterate humanity; it’ll only hurt us until we learn to treat each other and the planet better. We may challenge nature and throw COVID parties, and we may refuse to wear masks or keep our distance, but it won’t be long before nature grabs us by the ear and sends us to the corner.

Sometimes, when the odds are totally against you, it’s unwise to be a wise guy. Sometimes, the wisest thing to do is simply play along. And in this case, at the end of the game, we will discover that we are the winners and our defiance only delayed our victory.

The Coronavirus And The Family

laitman_623Question: The uncertainty associated with the epidemic and about how long it will last is reflected in the psyche of children and parents. At first everyone was euphoric: we are staying at home, we are uniting, we have a family, everything is wonderful. It took a week, two or three weeks, to a month to become clear that serious quarrels are taking place at home.

How to hold out? You say: “The virus helps us understand the meaning of life.” But people are annoyed, they do not know what to do, they cannot control themselves.

Answer: We are going through a reprogramming of our attitude toward ourselves and the world. The person in us is changing. There was a person like that in me, and now he is slowly being replaced by a different one in the way I will perceive the world, the way I will think, conceive, what I will remember, and what I will subdue in myself and so on. That is, everything is changing.

This is what is happening to all of us; we all are participating in it. We need to explain all of this.

Question: Do you think people will listen when they are in such a state?

Answer: They will hear precisely because they are in such a state. Because it is all very important to them. Of course, they will hear!

Question: We have to say: “Look, the epidemic will not end tomorrow. But you have to make peace in this world of yours. How do you do it?” How can they make at least relative peace at home between parents and two or three children?

Answer: We need to constantly play among ourselves in the future world.

You will not see what is simply happening to us, but what opportunities it is giving us. It turns out that it needs our cooperation, our partnership. This is where we should be.

I would even say, we should be in clearer reciprocity, which is more internal, sincere, spiritual, desirable, in feelings, in thoughts, in everything, in reciprocity between us and the program that is currently working on us so that even before it starts to twist and change us, we ourselves would like to feel it and change with it.

Question: As a parent that feels we are being pushed together, how should I deploy this program? What should I understand?

Answer: You should be kind to each other and try to reveal this program between us. It will be gradually revealed between us, and we will treat it more and more kindly, openly, affably. We will wish that it will enter us. And it will lead us to the correct interaction between us. We will become friendly until we love each other.

Question: If I start talking with this program, then I don’t resist?

Answer: Yes, of course! You will reveal the Creator in it.

Comment: But people do not understand this.

My Response: And I will explain it to them! What kind of force is changing us today and turning all of humanity upside down? What is this little program?

The internal force in this program is the upper force of nature because it is manifested specifically in man, and man is still the highest stage of the development of nature. It changes him and is directed precisely at him.

Question: How can we change this relationship? Give us some advice.

Answer: The sooner we get to the integral interaction of all parts of nature, the inanimate, vegetative, animate, and most importantly, human, the sooner we come to the conclusion that this is an integral system of interaction, mutual support, etc., the faster we will get to the state of happiness, fulfillment, eternity! Not mortification, as it is today, but eternity and perfection. All this will be awakening between

us. We will see it in front of us.

The virus is bringing us liberation from our egoism! If we wish it, of course.

Question: What is a good attitude?

Answer: To be in absolute interaction. Parents, children, grandparents, and so on. We all are the same elements of the single system. This is the first thing.

The second one is, pets are a must! You treat them in such a way that they feel your attitude to them and feel their attitude to you: what you demand from them so that this is all built on interaction. Do not treat them as animals, and do not treat them as equal to you. You must treat them as elements of the creation, from which you demand a correct, reasonable response.

Question: How should I treat children?

Answer: The same is true about children. Children are actually adults who simply have a much more limited understanding of the world around them. But to the extent that they understand it, they are obliged to reasonably participate in it. And you have to explain it to them, to treat them like that, and they will understand it.

You correct yourself and your soul by the way you treat children and household members.

Question: How should one treat one’s wife or one’s husband?

Answer: In exactly the same way as oneself! That is, the most important thing is that you support each other in your mutual actions, in understanding what is happening to you.

Question: What are my concessions regarding the other, so as not to suppress him, but to comply with him?

Answer: I annul myself in order to be the correct element in the system of the universe. I have a reasonable attitude to everything.

Question: Because we are inside the system and must correspond to it?

Answer: Yes. The integral system of nature should reveal before us, inside us, around us, more and more in our sensations, and in it we will see this huge program called “the Creator.”

We are in one system, in one world, in one globe, in one sphere. Inside this sphere everyone is equal; everyone is interconnected; everyone is friendly; everyone is connected by the feelings of mutual love, concessions, and mutual assistance. Nobody thinks about himself, but thinks only about others.

This is the law of the interconnected integral system of the world. We will necessarily get to it. But the sooner we get to it, the sooner we will understand what nature, the Creator, demands from us, and we will really discover a wonderful future.

Question: Is this what the virus wants from us? Is it launched into the world by this system?

Answer: Yes, of course. Where else does it come from? It has existed in it, we just have not been able to discern it. By our creepy behavior, we eventually squeezed it out of there. And now it appears from the opposite side.

Question: It is saying: “Come back home. Stop wandering around”?

Answer: Of course.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 4/6/20

Related Material:
Who Is Happy During The Coronavirus Pandemic?
The Coronavirus Identifies Social Problems
Victory Over Humanity

“Capitalism Is Kaput, What’s Next?” (Newsmax)

My article in Newsmax: “Capitalism Is Kaput, What’s Next?

Capitalism has been dying for a long time but we didn’t know it. We thought we were practicing it; we thought it was the most advanced economic system humankind has ever conceived, while in fact, it has long been kaput or as Webster’s Dictionary defines it, “utterly finished, defeated, destroyed, unable to function.” Indeed, capitalism has been destroyed by the very force on which it intended to capitalize: the human ego.

When it first dawned on humanity, capitalism was the right thing at the right time. It facilitated progress, healthy competition and in many cases, a chance to build a good life based on one’s willingness to work hard. But for the past several decades, the link between labor and income has been shattered and crushed, replaced by financial wizardry and exploitation of financial power for political gain and vice-versa. And just to demonstrate the disconnect, ask yourself this: If every industry and every service in the country is breaking record lows right now, how come Wall Street is breaking record highs? This is what a shattered link between labor and income looks like. Very few gain from it.

Now, thanks to the coronavirus, it is becoming evident that capitalism has run its course. I believe that the tide in stocks we have seen after the initial drop when COVID-19 first struck is the swan song of capitalism. Like the sudden apparent recovery of a dying man before the final collapse, Wall Street is currently celebrating. But it will be short lived. Very soon, it will begin its final decline. It may be a longer process or a shorter one, but either way, capitalism has run its course.

To me, the more troubling question is “What’s next?” Because if we are not careful, the signs are pointing to a new dark era. Radical forces are becoming increasingly brazen and seek to overthrow democracy and capitalism and install totalitarianism. It may take the form of communism, fascism or Nazism, but whichever it is, it will not benefit the regular folk.

Yet, this will happen only if we stay idle. It is evident to everyone that the world today is an integral system whose parts are all interconnected. Everything that each of us does affects all of humanity. In such a system, caring only for ourselves is a prerogative we cannot afford. We must develop a more inclusive thinking where we calculate our actions according to the benefit of our communities, cities, countries and eventually the world, instead of only our own. If we are aware of this then we have no excuse to sit by and let events develop on their own. We need to spread the word that we are all responsible for one another.

The violent struggles we are seeing now are counterproductive to the cause of mutual responsibility since they only increase hatred and separation. Being interconnected and interdependent means we care for one another. And just as I wouldn’t act violently toward a member of my family with whom I disagree, so I must avoid violence toward others, on whom I rely, even if I do not like them for whatever reason.

I am not endorsing socialism and certainly not communism of any sort. Nor do I have a particular political affiliation. My interest is the well-being of humanity. Accordingly, I am endorsing caring, mutual consideration and mutual responsibility.

The resulting economic system after the demise of capitalism will be something we have never tried before, since we have never cared for one another unless they were family (and even then, not always.) There is no clear outline to this new economy, since we have yet to begin to care for one another, but as soon as we start caring, we will know what we should do.

It is a bit like a first-time mother. Until she has her first child, she has no idea how to be a mother. But as soon as the child is born, she suddenly knows. She feels what she should do because her love guides her motherhood.

The same is true for a society that is based on caring. Until we begin to build it, we will not know what it should be like. But once we take our first step, the knowledge will come through our care for one another.

It is possible and it is urgent. If we wait, the radical, totalitarian forces will gain too much traction and set society off on the complete opposite track.

“What Declining Birth Rates Mean To Humanity” (Medium)

Medium published my new article “What Declining Birth Rates Mean to Humanity

Is it right to bring more children to this world now? This is a question that seems more relevant than ever in these days when economic, social, and environmental uncertainty are making women think twice about motherhood. The number of births in the United States hit the lowest levels yet during the last three decades, according to an official recently released study of 2019. It is expected that the distress caused by the coronavirus pandemic will lower those record-breaking statistics even more. But beyond the numbers, our main concern should be how to improve the quality of life for the world’s population, the quality of our relations for the benefit of society.

“As humanity evolves, people are becoming increasingly reluctant to have children because people’s egos are growing, producing a self-centered approach toward all aspects of life.”

The fertility rate per woman needed to replace a generation is 2.1 children, a level that is not currently met, according to a recent report by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The preliminary study found that on average, women in America are expected to bear only 1.71 children. It also reveals that the total number of births fell to about 3.7 million last year, nearly 1% less than in 2018.

The baby boom predicted as a result of the COVID-19 lockdown will not materialize. Quite the opposite: Birth control requests in America have nearly doubled due to the virus outbreak. As a result of the soaring unemployment and economic pressure, economists expect to see approximately 500,000 fewer births in America next year.

Today’s society does not cultivate a desire to have children. As humanity evolves, people are becoming increasingly reluctant to have children because people’s egos are growing, producing a self-centered approach toward all aspects of life. The ego grows day by day, generation after generation, and makes people focus more and more on pleasing themselves, to the point that today many young people do not even want to marry. Couples have developed a new approach to life, centered around self-fulfillment, and many question why they should lose their freedom and tie themselves to fulfilling the needs of children.

At the same time, medical advancements have given us the sensation of control over births. Women can now choose whether they want children or not, when and how, depending on their careers or life priorities. They are even able to choose the baby’s gender prior to conception. From the naive couple of past society with very little knowledge about pregnancy and childbirth, we have transformed into a society of well-planned and carefully-calculated childbirth.

The sharp decline in fertility rates has swept through many countries as a global trend, as studies confirm. But this is not necessarily a negative situation. One may ask, “Since we already have a worldwide population of 8 billion, why do we need to increase it? What for?

In fact, a person needs meaning, a higher purpose than just living. What does fertility give to a person? Every person’s life on earth is purposeful. Every human being is meant to correct his egoistic nature. This goal can be attained through the gradual process of connecting with others, until a new humanity is born, a humanity based on mutual responsibility and unity.

What the world needs now is a qualitative change not a quantitative one. A society in which every person rises above his egoistic nature and aims at benefitting his surrounding environment does not require billions of people. This epitomizes a qualitative change instead of a quantitative one.

Concern about how to educate our children and not the number of births is what should occupy our minds.

When we educate our children to love others, toward the purpose of life, toward discovering the correct connection between people, this will be the time to bring as many children into the world as possible. In a global and integral system, each child brings tremendous benefit to the development of all of humanity.
Photo by Ben Mullins on Unsplash

Rental Family

laitman_926.02Remark: In Japan, they rent children, husbands, and wives, and now whole families are being rented out. A man goes to an agency and orders a family. He can choose people of a certain physique, personality, character, etc.

This is a serious psychological work. As a rule, a person needs attention.

We say that in the 21st century, the family is not the most important thing in life for a person.

My Comment: No, not that the family is not important, it is not important to be formally registered and obligated according to some kind of registration. A man still wants to be connected internally. He must feel attracted so that even a duty is pleasant to him as is usually the case with children.

As our egoism is constantly evolving, it all must go through our desires. That is, I want to be obligated, I want to take care, I want it to attract me, to somehow connect, to be involved in some way, just like when people play different games and they tie or even beat and threaten each other.

That is, you feel dependency, duty, and along with it, attachment. This is what a person lacks today because we do not know how to play with our egoism.

Question: So maybe we should stop there and let everyone always rent a family.

Answer: And how does a modern family live today?

Remark: In the case of a rental family, we know that there is a certain distance between people and that it is sort of a game.

My Comment: No, it depends on the agreement. I think there is nothing special here.

Of course, the Japanese have ancient traditions: geishas who really supported the psychological atmosphere, conversation, participation, games, music, etc. That is, this is what a person lacked. TV today cannot replace this.

This requires even more insight because our egoism develops, and it begins to see its finiteness, viciousness, and limitation. I actually want such sensations that you cannot just give to another or another give to you. Therefore, this is a very interesting arrangement.

Question: What is a family? A standard to which a person internally aspires?

Answer: Family is a clear, internal concern for each other, where you feel that your happiness lies in ensuring that you provide the happiness of another. This is family.

And it can be some other people, your little dog, or even get a crocodile at home, no matter who or what. The main thing is that you feel that you enjoy that you are fulfilling someone.

Question: Maybe it is normal that now marriages occur between same-sex people?

Answer: I do not know what to call it: marriage or not marriage. This is all very arbitrary. Most importantly, a person feels enjoyment in taking care of someone.

Giving to another turns into one’s own fulfillment. And that is why there are so many pets and various clubs where people somehow interact and do something.

It is true that this goes beyond simple sex since it does not fulfill a person. Even if it lasts for quite some time, many times a day, he begins to feel that, in general, this does not fulfill him.

Question: Is there a difference: a family for a woman and a family for a man? Why is family important for a man?

Answer: For a woman, physical attachment, belonging to someone is more important. For a man, spiritual affiliation is more important—more like spiritual concern for another.

A woman sees her realization in physically caring for a man. A man sees his realization in spiritual care for a woman.

It is hard for me to explain this because this, in principle, does not sound like it really is.

Question: How can spiritual care be implemented in a rental family?

Answer: And what does it mean to rent or not to rent? When we get married, don’t we rent ourselves out? Do we not sell ourselves for a certain price?

I give, you take; you give, I take. And all this is built on explicit laws that can be clearly arranged. Yes, there is a huge range of human feelings inside! But, in principle, everything is very simple.

Question: You once said that if a woman loses her family or a husband for various reasons, she still can live to a very old age, support herself, and it is much more difficult for a man to do this. Why?

Answer: A woman is organized in such a way that within the framework of this world she settles in well, oddly enough. It would seem: how is it possible without a man?! But actually, it is the opposite. A man without a woman is as if homeless.

A woman, according to Kabbalah, is called “home.” Not a man but a woman, because it is in her nature to create a house, a family, a place, walls, roof. And a man, if he has no one to do it for, he will not do it for himself.

Remark: It is like a tree without roots. The man is a tree and the woman is the roots.

In many couples, when someone is invited to be a temporary partner, a person starts having feelings for this partner.

My Comment: Naturally. Even more! It is precisely because they are not mutually connected, not obliged. Today, a partner with whom I have lived for many months and maybe coexisted together even longer can say: “Do you know that we have ended our contract today?” That sounds awful! And it seems that this is the end of life, the end of the world! How could it be?! I forgot that we had a contract. I forgot that I am playing! I forgot that they are playing with me! And that’s it.

And tomorrow morning, she will pick up her suitcase and calmly leave because in a couple of hours she has another contract, another family. And I am left alone and did not even think about my future. How can I disconnect from what I have now? It is very interesting.

Question: Maybe it is worth creating a contractual relationship so that then people can build a family? So that the contract does not end?

Answer: I think that as soon as they change the contract for marriages, this will be the end of it.

Therefore, the best thing in this state is to say: “The contract has ended. If you want us to stay together, we will have to live like real husband and wife with all the responsibilities. So, you have time to think about it until tomorrow.”

Remark: But it often turns into a drama because one person gets used to this relationship and for the other it remains a job. People actually get used to sympathy, to affection.

My Comment: For sure they get used to it. We see this even in actors who play certain roles. They cannot help but get used to them and continue to play in life just like on stage.

Remark: This is how such dramas turn out when you enter this relationship.

My Comment: But this is professionalism, there is nothing you can do about it.

Question: What kind of a family will we have in future? Rental families?

Answer: In principle, I think that humanity will go as far as to use, roughly speaking, each other’s services to achieve a higher level than the family unit or friendship, and will use this to achieve a higher level of mutual interactions.

That is, it will be the interaction of people who want to reach the next, spiritual level. They will connect with each other in order to help one another psychologically and spiritually so that each of them, through the other, can also attain a connection with a higher cause.

Question: Is it possible to turn this wonderful future into today, to try to implement it in the environment now?

Answer: I do not think that there is a need for such connections today. Maybe with the younger generations. It is not brewing because they are not yet engaged in real spiritual practices. So, I do not see it.

But it is slowly approaching. Maybe we will still see such families that emerge in order to complement each other and to reveal the Creator among themselves.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 1/28/20

Related Material:
Family And Marriage, Part 8
Will The Family Institution Survive?
The Family Revolution

Who Is Happy During The Coronavirus Pandemic?

627.2Question: The era of the coronavirus is turbulent, tragic, and dramatic. And still there are people who are happy. They are children! Little children who ended up at home with their parents. They do what they want.

Can we say that this is all happening for a good reason? We are shown an island of happiness. For what purpose? What do we need to understand?

Answer: That it is good to be a small child. 🙂

Question: Can we look at these children and begin to adopt the happiness that they radiate?

Answer: Children exist at the level of their initial natural egoism. This is not considered egoism. They do not wish evil to others. They do not have all kinds of plans to harm, to gain at the expense of others: the worse the other person feels, the better for me, which subconsciously exists in us. But children do not have this, and therefore, the virus is not a threat for them.

Question: So the virus is not a threat for anyone who, let us say, has childish thinking?

Answer: It is not childish. It is initial, natural, egotistically limited thinking.

Comment: If we reach such a state that we can live and think this way, without wanting to harm another person, then what will happen?

My Response: If we would keep only this level of egoism in ourselves, and remove all other social egoistic levels where we are connected with each other, which are money, fame, power and are already related to the adult world, then, of course, we would not fear any virus.

Question: So we now have a cure, an antidote?

Answer: No, it is not easy. How can we get rid of social egoism, harming each other, if we are constantly thinking about it and perceiving ourselves in it? We compare ourselves with others so that no one does better than me, so that I always feel that I am lucky, essential, special, etc. This is what exists in every person and subconsciously needs to be resolved.

Question: And we can’t get out of this?

Answer: It is possible, but not by ourselves. Only with the help of the upper light if we are in the correct society and draw upon ourselves a special upper force. Upper, because it is the force of bestowal, the force of love, the force of attraction of people above our egoism. That is why it is called the upper force.

And then we will be interconnected like little children who want to play with each other—they play, but do not seek to harm. They do not have this yet. And then, closer to the age of ten, it begins. By the age of fifteen, they are generally complete egoists. They already think about how to be better than others, and how to make others feel worse than them. Look at how they behave in school.

Comment: You are always talking about the upper light, which alone can change us. We are egoists, and at the earthly level we cannot do anything, no matter how much we want to—not politicians nor psychologists, no one. Only the light that we can draw upon ourselves.

No one understands what it means, but you keep talking about it.

My Response: Was it clear about the virus?

Now it will be clear. We will study it, we have no other choice. By studying such viruses, we will slowly begin to sort out what is good and what is bad. And in this way we will get to the light.

Question: Can you explain what the upper light is and how to attract it?

Answer: It is very simple. There is a negative force and there is a positive force in nature. And they are absolutely equivalent.

A negative force, the so-called egoistic force, is aroused in us, so that we demand awakening a positive force parallel to it, an altruistic one, in us, and that these two forces, egoistic and altruistic, are balanced in us.

And now try to understand what the virus gives us! How it moves us toward this balance! It says very simply: “Lock yourself at home, stay busy with yourself, do not rush to communicate with others. You do not know how to do this, let us study it step by step. Here is a positive force, here is a negative force, and so we will work.”

Question: Does negative force mean egoism?

Answer: Yes. Egoism is a negative force. This is what it is considered with us. But regarding the Creator, there is neither a negative nor positive force. After all, they both come from Him.

Question: What are these positive and negative forces, where do you get them from?

Answer: But do they exist between us or not?! I want to use you, this is a negative force. And on the contrary, I think and care about you, this is a positive force.

It is only about the attitude of a man to a man. If I think about how to rise above the other, this is a negative force, and if I think about how to raise the other, this is a positive force.

Question: I understand what it means to rise above the other person, but can I raise the other person or not?

Answer: No, you cannot. From where would you get this urge?

Question: So only the upper light that I draw upon myself can develop this urge?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: How can I draw the upper light?

My Response: Only if you work in a group.

This is why we have been given a group. Look at our friends, envy them from our egoism, want to be no lower than them, and so on; by this we help each other begin to rise in bestowal, in help.

Question: Suppose a simple person is sitting at home and thinking about his life, and he begins to understand that he wants to achieve such a state. Can he do it?

Answer: Step by step. Start communicating via phone, video, and Internet. And then the opportunity will come to communicate directly, not even at a distance of two meters. And then you will get the feeling that you are in one body, without any barriers. This is already a complete cure for the virus. And then there will be one crown over you.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 3/30/20

Related Material:
Why Is The Coronavirus Sparing Children?
Antibodies Against Egoism
How Can We Draw The Upper Light?