Entries in the 'Children' Category

How To Overcome Shame

294.2Comment: On the second Israeli TV channel there was a story about a charity canteen that opened in Tel Aviv.

The number of their clients increased by almost 70%. These are new people who come there for a free lunch. And these people feel very uncomfortable. They are the former waiters, former El Al flight attendants, a real mix of different kinds of people. There are a lot of young people, boys and girls. They do not look up so as not to see each other. They come up, get lunch, and carefully ask: “How much does it cost?” They learn that it costs nothing and step aside.

The feeling of shame was conveyed very strongly.

My Response: Shame is the most burning feeling. Stronger than any pain. Even sometimes stronger than death.

Question: Do you need to rise above this feeling when you go to such a place?

Answer: The point is that either you want to justify this feeling of shame: “I don’t care, everything is so, and I am like that,” and so on. That is, you can somehow chat about it at the everyday level, at the level of our world.

But, in principle, this is the most terrible feeling. Because the feeling of shame is actually a feeling of annulling a person in you. That is, you are really nothing and nobody.

We do not even understand to what extent we must remove what is called “I” from ourselves and leave only the animal shell from this. And the animal is not ashamed.

It is, of course, very difficult. And I do not think that humanity will correct itself based on this, although this is the most serious level of correction. I think that after all, we will reveal the path of light to people and not the path of suffering.

Question: Is this the path of real suffering?

Answer: This is the path of real suffering, because in fact, if a person is brought to a very serious feeling of shame, he will only pray to die. “Why did I live to see this ?!” I would like to just cease to exist.

Question: What do we do with this state?

Answer: We only need to reveal our purpose, that this is the highest governance, the system is so arranged and it causes such feelings of shame in us so that we rise above our “I,” so they would not annul it, but rise above it.

Question: Can you say how to rise above my “I,” which cries out, is ashamed, as it is said: “Death is better than this kind of life”? How do we rise above this “I,” above this shame?

Answer: With a good attitude toward people. This shame is designed to make us lose our temper.

Question: Then tell me, how can I not be ashamed? In difficult situations, what should I do?

Answer: You cannot be ashamed only in two cases: either you lose your human appearance and become an animal, that is: “Oh, I don’t care! I don’t care about anything!” In general, when you sort of annihilate everything that is outside of you. When you annul society, the whole environment, then you have no shame. You cancel it, so what are you ashamed of?

Or, when you annul yourself in relation to society and say: “I am worth nothing. I am ready to do everything for the sake of society, to belong to the society in everything! My “I” is nothing, only “we” exist!” And then shame also disappears.
This second option is preferable. But there are also higher ones.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/2/20

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Life Is A Game

610.2Question: In childhood, playing is the most normal state of growth. And we help children with this: we give them construction kits, puzzles, and suggest all kinds of games. The children play and develop.

Then games slowly disappear from life. I wanted to ask you: what about adults? Should we have games in our lives?

Answer: We must continue to play throughout our lives. If a person does not play, he does not grow, even at 30, at 40, at 50.

Comment: But I have grown up, I am already an adult. I acquired knowledge, a profession.

My Response: So, this is also a game because you are playing someone else, who you want to be. And when a person stops playing, he simply serves his body. He starts to turn back from the level of man to the level of an animal. And this is where a person’s life ends. For some years he will still live in the form of an animal serving his body. And that is all.

Question: Why do people think that playing is a child’s thing? When a person says that he is playing, he is talking about something invented.

Answer: Of course, an invention. I make it up. What does it mean to dare? It is playing something bigger, greater; all of this is aspiration, impulses. Like children, at whatever they play, they want to get better. Our game should be natural as well, but we have lost it.

In adolescence, a person is already given everything, does not require anything, and he stops playing.

Question: So this is the basis of all depressions, drugs, and so on? People stop playing?

Answer: Life does not force one to play.

Question: Should life force you to play?

Answer: “What is our life? A game!” Just a different one!

I really check myself and evaluate: Is there any desire in me to stand still? I would like at the last minute to aspire—pump! And that is all. It is all good.

Question: In this year of the pandemic, is the game a way out of the state humanity is in now? It is at a dead end, in reflection.

Answer: Of course. We must play the state that we wish to achieve. As Kozma Prutkov said: “If you want to be happy, be so.” This is very true.

Question: What game should we play now? Now, in this foggy time?

Answer: We must play at friendship and love. What else is there in a person? When this disappears, life no longer has taste.

Question: So this is the main game? All the time?

Answer: Of course. Flirting with life.

Question: And when you say “friendship and love,” is it to one another, to someone close, distant, to the world? You put everything there?

Answer:  Of course, that is all. There should be movement.

Question: But if this is a game and I internally understand that I do not treat another that way?

Answer: It doesn’t matter. Even if I do it on purpose, I may not initially treat him that way, and then I create.

Question: I create this game world: I do not treat him that way, but I want to love him all the time, I want to be friends with him. And then this world appears at this level. Am I entering it? Does it happen?

Answer: What you want to happen will happen.

Question: Is our main game the game of friendship and love?

Answer: Yes. Let’s not call it friendship and love. It is too childish. Only good connections between us, mutual assistance, feeling the need for good relations can lead us to a new world. Otherwise, there is nothing.

The new world is a new society where I will increasingly feel that my physical and mental health depends on everyone around me and theirs on mine. And we are constantly so much included in each other that it is impossible to tear one apart from the other.

I must realize that there is such a law of nature, a very strict law, that my attitude toward others determines their attitude toward me. This is so strange for us. But if we really try, then of course, we will gradually see that the world depends only on our attitude toward it and it will change for the better. That is, you design your world.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/4/21

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The World Needs Lazy People

564In the News (The Guardian): “A German university is offering ‘idleness grants’ to applicants who are seriously committed to doing sweet nothing.

“The University of Fine Arts in Hamburg advertised three €1,600 scholarship places… . The applicants … will have to convince a jury that their chosen area of ‘active inactivity’ is particularly impressive or relevant.

“The application form consists of only four questions: What do you not want to do? For how long do you not want to do it? Why is it important not to do this thing in particular? Why are you the right person not to do it? …

“The idea behind the project arose from a discussion about the seeming contradiction of a society that promotes sustainability while simultaneously valuing success, Von Borries said. ‘This scholarship programme is not a joke but an experiment with serious intentions – how can you turn a society that is structured around achievements and accomplishments on its head?’ …

“All applications will form part of an exhibition named The School of Inconsequentiality: Towards A Better Life… . It will be structured around the question: ‘What can I refrain from so that my life has fewer negative consequences on the lives of others?'”

My Comment: Being lazy is not easy. In fact, it’s not a simple task. A person who can feel free, unencumbered by any obligations is first of all a creative person.

Usually, such people tend to be creative. Where did science, art, music, and visual arts come from? From the type of people who never had to do anything in their lives, the aristocrats.

Question: They didn’t have to go to work?

Answer: No. They met, traveled, and talked. They held balls, engaged in all kinds of musical activities, and so on. This gave rise to science, art, and everything out there except physical labor.

Therefore, if we want people to have the right attitude to a person’s spiritual pursuits, the spiritual quest in this world I mean, then we must give them time to do this, provide for them so that they won’t have to work 15 hours a day like those poor programmers and many, many others do.

On the contrary, we need to make sure they have free time. So that they would travel, discuss things, sit and talk, so they can be like the aristocrats were. We don’t need to be aristocrats, with millions behind us, but we do need to feel that we have a secure income and can afford not quite to be lazy, but not to have to work. This is the only way to create special works of art, literature, and music.

This should be a person’s attitude to the world. Otherwise, nothing will come of it. See what is going on in our times!

If people relate to the world this way and organize themselves in this manner, provide for special people who can create a reasonable standard of living, we will see a great benefit from this so-called “doing nothing.”

These creative people should be like the landowners, nobles, who once had a guaranteed income.

Question: Does the world need them? The world says: “They’re idlers.”

Answer: The world can’t do without them. They give the world exactly the right attitude to life, to creation, to the Creator, to everything. They conduct themselves correctly. That is, they have time for everything. A creative person should not feel pressure from the outside, only from the inside, if it arises.

Question: And what is your attitude to laziness?

Answer: Laziness is the most useful quality in a person. It is due to the fact that one does not want to be lazy that he does a thousand different, completely unnecessary things. Therefore, it is written in the Torah, “Sit and do nothing.” It is better than running around and looking for something to do. And this is actually true.

In order to find the right attitude to life, you have to be lazy. To do nothing extraneous, nothing unnecessary. Only when you really feel: “I have to do this,” then do it. And you will feel in it how life forces you, the Creator is there inside and He demands it from you.

Comment: You have raised the word “laziness” almost to the level of the most hard-working person.

My Response: Yes, it would be better if we did it this way. Why do we need all the things that we have created? Just look at this world!

And now the Creator must use the help of all sorts of pandemics to clean up this mess, to clean out these stables.

Question: What meaning did you just put into the word “laziness”?

Answer: Stop recklessly, thoughtlessly “creating” something. Stop all this, sit down. It will pass. This is better. Let nature, let the Creator, let everything around you develop. If it is necessary, you will see that it is necessary and you will get up and do it. But only to the extent that it is really necessary, not for your inner egoism, but for the whole of human society.

It is very important. Because we live in the animal kingdom, and the animal does only what it needs. This is their instinct. And if not, then they lie, sit, walk, communicate. Actually.

And we’re running around like ants all the time. Well, I hope we’ll get better!
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/26/20

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Where Should We Have Equality?

268.02We are all created differently by nature; there is no need to neutralize, erase, or destroy these differences or consider them bad, unnecessary, or completely useless. On the contrary, we should highlight all the differences between us as much as possible and make them more prominent.

Where should equality be? In making sure that each person does as much as possible at every moment to benefit the whole society.

Comment: But even here we are not equal. You can do more, I can do less.

My Response: But if I do everything within my power and you do everything within yours, then we are equal relative to our unique abilities. You are made this way, I am made that way. So I do as much as I can, and you do as much as you can. One is smart, the other is strong.

Question: And who can determine this?

Answer: No one can. We must be taught to have a correct understanding of nature. Then we will evaluate a person not according to his contribution to society, because some can do more and others can do less in different quantity and quality, but by how much one applies himself given his specific circumstances.

Comment: Nevertheless, a person should have equal opportunities. You talk about upbringing, but not all are the same.

My Response: That is another matter. We should provide everyone not the same but suitable education and upbringing.

From the point of view of nature, a person must be provided with the optimal opportunities he or she needs for correct development in society so that society receives from the person the maximum one can give for its benefit. This is what equal opportunity means.

Question: And who determines what is good for society?

Answer: Society itself and the educational system. It is all depends on education. It should be such that it compels one to feel the need to do everything one can for society. When, ideally, all members of society feel this way, then we can talk about their equality.
From KabTV’s “Spiritual States” 4/29/19

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To Not Feel A Lack Of Anything

294.4Question: According to the recent research of physiologists, the level of family well-being in the first five years of life can determine the entire future fate of a person. For example, people who grew up in poor families have a high level of cortisol in the body, a stress hormone that makes a person more cautious.

People who grew up in wealthy families have a thickened cortex in the parietal and temporal areas, which are responsible for visual perception and long-term memory. It is directly connected to a person’s high level of achievement.

Well provided for children are less likely to be self-sacrificing and altruistic. They share money less eagerly with others. And it is the other way around for children who grew up in poverty who are more inclined toward altruism, eager to share, to sacrifice.

What affects the fact that a person attracts or repels money, his earnings?

Answer: If we are talking about human nature, of course, it is strictly individual. Does someone have compassion for his close ones or not? Did he see it in his parents or was he taught? It all depends on a person plus the environment.

But, on the other hand, if he gets into a certain environment, it can be instilled in him. There they prove to him that the state of empathy corrects him, makes him a completely different being.

Question: Is the key to everything to feel the one who is near you. This feeling must be developed. What suggestion can be given to a person so he always feels provided for?

Answer: A person is a product of society. He must be in a certain society that will educate him in this way.

Question: What advice can be given to the whole of humanity in order to feel that there is no lack of anything?

Answer: Show each other an example of how you wish well for everyone.
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 1/12/21

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The Tragedy Of Young Talents

962.2Question: From early childhood, questions like “Who is the best?” start to catch our attention. There are many TV shows where an adult celebrity talks with a young three- year-old child who must show how smart he is, how well he plays, or how nicely he speaks. The children sing and the parents standing behind the scenes welling up in tears.

They subscribe to the philosophy of competing and winning makes life complete, vibrant, and meaningful; it starts at a young age. What are your thoughts about it?

Answer: I’m strongly against it. After all, nothing can ensure our happy future except the right attitude toward connection between us. If  only these contests were conducted in order to show how getting closer to each other elevates people, makes them better and purer, and how much happiness it brings!

Whatever you may say, there were some good character-building examples in the Soviet Union. It is good to cultivate mutual help, connection, and support in people. This is where we need to direct a child constantly, even though it is completely against man’s ego, against our nature.

Although there were still gangs, rapists, murderers, and so on, all the same, in propagating the virtues of kindness, mutual assistance, love, and selflessness, in this regard, Russia was in some ways ahead of the entire planet.

Comment: However, I must say that the lives of these young talents who sing like Robertino Loretti, who were leading the pack at a young age, had very hard fates, not only in the Soviet Union, but across the world.

My Response: Well, they were promised so much! What they imagined their future to be! They are just children, they don’t understand how this all may come to an end and what it will be like afterward. When their voices disappear and they’re no longer popular, the audience no longer worships them as some kind of idol, that’s it!

Comment: Only a few have more or less a good fate. The rest of these young talents end up being consumed in this fire.

My Response: Indeed. And what’s worse, you end up boosting the child’s ego. It is not about whether or not he can be successful later in life with his talent. The problem is that he no longer receives the response from others that he used to receive.

He was developed to the point of believing that he will be receiving millions of times more each and every time. Suddenly it all starts to subside and the poor kid doesn’t know where to turn to or what to do.

Comment: I’d love to convey all of this to those parents who put their kids up on these stages with such joy.

My Response: It’s all great if you don’t know the tragedy awaiting each of these children once their talent is left without due response, without applause, once he or she is no longer popular.

Question: What conclusions can we draw from all of this? That these shows should be replaced by a different kind?

Answer: Of course. Transform them into being about giving to others. Only in bestowal can we find higher and higher states, when one demands more and more of himself without any possible return.

Comment: That would be amazing!

My Response: It is possible to show that. We can develop it further. We can promote it. What one would take out of it is less important. At least these examples will stay. Then one would not be left with nothing.

Question: So you support such a cinematic illusion to go on?

Answer: Yes, of course.

Comment: But now there is “reality television.” About life and truth!

My Response: It is egoistic truth. It is still a lie. It is finite. It leads to tragedies. But not here. You are shown the truth, and with your nature you begin to understand that you can’t quite implement this truth. What you are seeing are ideals. And these ideals are necessary.

Comment: So you’re against showing the ugly side of truth, of letting the garbage out under the banner of “reality TV”?

My Response: No. This would never aim a person in the right direction. After all, a person is an egoist. On the contrary, we must play with him the way we do with our kids.

Question: So that he grows through playing with these idealistic, beautiful examples?

Answer: Yes. This is just like a game with a child, how to make adults out of the whole of humanity! All humanity are children! So why wouldn’t you act with them the way you do with your own kids?
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/7/21

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“How Has Pandemic Affected The Education System?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: How has pandemic affected the education system?

The pandemic has shown the ugly face of our education systems.

These systems should have educated our children to become independent and responsible in their learning and knowing of how to positively connect among themselves and with their teachers, as well as willful and responsible participation in their studies through various media.

Unfortunately, we instead see quite the contrary: that these systems fail to prepare children to be independent and responsible. That is why, over the course of the pandemic, we have seen multitudes of children disregard the connection among each other and with their teachers, and many relate to what they study as meaningless and useless. Such an approach has contributed to a general crumbling of the systems.

We should treat this educational crisis that the pandemic revealed in order to revise our education systems. Today, we do not need to raise children to simply fill job positions, several of which we will no longer need. Instead, our education systems should adjust their aims to raise children into happy, successful and confident human beings, in the fullest sense of those terms.

To become truly happy, successful and confident, we need to live in a society where we actively participate in constructing positive connections among each other, above our myriad divisive drives. Accordingly, we should encourage children to participate more and more in society, since social participation and contribution are quickly becoming the most important components in building a society of happy, successful and confident individuals.

Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

How To Raise A Confident Child

962.1Comment: Russian psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky gives five tips to parents for raising a confident child.

First is “Be generous with praise, but praise correctly. Not ‘You’re the best, look how beautiful you are, not like your classmates.’ Your message should be that the child is wonderful because it’s him or her, not because he or she is the best of the best.”

My Response: That’s right. Of course, we should not instill the idea of superiority over others in a child; rather the child should feel that he is worth something on his own, and not that he is better than others. That he should be big, great, confident, kind, and so on.

Question: So you should not compare him with others and not even touch his “I”?

Answer: Yes. Standards should be abstract, not superiority over others.

Comment: I was motivated every time when I was told “Look how cool Sasha is in that class. You can do the same. Come on!” We encourage children this way. What’s wrong with that? I do not understand.

My Response: This turns a person into an egoist. Competitions are good when they make a person better than others for the benefit of others. This type of competition, however, is only for suppressing others.

Question: Do I involuntarily start thinking about suppressing this Sasha?

Answer: Yes. Why should I become better than him? I’d rather belittle him, and that way I won’t have to do anything with myself.

Question: Is this a natural response of egoism?

Answer: Yes. I need to show the child that it is necessary to work on yourself to be better, and do not suppress someone else in order to be above him.

Comment: The second advice is, “If a child committed an offense, do not speak about the child, but about the deed. The act is bad, and the child is good. I hope you have already thrown words like crooked, stupid, and shameless out of your vocabulary.”

Answer: This is a big problem for many parents who roughly point out that the child cannot do anything, that he is worthless; this deprives him of a sense of confidence, security, and inner possibility. It is very important to keep this in a child.

Many of us are guilty of this. We put pressure on the child, tell him, “You’re not worth anything, watch how it should be done. Why can’t you?” and so on. That is, we make him an absolutely insecure little man. He grows up in this way and all his life cannot get rid of this.

Question: But what if he, for example, commits a bad deed?

Answer: Smooth it over. “You did this incorrectly, in the wrong way. Maybe you could not do it differently. See now how it can be done differently.” So that he can learn from it and still have confidence.

Question: That is, not to touch the child and his little “I.” Is the main principle not to touch the “I”?

Answer: Yes. We have people exactly like that living on our planet, without inner confidence, “killed” by their parents, people who have been deprived since childhood. In order to somehow defend themselves, they make problems, wanting to rise at least a little above everyone. However, they don’t know how to do this in order to feel normal.

For this, they must suppress others, destroy others, and so on. If you take anyone who kills, tortures others, runs some gang, you will see why this happened to him.

You will look into his childhood and see how he was disfigured there in the same way.

Comment: The third advice: “Never compare him with anyone, even if the comparison is in his favor. This is the direct path to narcissism. And narcissism is the destruction to the base of self-esteem. That is, self-esteem is destroyed to the ground. The child risks growing up as a person who always compares himself to others and will suffer that someone is better than him.”

My Response: Yes. However, we still need to make sure that the child has an idea of what perfection is. And he must somehow evaluate himself relative to this perfection.

Question: Is it necessary to give the child some kind of standard?

Answer: Yes, but not in relation to others. The standard should not be a person, but a quality.

Question: How can you explain the quality to which he should aspire?

Answer: Once it was done with the help of some gods or great heroes. However, such examples can be in something specific, particular, no more than that.

Question: Should it be a quality? For example, how you used to love then, so we should come to the same love?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: The fourth tip: “Praise the child not for the result, but for the courage and effort, for the fact that he was not afraid and performed, tried by himself in the competition, made an effort, did his best. This will teach him to support himself in the future. And, by the way, it will greatly contribute to his success in adult life.”

My Response: Yes, it is necessary to support the child and inspire him. Regardless of his success, he should feel that you are behind him and confident in him, and do not require anything more from him than just his diligence, effort.

Question: That is, we should not say, “You did well, you got the first place, what a beautiful medal,” right?

Answer: Yes. Do not do that. Absolutely not. It is necessary that he was self-sufficient and happy in his actions.

Comment: But we are proud of medals.

Answer: That is our society, such a narrow, egoistic one that plays all people against each other, raises competition to such levels that a person devotes his whole life and health to this. And what is the result? We see that this does not bring happiness to anyone.

Question: Does it mean that if a child talks about his victory, then the main thing for him should be how much effort he put in, how he trained for this?

Answer: Of course. Otherwise, he will take drugs and win only with their help. This is what egoism turns each of us into.

Comment: This, by the way, is a very accurate comment. All these anabolic steroids, drugs, and everything. It is already impossible to watch sports, everything is clear there. Now there is a problem of how to hide the drug, not how not to take it.

My Response: Yes. The main thing for them is achievement in comparison to others. Except for group sports. Group sports are relatively attractive.

Question: Is it because there is a team victory there?

Answer: Yes. A single “I” is blurred among many others, and in general, the opposition of one to another is not the same as one on one opposition.

Question: What about the fact that some player still stands out? For example, Messi or someone else.

Answer: This is bad. After all, the team won. But still, at least in this way.

Comment: The fifth and most important advice: “You yourself have to have self-confidence. Parents often write to me, ‘I do everything right, praise, support, but the child shows insecurity all the time.’ Of course, each specific case should be analyzed separately, but if you really do everything for the confidence of your child and he has zero self-esteem, this is what is called ‘A wake-up call to the parents.'”

My Response: We still have to show the child in any case our trust in him, our love for him, and that we accept him as he is. The most important thing is not to destroy, not to level his “I,” and not to demand from him any great victories and achievements. Only in this case can you make him a confident, normal person.

Question: Why does a psychologist start this way: “You yourself have to have self-confidence”?

Answer: Because you are trying to embody in the child what you have not achieved yourself.

Question: Won’t it work out even if I play in front of him?

Answer: No.

Question: Do you have self-confidence?

Answer: No. An absolutely confident person is just an idiot, he must be at the level of a stone. However, I am confident that I am not confident, but I can do what I have to believe in.

Comment: This is not easy.

My Response: No one says that this can be achieved. But we should aspire for this. Life is about aspiration.

Comment: In general, this whole path is in uncertainty in the transition to confidence and again uncertainty.

My Response: The whole path is in the uncertainty of whether you relate yourself to the absolute. This is your confidence. So, there is nothing scary here. There is an upper force, you have to know how you can position yourself in relation to it, and then you gain complete confidence. Not in yourself, but in the fact that you are going with Him.

Question: That your compass keeps this direction all the time?

Answer: Of course. Then everything is very simple. You hold on like a little one to the big one’s hand.

Comment: To the teacher.

My Response: Yes.

Question: What if you are constantly shifted to the left or to the right?

Answer: It is on purpose so that you hold on to Him more tightly, so that you can see where you are going with Him and thus learn.

You are shifted relative to Him, and you must hold on tighter and align your path with Him, behind Him. In this way, you learn both from the vicissitudes of fate and from His reaction to that fate.

Question: Is this path by reason or by faith above reason?

Answer: This path is by the adhesion with the upper. He shows you two lines and you have to walk between them.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/3/20

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From “I” To “We”

557Question: Experts from the University of California found that the main indicator of a good and happy relationship is when the couple uses “we” in a conversation.

The use of the word “we” is an indication of closer relations between people, that they are not bound to their egoism in their relationship, and that they intend to develop fruitful cooperation between them.

Humanity has been constantly living in “I,I,I,” and continues to live this way. Have we reached a dead end by this way of speaking?

Answer: No, the usage of “I” is not a dead end because it is my essence. This is what I stand on, where I am moving, what I want to do to improve this world, and this is the reason that I don’t think that it is a negative way to speak. On the contrary, it depends on what I draw toward and connect to this “I.”

Question: What do I need to attach to the “I?”

Answer: I have an opinion, I have power, I have the capability, I have a good attitude toward others, I want to embody all that, and then the “I” is a positive element.

Question: And what is a negative use of the “I?”

Answer: It is the opposite, of course, when I want to dominate others for the sake of my “I.” It is actually the “I” that needs to be very clear to a person.Who is this “I”?

Question: And how does a person advance from the position of the “I”?

Answer: From the “I” we move toward “we,” but “we” exists only and always as the common denominator of our “I” and not in any other way. When I begin to subdue myself before “we,” but I do it and not someone else who tells me “we” in a familiar way, when I subdue myself and say “we,” which means that I am ready to connect with others, knowing that the outcome will be the one common “I,” this is already a different level.

This is already an ascent above the small “I” to the big “I,” which includes the “we” in it.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/4/18

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Why Give Birth To Children In This Horrible World?!

632.1Question: From a letter: “I am full of hatred for the parents who brought me into this world! Why? Did they not see that this world is a garbage heap, that it is not fit for a living?! I do not want to live in it and I cannot leave on my own. I live with constant pain.

Despite this, I am married. But I said to my wife on the first date: “We will not have children.” She agreed. We have been married for five years. My wife asked me to write to you and ask for your opinion. But so you know, my mind is made up.”

That person writes with an unambiguous opinion that he is not going to bring children into this world. But his wife seems to want to. What do we do with all this? Is the world really such that it is scary to bring children here?

Answer: So, what? It is scary, but you bring them. Do the right thing, what a person should do. Do everything for it.

Question: Should I think about children?

Answer: You should think about children, you will think about children. Now you are not thinking about children, you are thinking about yourself.

You have to give birth to the next generation. Because that is the way in nature—look at animals. As for the next generation, we are like animals. Each couple should give birth to a boy and a girl.

Question: Those who have decided that they do not want to, can they be called a family?

Answer: This is the highest egoism, and you cannot call them a family.

A family is a male and female individual who create their own kind.

I say what is written in Kabbalah. Kabbalistic wisdom is higher than our world’s, and it speaks about how it is established by nature. Call it nature or the Creator. We are obliged to reproduce our own kind, and thus we continue ourselves in our descendants.

Question: And for those people who deliberately do not continue themselves in descendants, does something, somehow later respond to them or not?

Answer: Their story ends with them. But a person should strive to continue oneself.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/30/20

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