Entries in the 'Children' Category

“What Are Some Ways To End Child Abuse?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What are some ways to end child abuse?

The ultimate solution to end child abuse is the same solution to end all of our problems in our time: to work on our connections so that they become positive, and that we will prioritize concern for others over self-concern.

If mothers, for instance, came together and connected in order to change society, so that a mutual concern would blossom around children and babies, then this concern would bridge all distances and boundaries. Such a concern would become expressed through these mothers connecting several times a day, and the creation and consumption of programming that they would make on the Internet, the TV, and the radio on the topic, which would raise awareness of what children go through both at schools and in their homes.

If such a concern would spread throughout society, even if only among mothers, then it would change the picture regarding child abuse, as well as several other problems children experience. However, it is currently far from the case. They feel no need to connect in such a way. Each mother cares only about her own children, which is insufficient.

Ending child abuse thus involves generating a supportive environment through sharing the same concern, that all of us together will take care of this common problem, where we will care for other children in addition to our own, and others will do the same. Until we reach such a mutual concern for each other’s children in society, then we will continue seeing more and more unfortunate cases of child abuse.

We need a special force here, a unifying force that will influence society, and unless mothers come together and unite, then this force will elude us.

Based on New Life episode 1147 with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman, Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum-Moshe. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash.

How To Use Your Qualities Correctly?

961.2Question: How does a person use their emotions correctly? How, with their help, does one advance and engage in self-development?

Answer: We can control ourselves and our emotions only through the influence of the right environment.

These are people who are more focused on the true revelation of the world. If you are among them, you can also correctly orient yourself, and thus all your feelings and emotions will come into relative order.

Question: Is there some kind of power that comes from the environment and allows me to manage myself more effectively?

Answer: Yes. It is the power of bestowal and love, of good connection. You can feel it from others.

Question: And negative qualities, such as laziness, envy, jealousy, and arrogance can also be used in some way for the benefit of others and yourself, for your own self-development?

Answer: Sure. They are given to us so that we can make an inverse realization of them, to move from egoism to altruism, to bestowal and love.

Question: How does one imagine envy in an inverse form?

Answer: If I envy others who have more distinct traits of bestowal, love, and connection with others, good mutual assistance, and so on, then this envy plays a huge positive role, and I need to develop it.

If I’m in the company of good people and I don’t envy them, then I don’t use the opportunity given to me to gather the best from them.

Question: And if we take a more complex quality, such as arrogance?

Answer: This is also a good quality. Any quality can be used both for good and bad. If I don’t have arrogance, then I’ll take from everyone what’s in them. And if I am arrogant, that is, I value myself, my ability to make a special person out of myself, then I will only look at the good sides of others.

Comment: In this way, you can inversely evaluate and try to use each quality. Let’s say anger is what drives me to act. I can be angry at myself for not being better than I am.

My Response: Sure. There is nothing evil in nature. All qualities are given to us in order to use them correctly. They all have to be good, it all depends on their application by a person.

Question: So the very definition of “bad quality” is fundamentally wrong?

Answer: Yes. It’s our egoism that drives us to use them.

Question: Can good qualities be bad?

Answer: It depends on the person. A quality cannot be bad in itself.
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From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 4/12/21

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Dancing Conquers Souls

552.03You are asked a question on Instagram:

I am a dancer. I am 31 years old. I work as a coach with children and in the course of my work I came to the conclusion that the main principle for me is not to harm or break the child. Also, the sport of dancing itself is not about dancing, but about what I can teach children for their future life. This is the way I think.

My question is: how can I guide and help them to be able to find themselves in the future? How can I make sure I don’t break or kill the uniqueness with which they come to me? How should I define my task with each child? How should I understand what each child needs me for if they have come to me?

Different types of children come; those who are incredibly talented dancers and those who shouldn’t train at all. Nevertheless, we met each other for a reason, although, perhaps I am mistaken about this. Please help me figure this out. With great respect, Yegor.

Answer: Here is my answer. First, everyone who comes to you is led to you. The upper force leads them; there are no accidents in the world. Therefore, you should value each child, not only because he is especially suited to dancing, but due to the fact that he was led to you.

Your next step is very important. Maybe he will leave you now and will not return again; however, the coming to you and leaving you will also play a certain, possibly big, role  in his life.

You are already becoming a participant in his destiny. Therefore, you must make his imagination of you, of dancing, and of your art remain positive, even though it is fleeting. This is the first thing.

Second, try to give him the impression that dancing forms a person, that a person wants to express himself through dancing.

Dancing is, one might say, the oldest, most stable, and natural expression of oneself. Primitive peoples danced around the fire with each other. Doves whirl with each other and so on. It’s all in the dance. It is not through speech which was created later, but dancing.

That is, dance is an internal expression of the soul’s impulses and aspirations. Therefore, it is a very serious language from within nature, very deep, and the most natural.

Ballet can express any aspirations, desires, and feelings including empathy. There’s no need to say anything. If it’s a real action, then literally any movement of one’s little finger or turn of one’s head means everything!

Dance is a whole science. We know that there is a science of facial expressions and movements. All of this is connected with the nature of man, with one’s place of residence, and so on. This is a very deep conversation that is very far from us today. Today we are blocked from all of this.

Dance is an expression of the soul. This can astonish a person, infect, tie to oneself, drag away, or subdue.

Question: It’s beautiful! Have you ever learned how to dance?

Answer: No. I just understand it. I have some kind of inner yearning that people do not wield it, including me.

A lot can be said about this because there is no layering from all kinds of schools or periods of history. It is actually the language of the soul.

Question: Yegor also asks: “How can one preserve the uniqueness of each child who comes?”

Answer: To do this, you need to be a very serious teacher and only take a couple of students and no more, as the ancient sages did. They did not run huge schools. There were those like Rabbi Akiva’s, of course, but usually there were two or three people whom a sage taught and that was all.

Dance is actually a language. I’m not talking about modern ballet. I’m talking about what can be expressed through movement.

Question: That is, by teaching dance, one can actually raise a sage?

Answer: Of course! This is not dancing; one teaches the language of communication with other people. Besides communication, we do not need anything, in principle. This is the correction of the world. So, in fact, dance, as the science of Kabbalah teaches, is simply a high level thing.

This rapprochement is sensory, without words, and even without music. It is an expression that is not superficial, although both words and music can complement it. When it’s expressed correctly, the body movement is sufficient. We see that dancing is everything to animals. One animal sees another and they understand each other and interact.

Question: What should be the goal of a teacher who teaches this language of communication, dance?

Answer: Language is also very specific. It is impossible to impose a language on a person because every language is limited; it is violence. One makes him express himself exactly in this way. In movement and dance, if a person completely relaxes, then one can express oneself, and the rest will understand him precisely because he expresses himself and that is all.

Question: Meaning, the task of the teacher, in general, is for the learner to be in the dance?

Answer: Of course. Precisely to free himself from any external constraints.

Question: How is it? This is impossible to teach!

Answer: You teach only how you can free yourself from your inner limitations. Then, you can already sing your own way and express yourself. There is nothing here! The others just have to cancel themselves as much as possible, enter you and your understanding of some inner experience, and then they will understand your dance.

Without music, without words, without anything—just movements.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/25/21

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Joy Of Birth Or Misery Of Parents?

626Question: New research shows that after the birth of a child parents are less happy. About a million parents were interviewed. Parents talk about financial difficulties, about needing a bigger apartment and a bigger car, that children require money, and so on.

What do you think about the news that parents do not feel happier after the birth of a child but the opposite?

Answer: There is no family. A family is when there are three generations. These three generations are not together. The three generations are the grandparents, the father, the mother, and the newborn. They provide the correct foundation, confidence, knowledge of childcare, family structure, and support to the family in everything. They should be an example, they should live together.

In modern apartments, of course, there is no room for this. However, it is desirable to live together. Otherwise, you will not understand what a family should be like, its origin, and the way it existed for thousands of years.

Question: Do children feel that their parents are not very happy about the fact that they had children?

Answer: Of course! The child feels it perfectly; he feels the entire surrounding atmosphere.

Comment: That is, even if they are talking quietly in the kitchen: “Look, we need to spend more money, we need to change the apartment. Why did we do this?”

My Response: All of it is reflected in everything. The child was in the mother’s womb, and now he is in a larger space and feels this space.

Question: So, if there are such thoughts, do they all influence him?

Answer: He feels them all, absorbs, and reacts accordingly.

Question: Even if parents think that it has become harder for them, how should they behave?

Answer: It does not matter that it is harder. They must be prepared that it will be harder. Of course, it will be harder! It becomes harder every day, and it will be harder for them until they die. They cannot escape it, this baby will get bigger and bigger, demand more and more, and so on.

However, they must understand all this and support each other for the sake of the child’s development. This is a very complex system, and it must be supported by society, the government, and the family. And certainly by the closest family!

Question: And what then is the joy of bearing a child?

Answer: To see your future in it, that children are born, and that they will be the continuation of the family. I am not talking about anything spiritual but simple everyday life.

Question: How did this gradually disappear?

Answer: Our egoism has separated us, divided us, put everyone in his own corner, and that is it. This is how it works. It is good for the ego when each of us is inside of himself and cares only about it.

Comment: And even about him, the closest and dearest one, we say that he is a burden to us.

My Response: He is not the closest and dearest. We say that he is a burden to us, he prevents me from taking care of my child, the one within me!

Question: Does it mean that my “I” is the closest and dearest?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What have we come to! I wonder what will happen next?

Answer: It is going to get worse. We will get to the point where we will all run to different corners, hide in our own corner, and not want to communicate with anyone! That is all! I will just be ordering myself a pizza and a coke, or something like that.

Question: And what will happen next?

Answer: Humanity must see the dead-end. Once we realize that this is a dead-end, then revelation will come from this dead-end: that we cannot continue like this.

I think we need to come to an understanding. That is, there should not be wars, there should not be any riots, excesses, but there should be clear awareness of the hopelessness and utter futility, and then we will start thinking: “What should we do?” Then we will remember: “Wait, I have heard something from Kabbalists.”

Question: “There is a book on my shelf, there is a clip,” and so on. Will a person look at it and start moving toward correction?

Answer: I am sure of it.

Question: So we must put everything on shelves, in computers?

Answer: Of course! We have no other choice.

Question: Even if we come to the same conclusions all the time?

Answer: It does not matter. If you have a small child who is growing and developing, you still have to tell him what to do, how to behave correctly. You cannot just leave it.

Question: In what will the correction of humanity be?

Answer: In learning to come closer to each other. They need to come out of seclusion, from their corners, and connect with each other in the right way. In the end, they will discover in these right connections the positive force of nature, the Creator.

Question: Why have we not discovered this until now?

Answer: We did not need it. There was no recognition of the evil of our nature. Everything was all right. We had everything: sports, football, all sorts of lures, everything you want, everything you need. Live peacefully and enjoy.

Question: Will there be a greater need to connect?

Answer: There will be no choice. Only hopelessness will lead humanity to the solution that there is a need to change the paradigm.

Question: If a person can hear you now, what decision should he make and what should he think about?

Answer: What the right life should be and what needs to be changed to make it happen. And to see that it is not so difficult. All the means for it are there. Let’s do it!
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/8/21

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Break The Vicious Circle

220Humanity in its development has advanced to the current level and now begins to understand that everything that society imposes on us, in principle, is to our detriment. We litter the environment, kill our life, disconnect from the family, from our children.

Instead of working a few hours a day and getting only the necessities of life, a person works twelve hours a day. For what? Only to produce what is considered valuable by society, otherwise, he will not respect himself, how he will look at his neighbors, and how his children will look at him.

It turns out that it is a vicious cycle created by us, which makes us much more unhappy than animals.

Question: A person is a desire to enjoy, he is drawn to what, as it seems to him, makes sense. He runs after some wrappings and thinks that in this he will find something, but in the end he finds nothing. What, in principle, is he to blame? And what is it all for?

Answer: So that we are disappointed in our natural, thoughtless, selfish development, and see how all this leads us to complete destruction. Look what families, children, and homes are now! All the most ordinary, natural, healthy, and normal suddenly disappears somewhere, distorts, and breaks. We cannot enjoy even such simple things.

We have invented all sorts of values and standards for ourselves, and we chase them. And as a result, we get depressed, which today is the first problem in the world, and we use drugs, otherwise we will not be able to keep up with this pace or this life in which I hate everyone, including myself.

Everyone needs a personal psychologist. Children at the age of twelve or thirteen leave home, break away from their parents. Where are they, what’s wrong with them?

Now a generation is growing that cannot get anything from us. We have nothing to give them. Baby animals are always raised by their parents. In this respect, we are the same animals. Who will bring up our children? What skills will they be able to acquire on their own? Imagine what kind of suffering they will have to go through in life before they find the correct algorithm of behavior.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/19/09

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You Must Not Seek Fame For Doing Good Deeds

962.2Comment: Iliya writes to us: “I watched your video clip where you say that if you want to help someone, you must not expect any kind attitude, or gift, or gratitude, not even simple “thank you,” nothing. This is what you call real help. But this is impossible. To do something good and not to expect at least a grateful glance or a smiley face for it. Dear Michael Laitman, this is utopia! You have to agree that this just cannot be!”

My Response: I understand you. It is really very difficult, even impossible. However, if at the same time you think that you are bringing a good force, a good state into the world, then your self-esteem, the greatness of your action, will increase.

Question: Does pride also increase at the same time?

Answer: No. Provided you think that you want to make the world better, to bring kindness to the world.

Question: If I do a good deed and think that I will get a thank you, some gift, even a small smiley face, or at least a grateful look, do you think this is not a good deed?

Answer: You are doing business at the same time. One will say thank you, give you a look, a woman will smile, a child too.

Comment: And right away I begin to feel good.

My Response: Yes, of course.

Comment: What you are suggesting is a very tall order.

My Response: No. Anyone in the world can say that our world needs kindness or it will fall apart, and let us arrange so that we just think about how to bring good actions, deeds, and good force into it. Let us do it and be thankful that our egoism allowed us to do it.

Comment: That sounds really nice.

My Response: Yes. Is this a big deal? Can you do this?

Comment: But I am an egoist by nature.

My Response: But you do give pleasure to your egoism: “I will do good for the world.” I can respect myself for this.

Question: Does this require some kind of preliminary education or is a person really capable of it?

Answer: I need to calibrate myself so that I respect myself for this.

Question: How will the world change then?

Answer: The world will change for the better. I will suddenly begin to see a lot of good in the world instead of what I see today, that there is only evil in it.

Question: Is it just because I changed my intention?

Answer: Yes. After all, it all depends on how I look at the world.

Question: That is, I am changing and the world is changing?

Answer: Exactly!

Question: Is it possible?

Answer: It depends on you! So, it is possible.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/18/21

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549.01Question: We received the question: “I would like to hear your opinion about helping someone—should we help or not? Why doesn’t the person you helped always thank you? After you raised him, helped spread his wings, he runs away and becomes an enemy.

Or maybe we are wrong to expect gratitude? Maybe there shouldn’t be any? Is it egoistic to expect gratitude? Why do you feel empty after helping a person like there is a black hole inside? Or is it not worth interfering at all and trying to help. Let him pull himself out?”

Answer: I will answer you very simply: if you want to help someone, then you must tune into the fact that you are helping. That is, it goes only from you to him, to this person—a man, a woman, a child, an animal, no matter who—but you help without any expectation to receive something in return no kind attitude, gifts, or gratitude. Nothing! Then you will really be helping.

Comment: This, of course, is like aerobatics—not expecting that they will at least say “thank you.”

My Response: One word: “Thank you” can be worth billions. Imagine if a baby smiles at its mother, how gratifying and what a reward it is for her! So, it depends on whether you are expecting some kind of answer back.

Question: Is it possible to be brought up so as not to expect an answer? Is it possible at all?

Answer: This is real bestowal. Otherwise, you do everything for the sake of gratitude.

Question: And then it is not considered that we did something for someone?

Answer: Yes. Check how much selfless help is in your help, what percentage, and what percentage is precisely because you still hope to receive some kind of answer or gratitude. And then you may not have such unfulfilled expectations.

Question: But she asks: “Why do you feel empty after helping a person as if there is a black hole inside?”

Answer: Precisely because you expect that you will get something for it. And therefore, if there is no counter-filling, you get the feeling of a black abyss. It is just our nature. What are you going to do? Get ready to do something truly altruistic.

Question: What exercises should be done in order to tune in to it?

Answer: Only toward it and not reverse. Only toward another and not back to yourself. You must make sure that you have the energy and desire for it. And you definitely do not have it, this energy and this desire to do it, no matter for whom. If it is important to someone, whoever he is, then this is already your reward.

Comment: That is, if I act toward a great person …

My Response: Great, close, kind, good, beautiful, relatively ugly, relatively dirty, no matter what and how.

Question: Am I already getting a reward?

Answer: Yes, on the spot. This must be very explicitly felt in you. It is very difficult.

Comment: You demand something almost impossible.

My Response: Not almost, it is impossible! But this is the truth. This is a Kabbalistic calculation.

Question: One way or another, will we come to realize that this is how we will live?

Answer: Yes, life will gradually put us before such inner psychology, and we will see who we are, that we are disgusting animals and cannot rise above ourselves even if we really wanted to! And then we will all shout to heaven together to give us strength, understanding, and reason how we can do so that all this does not come back to my filthy egoism!

Question: In fact, when you say all the time in your videos: “You must learn how to do good or convey goodness in your thoughts toward another person,” are you actually talking about this?

Answer: I speak from this point of view.

Question: Step by step, a person will slowly achieve this?

Answer: Yes. It will happen.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 1/14/21

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Knowledge Of Kabbalah Is Indispensable

962.2The science of Kabbalah is revealed to the extent that humanity is disappointed in its development.

Gradually, we will come to a state where humanity will understand that we have a means by which we can push the boundaries of this world, see the second half of creation, and understand where we are going. When we combine these two halves of nature into one, everything will become clear to us. Then we will find happiness, including in marriage.

I do not think that without the knowledge of Kabbalah, a person will be able to build a proper family, raise children. This is absolutely out of the question.

The current school and the current relationship between boys and girls does not give any happiness and fulfillment. Therefore, we cannot do without Kabbalistic knowledge of how to raise children, how to organize children’s groups and education at school, and how to build a family and social relations between people, groups of people, and between nations.

All this we will see only from the part of the world that is hidden from us—the spiritual half. Seeing the second half, we will be able to correctly build the first one.

Let us hope that people will want to see it, take the Kabbalistic method of revealing the world and make their lives happy. At least for the sake of our children.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/11/09

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How To Release Accumulated Anger?

633.3Question: You tweeted: “Do not replace hatred with love, you will destroy love. It is recommended to keep all bad things and learn to cover them with good, with love. To cover means to maintain conformity, to be between them. Then you will stand on two legs and grow both of these qualities in the middle line.”

A reader asks: “It is so hard, but you have to accept it, there is no other way. The only thing that matters for me is where to cast out the accumulated evil?”

Answer: It should not be cast out. Accumulated evil must be covered with good. That is why it exists: so that the good grows all the time. The good cannot grow without reason. Only if evil grows will we raise the good above it by our efforts.

Question: How can someone come to terms with evil?

Answer: We should not come to terms with it! We should look at the world in a reasonable way. It is not easy, it is very hard, but we will otherwise not come to the correct view of the world.

The world consists of two forces: positive and negative. Therefore, we need to interact in the right way: love and hate, good and evil, minus and plus. We must find a balance between them.

Question: And what will enable this transition? It is like a balloon that inflates, inflates, and anger accumulates, accumulates. How will the transition from the state of anger and hatred to the state of love take place?

Answer: When we realize that we cannot destroy anger, hatred, and all our negative properties and impulses, but we can only balance them with positive properties so that they coexist.

Question: A reader asks about a multi-step algorithm. Suppose she is filled with anger or hatred. What should she do step-by-step in order to reach the next state?

Answer: In general, this should be done in the group, in an environment that supports this method, under the guidance of a more experienced person who can really direct you how to do it.

But the main thing is that we do not destroy negative properties. We understand that they should exist in nature as well as positive ones, and only in their proper interaction with each other can we create a convenient, necessary, comfortable and, most importantly, reliable world that will not keep falling from hatred to good and from good to hatred, without knowing what awaits us  the next moment.

Question: So we need to face this state of hatred and anger?

Answer: Face it in the right way, appreciate it correctly, understand that no one is to blame, that it is our nature that develops us in this way, and we must balance it with good forces. And in order to find these good forces in nature, we must make efforts.

For this, we need a support group that will set us an example and support us. And when everyone supports his friend, we will be able to clearly and faithfully set ourselves up for the correct interaction, the correct balance between love and hatred.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 2/3/19

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Yearning For Greater Balance

232.09Question: What should we do in order to precede the right choice of our path by thinking, expecting, and predicting it?

Answer: It is very simple.

On the whole, we need to reach a world in which a wolf dwells with a lamb in peace, and a little child leads them, and so on. The prophecy in the Bible is true.

The goal of our development is to attain a state in which all the parts of creation find their place, the right mutual cooperation with all the other parts, and thus the whole world reaches a state of balance. This is the real state of the world, which is good and right and most stable, that we will need to attain.

In order to yearn for this state, we need to yearn for unity between us. Thus we will impact all the lowest states of the world, by our yearning for unity. We simply need to act correctly. To act correctly means to constantly aim at greater mutual cooperation between as many parts of the system as possible, in order to reach its balance.

Question: How is the major force that operates in this whole process expressed?

Answer: The major force that operates is the general force that manages the whole universe, all of creation, and which sustains it in a balanced state. It is the good force that overcomes the evil force, but by mutual cooperation with us, so that the good force sustains the whole system in a state of balance.

Question: How can we reach the level of this force of providence?

Answer: It is only by our efforts to be together, to be connected in good relations.

Question: Scientists say that philosophers think in terms of the interaction of time and system dynamics. They understand the whole system and how everything is divided in time, and they understand that it is still necessary to add interaction. This is similar to acrobats in a circus who stand on each other’s shoulders in order to attain a certain formation and reach the top. Do we need the same cooperation there is between acrobats, who feel each other, support each other, and thus keep their balance?

Answer: Acrobats pay constant attention to any diversion from balance and behave like a surveillance system in order to keep their balance. Here, however, it is on a higher level. I don’t need to work in a surveillance system and to constantly get rid of the disturbances in order to keep balance. Instead, I need to constantly yearn for greater balance. Only then will I be totally sure that my pyramid will not collapse.

Question: What is the greatest balance?

Answer: An even greater balance is an increase in the level of balance, an increase in its strength. Here, more and more data must be taken into account in order to include it in the equilibrium formula and to balance again and again.
In order for both negative and positive forces to manifest themselves even more, they were divided even more into many parts, and all of them together determined the conditions that the formula should integrate and balance.

Question: What data is there in this formula other than the positive force and the negative force?

Answer: No other data. There is only the balance between them. Everything is very simple.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/3/19

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