Entries in the 'Children' Category

New Life 1320 – The Generation Gap

New Life 1320 – The Generation Gap
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

Nature creates generation gaps so that humanity will advance. It is impossible to convey the wisdom of life to younger generations, so we need to establish an environment that reflects positive values. If an adult has a desire to give, he should try to learn what is good for the young person and give that. A parent should be close to his child, like a friend, so that he can speak to him freely about everything without moralizing or criticizing.

Only love can help us communicate and bridge the generation gap. We should show a child that if he does something wrong, he makes us change our attitude toward him. There is a wide pipeline between our child and us through which love constantly flows, but the key to the tap is in the hands of the child.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1320 – The Generation Gap,” 10/10/21

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Why Does A Spark Of Good Prevent You From Winning

293In the News (CityinFocus): “In December of 2012, Spanish athlete Iván Fernández Anaya was competing in a cross-country race in Spain. He was running second, some distance behind race leader Abel Mutai (bronze medalist in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the London Olympics). Close to the finish line, Iván saw Abel–certain to be the winner of the race–pull up about 10 meters before the finish line. He had become confused by the signage and stopped, thinking he had already completed the race.

“Iván was right behind him and, realizing what was happening, started shouting at the Kenyan to continue running, but Abel didn’t understand Spanish. Realizing what was taking place, Iván approached Abel and gently pushed him forward to victory.

“When a journalist asked Iván, ‘Why did you do that?’ he replied, ‘My dream is that someday we can have a kind of community life where we push and help each other to win.’ The journalist insisted, ‘But why did you let the Kenyan win?’ Iván responded, ‘I didn’t let him win; he was going to win. The race was his.’ The journalist again said, ‘But you could have won!’ Iván looked at him and replied, ‘But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honour in that medal? What would my mother think of that?’ The world has made Iván a hero, pointing to him as an icon of sportsmanship.

Answer: This is some answer! That is, his mother apparently is a mother who would shame him for not doing this. This is upbringing.

Question: The shame that someone feels, is it good?

Answer: It means a lot, of course. Moreover, it involves his mom.

Comment: This was almost the main factor for him, apparently.

My Response: Yes. If the Olympic athlete says so it is great!

Question: Why don’t we live like this? So, I read this, and I immediately have such a warm feeling.

Answer: Of course! This man showed the real Man within.

Comment: This is sport!

My Response: Yes, undoubtedly! Not what we have today: dope, cheating, anything to win.

Question: So, do you think that a huge degradation has happened since 2012?

Answer: It happened of course. But still, you see, there are people who cannot go for it.

Question: Why does a person not adjust himself to live like this? Why doesn’t humanity come to this?

Answer: A person should still receive satisfaction even from this. We are not talking about him going by faith above reason, about bestowing against his nature, and so on. But within his nature, through education, he can make it so that he cannot steal, he cannot betray, he cannot do something that is against people, against others. Education means a lot.

Question: Do you think that education can achieve this?

Answer: Not in the form that we talk about in Kabbalah, but it is possible. At least universal human values can be achieved by education.

Question: From the point of view of Kabbalah, does this spark of goodness and bestowal exist in a person? Is it there or not?

Answer: Every person has it. Everyone! Absolutely! It all depends only on the style of upbringing and the intensity of upbringing, the ability to educate, etc. so that it would be possible to instill bestowal above reception in a person, so that he could even give his life for the life of another.

These are not spiritual qualities yet, but this is something that would, of course, be incomparably better, some indicators in human society in comparison with what we have today.

Today everything is directed only at me, someone beloved, dear, and unique—by all means

Question: And what does education lead to in Kabbalah? For this spark to turn to fire?

Answer: In Kabbalah, this is very specific. That is, it is necessary to convince a person that it is impossible to live differently because everything is programmed by nature. And after that, to explain to him where to get this supernatural force of nature, which must replace his egoism.

Comment: That is, instead of living for yourself, live for others. You can find it only outside yourself. You will not find it in yourself.

My Response: You cannot find it. And education will not help here. Education works at human level, but this is above human.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/5/21

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How To Overcome Children’s Addiction To Video Games

531.03Question: The Chinese authorities have banned children from playing video games for more than three hours a week. They are only allowed to play for one hour on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and on holidays from 8 pm to 9. This is how China is fighting with children’s addiction to video games.

It is clear that a lot of video games are harmful to children. For China, such a ban system will work. And for the world?

Answer: Eventually, it will not work for China or for the world. Children, if they are interested, will invent other ways out of this. We will have to make some other game.

Question: But how to get children out of this addiction? They shoot there, kill, do not leave these games and live in them.

Answer: There is no way to get them out of it yet. I don’t see that it is possible to invent something today for all the children to move to something different instead of video games.

Question: If possible, give advice to parents who moan and cry that children do not leave these games, sit for days and nights. What to do?

Answer: The global solution across the Internet is to disconnect! Do something so that you can be on these sites for no more than three hours.

Question: So you are in favor of prohibitive methods?

Answer: Education is always based on the carrot and the stick; otherwise, it is impossible to raise a person from a small animal.

Education is when you eventually impose it on him, and he gradually acquires a different scale of values.

Question: What scale of values should he acquire? What would you like the little man to acquire?

Answer: He must see the task before him. Let’s say at the end of the week or even at the end of the day to provide some work, not heavy, but work that still requires some effort, time, communication, ingenuity, that is, everything that you want to develop in him. And he can’t buy off or take it from someone in any way for any money. Then he will have to not sit for 10 hours in these games, but do this task after all.

Question: And what would you personally like to develop in a little man?

Answer: Real education is an example.

Question: And what kind of father and mother should be in front of him?

Answer: The kind that have a goal in life, and they seriously want to achieve this goal. And they work every day to achieve this goal.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/2/21

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“What Schools Are Not Teaching (And Should)” (Linkedin)

My new article on Linkedin “What Schools Are Not Teaching (And Should)

Societies have failed their exams on education. From the beginning to the end through all the school years, our children are sentenced to tiring days confined within classroom walls. It is clear that today’s educational system is far from perfect, but can we afford to just wait for a miraculous change to happen? We need to start asking what the changes are that we would like to see. How should schools be designed so that our children will enjoy their time spent learning and they will actually learn things that enable them to realize their full potential as human beings?

Similar to the way many layers of various minerals were deposited to create the Grand Canyon, so children are treated at school. They are all assembled as a big block, filled layer by layer, like in a production line, without regarding how the place should be built to be adapted to the particular physiological and emotional needs of a child who is growing and developing. Unfortunately, any typical school is a place steeped with violence, ruthless competition and anger, where many students suffer from boycotts, bullying, and other serious phenomena. Nationwide, 42.1% of U.S. students ages 12-18 experienced bullying in the classroom according to federal statistics.

The variety of problems we see in society begin in schools. The contempt, condescension and bad relations so common on social networks, in the workplace, on the roads, as well as in the media, in politics, any and everywhere, are all side effects of what happens in schools. A person, a human being, a humane member of society, is not built there as is evident in the end result. We pay the price throughout life as individuals and as a society.

In order to design something completely different we need to start by drawing a picture of the life we would like our children to live in adulthood. In a world that is becoming more and more connected, the most important thing for success is to know how to build positive relations with others. A person who knows how to make mutual social connections and who could organize good connections between people around him or herself, such a person would succeed in anything and everything: in business, in the workplace, in relationships and in the family. Therefore, the main occupation of the schools should be to build a person with the ability to connect with each and every one.

How do we do that? About a third of school time should be devoted to methods such as circle discussions, conversations, workshops, contact exercises, friendly games, watching meaningful movies, theater simulations, role-playing games and all sorts of means aimed at developing a person’s ability to feel others and communicate well. The goal is to build a deep bond between the children, to make them feel like a cohesive group where everyone feels for everyone and supports each other.

The topics that should be studied in such a framework are from the field of human relationships and the psychology of social relationships between children and parents, boys and girls, etc., so that everyone will understand how others are constituted and see what they can take from it for fulfillment. It goes without saying that we will first need to prepare an infrastructure of teachers who will be experts in leading such processes and detailed curricula.

Another third of the time should be devoted to study tours, field trips, outside of school. The goal is to get to know life itself, the city, the country, the world; to see how different facilities work like banks, factories, courts, hospitals, high-tech companies, automobile repair shops, agricultural greenhouses or chip manufacturing laboratories. They need to see everything with their own eyes, understand how things work, talk to professionals who will explain the working methods, the technologies they use, the laws on which they are based.

Children should be prepared for each tour in advance and followed up with a summary where each child will present his or her impressions of the tour to their classmates, and everyone will absorb the impressions of everyone else. Such tours will inspire children to understand why it is necessary to learn about all sorts of professions that seemed unnecessary in the first place. Another beneficial option is arranging for the youth to be integrated in various workplaces each week so students will be able to find out which profession they are interested in. This will naturally increase their desire to learn and polish their abilities and skills.

The remaining third of the time should be devoted to imparting knowledge in all kinds of elementary subjects such as mathematics, English and science. Here, too, the learning must be conducted in a group format where everyone supports and helps each other to understand things. This would be really meaningful learning, not just a hollow slogan about education.

Thus, school will become an open and fun place, a university of life. And unlike the knowledge retained for a short period of time as currently happens, children will absorb information and experiences deep inside them, and most importantly: wherever they go later in life, they will want to build this kind of relationships around them.

Looking ahead, later in the 21st century the most sought-after profession will be experts in building social connections. Computers and robots will perform most jobs in the future, and what we will be left with is mainly to take care of developing integral relationships between people. This is how the human race will progress by adapting to the system of nature in which everything is connected and interdependent. In such a state of mutual cooperation our life and the life of the future generation will be the best it can be.

Where Does The Motherland Begin?

766.7Homeland is where you feel good. (Folk wisdom)

If a person is corrected, then it coincides that the homeland is where you feel good. And if a person is not corrected, then he is mistaken in the definition of homeland, perhaps absolutely.

A corrected person is one for whom the goal of his life, his development, and the goal of the world are one and the same.

Question: What is that goal?

Answer: Goodness.

Question: What do you mean by this?

Answer: When everyone feels good.

Question: What simple definitions you give! Is it okay for everyone? Doing good to another?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What is to do good to another?

Answer: “Do not do to another what you do not want to be done to yourself.” This is the main rule.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/5/21

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New Life 1318 – Coping With Violent Communication In The Family

New Life 1318 – Coping With Violent Communication In The Family
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

The education system needs to teach children how to behave in relationships. Children who grow up in families with violent communication will likely feel insecure and want to escape. They should withdraw from their violent family environments in order to succeed in building new, corrected patterns. They need positive examples to learn from. The first principle we should teach is the principle of equality. If someone relates to us with verbal violence, we reflect the same back to them, like a mirror image, so they will feel their need for correction. Behind the principle of equality, there is a desire to be built by each other, to build the right patterns for ourselves.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1318 – Coping With Violent Communication In The Family,” 9/12/21

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“What Are The Three Most Important Values We Should Teach Our Children?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What are the three most important values we should teach our children?

We should give our children knowledge about the world’s structure, about the fact that the world is an integral system, how people are interconnected and interdependent, and with such understanding, how we should behave accordingly.

When we understand the extent of our integrality, we should aim our attitudes and behaviors at no less than loving and caring about other people as we love and care about ourselves.

Such interrelations are necessary in order for us to enter into harmony and balance with nature. Otherwise, if we fail to achieve balance with nature, if we remain detached with no perception and sensation of ourselves as a single system, then we will evoke suffering upon ourselves.

Also, on the other side of the same coin, to the extent that we achieve harmony and balance with nature—a global and balanced unification with nature—we will achieve a safe, peaceful and harmonious life on a different spiritual, eternal and perfect level. It is because doing so elevates us from the animate physical level of existence, which we now feel, to the level of spiritual existence, which we will feel as soon as we start ascending from the level of negative egoistic connections to the level of positive altruistic connections.

Based on a Q&A with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman on September 9, 2006. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

Generation Z will Lead Us To The Creator

963.1Comment: Generation Z are those born after 1997.

Some say that they are brave and independent. Their heroes are not astronauts, scientists, but stars and bloggers. They were born with a phone in their hands, they learn about the world in a split second.

Their clip-thinking allows them to “read” a person from photos and videos in a couple of seconds and determine whether it is worth communicating with him further.

My Response: That is correct. What else is there to poke around in a person? It is only possible at this point in time to find out whether he is useful for me or not.

Comment: That is, they are total egoists.

My Response: Pragmatic, simple, and straightforward.

Question: Secondly there is an absence of barriers in communication. They easily get to know the stars, they can write to Elon Musk, whomever they want. The Internet gave them the opportunity not to be afraid of anyone at all, not to be ashamed. So, is such behavior good?

Answer: Of course it is good. Why should I grovel in front of anyone? How is he better than me? What is he? Are they some majestic people, some special stars, scientists?

Comment: But we have always had some element of respect for certain people. Some famous professor, Nobel laureate, or Olympic champion. And these individuals can easily communicate with anyone.

My Response: Everyone is equal. We have already gone through this. There is nothing special about any person.

Question: What do I value a person for, so that I still freeze a little with respect to them?

Answer: Only according to his benefit for society, his practical benefit for society. Nothing else.

Where will you find such people? That is a question. This is where such a clip-consciousness is needed, good perception and assessment, sorting and result.

Question: And then I will respect this person?

Answer: It will be absolutely clear to you why you respect him. And others will agree with you.

Comment: Another characteristic is the absence of complexes. They accept themselves as they are, erase blockages, settings, frameworks within themselves.

My Response: Of course. And what is in a person, what is there that did not come from nature? And what is there in others? Where are their personal traits? Therefore, there is no basis for justification, accusation, or shame.

Comment: That is, you support the notion that a person should have no complexes: “This is who I am! This is the way I am!”

My Response: Of course. If we do not have these complexes, we will be able to figure out what is in us and what we really need to fix.

Comment: You said: “Because it comes from nature,” so it is not mine, like anything else.

My Response: Of course! And they understand all that. This is the basis of the framework that is not me. “Go to the craftsman who made me” if you have any claims on me.

Comment: That is, if I have complaints against myself, I say: “The Creator did it to me,” and that’s it. And I am talking to Him.

My Response: Yes. But you see, this is calculated based on the fact that people think that way, that they will embrace each other and thus relate to each other. That is, then I will see in the other the result of the Creator’s work on him.

Question: Will I will always have the view through the Creator at another individual? And for myself too: through the Creator at me?

Answer: Yes, it is the Creator who does everything. This is the next stage of Generation Z.

Comment: But should I know something about the Creator?

My Response: No. I see the results of His actions.

Comment: One last thing: self-importance; there are no more self-confident young people than zoomers. It is difficult to influence them with ideologies, they are independent, and they feel their value.

My Response: In general, this is true. Why should I respect or despise someone for anything? I just have to appreciate people for their potential, for the fact that they can grow. Even if today I do not see it.

Question: And the fact that there is my self-importance, what good is there?

Answer: That I have the opportunity to grow, one that will be respected by society.

Question: But you are talking specifically about spiritual growth?

Answer: No, actually, not about the spiritual.

Question: So something that will be respected by society? If I grow up doing something for society, is that my growth?

Answer: That is enough!

Question: More and more?

Answer: Yes.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 5/31/21

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“Why Homeschooling Is Booming” (Linkedin)

My new article on Linkedin “Why Homeschooling Is Booming

Homeschooling has been on the rise in the US and all over the West for several decades now, but the years 2020-2021 brought with them a leap in the number of homeschooled children. As of March 2021, nearly 5 million K-12 children were learning at home, twice as many as in 2019, and almost 9 percent of school-age children in the US. In light of the dismal state of the education system, it is not surprising. If we want children to be happy when they go to school, we must revamp the entire paradigm of education.

An essay titled “Homeschooling: The Research,” published on July 01, 2021, proves that the phenomenon is not exclusive to a particular faith, race, ethnicity, income level, or even level of schooling. According to the essay, “A demographically wide variety of people homeschool – these are atheists, Christians, and Mormons; conservatives, libertarians, and liberals; low-, middle-, and high-income families; black, Hispanic, and white; parents with Ph.D.s, GEDs, and no high-school diplomas.”

Homeschooling has been gaining popularity not because people are so keen on teaching their children by themselves. Its expansion is first and foremost a testimony to the collapse of the existing paradigm. It is not surprising. If you force an education system that was designed during the Industrial Revolution, and whose initial goal was to teach basic literacy and how to operate a lathe, it is a recipe for disaster.

What’s more, the education system does not really educate. It provides some knowledge, but it does nothing in terms of cultivating children’s social skills and human relations. School children of all ages are easy targets to bullying, drug and substance abuse, violence and sexual predation at a place where they should be protected and cared for—at school. In such an atmosphere, they are unable to learn properly, and develop survival skills rather than educational skills. Many of their emotional problems stem not from the domestic environments or from their own personalities, but from the stressful and intimidating atmosphere they are subjected to at school.

For many parents, such stress on their children is unacceptable, and they are opting to relinquish part of their income and take their children’s education into their own hands. As the research shows, despite their lack of teaching experience, the results of their efforts exceed those of the system that was meant to be professional and superior to parents teaching their children.

When children feel imprisoned at school, they cannot flourish. At home, where they feel free, they can do much better even with less professional assistance.

Nevertheless, I do not believe that homeschooling is the ideal educational method. Children need to be among peers of their age group. Also, not all parents are suitable teachers, just as not all people are suitable for any expertise. People who excel in educating, and who are naturally disposed to it, should engage in it. However, the system must be one that caters to the needs of the children and not one that forces them into templates created centuries ago, and which do not fit how they think, feel, perceive the world, or match their aspirations.

In the absence of a system that provides minimal educational requisites and human relation skills, homeschooling is the lesser of two evils. However, as I said, it is not the right way to bring up children in the future.

Rearing children should be done in small groups, with boys and girls apart, as coed settings are certainly the cause of many problems. Additionally, there should be more connection between schools and parents, more discussions about what the children want, need, and where they are learning. Subsequently, children should learn according to their preferred course of learning, the one that suits them.

There is a saying in Hebrew: “Teach the child according to the child’s way.” It means that because each child has unique attributes and qualities, each child should learn according to those characteristics. In this way, children grow up feeling satisfied and fulfilled.

Last, but certainly not least, is the issue of social learning. Since we spend much of our time communicating with others, and since we learn from one another all the time, schools should dedicate much of the time and educational programs to teaching human relation skills. In order to become productive and confident adults, children must learn how to communicate positively and productively with one another. This will help them at work, at home, with their own children when they become parents, and wherever they communicate with people.

“Look Beyond The Screens” (Linkedin)

My new article on Linkedin “Look Beyond the Screens

The necessity to switch to virtual learning turned out to be a formidable challenge. The majority of teachers feel that teaching virtually is inefficient and harms both children and educators due to difficulties in communication and lack of physical contact. But is it really all that bad? When children are with each other, they’re in the screens. When they are alone, they’re still in the screens. Instead of speaking on the phone, they speak and chat at the same time through apps on their mobile phones and laptops. Are they really disconnected or do we simply not understand their connections?

I think it is we, dinosaurs, who are uncommunicative because we’re stuck in our old ways and can’t adapt to using virtual communication. Youngsters, on the other hand, use mobile phones and laptops as if they are parts of their own body. If we knew how to use the platforms they use, we wouldn’t think that they are uncommunicative or disconnected, but that they do it differently from us. We would realize that it is we, dinosaurs, who are the misfits.

It is true that many youngsters suffer from depression and other emotional issues. However, it is not because they don’t want to connect or that they can’t connect. It is because we are imposing on them a system of communication that is suitable for us but not for them. When they can’t handle it, we “diagnose” them as having ADHD and other dysfunctions. But it is mostly because we can’t offer them the platforms where they are happy to communicate and do it easily and gladly.

Instead of making them do things the way we think they should, we should tap into the means they are already using and teach them where they already like to be—the virtual realm. Just as there are plenty of online games for fun, and plenty of online courses and tutorials that are fun to learn, there can be plenty of educational programs that teach K12 children everything they need to know, and in a way they like to learn.

Additionally, since they already communicate via the internet, why not keep it that way and find more engaging ways to get them involved? The fact that Zoom was available when schools were forced to shift to virtual learning doesn’t mean that this should be the platform to be used going forward. Children know how to create personal relations and how to convey true feelings through virtual connections. Now educators need to learn how to convey knowledge, support, and guidance through the same channels.

Reality won’t reverse course; it moves only forward. We will all have to adapt; the only question is at what cost to our children. The faster we grow out of our obsolete habits and look beyond the screens at the young hearts pumping behind them, the happier our kids will be.