By this we have succeeded in understanding the answer of our sages that this world was created because “One who eats that which is not one’s own is afraid to look upon one’s face” (Baal HaSulam, “The Study of the Ten Sefirot,” Chapter 4, Inner Observation, Item 20).
Question: How does shame awaken that you eat something that doesn’t belong to you, since we don’t have such a feeling?
Answer: Shame arises from the fact that we are only in reception and cannot change in any way. We are ashamed of our friends, we are ashamed of the Creator, we are ashamed of ourselves.
But we don’t have that in us yet. And then, when we gradually begin to feel that we are unable to do anything for the sake of bestowal, we will have a feeling that we cannot tolerate ourselves. And then we will have the opportunity to correct ourselves.
Question: It turns out that the desire to connect with the Creator gives you the feeling of someone else’s food, which you eat every time you receive?
Answer: No. The fact that you absorb the energy of the Creator, the qualities of the Creator, does not bother you yet. At the first stage, you feel ashamed that you are not changing. It seems to you that all the friends have changed, but you haven’t.
You look at your friends in the group and see that you are worse than them. You don’t understand what we study, you don’t understand the questions, you don’t understand the texts, you don’t understand the answers, you are not with your friends. You cannot interact with them because you think the others have been united for a long time. This is a problem.
Question: But every time it is unclear how to get to this degree. It appears that you are not putting enough effort because you don’t feel that way?
Answer: Firstly, there is not enough effort. Secondly, you may be hiding it too much from yourself so that you do not feel unpleasant.
Question: How can you reveal this in yourself? How can you notice the merits of friends?
Answer: Look at how they are connected, how they help each other, how you lag behind them, and how they participate in everything, understand texts, and ask questions. Look how much they are ahead of you in everything.
Question: But how can you see this in the friends in the ten who are currently absent? You want to see that they participate more in all events, and in the end you participate more. How can you distinguish this quality of advantage in them and put it above yourself?
Answer: It will come. First you think you are the best, and then you will see that it is the opposite. They will unite and show that they are above you.
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/9/23, Writings of Baal HaSulam “The Study of the Ten Sefirot (TES)”
View from Concealment
Shame Is The Point Of My “Self”
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