Entries in the 'Love' Category

The Influence Of Kabbalistic Books

260.02Question: What influence do Kabbalistic books have on us?

Answer: A positive influence. First, they tell a person what one lives in, what is happening in it, why this world is spinning around us, and what influence we can have on it.

We begin to understand how we can change the world and our existence in it with the help of certain actions, how much the laws of nature are adapted for us to use them, and to what extent  people can adapt themselves to the correct application of these laws.

In general, Kabbalah is the science of the correct connection of man with nature.

Question: Does a person feel this influence on himself?

Answer: Kabbalah leads one precisely to a sensory and rational perception so that with the help of both mind and feelings a person would correctly direct the influence on changing his nature.

Is it possible to feel this through a book?

Answer: Not just to feel. The book guides him, explains how to do it. The correct application of Kabbalah should change a person’s entire destiny.

Question: If he knew that, he would probably only read these books, right?

Answer: Yes. However, here everything depends on the strength of the desire. It is not like you pick up a book, open it, and suddenly, like in Harry Potter, everything changes and lights up. No.

Yet, if a person desires, then by changing himself, he changes the influence of the surrounding world on himself.
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From KabTV’s “Questions about Kabbalistic Books” 10/22/19

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“The Strongest Force Of All” (Linkedin)

My new article on Linkedin “The Strongest Force of All

In relationships, at work, in society, in the country, in the world, in relationships of all kinds and at any level, one can see power, exploitation, and control. Where does this come from and how can we better cope with these destructive impulses?

The material from which we are made is a desire to enjoy. This is why we constantly set norms that define an excessive activation of our desire to receive at the expense of others as forceful and invalid. Unlike animals that act by instinct, nature gave human beings the freedom of choice to determine how they treat others within society.

Today’s unsettling state thus points the way to the need for us to draw an opposite, balancing, positive force in order for us to create good relations between each other and with nature. It is the force of love, the strongest of all. If we open up the ability to live under the premise of “love your neighbor as yourself,” we will create a pleasant and encouraging atmosphere that will free us from the need of taking advantage of others.

The education we receive, the environment that surrounds us, our individual attributes, and the circumstances in which we live, form a comprehensive account that determines when we exercise power toward others, in what form, and how much we allow our egoism to act to control others in order to achieve our goals.

There are struggles in nature also, but only in humans is there egoism, an evil instinct. No animal wants to harm another animal or enjoys controlling and abusing another. Humans, on the other hand, have no boundaries, no limits. As egoism develops, we want to swallow up the whole world and to subdue everyone under us. It is not enough for us to have everything we want at our disposal; we differ from animals in our desire for control.

If we could recognize the material we are made of, we would discover that we never see the person in front of us as such, but only as an object for our dominance who could be used for our benefit. There is always a subconscious communication between us about how much I can overpower you and vice versa and how much can I enjoy what I get from you. Our lives revolve around such measurements and calculations with each and every one in every way possible.

But eventually, we will discover that no matter how hard we try to bend each other, we do not achieve lasting satisfaction. Perhaps we seemingly gain something for a moment as a result of exploiting someone to our advantage, but in such circumstances we are never relaxed, nor do we experience the potential good life nature has given us to realize.

Our era marks a unique and highly significant transition point, we bear witness to our egoistic development reaching a dead end, we feel increasing difficulty to be fulfilled from selfish pursuits, which gives rise to a plethora of negative attitudes in society. People are taking their dissatisfaction out on each other more and more, which leads to increasing polarization and hatred throughout society.

Today’s unsettling state thus points the way to the need for us to draw an opposite, balancing, positive force in order for us to create good relations between each other and with nature. It is the force of love, the strongest of all. If we open up the ability to live under the premise of “love your neighbor as yourself,” we will create a pleasant and encouraging atmosphere that will free us from the need of taking advantage of others.

The best example of the immense potential of love is in our relationship with our children. Nature has given us love for them so we constantly make sure that everything is good for them, that they are happy. No one pressures us to do so, we feel a tendency from within, and this is also what makes us the happiest in life.

We are advancing toward a more connected world where we will discover from day to day how much we all depend on each other. The only relationships that will allow us to live a secure life involve complementary connection between people from all different backgrounds and characteristics, even opposites, to a level of mutual love. And as we each struggle with our own egoism, which pushes us in opposite directions, we will begin to feel how indispensable it is to support and cherish each other to enjoy life in the full sense of the word.

“What Are 5 Facts About Spiritual Love?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What are 5 facts about spiritual love?

1) The attainment of spiritual love and spiritual connection can only take place above sensations of hatred and rejection. If we love others without having built love above hatred and rejection, then it is not spiritual love.

2) It is written about the attainment of spiritual love in the Torah, that “Love will cover all crimes” (Proverbs 10:12).

3) Spiritual attainment requires holding onto the rule of “Love will cover all crimes,” and that we cannot hold love without feeling the “crimes,” i.e., hatred and rejection of others. The attitude to love and hatred thus needs to be equal in importance. We attain spirituality between them both, and thus those who wish to attain spirituality need to equally position love and hatred, or connection and rejection, before themselves.

4) The human ego, which is a desire to enjoy at the expense of others, is the cause of feeling hatred and rejection toward others; it is an “anti-spiritual” quality. Developing spiritual love thus requires feeling hatred and rejection illuminating in our ego’s rejection of spirituality, then reaching a decision to restrict the ego, and then above the ego, developing an attitude of love and connection to others. Moreover, such an attitude needs to be constant, where we feel love and hatred simultaneously, and choose love above the hatred. It is unlike our corporeal world, where we love and hate at different times. Holding these qualities together gains us access to the sensation of eternity.

5) The development and discovery of spiritual love above its opposite hatred and rejection is the “artistry” of spirituality. In the language of Kabbalah, it is expressed as follows: that the spiritual Partzuf (a spiritual entity or identity) takes its Aviut (coarse egoistic desire), which is a sensation of hatred and a complete lack of connection to others, and through a Tzimtzum (restriction) of the egoistic desire, the Partzuf rises above the Aviut to connect—elevating values of connection much higher in importance than the natural egoistic inclination—and to the extent of the oppositeness between qualities of love/connection and hatred/rejection, the new, higher, more spiritual and giving Partzuf is discovered: both through the Aviut (coarse egoistic desire) below, and the Zakut (purity) above.

Based on the Daily Kabbalah Lesson on January 27, 2021. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

The Thorny Path To Love

571.01Usually we feel either distance, resistance, the egoism between us, or attraction to each other and a desire to get closer. But to feel both sensations at the same time, both separation and connection, is a great art, which can be achieved only on the spiritual path.

This is how a skilled cook adds special spices to the food: in a sweet dish a drop of bitterness is added; to emphasize the sweetness of the cake, it is soaked in cognac. We are not able to feel only one side, we perceive everything from its opposite, as the advantage of light from darkness.

Small children usually love only one thing, only sweets. And when they grow up, they already want to feel two opposites together, so they like spicy and salty food. It is the same in our lives. If everything goes well and smoothly, only love without any problems and quarrels, then we are missing something, as if there is nothing to cling to if there are no quarrels and clarifications.

You should always add a little bitter to the sweet to emphasize the sweetness of sweet. This is how we are built, it comes from the foundation of creation, from us being opposite to the Creator. Therefore, in order to feel Him, we also need to feel ourselves and along with ourselves—Him.

Otherwise, we will not be able to feel anything. We do not feel anything outside of ourselves, but only if the qualities of the Creator enter into us and create this contradiction between the qualities of the Creator and the creation, as it is said: “God has made them one opposite the other.”

Therefore, the principle applies: “Love will cover all crimes.” On the way to achieving love, the goal of our development and correction, we must reveal all the sins prepared for us by the Creator in order to be able to attain perfect love.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/29/21, “Love Covers All Transgressions”

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“Is Spiritual Love Different From The Love We Know? If Yes, Can We Do Something To Nurture It?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: Is spiritual love different from the love we know? If yes, can we do something to nurture it?

The love we know, or corporeal love, involves loving whoever or whatever gives us pleasure. Spiritual love, by contrast, is built on feeling an inner distance, rejection, and opposition to others, and building love upon that distance.

In other words, the love we know is that which appears in our inborn ego, where we feel a natural attraction and closeness to one another. Each person who feels such love does so based on the calculation that they will ultimately benefit from that love. Such is the calculation of our egoistic nature, which is a desire to enjoy from other people and things. Therefore, according to the love we know—corporeal love—we feel love, attraction, and closeness to each other sometimes, and at other times, hatred, rejection and distance.

Spiritual love, however, requires feeling distance, rejection, and opposition to each other together with an attitude of love, connection and attraction that we build above those sensations. In our current reality, we cannot simultaneously feel love and hatred toward others, but we feel those sensations at different times. Spiritual love, therefore, requires great artistry in the spiritual process of rising above the ego to positively connect with others, and we need to become worthy of attaining that lofty level of love.

However, we are reaching a level in our development where we become increasingly prepared to experience spiritual love. On one hand, we see that the love we know is leading us into more and more problems. The bigger our ego becomes, the more we demand in order to fulfill ourselves, and the harder we find it to become fulfilled. On the other hand, we are getting prepared to become more mature.

Sweet food can help us see an example of this maturation process. Children usually like sweet food that is only sweet, but when we grow up, we often like to have sweet food together with or after something spicy, bitter or sour. The more we mature, the more we feel incapable of enjoying from one thing alone, but require the thing and its opposite.

We also see how if we had experienced only positive states in life, without the need to strive and overcome, and without feeling boundaries and criticism, then we would feel as if our life lacks something. We are built in a way where we desire to have graspable points for other calculations, and thus we develop a need to add bitterness, sourness and spice in order to taste and enjoy the sweetness. This tendency stems from the basis of our existence, where we—created beings—were originally created opposite from nature: Nature is a quality of love that solely wishes to bestow pleasure and fulfillment, and we are made of an opposite quality that solely wishes to receive pleasure and fulfillment.

Therefore, in order that we “taste the sweetness” of spiritual love, we need to attain the quality of love and bestowal that does not exist in our inborn receptive nature, and thus need to build that quality in us upon our natural rejection and distance from those qualities. This is possible with the guidance of a method—the wisdom of Kabbalah—which teaches the ways of rising above the transience and incomplete nature of the ego in order to discover the quality of spiritual love, which is eternal and whole.

Kabbalists have written about spiritual love—“Love will cover all crimes” (Proverbs 10:12)—where the “crimes” are the distance, rejection and opposition we feel in our ego. The more we implement such a form of love in our spiritual development, the more we will attain everything that nature laid out for us in order to attain our ultimate purpose of existence: the sensation of love in its perfection, wholeness and eternity.

Based on the Daily Kabbalah Lesson with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman on January 29, 2021. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

Photo by Tamanna Rumee on Unsplash.

Create Your Love

961.1True love begins when nothing is looked for in return. 
(Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

True. Beautiful! Clear, brief.

Question: Can you comment on this?

Answer: No. I cannot. It is expressed so clearly and correctly.

Where will you find this? There is an opinion among people that it is possible.

Question: But man has no power to do it?

Answer: No, it is not in human nature.

Question: By nature, man is unable not to ask for anything in return?

Answer: Of course. We must create this feeling of love for the other from the opposite feelings: from rejection, hatred, from all the negative properties, feelings, and thoughts. I must do it

Then it is possible to say that I love him—because I create my love for him. In general, what I basically feel for this person is that I hate him.

Question: That is, if I could simply, just like that, hate someone and then rise to love him?

Answer: Yes. Turn yourself inside-out. Then you can say that you love him. I love him. And the fact that this feeling arose in me from nowhere.

Comment: It is not easy.

My Response: Yes, but it is called love.

To love is to create an attitude toward another in yourself, an attitude of love toward the one you initially hated. Love can only be above hate! Otherwise it is not love.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/10/20

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You Must Know How To Love

294.3To love is not to look at each other, but to look together in the same direction.
 (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)

That is right. The same direction means that I must find in myself and in the other person a state resulting from our mutual relations. It is something beyond both of us.

Question: So now are you talking about the purpose of life we, that we advance toward one goal, love the same goal, and move toward it?

Answer: It means that we love each other precisely because we are aimed at the same goal.

Comment: What if we do not share the same goal?

Answer: Then it is not love.

Question: This is interesting. So, I cannot just love you and simply live this way?

Answer: No! There must be a third component; it is not superfluous.

There must be something outside of both people that connects them, unites them. It is the yearning to unite in this third part that results in the quality of love.

Question: What kind of a goal makes this love strong?

Answer: When they realize that they owe each other achieving this eternal goal.

Question: Can a goal be to build a house, grow a tree, or create a family?

Answer: No. Never! We are talking about an idea, an ideal.

Question: But what is it? What could it be? Can we talk specifically about this?

Answer: Only the attainment of the purpose of nature. Nature has created us, and we must understand the goal that it wants to bring us to.

Question: What goal does it want to bring us to?

Answer: To unity. So that together with us it can achieve the absolute meaning in this union! That is, it would become one common whole—us, all of humanity, and nature. Us, as a receptor element of nature, and nature itself as the filling element.

That is how it should be.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/10/20

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“How Do People Discover True Love?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: How do people discover true love?

We first need to understand that we have no idea what true love is. Until we reach true love, we interpret love in all kinds of corporeal and egoistic ways, i.e., where we primarily benefit ourselves from whatever we picture as love.

True love, however, is completely different. True love is the ability to benefit others, to sense others’ desires and to enjoy via their fulfillment. The realization of true love is by nature contrary to how we define love in corporeal terms.

True love is ultimately the unification of humanity into a single common system. We currently experience this system in its opposite form, through egoistic lenses, where we constantly try to benefit ourselves at the expense of others and nature, and by doing so, feel a certain degree of separation and distance in our attitudes to each other. By aiming to unite above this egoistic state we find ourselves in, we discover our rejection to each other, and eventually arrive at the realization that we need to rise above our differences, and forms bonds of true love. The more that we feel growing distance between us, the more we will develop a sincere desire to bridge this distance with a genuine attitude of love and care.

True love is thus the unification of opposites, when hatred and rejection become covered in a common umbrella of love. The more that we move toward unification above our inborn egoistic distance, then the more we will begin to sense a new kind of atmosphere entering our lives, giving us a much fuller feeling of fulfillment than everything else we have enjoyed to date.

The discovery of true love entering our lives is thus an opening to discover the perfection and wholeness existing in reality. Instead of feeling a narrow and detached sensation of life in our inborn egoistic qualities, we would “click” into a perception and sensation of reality similar to how cells and organs function and feel the whole organism that they are parts of. In such a state, we would feel constant fluctuations between the negative-egoistic and positive-altruistic poles of reality as we would continually cover our differences and divisions with a much greater force of unification. As such, we would feel ourselves in an eternal world where life constantly ebbs and flows.

When we transition from our inborn egoistic mode of wishing to benefit ourselves at others’ expense, to an altruistic mode of wanting to benefit others, we feel our instinctive egoistic impulses as negative forces that we rise above. By rising above the ego, we sense forces of connection, giving and love—the positive and eternal forces dwelling in nature—and complement each other in a common tendency to make that shift.

This fateful shift depends solely on the extent of our unification, where we rise above our differences and divisions and start fulfilling one another. The feeling of mutual fulfillment gives us a sense of eternal life.

To discover this true love, we need only learn how to upgrade our connections, to mutually complement and fulfill one another, and to replace our egoistic lenses where we see flaws in others, to ones where we feel any egoistic impulse as an invitation to unite above the differences.

Based on the Daily Kabbalah Lesson with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman on December 22, 2020. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

Metamorphosis Of Love

622.02Question: The altruistic force of love is the most important force in nature since it contains a creative and generative energy that begins, forms, emanates, and creates systems. Why is it called the force of love?

Answer: In our world, love is the attraction of a person to something from which he feels fulfillment, satiation, or something pleasant. He could be attracted to color, sound, shape, or anything else but people. And it’s the same in people.

Question: Very often, we hear from you as well as many philosophers that nature loves us. I am not even talking about the concept of the Creator, which is from the point of view of Kabbalah identical to the concept of nature. What does it mean that nature loves us and that we need to love nature?

Answer: Love is a law of nature. The mutual attraction to perform some type of common function makes it possible to continue oneself, etc. Particularly, we call offspring and reproduction the consequence of love.

Question: Human love is not built upon the good of another, but on one’s own good through the good of another. It is clear that there is no such thing as altruistic love. There is a huge difference between altruistic love, when you think only about the other and how to fill him, and human love. People cannot love just like that, without some self-benefit.

Frequently, our love turns into hate. If I love someone and all of a sudden he cheats on me, then my love turns into hate. Why is there such a small distance between these feelings?

Answer: Because you want to be fulfilled with this object and instead of pleasant fulfillment you get the absolute opposite from it in the end. That is why hatred appears instead of love.

Question: What should happen to a person in order for the feeling of absolute love to manifest in him?

Answer: If you rise above yourself so that no matter how others treat you, you will treat them equally well, then absolute love is possible.
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From KabTV’s “Communication Skills” 10/23/20

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Feel The Shades Of Love

621Question: There are two forces in nature. They can be called love and hatred, good and evil, plus and minus, forces of attraction and repulsion. It is the balance between them that creates harmony. Can you say that love means harmony between two forces?

Answer: It means mutual complementing. A person should simply see for himself that if he loves someone, he wants to give him what he wants, from which he will rejoice. And vice-versa.

Question: You very often use the words “connection” and “love,” and you never get tired of it. Do you feel something different every time?

Answer: Yes. There are new shades every time. Saying the word “love,” I always feel a new fulfillment.

Question: How can we learn this?

Answer: Only through feelings. I have already said that love and hatred are sensory concepts that are not used in Kabbalah. Kabbalah is a science that operates with clear physical definitions.

Love is the force of attraction, hate is the force of rejection. And it can be measured.
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From KabTV’s “Communication Skills” 10/23/20

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