Entries in the 'Love' Category

“What Does True Love Really Look Like?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What does true love really look like?

In the lives we currently know, true love is nonexistent. If we start rising to our next degree of development, above our current life, where we all come from, then we start discovering true love.

Today, there is a need to re-educate ourselves about love, even though life itself is doing most of the work for us. We need to realize that the instances of what we call love are but tiny sparks within an omnipresent higher love that gradually draws us to its discovery. And the discovery of this higher love is synonymous with discovering the meaning of life. It is a completely different feeling—an attraction, connection and fulfillment that is whole, perfect and eternal.

The ideas about love that propagate through novels, TV shows and films only confuse us. From a biological standpoint, we should by all means find suitable mates, raise families and our next generation. But more importantly, if we direct our aspirations spiritually, toward love for all humanity, then everything will fall into place.

Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

Let’s Talk About First Love

284.05Comment: Let’s talk about first love. You know, the first feeling is that you froze, something happened to you! Something skipped a beat, and you are ready to give everything and all your life, just not to break away. Just for her. This object is everything!

I remember the girl Tanya. I remember my first feeling when I looked at her like that! I wanted her to pay attention to me. And all the time I was looking for a place to be closer to her. All the time, just for her to pay attention! She didn’t.

My Response: This is natural. It’s the same for everyone.

Comment: This feeling is given to us.  It is unforgettable. Not in 20 years, 40 years, or even in 80 years does a person not forget it.

Answer: No, until the end.

Question: Do you remember your first love?

Answer: I also met her here in Israel when I was about 60 and she was the same age. She became very ill and died. Her husband called me and told me that Luda had died.

Question: Was it your unanswered love? In childhood?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Why is the first love not realized? Why? Such a feeling!

Answer: So that you can always dream about it. About the very feeling of love, about this feeling. And if you were to connect, you would ruin that feeling. In this way, the Creator places it among people, and it is in this spiritual form that you strive for, but it is unattainable.

Question: So it’s like the Creator says, “Remember this all the time”?

Answer: Yes. It’s sitting somewhere in you.

Question: That is, this feeling when you are ready to give everything, you forget yourself, you dissolve in the other?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Is this what gets into a person’s heart? Like a splinter. And is it there all the time?

Answer: Yes. And everyone has it.

Question: Whom do I love? I love her at this moment of the first love?

Answer: No, you don’t even see her as a matter of fact. You are looking at her not with the right eyes. You were just shown that there is some spark in her that attracts you, and that’s all. And you want to see that spark all the time.

Question: Is it in order for me to always look for that kind of love?

Answer: You don’t even have to look for it, you are just tied to it.

Question: So this is all happening for me to know that such love exists?

Answer: Yes. So that you know what striving means.

Question: And so you would strive for this?

Answer: Yes. But, as a rule, no one gets marrieds to their first love.

Question: Is there an upper force behind this, the Creator?

Answer: Of course, this all goes according to the upper program! This is very well thought through, we are brought up in this way.

Question: Can we say that this means that the next sentence will be: “The Creator is love,” “God is love”? Is that what He wants to tell us?

Answer: It’s at the end. This is after you have lived one and maybe more than one life, and have accumulated a few more such impressions from your first loves. Then you will feel what it really is—true love.

Question: Will I then feel that I did not relate to her, but it was all to the Creator?

Answer: No, of course, not to her.

You haven’t even seen her. There was a spark placed in her for you, for which you were striving all the time. Otherwise, there is nothing.

Therefore, it is very, very rare that people meet for the first time (at school or somewhere else), fall in love, get married, have children, create a family, and live the rest of their lives together. I’ve seen a few cases like this, but… I’ve always been very interested in looking at them.

As a rule, they have many children. Interesting. And they somehow understand each other very, very clearly.

Comment: These are happy couples.

My Response: Yes. This is very rare.

The first love is given, so that we realize that we need to seek eternal, upper, true love. Not a person to a person, and not a person to a party, and not a person to the motherland. Only to the Creator. Through other people—love for the Creator.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/1/21

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The Torah Is The Instruction On How To Achieve Love

527.05The Book of Zohar, vol.7, Behaalotcha, Item 58: Woe unto one who says that the Torah comes to tell literal tales and the uneducated words of such as Esau and Laban. If this is so, even today we can turn the words of an uneducated person into a law, and even nicer than theirs. And if the Torah indicates to mundane matters, even the rulers of the world have among them better things, so let us follow them and turn them into a law in the same way. However, all the words of the Torah have the uppermost meaning.

The problem is that people do not understand the Torah, they do not understand that it describes the laws of nature that we must comply with in order to exist in a correct relationship, in a correct unity with nature.

Its most important law is “Love your neighbor.” So it is written: “We should interpret that it is known that it is impossible to achieve love of the Creator before a person is rewarded with love of people through “love your neighbor as yourself,” which Rabbi Akiva said is a great rule in the Torah.

For a person striving to fulfill it, this law includes all the other laws of the Torah.

Comment: This is very strange because the Torah mainly writes about murders but nothing at all about love.

My Response: It writes about how difficult it is to love your neighbor as yourself. The entire Torah is written about this.

Question: So the Torah is the instruction on how to achieve love for your neighbor?

Answer: Only that!

Question: And what are the Ten Commandments?

Answer: In order to fulfill the law of “Love your neighbor,” there are 613 (Taryag) of all kinds of sub-laws. They are included in the Ten Commandments, which are included in one basic law.

Question: If we take at least one commandment, suppose, “Do not steal,” what are we talking about?

Answer: “Do not steal” is natural. Is it possible to implement the law of “Love your neighbor” and steal? In this law, there are more internal, higher, although seemingly irrational rules. But in principle, it starts with purely human relationships.
From KabTV’s “Spiritual States” 6/3/19

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“How Can I Win The Hearts And Love Of Other People?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: How can I win the hearts and love of other people?

You can win the hearts and love of other people by loving them, which means feeling their desires and doing everything possible in order to fulfill them. You will then act toward them in a way that they like and enjoy.

Based on KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” on April 12, 2021. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

How To Win The Heart Of The Other?

527.02Question: How can I win the heart of the other person?

Answer: Through love. By doing things that the other one likes if he is worth it.

Question: That is, I need to evaluate the person, then invest as much as possible in him with the intention of love. What are the characteristics of this love? How can you describe it?

Answer: It is bestowal. Love means that you feel the desires and needs of another person and do everything to fulfill them.

Question: Can you call this a spiritual phenomenon?

Answer: No, not necessarily. After all, if this is done to fulfill the egoistic desires of another person, it is called corporeal love.

Question: Can there be a higher, spiritual love between a man and a woman?

Answer: In this case, there is no longer a man and woman relationship between them, but a relationship between a giver and a receiver.
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 4/12/21

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“What Is Hate?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What is hate?

Hatred is everything that doesn’t benefit me.

While it is a negative quality, it has a positive aspect because with its help, we can check what we need to change in ourselves. We are surrounded by a humanity, a world and a nature that we need to treat with absolute love. If we relate to anyone or anything out of hate, it means that we lack balance with nature: to be as loving, giving, caring and kind as nature.

True hate surfaces as we head toward love. If we wish to progress to become as loving as is the quality of nature, then we find how hateful we are toward others. Through such a revelation, we receive clarity on what we need to correct within ourselves in order to reach a state of love.

The more humanity develops, the more we see expressions of growing hatred. Hate is a natural and easy release of our inner human nature, and the explosions we see from vitriol all throughout mass and social media, and events such as mass shootings, are all expressions of this hatred surfacing more and more. In all these cases, only our negative qualities manifest, since we have yet to acquire nature’s positive qualities in addition to our inborn egoism, and we thus seek only to use others for self-benefit.

Our egoistic human nature is behind all of our hatred, and we need to correct it so that it will invert to love. We can undergo this needed hate-to-love transformation with the help of connection-enriching education—which teaches how to connect above our hateful and divisive drives—and the positive force of nature that we discover through such education.

Based on KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” on March 13, 2017. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

“Why There Is Hatred” (Linkedin)

My new article on Linkedin “Why There Is Hatred

Wherever you look there is hatred. It’s no longer a matter of international relations, but within countries, societies seem to be splintering into smaller and smaller pieces, and each piece thinks it’s got a monopoly on the truth, making it entitled to deride, mock, but mainly hate everyone who thinks otherwise. However, there is a reason for this alarming intensification of hatred: Without it, we will not want to change ourselves.

Hatred is our inherent nature, as it is written, “The inclination of a man’s heart is evil from his youth” (Gen. 8:21). At the same time, the rest of nature also consists of a good inclination, and the two are balanced everywhere except in humanity. The reason we are created “handicapped” is that this is the only way to compel us to want the good inclination consciously, of our own volition, and choose to balance our inclinations rather than remain in our inherent wickedness.

Hatred is our inherent nature, as it is written, “The inclination of a man’s heart is evil from his youth” (Gen. 8:21). At the same time, the rest of nature also consists of a good inclination, and the two are balanced everywhere except in humanity. The reason we are created “handicapped” is that this is the only way to compel us to want the good inclination consciously, of our own volition, and choose to balance our inclinations rather than remain in our inherent wickedness.

On the one hand, it’s true that had we had both inclinations to begin with, we wouldn’t do all the damage we are doing to each other, to animals and plants, and to Earth. On the other hand, understanding the workings of reality would be impossible since we would naturally behave correctly with each other and with nature, without giving it a second thought. That would create perfect human animals, but we would never become human beings, which is the goal of our existence.

Now that the hatred is evident among us, we can, and actually must begin to cultivate the opposite quality. We must, because if we don’t, we will destroy our species, and possibly everything else on the face of the Earth, and we must, because this is the only way we can learn how reality works, the balance that exists throughout the universe and all of reality. Only if we develop the quality of goodness and love, the opposite of hatred, we will be able to witness firsthand how all of nature operates, and we would learn how to manage our lives successfully.

And the way to build this opposite quality is with each other. Just as now we hate each other, we should start building the opposite feeling. Just as nature doesn’t suppress anything but lets everything be in perfect coexistence, we should build this love among us on top of the hatred without suppressing it. In other words, we should feel the hate, and then make love more important to us than the hatred we feel, and strive to act accordingly.

The hatred is not redundant; it is essential to the process. We can build the opposite feeling atop the initial hatred if we realize that without feeling the hatred, we will never need or want to love, and we will therefore never know what love is.

Once we overcome a certain level of hatred, another level will emerge, a deeper, more sinister one. But it will appear only so as to cover this one, too, with love. And because the level of hatred will be stronger than before, so will the level of love we will build atop it.

Gradually, we will become grateful for feeling the hatred, since its reward is the increase of love. We will realize that we cannot love unless we hate first, and if we use it as an incentive instead of succumbing to it, we will become more loving human beings.

“What Life Lesson Did Your First Love Teach You?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What life lesson did your first love teach you?

Our first love gives us a wonderful feeling, totally overwhelming us and making us feel alive.

However, most of us don’t end up marrying our first love. It is as if we are tricked into receiving a divine taste, which is then taken away from us.

Why do we experience these elevated feelings that soon fade away?

It is in order to develop our feelings, especially regarding the special feeling of love. After losing our first love, we can then learn to work on ourselves in order to understand what love truly is and how to reach it.

We can then add intellect to the original emotion of love that we had from childhood, before our hormones developed, and which swept us into a frenzy. Afterward, we can discern how our initial feeling of love gave us a special sense of life.

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, we are given the elated feelings associated with our first love in order to show us that the light of love—an eternal creative force beyond our current perception and sensation of reality—is greater than anything else we feel in our lives.

We can bring this light into our lives by wanting to love as the force of love does: with no calculation of self-benefit embedded within. It was this same force of love that illuminated upon us and gave us the feeling of love through what we felt as the object of our first love.

We have the opportunity to reach a much greater sensation of love by thinking about the source of love from which we receive everything, including our first love. However, we have problems connecting the eternal force of love that is behind everything we feel (which is called “the Creator” or “nature” in the wisdom of Kabbalah) to the original juvenile love that we felt.

All love comes from the same single source. Hatred also stems from the same source, existing in love as its opposite, like the opposite side of a coin. We are given such emotions in order to develop ourselves and become as loving as the force of love itself—with no shred of self-interest in our love—and by doing so, experience eternity and perfection.

Therefore, the elated feeling of our first love is given to us and then stripped from us in order to help us work toward achieving it by ourselves. Love is the ultimate source of all life, the force of nature that creates, sustains and develops everything in existence, and toward us.

Instead of receiving an object of love and yearning with no choice, as we did with our first love, we can learn from such an experience in order to apply our own yearning to love all humanity, nature and the reality surrounding us. By doing so, we acquire the greatest possible love, and we all develop toward such a sensation. Everything happening to us ultimately comes to develop us in order to discover the perfect and all-encompassing love that exists in reality.

Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Nellia Kurme on Unsplash

“What Is Your Definition Of Love?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What is your definition of love?

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, love is the will to satisfy other people’s desires.

In order to truly satisfy other people’s desires, we need to understand them. Understanding the desires of others comes from sharing similar habits, qualities, thoughts and perceptions. Then we can know how to satisfy them, i.e., to express our love.

Love is thus felt according to a key law in reality called “the law of equivalence of form.” We all have different desires, but in order to establish a common understanding—the basis to reach love between us—then the intention upon our desires should be the same.

If we would each wish to reach a common love for one another above our desires, then we would form a common inner template through which we could know how to satisfy each other. We could then image each other’s desires within ourselves and understand how we would feel when receiving the same fulfillment.

Since we would share the same intention, we would be able to satisfy each other’s desires, and by doing so, experience love.

Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

“How Long Will Money Make the World Go ’Round?” (Linkedin)

My new article on Linkedin “How Long Will Money Make the World Go ’Round?

Business Insider wrote that an Oxfam International report found that between March 18 and December 30, 2020, the wealth of the ten richest people in the world increased by $3.9 trillion. According to the report, this gain alone, which those ten people had made in less than ten months, “could pay for everyone to get vaccinated and stay out of poverty.” At the same time, the report estimates that “between 200 million to 500 million people may have fallen into poverty during 2020.” Does it really have to be this way?

How long will money make the world go ’round? Until all of us understand that kowtowing to the ego is not the solution. Matters will keep going from bad to worse until we change our way of life, our state of mind, our motivation.

The only substitute for the ego, and which will create a world where we enjoy living, is love. That word, which we so readily disparage, is the only word we have to describe the most powerful force in existence: the power of giving.

Indeed, we have built a world that exalts nothing but money and power. Money grants power, which enables acquiring more money, which grants even more power, so in the end, money makes the world go ’round. And behind the zeal for money stands the ego, the engine that drives civilization. We have crowned the ego, let it build our society in its image, and now we’re paying the price for fawning on it.

Joe Biden plans to increase taxes on the rich in order to balance the load on the people and finance some of the financial toll wrought by Covid-19, but I don’t think it will work, not in a society where the rich are the powerful. If he goes too far, they can simply move him out of the way.

How long will money make the world go ’round? Until all of us understand that kowtowing to the ego is not the solution. Matters will keep going from bad to worse until we change our way of life, our state of mind, our motivation.

The only substitute for the ego, and which will create a world where we enjoy living, is love. That word, which we so readily disparage, is the only word we have to describe the most powerful force in existence: the power of giving. We may sneer at these words, ridicule and belittle anyone who merely brings up the notion of love or giving, but we’d be wrong to do so. Nothing is more powerful than love.

Think about this: Would you be here were it not for your parents’ love for you? Would this world be here were it not for the trillions of species that continually create and nurture their offspring? Despite the myriad destructive forces around us, life continues and even evolves because the power of life, the power to give and cultivate life, is stronger than all of them combined.

Until the beginning of the 20th century, this was also the situation in human society. But since then, the destructive forces of egoism in humanity have intensified to the point that they now pose an existential risk not only to our species, but to the whole planet. Now, we, humanity, must make a conscious effort to raise the power of love and giving above the power of the ego—the desire to take for myself whatever I can, however I can, and as much as I can.

The ten billionaires may be eye-catching examples of egoism, but if any one of us were in their shoes, we’d be the same and act the same as they do. The plague is in all of us, so only all of us can heal it. If we set our minds on it collectively, we can shift the paradigm from taking to giving, and become “parents,” progenitors of a world that operates on a new kind of fuel.

In the new world, no one will sit still until everyone is safe and cared for. Just as the whole body has no rest and no peace of mind unless all of its organs are well, so we will feel about every person in the world, that all are parts of me, and I cannot be at peace if everyone is not at peace.

Today, moving toward that mindset is a must. We have become so interdependent that unless we take care of everyone, everyone will suffer. If we take on this mindset, we will blossom. If we eschew it, then we have sealed our fate.