Entries in the 'Family' Category

New Life 1318 – Coping With Violent Communication In The Family

New Life 1318 – Coping With Violent Communication In The Family
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

The education system needs to teach children how to behave in relationships. Children who grow up in families with violent communication will likely feel insecure and want to escape. They should withdraw from their violent family environments in order to succeed in building new, corrected patterns. They need positive examples to learn from. The first principle we should teach is the principle of equality. If someone relates to us with verbal violence, we reflect the same back to them, like a mirror image, so they will feel their need for correction. Behind the principle of equality, there is a desire to be built by each other, to build the right patterns for ourselves.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1318 – Coping With Violent Communication In The Family,” 9/12/21

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New Life 1316 – Quarrels In The Family

New Life 1316 – Quarrels In The Family
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

In a corrected life, we scrutinize the conflicts between us with the intention of reaching love and peace above them. In order to quarrel correctly, we need to learn the method of relationships that is explained in the wisdom of Kabbalah. Men and women are innately different.

Quarrels should be regarded as the necessary revelation of each one’s nature in contrast and opposition to the nature of another. The natural gap between them can be bridged when we openly express our preferences, respect each other’s views, set a good examples for one another, and establish mutual understanding.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1316 – Quarrels In The Family,” 8/15/21

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New Life 1315 – Relations With Grownup Kids Who Have Left Home

New Life 1315 – Relations With Grownup Kids Who Have Left Home
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

A long time before kids leave home, we need to get them used to calling their parents once a day and visiting them weekly. It is important for the parents to share what they go through, to show that they care, to ask questions, and to set an example. The parents should prepare their children for the phase of leaving home and raise them to be independent.

Kids who have not received the right preparation for life will feel weak, and will find it hard to build themselves and establish a connection with a life partner. Parents should give their children a sense of security, guidance, and a feeling that we are always there for them.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1315 – Relations With Grownup Kids Who Have Left Home,” 8/8/21

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New Life 1311 – Quarrels Between Siblings

New Life 1311 – Quarrels Between Siblings
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

There cannot be contact and connection without feeling limitations and conflict with others. Siblings don’t feel each other if they don’t quarrel, but they may have difficulties with communication. Fighting over toys is natural between toddlers, and parents should not intervene as long as there is no physical harm. If a child cries to his parents that his sibling has done something to him, the parent can hug him, but shouldn’t take sides.

Quarreling for the sake of harming others is unacceptable, but otherwise it is a part of normal life. Quarrels strengthen the connection and love between us if we know how to rise above the feeling of rejection. Parents should not fight and should play with their children to provide an example of how to behave properly. To sum up, we should let siblings develop freely in order for them to become experienced and wise.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1311 – Quarrels Between Siblings,” 7/4/21

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New Life 1306 – Relations In The Extended Family

New Life 1306 – Relations In The Extended Family
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

The family is the nest in which a person grows. People who grow up without family support encounter problems throughout their lives. They lack the power that family provides. Modern civilization destroys our connection with family. It is impossible to solve family problems unless we teach people how to reach connection and love between them by overcoming the human ego. All the connections between family members will fall apart until we discover that we need a new quality of connection in general.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1306 – Relations In The Extended Family,” 5/9/21

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The Mystery Of The Unification Of The Masculine And Feminine, Part 4

511.01Why Has the Balance in Family Life Been Disrupted?

Question: What prevents a married couple from managing their egoistic nature? After all, they both want to be happy with what they create between them.

Answer: A couple doesn’t fully understand where they are, which forces influence them, and why everything in the corporeal world is divided into male and female.

In our world the relations between the created being and the Creator are somehow imprinted in the relations between the sexes, although there are masculine and feminine attributes in both males and females.

However, we cannot come to any connection with each other. Still, when we establish any connection with each other we see that to the extent that we develop egoistically from one generation to the next, we actually draw further away from each other. It seems that we can get closer to each other in the sense of gender these days and to understand each other better, but it isn’t really so.

The ego that develops awakens even greater resistance and rejection in us. Throughout human history men and women always knew what fate designated for them. A man had to provide bread for the family and a woman had to manage the home.

A home is the woman, and she is responsible for managing the household and for raising the children, and the man has to provide all their needs. A couple understood that this is how they shared their responsibilities and so they carried the burden of life. It stemmed from the nature of family life as their grandfathers and grandmothers and fathers and mothers set such an example for them.

Suddenly, about 100 years ago all this began to fall apart all over the world. It did not matter whether a country was developed or not, the breakdown was the same. It took place in all the conservative and orthodox communities, and even in fanatic Islamic communities.

The plan of creation brings us to the point that we cannot do anything. Our egoism has grown so much that we can no longer leave the woman at home so that she can bring up the children and cook while the man goes out to work. This is impossible today, and so we ask ourselves, “How do we continue to live?”

This is where the revelation of the wisdom of Kabbalah comes in, in order to explain to us what the right relationship between a man and woman is because today it is impossible to achieve it in the same way as in the past.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 3/3/19

Related Material:
The Mystery Of The Unification Of The Masculine And Feminine, Part 3
The Mystery Of The Unification Of The Masculine And Feminine, Part 2
The Mystery Of The Unification Of The Masculine And Feminine, Part 1

New Life 1305—The Influence Of The Environment On Interpersonal Relations

New Life 1305 – The Influence Of The Environment On Interpersonal Relations
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

When we enter a new environment we are not aware of the degree to which it influences, changes, and shapes us. The influence of the environment on us is like the influence of the womb on a baby. The family environment should be protected by softening one’s heart before entering the home and by playing creative games together in order to feel the family connection.

A protective family bubble should be built around it so that a foreign spirit cannot break it apart. A family should speak about what is external to it, what is internal to it, and how to guard it from any harmful or hostile external influences.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1305 – The Influence Of The Environment On Interpersonal Relation,” 4/25/21

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“What Are Some Ways To End Child Abuse?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: What are some ways to end child abuse?

The ultimate solution to end child abuse is the same solution to end all of our problems in our time: to work on our connections so that they become positive, and that we will prioritize concern for others over self-concern.

If mothers, for instance, came together and connected in order to change society, so that a mutual concern would blossom around children and babies, then this concern would bridge all distances and boundaries. Such a concern would become expressed through these mothers connecting several times a day, and the creation and consumption of programming that they would make on the Internet, the TV, and the radio on the topic, which would raise awareness of what children go through both at schools and in their homes.

If such a concern would spread throughout society, even if only among mothers, then it would change the picture regarding child abuse, as well as several other problems children experience. However, it is currently far from the case. They feel no need to connect in such a way. Each mother cares only about her own children, which is insufficient.

Ending child abuse thus involves generating a supportive environment through sharing the same concern, that all of us together will take care of this common problem, where we will care for other children in addition to our own, and others will do the same. Until we reach such a mutual concern for each other’s children in society, then we will continue seeing more and more unfortunate cases of child abuse.

We need a special force here, a unifying force that will influence society, and unless mothers come together and unite, then this force will elude us.

Based on New Life episode 1147 with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman, Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum-Moshe. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash.

What Will Happen If All Women Return Home From The Workforce

583.03Comment: Years ago you said that jobs would be lost, businesses would fail, and the world’s economy as a whole would decline.

It is interesting that the problem of the whole world will be what to do with the unemployed. The most important thing is that people will have to receive not only the means to exist but also some meaning of life, a way of self-realization. Business magazines that usually write about money and work are suddenly writing about these notions being important.

My Response: Because this is a problem: what to do with the unemployed population. Imagine all working women returned to their homes. And at least another 10%, say half of the men, also lose their jobs. Only about 20% of the world’s population will still be working. All the others are not needed. In other words, they do not need to work if they are doing unnecessary work.

What to do with them?

Question: This is their first question: what to do with the people who are part of the unemployed population?

Answer: Fully engage these people with studies and education. Only education can change the world. For this purpose, these billions of people are now being freed up.

Question: Do you see the upper program in this? Are billions of people being freed up to start studying?

Answer: Yes. So that they are re-educated into humans.

You open doors and let out a few billion people in order for them to sit at desks, at computers, in some kind of halls, anywhere, and start learning to be human. Humans in the highest sense of the word.

Question: Are you talking about learning how to relate to each other?

Answer: Not just that. Understanding the program of nature, the purpose of nature, the purpose of your own development. Which way they are headed, where they are going, so that it will be clear to them how they are controlled by the forces of nature. They do not exist in some kind of misunderstanding, in some kind of oblivion, but they are affected by forces, and they understand the impact of these forces and are in an organic mutual connection with them. Thus, they move forward in understanding this entire program.

Question: Are you saying that we have been dealing with the consequences all this time, and now we have to study the reason? Why did we appear in this world?

Answer: Yes, of course!

Question: Isn’t this the destiny of some unique, talented people?

Answer: No, absolutely everyone should learn this.

Question: Will a person accept this?

Answer: Yes, this will go down very well!

Question: Do you think a person will get into finding out why he came to this world and what is the purpose of his coming?

Answer: There are no problems, this is how it will be.

Question: Another most important question I read in an article is: Will the people have to get not only a livelihood but also a new meaning of life?

Answer: This is the most important thing.

Comment: That is, these two questions are connected. Humanity, 2 to 3 billion people have been freed to understand what they exist for.

My Response: Yes, and all the rest of humanity will get this through them as well. There is no way to escape this. It all depends only on the way we do it, quickly with little blood or with great loss and suffering.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/5/20

Related Material:
What Will 70% Of The World Population Study?
Slaves Of The 21st Century
Why Do You Want To Live Like This?

“On The Merits Of A Three-Generational Family” (Linkedin)

My new article on Linkedin “On the Merits of a Three-Generational Family

Today’s family often has only one adult living at home with the kids. But come Thanksgiving, I’d like to take a moment to discuss the merits of a full-size family. And by full size, I don’t just mean two parents and children, but rather grandparents, parents, and children all together. That is, they needn’t all live in the same house, but the benefits of keeping close family ties are something we should be aware of, especially today when it is so easy to find ourselves socially isolated and not realize that this is the reason for our sadness and irritation.

In spirituality, the three generations have a special meaning: They represent the full process of the ascent of a prayer. It begins with a person raising a prayer, sending it through a “medium” to the top level, and the top level returns the answer through the medium down to the beseeching individual.

This spiritual root manifests in many phenomena in our world, but one of the most vital ones is the three-generational family. This is why it is so mentally and emotionally healthy to maintain ties with all the generations in the family.

In addition to the spiritual benefits, grandparents can give to children what parents cannot. By nature, parents are more judgmental and demanding. Being the primary educators, they have to be that way. Grandparents are more accepting and give the children a place where they can always feel that they are loved the way they are. This is very important for children. Additionally, when children see that their parents treat their own parents well, they, too, will treat their parents well when they grow up, since example is the most impactful and lasting mode of teaching.

To the elderly, time with their grandkids is no burden; it’s a gift (to a degree, of course, as much as their health and energy allow). They enjoy being with their grandchildren, it connects them to their own children, the parents, and gives them vitality and health. To the parents, the children’s time with their grandparents is an opportunity to be with one another or do other things that they have no time or energy to do otherwise.

When parents get an occasional break from their kids, it helps them relax and allows them to be more thoughtful and patient when they are with the children. It also increases the longing of the children for the parents and the parents for the children, and nothing bonds people more strongly than the right amount of longing.

This Thanksgiving, I wish everyone a happy holiday, with lots of love and with the whole family.