Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

The Mystery Of The Unification Of The Masculine And Feminine, Part 1

595.01The Mystery of Nature

From the only source, which is the Creator, two forces descend. One of them is the power that relates to Him: the property of bestowal, love, emanation.

The other is an artificial force created by the Creator that did not exist before the beginning of creation —the property of receiving, absorbing, which then became an egoistic property.

Both forces exist in the entire nature of the upper worlds and in our world as a plus and a minus. They are created opposite to each other so that we, who represent the property of receiving, the negative egoistic force, can use our properties to determine the opposite positive force, the Creator, and create certain interactions with it, unification, as in an atom.

One force does not exist separately from another. We always measure, see, feel, and find them in some sort of positioning relative to each other.

Therefore, the negative force in which the Creator created us is necessary precisely in order for us to find, define, and feel Him as a positive, emanating force, and thus be able to begin contact with Him, to detect, define, feel, approach or move away from Him.

In other words, to see what state we are in with respect to the Creator to determine the possibility of absorbing His properties into ourselves.

How can we make ourselves negative to Him as if we are both negative and positive? This is a very difficult question, and even more so its solution.

This is not just the disclosure of the mystery of the unity of minus and plus, the Creator and creation, but the disclosure of how creation develops, reaches its completely opposite state to the Creator, and begins to feel this state as absolutely harmful, unsuitable, and intolerable, and then does everything in order to ascend above it and start to create something positive from your negative self.

How is this possible? After all, creation cannot change its nature in any way. It turns out that it can only change the application of its nature. That is, although I am created completely negative, I can transform even my negative properties, motivations, and actions so that their final result is positive. And how to do it is really a mystery.

We cannot imagine it, that is why we say that this is a secret. We are absolutely not yet in it, but we are in our egoistic negative properties.
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From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 3/3/19

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When There Is No Inner Fulfillment

926.02Question: Do you think that today many people are asking the question about the meaning of life?

Answer: Yes. Even within our organization, there are already millions of them from all over the world.

On the other hand, we can see from the level of depression, divorce, terrorism, and drug addiction that this is an escape from life, and only because a person cannot find an answer to the question about the meaning of life.

Drugs and depression are the main scourges in the world. And there is nothing we can do about it. In Northern Europe, suicide accounts for a huge percentage of all incidents.

Comment: It turns out that the more developed people are, the more prone they are to depression.

My Response: They have everything, and they have nothing. This is what our development and our relations should bring us to.

It would seem that there is nothing wrong with us. We have everything: refrigerators, washing machines, television, radio, Internet, computers, dishwashers, mixers, anything you want. What else does a person need? You can rest, and work less. Why do you have to work so hard? There are many unemployed people, right? We can divide the working day between several people and rest the second half of the day. But what will a person do then? He cannot fulfill himself, he will feel completely lost.

I remember when I was at school, the teacher told us how happy we would be when we grow up: “Today people work eight hours. You will work for four hours, and the rest of the time you will rest, play sports, walk in the forest or by the river, and so on.”

I grew up, and it turned out that it is better not to walk in the forest or by the river because they are full of nitrates and acids. Even at the sea, I swim only in certain places, and then after that, I need to wash thoroughly. And we are now working not for eight, but for twelve hours. People come home only to get enough sleep and run to work again.

So what have we come to? Where is this freedom of a person?

Comment: Today a person can no longer even be with himself without being busy with something.

My Response: Yes, he is afraid to be alone with himself. This is why he keeps himself busy with work.

Question: Do you think that the desire of a woman to make a career is also an escape from her nature, from herself?

Answer: This is an attempt to somehow fulfill what her family, husband, and children cannot give her. No more than that. In fact, a woman does not need a career, after all, it is all artificial, unnatural, and even harmful. We will see the proof for that later. The same is true about a man.

A person should not work for twelve hours a day, or for ten, or for eight. We should work not on the basis of how much I can earn in a day, but on the basis of how much I need in order to exist normally.

We should not violate nature, suck it dry, pollute it, because in the end, we find ourselves in a world where we now have to work in order to somehow correct our mistakes.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/11/09

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By Inner Instinct Or Egoistic Calculation?

627.2Comment: Many people who get married try to draw up a prenuptial agreement in such a way as to win at the expense of the other party.

My Response: Naturally. Our egoism already implies this. Why do we create a family?

A woman gets married because she sees that she has a reliable partner with whom she can have children. And he will provide for the family as much as he can.

She looks at him as a serious support for her future children, like a female looks at a male who must provide her with everything necessary for reproduction and raising offspring. This is a woman’s natural attitude to marriage.
Talk to biologists and psychologists about this. This is the only way we choose.

But the problem is that we have moved away from nature. Animals choose according to their scent, to their inner instinct. A female sees that it is with this male that she will be able to create the most optimal family and raise offspring. This is how nature arranged it.

But in humans all sorts of distortions are superimposed on this. For example, a man is interested in the length of a woman’s legs, whether she graduated from university, what the environment will say, or something else. We are very confused about each other’s assessments. But if we were acting by nature, this would, of course, be ideal.

Question: Why, when drawing up marital contracts, do men try to avoid the question of how to provide for their wife? They try to take everything from their wife, even if the children stay with her.

Answer: Why do women go for it? Why is such a contract drawn up? The most important thing in a family contract is to give a wife the opportunity to give birth and raise children. This is what a family exists for.

Comment: Today men do not want to get married at all, they are satisfied with civil marriages. Apparently, this is the answer to the fact that a woman who wants to start a family agrees to such conditions and signs a marriage contract.

My Response: Or because the state assumes this part of providing for a woman with children whose husband leaves her. Therefore, she subconsciously considers these options, and realizing that she can get help from society, from the state, agrees to such an agreement.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/19/09

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Egoism Breaks The Boundaries

508.2Comment: A few decades ago, the human factor was emphasized in the relationship between men and women.

My Response: Today, this factor does not exist at all. Even then, a man was very small, ostentatious. Men and women played flirting games with each other. It was a superficial, external culture.

But inside, it wasn’t like that. People had a little selfishness, less demand on each other. They were more dependent on society: I can’t get a divorce, I’m held back by some social framework, laws, and conventions.

None of this is happening now. I calmly talk about everything: who I am, what I am, what my sexual inclinations are, what I have on the side. And nothing. I’m free, I’m an adult, and that’s it.

It turns out that the family in this form cannot exist for a long time. We are leading ourselves to its final disintegration. This is only hindered by the fact that there are still various societies in the world, for example, Catholic and Muslim, which are against divorce.

China and India have not yet outgrown their traditional framework. Wait a couple more years, and we’ll see the world in a perfect farce. Then people will finally understand that they have broken all the boundaries with their egoism and made themselves unmanageable. And without control, we go into such chaos that a person just has to close their eyes to not see anything. This is the only way he can be saved.

It is then that people will come to understand that they need to know the source of nature, why this happens, how to correct themselves and their attitude to nature. And then they will need Kabbalah.

Question: What does it mean to correct yourself?

Answer: To correct means, without limiting yourself, to properly manage your egoistic nature. Egoism is good because it moves us forward. But it moves us incorrectly, because we are under it, we indulge it.

And if we can manage it properly to move toward the goal set by nature, if we see our future, which in principle is already prepared for us, then we will achieve universal harmony.

The problem is that a person does not know what is ahead of him, what will happen today in a minute, and even more so tomorrow. And Kabbalah reveals this perspective, and it becomes clear to us where to go. And then immediately there is a correct analysis of good and evil, what needs to be eliminated and what does not.

But today, everyone judges the world by himself, everyone believes that he is right. And so the world is what it is.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/11/09

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Joy Of Birth Or Misery Of Parents?

626Question: New research shows that after the birth of a child parents are less happy. About a million parents were interviewed. Parents talk about financial difficulties, about needing a bigger apartment and a bigger car, that children require money, and so on.

What do you think about the news that parents do not feel happier after the birth of a child but the opposite?

Answer: There is no family. A family is when there are three generations. These three generations are not together. The three generations are the grandparents, the father, the mother, and the newborn. They provide the correct foundation, confidence, knowledge of childcare, family structure, and support to the family in everything. They should be an example, they should live together.

In modern apartments, of course, there is no room for this. However, it is desirable to live together. Otherwise, you will not understand what a family should be like, its origin, and the way it existed for thousands of years.

Question: Do children feel that their parents are not very happy about the fact that they had children?

Answer: Of course! The child feels it perfectly; he feels the entire surrounding atmosphere.

Comment: That is, even if they are talking quietly in the kitchen: “Look, we need to spend more money, we need to change the apartment. Why did we do this?”

My Response: All of it is reflected in everything. The child was in the mother’s womb, and now he is in a larger space and feels this space.

Question: So, if there are such thoughts, do they all influence him?

Answer: He feels them all, absorbs, and reacts accordingly.

Question: Even if parents think that it has become harder for them, how should they behave?

Answer: It does not matter that it is harder. They must be prepared that it will be harder. Of course, it will be harder! It becomes harder every day, and it will be harder for them until they die. They cannot escape it, this baby will get bigger and bigger, demand more and more, and so on.

However, they must understand all this and support each other for the sake of the child’s development. This is a very complex system, and it must be supported by society, the government, and the family. And certainly by the closest family!

Question: And what then is the joy of bearing a child?

Answer: To see your future in it, that children are born, and that they will be the continuation of the family. I am not talking about anything spiritual but simple everyday life.

Question: How did this gradually disappear?

Answer: Our egoism has separated us, divided us, put everyone in his own corner, and that is it. This is how it works. It is good for the ego when each of us is inside of himself and cares only about it.

Comment: And even about him, the closest and dearest one, we say that he is a burden to us.

My Response: He is not the closest and dearest. We say that he is a burden to us, he prevents me from taking care of my child, the one within me!

Question: Does it mean that my “I” is the closest and dearest?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What have we come to! I wonder what will happen next?

Answer: It is going to get worse. We will get to the point where we will all run to different corners, hide in our own corner, and not want to communicate with anyone! That is all! I will just be ordering myself a pizza and a coke, or something like that.

Question: And what will happen next?

Answer: Humanity must see the dead-end. Once we realize that this is a dead-end, then revelation will come from this dead-end: that we cannot continue like this.

I think we need to come to an understanding. That is, there should not be wars, there should not be any riots, excesses, but there should be clear awareness of the hopelessness and utter futility, and then we will start thinking: “What should we do?” Then we will remember: “Wait, I have heard something from Kabbalists.”

Question: “There is a book on my shelf, there is a clip,” and so on. Will a person look at it and start moving toward correction?

Answer: I am sure of it.

Question: So we must put everything on shelves, in computers?

Answer: Of course! We have no other choice.

Question: Even if we come to the same conclusions all the time?

Answer: It does not matter. If you have a small child who is growing and developing, you still have to tell him what to do, how to behave correctly. You cannot just leave it.

Question: In what will the correction of humanity be?

Answer: In learning to come closer to each other. They need to come out of seclusion, from their corners, and connect with each other in the right way. In the end, they will discover in these right connections the positive force of nature, the Creator.

Question: Why have we not discovered this until now?

Answer: We did not need it. There was no recognition of the evil of our nature. Everything was all right. We had everything: sports, football, all sorts of lures, everything you want, everything you need. Live peacefully and enjoy.

Question: Will there be a greater need to connect?

Answer: There will be no choice. Only hopelessness will lead humanity to the solution that there is a need to change the paradigm.

Question: If a person can hear you now, what decision should he make and what should he think about?

Answer: What the right life should be and what needs to be changed to make it happen. And to see that it is not so difficult. All the means for it are there. Let’s do it!
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/8/21

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Why Do Love Marriages Break Up?

627.1Question: There is this problem in the world: people cannot find a reliable life partner. So there are many dating sites, people are searching for each other in the media. Still, most of the time, they find no one.

In Japan, they even introduced artificial intelligence to match pairs according to character, genetics, emotions, and so on. How do you feel about matchmaking?

Answer: Positively. What is good in the fact that some guy starts a love relationship with a girl? What happens there? They have children, they are forced to marry.

It is better if there is a matchmaking origination where they look in advance who is suitable for whom. Humanity has existed continuously and for many thousands of years in this way in all cultures. There is none of it today.

Comment: In England, there is a method of determining by smell: you come in, you smell something and say “This is my smell.” And they say: “This smell suits this girl. Or this guy.”

My Response: This is very important to us. The cells that react to smell cover a big area in the brain.

Question: Can it be that this British method is quite advanced?

Answer: It is not advanced. It is natural and old.

Question: Does it mean that to a large extent, I even determine my partner by smell?

Answer: Undoubtedly!

There is no doubt that by this we are attracted to each other  by this or distance from each other even unconsciously. What about all that perfume and so on? It is natural.

However, this should not be the criterion. We should approach each other not on the level of smell, although this is also very important, and not on the level of other various tastes, but on the level of understanding our correct aim to the purpose of creation. If we were all aiming for the correct purpose of creation, it would be much easier for us to find a partner. After all, in principle, we would not be separated from each other. We would not split up. This purpose would unite us all.

Comment: For young people, it is way too exalted to talk about the purpose of creation.

Answer: And what happens in the end? It turns out very low. They will not invent anything new. They get something like love for an hour  and that is the end of it.

Question: What should they understand?

Answer: They need to understand why they are getting married, why they need to tie up their life with a certain person. In the end, you still will not be able to create married couples. They will meet, have children, and run away from each other.

Question: How can one find a lifelong partner?

Answer: Only the final purpose should hold us together.

Question: Why do I look for a partner? Why do I get married?

Answer: In order to reach the final goal together with my partner through correct connection with him or her. Yet, I also need friends for that.

The purpose of creation is to reveal the upper force that manages us. To understand and attain what we exist for, what happens to us, who controls us, and where it leads. That is what we need to reveal so that we open our eyes to where we are.

Question: Does this thirst have to be in him and in her, in the guy, in the girl, and in general in all people?

Answer: Yes. You must discover this need and together with your partner gradually move toward it.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/14/21

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Knowledge Of Kabbalah Is Indispensable

962.2The science of Kabbalah is revealed to the extent that humanity is disappointed in its development.

Gradually, we will come to a state where humanity will understand that we have a means by which we can push the boundaries of this world, see the second half of creation, and understand where we are going. When we combine these two halves of nature into one, everything will become clear to us. Then we will find happiness, including in marriage.

I do not think that without the knowledge of Kabbalah, a person will be able to build a proper family, raise children. This is absolutely out of the question.

The current school and the current relationship between boys and girls does not give any happiness and fulfillment. Therefore, we cannot do without Kabbalistic knowledge of how to raise children, how to organize children’s groups and education at school, and how to build a family and social relations between people, groups of people, and between nations.

All this we will see only from the part of the world that is hidden from us—the spiritual half. Seeing the second half, we will be able to correctly build the first one.

Let us hope that people will want to see it, take the Kabbalistic method of revealing the world and make their lives happy. At least for the sake of our children.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/11/09

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Replenish Yourself For The Benefit Of Another

631.2Question: What happens when we study Kabbalah? Do men and women start to feel their nature?

Answer: First they begin to understand and then feel that they are completely opposite of each other: in body, mind, awareness, and in the vision of the world. We have just blurred this distinction so much that we do not even pay attention to it and it seems that it does not exist.

We think that in this way we can come to some kind of mutual understanding, gender equality, and so on. This is not true. We must clearly understand the difference between a man and a woman, because when each of us is in the right position, we can add, and replenish ourselves for the benefit of the other.

Kabbalah talks about how we need to unite with each other while preserving our contradictions and even making them more prominent. When I show a woman that she is a woman in my eyes, and show her myself as a man, we do not immediately introduce ourselves into some kind of intimate relationship.

We speak at the mental, emotional level, at the level of upbringing and interaction. By this we show how opposite we are, but at the same time how we can complement each other. Kabbalah explains how a man and a woman should be interconnected.

It seems to us that in nature such a connection, for example, between a male and a female, is much simpler. It is actually not that simple. We do not see their internal differences, how they interact with each other. If we correctly accepted our differences, this would lead us to a completely different culture, sphere of communication, and construction of other social institutions.

We would communicate in a completely different way at work, on vacation, and in interactions between families. We would have other TV and radio programs. Games, sports, everything would look different.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/11/09

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How To Find True Love

627.1Comment: Anna writes to you: “Is there no love in this world? If it is not there, what do you say, what does this world hold on to? I am 22 years old, I want to meet someone to love. I want not just connections, not just families and children, but that everything will be imbued with love. It’s possible, isn’t it? How do you come to this? ”

My Response: I don’t think this is possible.

This is only if she begins to engage in raising herself to the next stage of development where she will feel the meaning of life in rising to the level of the meaning of life, that is, above this life, from where this life comes. I wish it for her.

I understand that this sounds very rude, but at this level we will not find any justification for our dreams, impulses by ourselves. None. We need to retrain young people, but they themselves retrain from life. They are much smarter today.

Question: What should they learn, what should they come to?

Answer: That there is no love in the sense they dream about.

This is their reflection of the highest love, which pulls a person to the meaning of life. There is a completely different feeling, attraction, connection, and fulfillment. One has to reach there, it is eternal, perfect.

Comment: So many novels, TV series, and other things inject a person with this infusion of this love.

My Response: It only confuses people! All motives of a person should be in the spiritual direction, and there he will find the answer to everything.

And from a biological point of view, you have to find a suitable match for yourself, start a family, take care of them and continue your family. As was the case in all traditional families until the 20th century, or, say, until the 18th century.

Either the parents looked for the husband and wife to be similar to each other, or they found a pairing in the immediate environment, from the same village, from the same district, from the same circles. And there were strong families because they were looking for someone similar to them.

Question: What advice would you give this girl Anna?

Answer: I wish her to look for a husband who would suit her not for love, but for aspiration, tastes, in the likeness of his parents. She needs to get to know his mother and see if she is like her. That is, does this Anna look like the boy’s mother? And if she looks similar, then this is already a guarantee of a strong family. A man should see his wife as part of his mother.

Question: Is she in it?

Answer: It doesn’t matter what she sees in him. The main thing is that when he sees in her a part of his mother, he will already treat her with caution, with love, with fear, like a child with a mother.

Question: And then can it even be called love?

Answer: Of course. What is love if not attachments and habits? As my teacher used to say: “Love is a beast that needs to be fed a lot with concessions. And when it grows up, then it can be called love.”
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/22/21

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At The Intermediate Stage

559Women have achieved a lot in this world because they took upon themselves the functions of upbringing and education. They almost unnoticeably came to the forefront and, as they say, “spin the world.”

And men were originally created by nature in such a way that they must fulfill women’s desires. But when this goes to the detriment of correct interaction between men and women, the world takes the form that we see.

Comment: Today everything happens precisely in the opposite way. A woman makes  a career believing that she is bestowing more, and a man is kind of a receiving side.

My Response: Today we are at such an intermediate stage where we have not yet figured out who we are and what we are. We are moving from the old world to a new one and everything is changing very quickly.

At this stage, we must understand that we have wandered into a wrong place, destroyed natural animal foundations, broken away from them, and followed our egoism that guided us to the wrong place.

There are two properties in nature: bestowal and reception. We only chased reception and misused it. Our egoism, which is developing and pressing on us in every generation, has led us to a common global crisis.

This crisis includes education, upbringing, family, interactions between a man and a woman, between children, all our social relations: the state, the world, ecology, economy, science, culture, and so on.

It will simply not work, and we will have to solve this. And then it will lead us to understanding why all this has happened and what we should do next.
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From KabTV’s “Close-up” 8/11/09

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