Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

There Are Only Two In Love

294.4In love are two. The whole world around is the scenery (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry).

My Response: This is natural because you see nothing else. If you love, you love only one thing or one person and nothing else. Love cannot be 360 degrees. It can only be narrowly focused. We have no other choice, no other option. Even take a mother who loves her children so much. All the same, if we fully understood her condition, then, probably, she treats the smallest with the greatest love.

Question: But everything else, as it were, helps this love and only exists for it?

Answer: Only this way, yes.

Question: Is this the way to love?

Answer: Spiritual love implies such a state of a person when he sees all of humanity as one single whole, as one united person, and he loves him.

Because he discovers that with such an attitude to this common, unified image he sees the Creator in him. He builds such a communication system with Him that he begins to feel in this the whole of nature, all of humanity, all of the present and the future. Other ideas about the Creator are untenable.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 11/18/21

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What To Do If You Can’t Forgive

627.1Question: Lyudmila writes: “How can you to learn to forgive a person who offends you and does nothing to be forgiven?”

Answer: I think that, of course, this is too high of a bar, but it begins and ends, in principle, with the fact that we do not see a person in front of us, but the action of the Creator. And therefore, theoretically, we do not need to be offended by anyone. If we correct ourselves, in this way we will correct everyone else and we will see the whole world as kind and good.

It all depends only on ourselves, on our perception of the world. We live in ideal conditions, in an ideal world, among ideal people, and everything that I see around me as vicious, it all just indicates that I need to correct myself.

Question: Can we assume that this is practical advice?

Answer: This is practical advice. True, it is very high, deep, and so on. But, in general, there is no other way out. That’s the only way.

Question: And if you want to be closer to an ordinary person?

Answer: There is no other advice, regarding someone closer or further. There is one truth, and it must be gradually put into practice from the conditions in which we are, even before the higher ones that will be revealed to us. They will be revealed and we will see truly terrible worlds, terrible relationships, terrible states, and we will also have to correct them, up to final correction.

Today the time has come to tell people about this because we have no other way out. We can’t do anything, we can’t fix it, we can’t sweeten it, nothing. We’re just dragging and dragging the time of correction. And now we need to start explaining to people that we can’t do anything, we can’t fix either others or ourselves.

Question: Not even ourselves?

Answer: But this is good. You have only one address to which you must turn, demand, and shout, and thus you will see that only this opportunity that exists in front of us is the only one and successful, and it will lead us to the goal.

Question: Then please tell me what is “to forgive a person”?

Answer: This is to forgive yourself for treating him unfairly, for believing that he is a source of evil. We have only one source of evil. This is not even my egoism, but the one who created it, and the one who supports it in this way specifically so that I would turn to Him, ask Him, realize, and thus we would get closer to the truth.

Question: Based on your words, will the ignition and increase of egoism continue, increase more and more?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Is there no chance that it will stop?

Answer: On its own? No way. The Creator’s task is to make man a Man, Adam. “Adam” is from the word “Adomeh,” similar to Him. So we must become similar to the Creator. Therefore, He does whatever He wants, only so that we will need Him.

Question: In what ways should we become similar to the Creator?

Answer: In the quality of absolute goodness, which we would want to take upon ourselves against the evil that the Creator awakens and manifests in us.

Question: What is good according to the “opinion of the Creator”?

Answer: Treat another with love.

Question: A lot of people think that they do treat someone else with love.

Answer: There are degrees here. With love, this means that I absolutely do not take my state into account, but put the best state of another at the forefront. He’s the only one I care about.

Question: Am I not important to myself at all?

Answer: No. And, in principle, it all comes down to the fact that, again, looking at all the evil in the world, I turn to the Creator so that He corrects me. And I would see good instead of evil.

The Creator seems to us to be the source of absolute evil, but in fact, this is not so. This is only for us to ask Him to change us, our nature, which He specially created in this way so that we would strive for the quality of goodness.
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From KabTV’s”News with Michael Laitman” 10/25/21

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What Are We Looking For In Each Other?

294.2Question: Why is a woman looking for a person in a man, and a man is satisfied with her more external forms?

Answer: A woman, first of all, looks at the human potential of a man, and he looks at her appearance, i.e., he is satisfied with the animal level.

The man is attracted to the animal. A woman reaches out to the person. This is absolutely natural because these two objects—a man and a woman—represent Zeir Anpin and Malchut, where Zeir Anpin is the upper, who is the source of light, life, and pleasure; therefore he has no way to get any fulfillment from a woman. He looks at her as the lowest degree because she is really below.

But he depends on her desire, on what she receives from him, on what makes him want to give to her. As a result, the proper interaction makes them absolutely equal to each other.

But initially in the search, a man as a masculine principle in the spiritual world is always looking for the feminine part of desire that stands below him because it is below the quality of bestowal, fulfillment. And a woman is looking for reliability in a man that will fill her.

Question: Is the woman’s demand when she asks a man why he does not see her as a person justified?

Answer: Sure. It comes from nature. But if they are correctly matched with each other and complement each other, then they see that they are absolutely mutually equal.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up—Centaurs” 1/15/10

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There Is A Woman Behind Every Successful Man

290Behind every successful man, there is a woman (Proverb).

Question: Is there a spiritual root for this phenomenon that a man feels more confident if a woman helps him?

Answer: I think that it is a necessary element of life. Moreover, I am saying this based on my own experience and from what I felt in my life, in my profession, and in the support my spouse gives me. If not for her, I would hardly have been able to endure much of what I have endured. I had tremendous physical, mental, and spiritual trauma, loss, and difficulty.

A wife in this regard is the kind of support without which it would be very difficult for a man. She replaces his mother. The fact is that a man does not give birth and does not enter that different phase like a woman who from a girl becomes a woman, a mother. A man does not have this transition. Therefore, he constantly needs female support just like a child needs his mother’s support. We understand these interactions.

When a man is engaged in such serious work as politics, science in general, daring work requiring a huge return of internal energy, physical and mental matter, then he needs psychological support even more than physiological.

And, of course, the spouse who helps him without interfering in anything but gives a feeling of support, this is internally necessary for the man. This has a high spiritual root.

At our root we are a single being where the masculine and feminine are intertwined. And it is from this common root that I must draw strength. But I can feel them better if I feel a devoted woman next to me who helps, supports, listens to me, and gives me attention. This is very important. And therefore, it is a law for a Kabbalist, he cannot be single.

Moreover, I have not seen this being an indispensable condition in any other practice. In Kabbalah a bachelor cannot advance spiritually. This spiritual root is so deep that a Kabbalist must be married.

It is not just having a home and being attended to but having a woman who performs internal, mental, and functional duties called “a wife.” This is the definition, the category, the image. This is a very difficult thing. I can see from my students how much it influences them.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up—Two-Headed Eagle” 1/1/10

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Building Trust In A Relationship

962.5Question: You say that it is an art to build trust and good relations in couples. It can come after many years of crises and mistakes. What is the key principle in the art of building trust?

Answer: There are two things. The first is to understand that we are egoists and have been through different crises in life. The second is that from now on we want to build correct and good relations and to enjoy life.

Question: How do you define the concept of trust in a couple?

Answer: It is about setting an example, relating to your partner with an open heart, and receiving whatever comes from him or her as something that is basically good.

Comment: I see that you have great trust in people.

My Response: Not at all, but there is no choice. We need to know how to feed our egoistic beast so that it will agree to connect with our partner so we will live a life of joy.
From KabTV’s “New Life 1327 – Building Trust In A Relationship” 12/12/21

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What Will Change Our Reality?

571.03Question: Can we say that the female part is seemingly animate relative to the male part and that the male part represents a higher or “human” degree?

Answer: If male and female parts complement each other correctly, then a “centaur” is born, sort of a combination of an animal and a person in a human.

Question: How can we make this combination correctly? If two people strive for spirituality, does everything get harmonized by itself?

Answer: This is not easy to implement In our world.

We are just now starting this path. There are still a lot of pitfalls ahead. But I hope that in the end, all divorces, discords, family breakdowns, separation of children from their parents, a person’s hatred even toward oneself, drugs, and those wild fanaticisms that we see (and in the future will see even bigger ones) can be resolved, and this is only if we begin to strive for a higher goal.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Centaurs” 1/15/10

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“Why Do So Many People Get Divorced Each Year?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: Why do so many people get divorced each year?

A very large amount of people get divorced in our times because their love eventually turns into hatred, and no one teaches them how to build a relationship that treats both love and hatred as necessary in a healthy relationship.

How are both love and hatred necessary in a healthy relationship today? It is on the condition that we can navigate these opposites so that they complement each other, thereby strengthening the love.

By learning how to navigate the complementarity of these opposites, hatred will then never shatter the relationship, making us want to break up, but will act like a spice that adds flavors to a constantly-blossoming love.

We need to discover negative aspects about our partner, and to do so precisely in our desire to strengthen our love. Then, negative phenomena in our relationships would not cause us to run away from our partners, but the resistance would only strengthen the love, and we would feel our love grow more and more.

Based on the video “The Need for Love to Cover All Crimes in Relationships” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

The Domestic Violence Convict Will Be Horrified And Reformed

284.03In the News (rfi.fr): “France is launching an experiment that uses virtual reality to stop men convicted of domestic violence from reoffending.

“Already tested in Spain, the technology offers a ‘total immersion’ experience by way of a headset that allows the offender to view things from the point of view of his victims. …

“‘It’s a kind of empathy machine’ that highlights the emotions felt by victims and ‘makes men understand fear,’ explained Guillaume Clere, founder of the Reverto start-up, which collaborated on the project with the French Justice Ministry. …

“‘Studies have shown the correlation between low cognitive empathy and violence,’ Clère told AFP. …

“The headset device ‘has the ability to fool the brain’, explained Géraud de la Brosse, who is running the project for the French Directorate of Prison Administration.

“’It is a way to open a dialogue with the perpetrators,’ he told La Voix du Nord news site.”

Question:  The goal is to make criminals realize and feel that they have harmed others. Confront them with an aggressor who is like them and acts just like them. The idea is that they will find themselves in a position of weakness and understand what happened. Will they understand this?

Answer: This is, of course, an interesting idea—to put yourself in the shoes of the victim. This can be taught. I think this will help fix it.

Question: So they can suddenly realize and be horrified: “I was like this?!”?

Answer: Of course they will be horrified. If this is done correctly, then it will have a very strong impact.

Question: Do you think this is really a parenting moment?

Answer: This is the moment of education. After all through this you explain to the person and show him who he is.

Question: Can we say that this is the revelation of evil?

Answer: Of course this is the revelation of evil, the most real. I am for it. The idea is good. If the technique works, then this is very interesting. This immediately leads to repentance. And then, as a consequence of this to correction, remorse, and so on.

Question: Can we say that a person will no longer commit such a crime if this experiment passes?

Answer: No. I do not know how much this will affect a modern person who experiences constant external irritations that confuse him all the time, it depends on what they are and against what crimes it is used.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/4/21

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The Correct Connection Between Men And Women

917.01The correct connection between men and women means that a woman gives a man her desire and a man can fulfill it correctly.

When they create a family together, the female part, the desire to create, manage, and continue the race, causes the need for action in the man. It is the same in spirituality; the female part, cleaving to the male, gives him the opportunity to move forward because only for this is he willing to work and do something.

In our world, this happens in slightly selfish and disfigured forms. But if it were not for women, then men would have been playing games all their lives or playing war, nothing else. And thanks to women, the world is somehow moving forward more rationally.

Therefore, there is no need to make any complaints toward either men or women or to accuse men of looking for an external, animal part in a woman, while a woman is looking for reliability, a future, and such in a man. These relationships between them come from nature.

Biologists, geneticists, and psychologists talk about this. That is, the female part is more rational, and the male part is more disconnected from life. And their correct balance is possible only if we grasp Kabbalah.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Centaurs” 1/15/10

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New Life 1327 – Building Trust In A Relationship

New Life 1327 – Building Trust In A Relationship
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Without trust, life is impossible. It takes artistry to build trust between spouses. We must care for the other’s needs, knowing that when things are good for my spouse, they are good for me as well. If I make concessions and do good deeds for my spouse, I oblige them to do the same for me. When transgressions arise, we must talk with an open heart about our love for our spouse and focus on our common intention to build a good life together, starting anew from a clean slate.

We need to reach a state where we don’t lie to each other whatsoever. If we were hurt by our partner, we can tell him or her that we were hurt and learn together how to improve. I should give an example of relating with an open heart and see what comes from the other as something good. Although we may have passed through difficulties, we want to build good and proper relations and have a good life together.
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This summary was written and edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman
From KabTV’s “New Life 1327 – Building Trust In A Relationship,” 12/12/21

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