Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

“International Women’s Day 2019: Nature’s Recipe for Gender-Balance”(Thrive Global)

Thrive Global published my new article: “International Women’s Day 2019: Nature’s Recipe for Gender-Balance

“The human is the inclusion of male and female, and the world cannot be built, if male and female are not both present” (The Book of Zohar).

International Women’s Day is upon us again, and this year’s keyword is “balance” – the idea is to drive gender-balance across the world.

The aspiration behind wanting to create balance is good and correct. It comes from a genuine desire to find wholeness, completion and perfection in the interaction between the men and women of the world. But what is gender-balance? How do we determine where the balance is? If we look for it through our own eyes – whether as a man or woman – we’ll only see things partially and incorrectly.

When it comes to balance, we need to see things from nature’s point of view.

There are two opposite forces working throughout all of nature and they manifest through various forces, actions and beings: plus and minus, protons and electrons, heat and cold, ebb and flow, inhaling and exhaling. Or in our case – male and female.

If we try to eliminate or disregard the differences between any instances of nature’s two opposite forces, then we’re attempting to meddle with nature. Trying to turn a plus into a minus will ultimately cause trouble, even when we can’t see it in the short run.

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, men and women can only complete each other when the purpose of their relationship is to discover the deeper force of nature that binds them together. As it is written, “man, woman, and the divine presence between them.”

The deeper binding force of nature is one. It is not masculine or feminine, not a plus or a minus. It’s the only true oneness there is. Men and women need each other to rise slightly above the human ego, and discover that force together. To do so, they each need to activate their unique attributes and complete each other. So instead of focusing on how men or women can rise separately, we need to be thinking of rising together.

It’s no coincidence that the drive to find new balance between the genders has become so prominent in our time. Humans are evolving to find a higher experience of life, and this is why we have a yearning for a greater sense of wholeness. But harmony can only emerge when opposite forces complement each other.

The difference between male and female is not a “gender difference.” It is an infinite gap that stems from the very nature of creation. We don’t need to be the same. We need to stay different, and learn how to complete each other.

— Published on March 3, 2019

A New Day—A New Life

Laitman_725Question: Can you give an external example of spiritual balance and where it manifests itself?

Answer: No, because our world is not an example of the balance of spiritual forces.

There is nothing spiritual in our world. It is needed only in order to bring a person to internal unity. Therefore, isolated negative forces are working here. There are no positive forces, although they do work sometimes, it is only in an inverse state in order to bring us to the correct recognition that “There is none else besides Him.”

Question: Perhaps it is possible to see this in an example of a family where at the moment harmony and love reign, but everyone remembers quarrels and discords that happened yesterday or the day before yesterday?

Answer: Nothing is forgotten. However, if both spouses consciously balance themselves and they both have a clear aspiration toward the correct connection because they understand that there is evil on both sides and relative to it there is some kind of good and they want to balance them, then they neutralize the evil and keep it under control. This is more or less how the spiritual system exists.

Comment: You often give the example of your relationship with your wife. If you had an argument in the evening, then in the morning you do not remember it and do not talk about it.

Answer: Nothing like that. The next morning, I remember everything and so does she. Yet we have decided that we will start every morning with a clean slate, and therefore we act as if nothing had happened.

There is a covenant between us and we try not to break it. This is good, serious spiritual work. We agreed that the next day, we will not recall the past. Once the day is over, it is crossed out.

Question: Does a person understand that this is good for him, that he can circumvent all troubles this way?

Answer: Otherwise, you will not be able to maintain a marriage for so many years. We have been married for 50 years!

Question: Where one can get the strength from? From the Creator?

Answer: No. Here, you just need the desire to keep the marriage. You have to develop a certain system of behavior.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/17/18

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How To Speak With Your Heart

laitman_963.7Remark: A woman’s heart beats a little faster than a man’s: 70 beats for men and 78 for women. However, in couples living together, heart rhythms and breathing become similar, especially if their relationship is close. So claim scientists.

But even if people just do something enthusiastically together, their hearts become attuned to each other.

My Comment: This is the influence of people on each other. They become attuned if they work in the same team even if there are no close ties or shared hobbies, a single task or atmosphere.

The person’s influence on the environment is multifaceted. We see that people who live in a country acquire a common mentality, and if they live there for a long time, then they even acquire the features of those who inhabit this country. This does not depend on the people, but on the land itself where they live.

Question: How does it carry out in Kabbalah?

Answer: It is a very different story in Kabbalah. The fact is that by studying Kabbalah, we connect with each other not on the earthly level, where we live on the same land, breathe the same air, and become affected by the same, say, radioactive environment or some other parameters about which we do not even know.

We are passionate about our common goal and that is where we see ourselves. Moreover, we can see ourselves in this common goal only when we dissolve into our friends.

Therefore, in Kabbalah such union and interconnection develops that does not exist in any other form of human interaction. In Kabbalah, it turns out that we do not simply resemble each other, we create a system together, in which we become conjoined parts, and one cannot exist without the other. Therefore, everything is a degree higher here.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 10/2/18

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What Prevents People From Conceding To Each Other?

627.2Question: What prevents a woman from conceding to a man and vice versa?

Answer: Kabbalah does not deal with these problems. It suggests first rising above our egoism and only then arranging all kind of relationships: between parents and children, between men and women, between nations, and between everyone else. However, first we need to learn how to rise above our egoism.

That is, first men need to correct the connections between men, women between women, and only then in the family, in the society, and in all of humanity.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 4/29/18

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The Foundation Of The Family

Laitman_049.03Question: In the material world, people of the same mentality, soulmates, are more suitable to become a couple. What does being a soulmate mean? Do opposites attract in spirituality?

Answer: No. There is nothing good in being opposite. There is no need to think too much about this and try to build our life based on some novels.

It is desirable to be similar, especially in spirituality. Physically, of course, we are different. For example, male properties prevail in me and female properties prevail in my wife. There is nothing you can do and, frankly, you should not. However, the general direction in life is very important, otherwise we will not feel what is important to our partner.

If there are children in the family, it somehow fills our life. But, as it turns out, this is not enough any more in the modern world, and we no longer wish to marry and have children. Therefore, a real family is one with a common spiritual purpose.

Question: Does it mean, in your opinion, that people with different properties and mentality cannot live together?

Answer: No, our world will become more and more divided.

Question: What about spirituality?

Answer: If I feel that it is desirable for me to be close to this person in order to achieve a spiritual goal, then I will be with that person even if he or she is not very pleasant to me or I do not like some of his or her properties. We work on a spiritual level.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 2/25/18

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Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips – 1/28/18

281.01Question: If a woman has her own picture of the world, is the meaning of life also slightly different for her?

Answer: A woman wants to have a family, to organize herself, her children; that is how she feels realized.

Question: In the wisdom of Kabbalah is there a difference between the meaning of life and the purpose of life?

Answer: The meaning of life is in the achievement of adhesion with the Creator and the purpose of life is to bring all of humanity to this.

Question: Why are there contradictions on the level of our world that are unresolved? Are these obstacles that the Creator has set up on every level in the world?

Answer: Certainly. It is impossible to solve problems at their own level, in our world. To solve problems, it is necessary to ascend to the next level where they all come from. Therefore, our world always only discovers its own failure.

Question: Why has the Creator given people the possibility to feel each other and help each other if there is no higher meaning in it?

Answer: There is a higher meaning in it! Through these problems, lack of understanding, collision, and more and more dependence on each other in our global world, we are gradually reaching the need to connect together into a single whole. Then, within this single whole we will discover the singular upper force that created us as a single system, as a single person.

Question: Was there more suffering a few thousand years ago or were people less sensitive?

Answer: It could be that masses of people suffered more, but they felt it less.

Question: Was a primitive person happier throughout history?

Answer: Yes, everything that he had was from nature and it was good for him.

Question: Does the process of attaining the meaning of life depend upon knowing the laws according to which the world was created by the Creator?

Answer: Certainly. In principle, we learn all of these laws through the unity between us. So we don’t need to desire unique knowledge. All that is necessary is seen and learned through experience.

Question: Throughout the life of a person there is suffering. Does this mean that the meaning of life can be summed up as adhesion with the Creator, is this liberation from suffering?

Answer: Even liberation from suffering is included in the meaning of life, even though this is not its meaning. That is because attainment of the Creator is accompanied by tremendous happiness and joy, a feeling of eternity and wholeness. But these are all secondary feelings.
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From a Kabbalah lesson in Russian 1/28/18

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Paradise Without Men

Laitman_036In the News (The Points Guy): “When Kristina Roth isn’t busy catching flights, she somehow manages to head up an all-female island.

“That’s right, an island for women only.

“Roth is the founder of SuperShe Island, a health-focused luxury destination off of Finland that’s exclusive to women. …

“For Roth, the island is solely for encouraging women to build themselves up to be confident enough to do whatever they want in life. Her ultimate goal is to gather women from around the world to come together to relax and grow. But don’t assume Roth hates men — she doesn’t. As she puts it, being on vacation with men can sometimes be a distraction for women—‘whether it’s to put on a swipe of lipstick or grab for a cover-up.’

“According to Roth, women tend to be sidetracked by the presence of men and therefore she wanted to give woman another option in focusing on and reinventing themselves.”

Question: Is a woman’s paradise without men possible?

Answer: In principle, women in our time can independently provide themselves with everything necessary. Therefore, the question is really different: is there an inner psychological and spiritual need for the relationship between women and men?

We follow our desires forgetting that we live in the vast system of interaction. It is no coincidence that nature created us this way. At the beginning of evolution, the first primitive organisms were unisexual.

Then there was a division into two parts, and these parts, precisely on reciprocity and oppositeness, complement each other at all levels and in all aspects: physiological, physical, moral, and spiritual. Together they reveal the upper force between them.

Speaking in the language of Kabbalah, in the correct conjugation between the quality of bestowal and the quality of reception, a birth of spiritual progeny takes place—or revelation of the Creator.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman 02/13/18

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Understanding The Nature Of Women

627.2Question: Why do women try to prove their independence from men? What do they need it for?

Answer: Women feel their dependence on men; so, they need to prove that they are independent. Men should take this into consideration, understand the feminine nature, and give in to it.

It is very important for women to feel support, a shoulder to lean on. Women need a home, a family, and children, much greater needs than men.

Therefore, it is important to be considerate of these desires given to her by nature, which she must fulfill. Otherwise, she will constantly feel herself pressured, unfulfilled, unrealized, unsure. Men should provide this to women.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/31/17

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How To Resolve Conflicts In The Family

 Laitman_095Question: You say that happiness means resolution of conflicts. How can families solve them in order to avoid arguments?

Answer: This is a very interesting system: when together with your spouse you reveal some flaws, not in each other but in your relationship, and you come together to solve them.

It is always “between us” and “we are together”: in both negative and positive states. First, we stick together, and then we begin to reveal how to make the connection between us even more effective. We work on this by finding out what we lack for even greater connection.

Such actions must be done constantly because in this way we will grow spiritually. Spiritually! It is not about the contact of bodies or hearts.

Question: Let us assume that I have a conflict in my family. What should I do?

Answer: First of all, hug your spouse tightly and reach some kind of contact, mutual understanding. When you achieve this, initiate the conflict together to gain even greater mutual understanding.

That is, first one needs to build the contact, and then slowly initiate the conflict situations so that they contribute to even greater contact.

Question: When is the moment of real happiness?

Answer: When you work on this. If you work on this together, both in good and bad, you will have a feeling of constant happiness. The process itself brings pleasure.
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From The Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/17/17

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Union For The Sake Of Birth Of The Soul

laitman_938.05The whole of reality is created as a result of the spreading of Light that created desire “out of nothing” and then developed it. Starting from the Big Bang, the desire increasingly coarsened, and so waves, gases, and inanimate matter were created.

Then on Earth appeared plants, animals, and man, who undergoes many stages of development until he reaches similarity to the Creator.

It is interesting that the Light and the desire are imprinted in the creature as two kinds: male and female. Male and female qualities, following the example of two spiritual Partzufim: Aba (father) and Ima (mother), Hassadim and Hochma, connect with each other and give birth to a new generation of masculine or feminine.

Connection between a man and a woman is special, because on one hand they are opposite to each other, but on the other hand, they feel that they have a common goal. The common spiritual goal unites them so much that they act together and give birth to offspring. From this, it is clear where the concept of family comes from and the natural desire to live as a couple, to give birth, and to grow its own continuation.

We all are one family. Not only grandfather and grandmother, father and mother, and children, and so on from generation to generation, but all men and all women in general are one family, descendants of Adam and Eve. There is a big difference between spiritual men and women.

The result of our connection with each other, a child that we can give birth to, is called “a soul.” When we present this connection to the Creator, He gives a spirit of life to it. In this soul, in the correct connection between us, we reach adhesion with the Creator, as it is written, “Man, woman, and Shechina (Divinity) between them.”

The main thing is to know that our connection with each other must be for the sake of building a soul. This means that without friends, I cannot obtain a soul.

If I connect with my friend through my desire to receive, then the desire to bestow is participating from his side, and vice versa—if from his side, the desire to receive, then from my side, the desire to bestow. We always act between each other as Zahar (masculine quality) and Nekeva (feminine quality) that exist in any creature.

Most importantly, a connection between us should be organized, and as a result, it should give birth to the soul. I always expect this from a friend and I myself respond in the same way. With each contact, conversation, or any joint work, we construct our souls at every moment, that is, a place for revealing the Creator, so that the upper Light will fill our communicating common desires.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/19/18, Preparation for the World Convention 2018

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