Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

What Is a Strong Family Built On?

583.06Question: What kind of marital union can keep a family from falling apart? What are the roles of the woman and the man in such a union?

Answer: There must be proper upbringing. No matter what happens, throughout your life, thousands of different situations and adventures may occur with each of you, but you know that you have a family, and it is your obligation to support them and stand by them. As long as you live, you must take care of them. That is first and foremost. As for feelings, well… What feelings? You cannot build anything on feelings alone.

Comment: You have said more than once that a man looks for his mother in a woman.

My Response: That is true. A man looks for something of his mother in a woman. And if he finds it in her, that ensures his attachment to her.

Question: So, if a woman understands that he is looking for his mother, does that make the union work?

Answer: Yes. That is why it is said in the Torah that our forefathers would bring their brides into, say, their mother’s tent. And the brides would live there. And after the bride had lived with her mother-in-law for a while, the man would marry her.

In other words, she learned from his mother how to take care of him, what to do with him, what he likes and does not like, how his mother cooks, how she does everything, and so on. She watched everything and learned.

Comment: So she learned to be a mother to her husband. That is certainly a paradox.

My Response: How is that a paradox?

Comment: She came there not to learn how to be a wife but to learn how to be his mother.

My Response: You cannot imagine how attached a man becomes to a woman then. If she reminds him of his mother, he will look at her like a child does! He will constantly catch his mother in her.

Question: And he will never want to get divorced?

Answer: Never! How could he get divorced? Leave his mother?

Question: So, you do not abandon your mother?

Answer: That is correct.

Comment: And what about the phrase a wife says: “Go to your mommy! I am not your mother! Let her bake your pies for you!”

My Response: You see what kind of arguments people make! “I am not your mother!” That is the problem.

Comment: And there must be a high percentage of divorces because she does not take on this role of being his mother.

My Response: She must understand that the only way to keep him, to make him hers, is this way! There is no other way. It is written in the Torah, written in the Bible, simply in black and white.

Question: So, maybe you are telling us the secret behind all divorces right now, and we do not need any psychologists?

Answer: This is the secret of clear-cut relationships. Until the end of his life, a man will see his mother in his wife and will never run away from her.

Question: And what is the man’s role in the family, then?

Answer: If he is attached to her, what more is needed?

Question: So, this is her security? Is that what she seeks in him?

Answer: Yes. Nothing else. He will do everything to make her happy. He will give her compliments every day.

Question: And he will earn money and work?

Answer: He will do everything, of course. I know this for sure. This is human nature.

Question: What does a woman need from a man? Is it this sense of security?

Answer: First and foremost, attention. Attention to her, to the children, to the home. So, once you get married, that is it! The bride goes to live with her mother-in-law and learns from her all about her son’s weaknesses. And she learns how to deal with him as a woman. Here and there, she knows how to say or do something that reminds him of his mother. He falls for it immediately, instantly, and forever.

Comment: And he will do everything she wants.

My Response: Yes. He needs this. A man does not give birth; he remains a child, and that is what wins him over.

Question: So he remains a child? All the time? Even when he is 70 or 80 years old?

Answer: It doesn’t matter!

Comment: People will not exactly be outraged, but they will ask: “What about the man? It is all about the woman, the woman.”

My Response: The man must provide everything the woman requires. Nothing more is needed. That is in the material sense. But spiritually, everything is different—the opposite.

In other words, the man’s spiritual development is not the family’s concern. It is not. It is a privilege, a prerogative. I don’t know how to put it. It is solely his personal choice. In this respect, he is the man and the head of the family. But this is regarding spiritual development. As for the material side—the woman.

In spiritual development, the man is in charge; in material development, the woman is in charge.

Question: If the man is in charge of spiritual development, then is the woman’s role to give him the opportunity to work on his soul?

Answer: Yes, of course.

Comment: And then he will also provide her with everything she needs.

My Response: Twice as much!
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 7/16/26

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For a Child, a Father Leaving Is a Betrayal

571.04Question: There are still solid marriages. For example, I have been married for 38 years. You are already approaching your golden anniversary.

Answer: Indeed. But I live between my wife, children, and my group. This is not a normal life either. I cannot be an example. Especially given my natural characteristics.

But divorce, I have never even considered it. I never thought that I could get divorced and leave my wife and children. No. I bought an apartment, transferred it to my wife. It is only in my wife’s name, not in mine. I have nothing at all! Seriously.

I took care of the children so that everyone was provided for, got an education, a home, and everything else. Getting married is a must! So I would be able to do my work in peace. That is all; the most important things.

If you have children, you must take care of them. Children are the most important.

Question: Is divorce a disaster? The child feels that he does not have a father or a mother.

Answer: The child suffers from the absence of either parent! Mom or dad. Of course, mother’s absence is worse. But still, so is the father’s. It leaves its mark. This is not forgiven!

Children consider their father’s departure from them as a betrayal, as a divorce from them. And they do not forget that. They cannot. That is, they feel that Dad has left ME. And this, of course, is very difficult.

Question: What if the love is gone?

Answer: What love?

Comment: They say: “Love is gone.” That is how people justify themselves.

My Response: Where did it go? I do not understand that word. I only know one thing: if people live together, if they are normal people, if they are more or less understanding and well-mannered, they can create conditions where they are comfortable together. Not great, they are not happy, but they are comfortable together.

Question: So, they form an alliance of convenience?

Answer: Of course! And what is marriage in the first place? Joint household! When you believe you can support each other, help each other, and are satisfied with that. That is first of all. And everything else, if you mean sex, it changes for a person every few years in other directions.

After all, we all live five times longer today than people did 200 years ago. Not to mention 1,000 years ago.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 7/27/26

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The Difference Between Female and Male Nature

571.01Question: If we speak about the Kli that needs correction in the feminine gender, does it mean women should primarily be the ones to engage with Kabbalah rather than men?

Answer: Why not seat the women in front of the books instead of us, while we go home to watch a football match?

A woman is the desire for spirituality (Hisaron). The feminine in Hebrew is Nekeva, from the word “Nekev” (a hole, an empty space). One who feels a Hisaron for the divine, specifically for the Creator, and wishes to become similar to Him in qualities, is called “Nekeva.”

Nekeva is a Kli that must be corrected and receive the filling of the light. These Kelim, as we previously discussed regarding our forefather Abraham, are passed on to his descendants. And this inheritance is transmitted specifically through the male line. It is the men, and not the women, who receive the Kelim.

Here too there are two degrees. A woman is more connected with reality, with nature. It is precisely this factor that determines a woman’s function in our world and her desires. It is difficult for her to rise above her nature.

Whereas it is much easier for a man to disconnect from reality. He is not as connected with nature, and therefore makes mistakes in this world far more frequently than women. Women behave much more rationally than men. They are realists by nature, more resilient and stable. We see this in everyday life.

But the desire for spirituality has no connection with one’s biological sex. It depends directly on a person’s ability to rise above their nature and aspire to the divine. Women, according to their nature, are not capable of this in the same way as men. In accordance with their qualities, men have far greater potential to rise above their nature.

Therefore the Hisaron (lack or yearning) for spirituality does not come according to one’s biological sex, but according to the extent to which a person is more worthy of rising above nature, and aspiring to divinity.

Thus, it is specifically the man who is obligated to study the inner part of the Torah, to engage in spiritual work. A woman, however, is not obligated. Only to the extent that a genuine need for spirituality appears in her does she also need to undergo the process of correcting the Kelim. But how many women have a true desire for spirituality?

Therefore she needs to examine how genuine her desire for spirituality is. If she has the basic things corresponding to her nature—a home, a husband, a family, children—and after that she continues to aspire to the divine, then her desire is genuine, and she has the “correct spark.” But if she seems to aspire to spirituality while lacking these basic things, then it can be said that she is simply seeking fulfillment as compensation for her unfulfilled material desires.

Why don’t we examine a man in the same way? Because a man does not have the same intense need for a family, a home, a wife, and children as a woman does. He is detached from these animal desires, and therefore such a test is unnecessary. Of course, we do examine men. He should be married, have a family, be connected with his home, and be obligated to work.

A woman is not obligated to work. The home is the place of her work according to the female nature. Do you understand how different her orientation is from that of a man? According to the laws of every state, a man is obligated to provide for the family and a woman to manage the household. Such is the attitude toward them even now in the twenty-first century. And this is not subject to change; it is a law of nature. Therefore women and men are evaluated differently in accordance with their inner structure.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/3/26, Rabash, “What Is, ‘There Is None as Holy as the Lord, for There Is None besides You,’ in the Work?”

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Why Must a Kabbalist Be Married?

627.1Question: Why must a Kabbalist necessarily be married? What is the basis for this?

Answer: A home, a wife, children, and responsibilities are essential so that one may make efforts in our world akin to the spiritual level of the inanimate (Domem).

When you correctly manage all this on the earthly level, understanding that this is necessary for achieve resemblance to the spiritual, this too becomes a condition four your spiritual advancement, and all your efforts are taken into account.

Question: How did this work in your case? You spent practically all your time with your teacher. You didn’t seem to place such a strong emphasis on family.

Answer: Regardless, my family was constantly beside me. So much so that my children also became connected with my movement toward spirituality. They take an active part in it. And no one forces them.

Question: But your wife surely must have thrown tantrums from time to time?

Answer: Never! I cannot even imagine what tantrums she could possible make. I provide the home and the family with everything necessary, and I ensure that the family lacks nothing. I make sure there is always food on the table, clothes to wear, all the basic necessities in the house; that is, I provide a normal standard of living. This is a Kabbalist’s primary concern, this simple earthly, fundamental concern. It is his duty to do this.

Only after that comes the concern for his spiritual development. That is all; nothing more! There are no problems.

The home is a woman’s primary domain. I cannot imagine what else she could possibly demand. To go out to the theater or visit friends? My wife did not demand this; she knew that I was not cut out for that.

Nevertheless, I always devoted a certain amount of time to her to go for a walk in the park, to sit at home, to talk or to listen to something together, especially as we grew older. And aside from that were were the children and then grandchildren.

She always had plenty to keep her occupied. She was fully aware of what I was doing. Had she ever hindered my spiritual advancement, I would have left. Knowing this perfectly well, we maintained a normal, honest understanding between us. Moreover, she helped me in my work with my teacher. She prepared food for him and looked after him; he was an elderly man after all.

A woman must know why she is getting married and whom she is marrying so that later you will not spring any unexpected surprises on her. That should not happen.

She must know that you work in order to provide for her and the children. But beyond the usual normal level of provision, you dedicate everything else to your spiritual development that she benefits from just as much as you do, acting as a full and equal partner in the process.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. Spiritual Couple” 9/15/10

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Spiritual Couple: Similarity of Values

917.01Question: How should one choose a Kabbalistic partner?

Answer: A person’s partner is the Creator. With Him we must attain unity, complete adhesion. That is all. That is the partner. Everything else is only a means to that end.

All the fellow students, the friends, serve as what might be called “witnesses of your adhesion with the Creator”; they are the ones that provide your contact with Him.

Question: You are speaking now about friends. And a woman? Does she play some role in this?

Answer: A woman must understand your work, its importance, and must not hinder it.

Question: Isn’t she the spiritual woman with whom I can advance?

Answer: You should not think about a “spiritual woman.” Your spiritual partner is the group.

And a wife, it is desirable that she understands you, that she herself aspires to this, and does not hinder you, although disturbances can also be a help along the way.

Comment: Now you are speaking about a woman as a disruptive element. But recently you said that she is a very important element.

My Response: I said that one must choose a wife who will be close to you and similar to you in her understanding of family life rather than someone who pursues a lifestyle and earthly goals that are completely at odds with yours.

We know that the basis of spiritual development is your similarity, common aspirations, common mentality, and common language. Similarity in your parents’ families is already a guarantee that further on there will be mutual understanding rather than disagreements, because all of us are drawn to those values that we received in our upbringing.

In addition to this, similarity in the spiritual goal is necessary, the goal that fills our life and stems from the spiritual understanding of the state. A spiritual state consists of a vessel and a filling.

The vessel is everything that is familiar to me, what I understand as life, that is, the existing conditions, values, and earthly habits. The filling is what I want to fill my life with so that all this will more or less suit both her and me. Then everything will be fine.

Besides that, one must look at what environment I am in, so that it will be suitable for both of us. I cannot find a suitable partner and then go somewhere to Asia and join an Asian group. This too must be more or less suitable for us, so that a person will not feel too great a contradiction. Although in our groups this is not so sharply expressed. Today the world is very close in all its ways of life.

We must strive precisely for such similarity, and through it for similarity to the Creator. Attaining complete similarity is the most comfortable point.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Spiritual Couple” 9/15/10

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Women’s Desire

592.02Question: You try to give tasks to everyone, both men and women. Is it really possible to do without women’s desire?

Answer: No, it must be very clear. A woman is not a passive element in creation. Although compared to a man, she is more passive, this is only because she cannot independently implement her desire.

However, her desire itself is very necessary for men. And men will feel like men when women begin to feel a need for spiritual development and pressure them with this need. Then it will be like in a family when a wife compels her husband to take care of the family.

Question: How can we ensure that women do not go in the wrong direction?

Answer: In any case, one has to develop somewhere. I am not afraid of anything. And in general, what is there for us to fear? Life is infinite, nature is eternal, the Creator is one, and one force governs us. We are obligated to move only toward it, toward contact with it, and toward similarity with it.

Let us try to pass through all these stages quickly, easily, and pleasantly, as much as possible. The main thing is to constantly try to accelerate the pace of movement toward the goal. That is all.

When I am asked what I like about myself and what I do not, I say: “There is only one thing I like about myself: the striving toward the goal that the Creator gave me.” I must constantly feel pressure: I must, must, must, and feel that I am moving toward the goal, revealing it more and more correctly. I torment myself if I do not carry this through to the end.

Only this desire matters. Everything else is the evil that was also created by the Creator, but there is certainly nothing good in it.

Therefore, we should not pay attention to the various shortcomings that are revealed within us. They will naturally appear, and at the pace at which we move forward, we will feel them even more.

But a strong, good, kind, mature women’s organization, which I demand, will help us go through all the revelations of our internal shortcomings that we do not yet see. And by revealing and correcting them, we will come to the Creator.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. Women’s Desire” 9/11/10

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Non-Random Encounters

294.2Comment: You say that every man has an inner woman.

My Response: Yes, that is his desire. The point is that in our world, we are divided into different parts: men, women, children, and the elderly. In the spiritual world, all of this exists within a single soul. It has a masculine part, a feminine part, and what they give rise to between them: the screen and the desire, Masach and Aviut. The birth of another Partzuf, another level, is like their children.

In our world, all of this has taken on a final form, which is expressed in various material objects; we need to unite them. That is, we connect with each other in families, while at the same time we are obliged to unite the feminine and masculine parts: the desires, aspirations, and goals.

Question: People often say that we are born for each other, and exist in heaven as a single whole. Does Kabbalah recognize such a concept?

Answer: Of course, people do not meet each other by chance. It is no accident that parents give birth to these particular children, that a man and woman marry, later perhaps separate, and then meet again.

This is all natural, especially today, when people have so many opportunities for contact. They travel, rush madly from one end of the world to the other, and spin everywhere.

On one hand, this connects people on a spiritual level into a single desire. On the other hand, look at their personal relationships. They marry and divorce, come together and part. All of this is aimed at quickly completing the mutual inclusion on the spiritual level that remains to be fulfilled, at transforming it from a corrupt, egoistic level to a spiritual one.

Comment: When a man and woman meet and begin to flirt, that is one level. Once they engage in intimate relations, a deeper connection forms between them, as if another kind of union occurs. They even behave differently because they are closer.

My Response: Yes, naturally, because sexual relations in our world correspond to the spiritual union, Zivug de Hakaa, in the spiritual world. At the animal level, a special type of internal contact arises. But this animal level also defines the spiritual level.

That is why I say that nowadays all kinds of chance encounters have become more frequent. This is the final stage of our earthly egoistic development; it is not moral, spiritual, or psychological development, but the stage of maturation of our desires.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Man and Women” 9/11/10

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Men and Women: Differences in Governance

629.3Comment: They say that men change the world and women improve it.

My Response: There is something in that; I agree. A woman organizes the world. She tends to connect it together, to make it more convenient, more comfortable, just like she wishes to arrange an apartment. This is how she sees the world.

A man, no. He breaks forward. He needs changes in the world, leaps, perhaps even rather extreme “surgical methods.”

Women generally do not go for that, and therefore they are more suited for governing the world.

In general, governance should be in a pair. We know that in every family the wife quietly commands, and the husband carries out. And if he does not, then it is not a family. Usually, it is always this way. If a man understands this, it is good. It is said in the Torah to Abraham: “Do as Sarah tells you.” This is correct. I think this is how one should educate.

Comment: Forty years ago, the company Xerox conducted large-scale research in its sales department about who sells better. It turned out that women are better salespeople than men. Since then, management’s attitude toward women has become more favorable.

In a study involving about 3,000 managers, several characteristic qualities distinguishing men and women were identified: their differences, advantages, and disadvantages.

The first is power and leadership as strengths. Men are interested in official recognition of their authority. They push forward forcefully and therefore often reach greater career heights and salary levels compared to women.

Women are more focused on internal processes. It is important to them that the work be structured as they envisioned, and it does not matter who formally stands at the helm.

The downside: men, striving to satisfy personal ambitions, are less loyal to the company.

Women may not desire power less than men, but they are often inclined to indecision in the struggle for the leadership chair.

My Response: This is natural. A woman by her nature is not inclined to conflict; she is inclined toward peace, ready to concede in order to preserve the environment, the company where she works, her place, and so on. A man may destroy everything in order to achieve his authority. For a woman this may be completely foreign. Naturally, women are ready for all kinds of sacrifices, while men are not.

In general, in most cases women are preferable. Perhaps the only area where this is less significant is the army, and even there not in planning. In developing military plans, I would involve women as well. Their absence there seems to me necessary to address.

Ultimately, I do not see where a man has an advantage over a woman except in precise implementation.

Comment: The second factor is locus of control depending on gender.

Researchers concluded that as men age, they increasingly rely on their own experience and skills. Men have an internal locus of control and therefore often higher self-esteem than women, who give greater importance to image and others’ opinions.

For example, when problems arise in a school, a female principal gathers teachers and parents to discuss and find a solution together.

My Response: Yes. Men tend to use a more forceful method.

The downside: relying on oneself makes a man less flexible and can lead to excessive self-confidence.

A woman may be more vulnerable due to an external locus of control. Business often demands rigidity, and therefore women in high positions sometimes adopt masculine qualities and constantly balance between personal life and professional duties.

Answer: The main thing is the collective. If the collective understands that, in principle, it is better off with a woman leader than with a man, then the whole collective benefits. Where is the question for this answer?

Question: The next factor is internal corporate processes. A businessman creates a team. Men are more result-oriented. They value employees who are more effective and produce better results.

A woman boss creates a family. She senses the mood in the collective, concentrates on overall comfort. Women tend to have more developed emotional intelligence for creating such an atmosphere.

The downside is that a man may reduce efficiency due to a weak individual approach to each member. A woman may become overly concerned with what is happening in the collective. How can this be balanced?

Answer: We do not manage to do this even in family relations, much less in today’s mixed collectives.

This requires a truly wise collective, where everyone understands the nature of men and women. By discussing everything together, they rise above their egoism.

Here there are no personal gender relations in the usual sense. They reason as clear psychologists: how they can connect in the middle line, not feminine and not masculine, but precisely in the middle. And the middle line is the most effective, correct, and possible combination of these two lines.

This is very difficult. One must constantly work on it. It cannot be done once and for all. Therefore, within a collective there should be such a person, or perhaps even a pair, who would constantly support the mutual complementarity of the inner aspirations, decisions, and visions of the male and female parts. Otherwise, the collective will not be truly effective.

Comment: The next factor is strategy for earning money.

A male leader is naturally less patient and wants quick profit “here and now.” Therefore, he is ready to take risks, to use creative approaches that push business forward.

A female leader often makes decisions more thoughtfully and conservatively. She thinks more long-term and strategically.

The downside: men, due to their need to take risks, are inclined to make rash decisions and incur serious financial losses.

My Response: But they enjoy risk. For them, risk is itself a kind of reward: “I may lose, but I took the risk! I was in it!”

A woman by nature must act thoughtfully. She must care; stability is primary in her—maintaining stability now and in the future. A man does not have this in the same way. For him, the main thing is to leap forward.

Both movements are absolutely correct; only their mutual complementarity is problematic for our society.

Comment: The fifth factor is communication style.

Men are excellent orators who inspire the masses. A woman wins in close-range communication. Women are naturally better at reading nonverbal behavior, possess strong listening skills, and are more sensitive to their own experiences.

The downside: men often do not pay attention to details and may lose negotiations over obvious matters. Women, with an external locus of control, spend considerable energy analyzing how others perceive them.

My Response: A man does not see what is near. He does not read faces or subtle actions—the things a woman notices, absorbs, and orients herself by. A man does not see them.

In everyday life, this is an astonishing ability of women, to sense the surroundings. Like an animal going out to hunt and sensing everything around it with its whole body, so is a woman. A man is not like that. He is goal-oriented; his main thing is to reach a specific point, he sees nothing else.

We are created differently; nothing can be done about that. A person and his qualities cannot be remade. We correct egoism, help a person rise above his egoistic nature, but not above his inherent qualities. A man remains a man, a woman a woman. We must only understand how to combine them correctly.

Therefore, we must choose the proper combination of our actions.

Question: What should leaders, men and women, take into account in their work?

Answer: A proper leader must assemble a collective of several men and women, ike a board of directors, who will correctly understand the collective itself, through discussion properly understand its tasks, correctly understand their own nature, and determine how to combine it in such a way as to develop the middle line, which optimally accounts for both approaches and yields the best result.

And still, this result will naturally be neither feminine nor masculine, but intermediate. It will always be some kind of compromise.

We must learn to live precisely in the middle line.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 2/26/19

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The Primordial Nature of Men and Women

627.1Question: A man is inherently unstable in relation to a woman. Let’s say he meets a woman, but after a while, the initial attraction fades. Why does he want another, and another, and another?

Answer: This stems from the spiritual root because he constantly wants to fill and fill, but feels no novelty in the same state.

A woman, it is the opposite; she “sticks” to him because she receives 90% of her desires from him, and only 10% of her own. A man receives 90% of his own desires and 10% from the woman. This is how they exchange their desires through contact.

Of the ten Sefirot, nine are Zeir Anpin and one is Malchut. Therefore, for a woman, it is enough to attach herself to a man; with that, she receives both the desire and the fulfillment. But for a man, this is not enough; he needs constant renewal in Malchut so that new souls can enter her, giving him an opportunity to fill them. If Malchut does not renew, then he has nothing to do with her.

The same happens in our world. If a man does not feel novelty, change in a woman, or flirtation, he quickly loses interest. Psychologists explain our relationships exactly this way and try to help with their renewal.

In our time, when all of this is revealed and completely accessible, fulfillment is disappearing even more. On one hand, this is a common problem on the material level; on the other hand, it leads us toward the need to truly rise to the resolution of different problems.

I think our generation is going through exactly this. It is not just experiencing it, but moving forward. Gradually, it will give this a very simple place to fill its needs, and everything will move to a higher realm.

Question: But why does society condemn a man for adultery if this is a natural, innate impulse that comes from above?

Answer: In terms of global understanding, this comes from religion, particularly Christianity. But in all previous cultures, this was not the case.

On the other hand, we are not saying that salvation lies in total freedom: do whatever you want. We say that a person should “keep his head in the heavens,” and if they have needs, they should satisfy them in a normal, more or less socially accepted manner.

Question: But if a person is in spirituality, does that mean he must have one “spiritual” woman?

Answer: No, that could be even worse. He undergoes all kinds of inner upheavals and changes, and anything can happen in those states.

But that is not the main point; this is not how we evaluate a person. We evaluate him by where his head is, what his goal in life is, not by how he handles his animalistic needs.

This is the fundamental difference between a man and a woman. A woman needs only her man; she must know: he is mine. In principle, this is embedded in her by nature. This is how it descends to us from Zeir Anpin and Malchut of Atzilut.

But a man has no particular attachment here. If he does, then it is for the family, his own place, children, and a household, but this, so to speak, is general; it is not aimed specifically at a woman. This also comes from the higher structure of ZON of Atzilut.

Comment: But initially, at the first contact, a man behaves simply like a Don Juan. And then women always get offended: why are men such scoundrels?

My Response: We see this also among animals. There is nothing different here. In the animal world, the male is very beautiful. Look at lions, peacocks, and swans! They are made that way precisely to attract the female, to bring her into contact, to subjugate her. That is why the male needs such external attributes.

And here lies a contradiction, because a woman, in principle, does not need these external attributes at all. She does not see external beauty in a man; it does not interest her; she simply does not notice it.

On the contrary, she may like a man with a bit of a belly rather than some “Hercules.” She has a different perspective. She looks at a man from the standpoint of genetics; she sees in him a potential father, husband, provider; she evaluates him by completely different criteria than those by which a man wants to present himself.

All of this comes from spiritual roots.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. Male betrayal” 8/28/10

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If a Wife Loves Her Husband

627.1Comment: A wolf lives his whole life with one she-wolf and never cheats on her. And even if during a hunt the wolf or the she-wolf dies, the surviving mate does not look for a replacement but remains alone for the rest of his life. Can you imagine?

My Response: We are still very far from that.

Comment: Can you imagine choosing for life! Wolves manage it.

My Response: We have much to learn.

Question: What is it, when you make such a decision?

Answer: For them, it is nature.

Question: And for us? What is it, when you decide this way?

Answer: For us, it is our egoistic nature that drives us crazy.

Question: But when you decide and live like that, does it mean you somehow tamed it, managed to restrain your egoistic nature, that you choose for life?

Answer: Yes.

Question: But you say: “One should choose for life.”

Answer: That is how it should be.

Question: And hold on?

Answer: And hold on, but you see how it turns out for us.

Question: About the she-wolf. When the male wolf is in danger, the she-wolf covers his neck, which can be very dangerous for her too, but she does not think about that.

And in human life, what does it mean for a wife to cover her husband, to protect him?

Answer: I don’t know the feelings of a she-wolf.

Comment: But we are already talking about a human.

My Response: For a human, it means she understands that she depends on him, and this is her main task. As long as he is alive and strong, she and the children are protected.

Question: But what does it mean—a wife who loves her husband?

Answer: A wife who loves her husband believes that if something bad could happen to him, she is ready to share it with him without any hesitation.
[351483]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/27/25

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