Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

Act According To Nature’s Formula

599.02Comment: In Kabbalistic sources, it is written that without the revelation of the Creator, we cannot be equal.

My Response: We will not be ale to do this because we need a common denominator we doing this for. The good of society cannot interest us. Our egoism is beyond that.

Equality is possible only if we unite in our upper root, from which we come. Then, as we reach it, we will understand why we are different. Precisely this difference in the integral sum gives us the feeling of equality.

Comment: Throughout the history of mankind, we have existed in a society where there has been no equality. Even today, the struggle for equal opportunities continues. Women try to become like men and vice versa.

You, as a Kabbalist, say that there can be no equality and humanity itself will never come to it.

My Response: We do not need to strive for mechanical equality. We must act according to the formula of nature, and then we will become equal. Even though we are different, we will be equal.
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From KabTV’s “Spiritual States” 4/29/19

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Creation And Its Female Part

614The Book of Zohar,Chayei Sarah” [The Life of Sarah], Chapter 80: Why are all types of witchcraft and magic in women? It is because when the serpent came over Eve, he cast filth in her. He cast only in her and not in her husband, and the spells extend from the filth of the serpent. This is why witchcraft is in women.

In Kabbalah, women are a very important part of creation, even more important than the masculine part since everything comes from her. And the male part is just a link between the female part and the Creator.

The whole of creation is the female part. Therefore birth, stages of ascent, and all of the actions of creation are realized in a woman. And men are needed in the world only to provide for her, but life itself is in women.

And this is true. If men understood this and agreed, the world would be much better, straighter. Unfortunately, we are not that corrected yet.

From the spiritual point of view, the female part in creation is called desire and the male part is called intention. The Creator created the desire, and then the correct intention was created for it: for the sake of the Creator. But when this intention was corrupted by the so-called “sin,” it turned into its opposite. That is, the intention to give has been replaced by receiving for the sake of oneself without any love or compassion for others.

Why do we say that a woman is corrupted, that she has all the evil in her, that she has the venom of the serpent, and man does not? Because evil manifests itself in the female part. At the same time, I do not mean women at all. When I say “woman,” I associate it only with spiritual qualities. Therefore, you do not need to perceive my words at the level of our world.

So, Eve was not corrupted before the shifting of the egoistic property of “receiving” to Adam. Adam himself was corrupted, and because of this, the whole world, including Eve, was corrupted. She was the transferring link from the serpent to Adam. When Adam sinned, they both descended to the lowest level, to the state of permanent sin, and from this egoistic state they must come out.

The exit is mainly carried out through the efforts of Adam, the male part of creation, because it is engaged in correcting the intention and must change it from receiving to giving. And the female part is more passive. She accepts this intention and works with it. And we see this in practice in the male and female characters, in their approach to the world.
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From KabTV’s “The Power of The Book of Zohar” #4

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“How Can The High Divorce Rates Of USA Be Reduced?” (Quora)

Dr. Michael LaitmanMichael Laitman, On Quora: How can the high divorce rates of USA be reduced?

In order to reduce the divorce rate and ensure that married couples rise above any argument, conflict, and crisis, we need to revise the way we are educated and influenced.

As we grow up, we need to learn what it means to live as members of a happy family, how to run our family life optimally, and how to overcome any kinds of conflicts that arise.

The key principle to successfully running a family can be found in the Bible story about our creation—that one man was originally created and then divided into two. How, then, can two separate beings connect as one? The answer is in mutual concession.

Each partner should know that they can each achieve much more in life if they are positively connected, and that a solitary life would be a lot tougher.

Concession involves conceding our egos to our spouses. Our egos are our desires to personally benefit at the expense of others. Therefore, by conceding our egos, we undergo corrections of this ego, and acquire a positive form of love, bestowal and connection in its place. Our egos then become impulses that help us positively connect. That is, when we recognize our egos rejecting the tendency to connect, precisely at such points we can exercise our concessions and develop loftier qualities of love and bestowal upon our egoistic drives.

By doing so, we advance faster and more consciously to our life’s purpose: to become a human being in the fullest sense of the term, i.e., where “human” (“Adam”) comes from the phrase “similar to the most high” (“Adameh le Elyon”) in Kabbalah, or in other words, resemblance to the Creator—the quality of love, bestowal and connection that fills the entirety of reality outside of us. By acquiring such a quality, we enter into the state of eternity and perfection.

Therefore, in order for marriage to work, we should apply a higher goal to the marriage: that it serves as a kind of laboratory in order to exercise our relations of love, bestowal and positive connection above all the arguments, conflicts, and crises that surface.

Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

When Men Cry

284.05Question: Doctors advise us to cry once a week. They say tears relieve psychological stress. When we cry, endorphins, which we lack, are released. Also, they say physical pain is dulled. The body produces enkephalins, which are natural pain relievers.  Sweat and tears help remove harmful toxins from the body, and tears help lower blood pressure. ”

It seems we should cry more often. Can you explain this?

Answer: Definitely. There is a lot in tears, in the very process of crying, in this little inner stress that tears carry.

This is purification. A man cries out.

Question: Does one have to cry to the end, and after that, he is at peace?

Answer: It is not easy. Even more so for men. It happens only sometimes when special exciting actions take place, when you feel that you are revealing something. But these are not women’s tears.

Question: Are men’s tears different from women’s?

Answer: Absolutely. This is where a borderline between men and women becomes clear—a woman cannot cry for male reasons or a man for female reasons. There is nothing to be done here. Therefore, we are two and not a single one. Our tears are different. We have different systems! In a male, it goes through the brain, and in a female through the heart and womb.

In a male, it goes a little through the heart, but mostly through the brain. In a female—through the heart and mainly through the womb. Tears go through these systems, which are called masculine and feminine.

A man cries when he realizes something special and his awareness of this special thing merges with his feelings for it. A woman cries when all this goes through her system. After all, they are completely different people. They are from different worlds!

Question: Then what does the connection of these worlds mean?

Answer: They do not connect. They unite only in the Creator when they rise above themselves in order to reveal their common single root. Only there can they unite, reveal the Creator, and each one truly reveal themselves in the other.

Therefore, there is such a special pull between us, the oppositeness of these genders and so on. This is a very complex system of relationships.

Question: Does the real union appear there—in the Creator?

Answer: In heaven, as they say.

Question: You are not a sentimental person, but when we are talking about your teacher Rabash very often I see how your eyes suddenly moisten and how different you become. Why?

Answer: I cannot do anything about it. Because the root of my soul is in him, that is why I am different.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/28/20

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Create Your Love

961.1True love begins when nothing is looked for in return. 
(Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

True. Beautiful! Clear, brief.

Question: Can you comment on this?

Answer: No. I cannot. It is expressed so clearly and correctly.

Where will you find this? There is an opinion among people that it is possible.

Question: But man has no power to do it?

Answer: No, it is not in human nature.

Question: By nature, man is unable not to ask for anything in return?

Answer: Of course. We must create this feeling of love for the other from the opposite feelings: from rejection, hatred, from all the negative properties, feelings, and thoughts. I must do it

Then it is possible to say that I love him—because I create my love for him. In general, what I basically feel for this person is that I hate him.

Question: That is, if I could simply, just like that, hate someone and then rise to love him?

Answer: Yes. Turn yourself inside-out. Then you can say that you love him. I love him. And the fact that this feeling arose in me from nowhere.

Comment: It is not easy.

My Response: Yes, but it is called love.

To love is to create an attitude toward another in yourself, an attitude of love toward the one you initially hated. Love can only be above hate! Otherwise it is not love.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/10/20

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You Must Know How To Love

294.3To love is not to look at each other, but to look together in the same direction.
 (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)

That is right. The same direction means that I must find in myself and in the other person a state resulting from our mutual relations. It is something beyond both of us.

Question: So now are you talking about the purpose of life we, that we advance toward one goal, love the same goal, and move toward it?

Answer: It means that we love each other precisely because we are aimed at the same goal.

Comment: What if we do not share the same goal?

Answer: Then it is not love.

Question: This is interesting. So, I cannot just love you and simply live this way?

Answer: No! There must be a third component; it is not superfluous.

There must be something outside of both people that connects them, unites them. It is the yearning to unite in this third part that results in the quality of love.

Question: What kind of a goal makes this love strong?

Answer: When they realize that they owe each other achieving this eternal goal.

Question: Can a goal be to build a house, grow a tree, or create a family?

Answer: No. Never! We are talking about an idea, an ideal.

Question: But what is it? What could it be? Can we talk specifically about this?

Answer: Only the attainment of the purpose of nature. Nature has created us, and we must understand the goal that it wants to bring us to.

Question: What goal does it want to bring us to?

Answer: To unity. So that together with us it can achieve the absolute meaning in this union! That is, it would become one common whole—us, all of humanity, and nature. Us, as a receptor element of nature, and nature itself as the filling element.

That is how it should be.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/10/20

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How Do You Explain Loneliness?

961.2Question: How does one explain loneliness, when a person cannot even find mutual sympathy? Now there are a lot of people like this. Does this mean that they have no soul mates and are alone in life, forever?

Answer: Egoism is constantly developing in us, from the beginning of creation to our day, and will continue to develop further and further.

As personal egoism develops, each person will feel more and more distant from other people. It will be increasingly difficult for him to find his soul mate, and generally to get together with friends.

If humanity does not begin to correct itself, then its future, of course, is very unfortunate. People will live in their pencil cases, and this will be their lot.

Comment: But this is great suffering.

My Response: They will get used to it, they will take drugs or something else. And what can you do against selfishness? Either fix it, or leave it as it is, and quietly muffle it.
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From KabTV’s “Ask a Kabbalist” 3/20/19

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Physiology Is Not Spirituality

600.04Question: If what has come down to us from written and oral sources is perceived literally and not in the language of branches, then we perceive the masculine and feminine incorrectly, not as a component in a person, but as gender?

But we were born men and women. Does male and female egoism exist in each of us?

Answer: No, it does not exist. Any person spiritually consists of a male and a female part. There is no privilege of one over the other. It is their right combination that gives us perfection.

There are masculine and feminine qualities in every person and they must be balanced regardless of gender. Our physiology has nothing to do with spirituality.
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From KabTV’s “Ask the Kabbalist” 3/20/19

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Live In The Understanding Of The Meaning Of Existence

628.2Comment: If a person is present in the general system, then accordingly there should be relations between the parts of the system that are built in a certain way according to a correct algorithm.

My Response: The only correct algorithm regarding relations would be for each part of the system to exist only in order to support all the other parts and for itself, it would only get as much as it needed to function correctly in this way.

Question: How do the male and female parts of the system, literally husband and wife, relate to this?

Answer: Husband and wife should be focused on supporting each other as well as what is produced from their relationship.

Question: How can a woman support her husband as effectively as possible? In what way should this support be carried out in relation to his development, in terms of his existence in the corporeal world, and perhaps in terms of a spiritual goal?

Answer: I don’t think there is much difference between men and women or husbands and wives. They must both live according to an understanding of the meaning of their existence. What end should they come to? What is the most important thing in their lives?

They need to keep working on this. There are a lot of options here, but all of them should be aimed at achieving a common goal.
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From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 12/7/20

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How To Save A Marriage

294.4Question: I recently watched your video where you say that you cannot get a divorce, only as the last resort when there are children involved.

So what can I do when there are no feelings left for each other and the children see that? When there is only fighting and annoyance with each other? How can it be good for the children to grow up in such an atmosphere? I don’t love him, do you understand? Don’t hold me back.

My Response: I am holding you back. I would like to restrain both you and him. Because you are no longer children like your kids  you need to understand that it is still much better for you, for your children, for your family, and for society for you not to divorce, but simply to stop paying attention to certain feelings.

Question: But how can they achieve peace, more or less?

Answer: They should agree not to annoy each other. That’s it! What else is there to do? Let your relationship involve a bit of politics, some agreement and reasoning, rising above yourselves.
To say: “I don’t like things about him, he doesn’t like things about me” is childish!

Question: In general, it is possible to agree on areas to avoid?

Answer: Absolutely! If they already have children, then they are clearly mature people. If you have children, you have no right to divorce. For the sake of your children. The kids won’t forgive you. They will carry it with them throughout their lives.

Question: So, if she thinks about the children at this moment, and not about herself, about her annoyance?

Answer: Then she will not be annoyed.

Question: What does it involve? Forgiveness of all his mistakes or what? How to make concessions here?

Answer: To reduce each other’s vulnerability, your sensitivity to each other, claims against each other. Imagine that the other has a right to his behavior, to his life. And at the same time, you have a common life. And this common life, first of all, concerns your children, and not you personally. Don’t be so selfish! Live for the sake of the children. This should not be a source of pain for your children.

Question: Is this the real responsibility?

Answer: Yes. Of course.

Comment: People don’t think that children are affected by this their whole lives.

My Response: No. This will have a big impact on the children. And the children will also get divorced because their parents did the same.

Question: Does it follow the chain?

Answer: It does.

Question: And it extends to the next generation?

Answer: Yes. And if they didn’t see the parent’s divorce, then, despite the fact that there are very big differences between them and general fighting, children will still preserve their families.

Question: So you also look at other generations?

Answer: Certainly. Because “what parents do serves as an example for children.”
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/23/20

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