Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

The World Exists Thanks To Women

587.01Question: What attracts men to women?

Answer: Many things. It depends on what preferences men have. Depending on them, they look for the corresponding fulfillment in women.

But, in principle, a woman is an irreplaceable person in society, thanks to which it exists. Men could live peacefully in the forest, sit by the fire and smoke, and a woman forces a man to build the world.

Question: But when a man chooses a woman even for a short-term relationship, he does not think that she saves the world. What is it that attracts him to her?

Answer: In principle, a man is not able to exist without women. A woman can without a man, but a man cannot without a woman.

Question: In what sense can he not exist without her? After all, he can cook himself a meal, take his clothes to the laundry or wash them.

Answer: Even in the modern world, all this is very difficult. I do not think this is possible in the broad sense of the word. A woman, however, sorts it all out, she is used to it, and she can take care of herself. A man cannot take care of himself!

Question: Do you mean that he needs some special psychological completion?

Answer: Psychological, physical, and physiological—all of them. It is impossible to live without women. Without men, however, it is possible.
From KabTV’s “Blitz Questions and Answers” 1/6/23

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What Will Spiritual Unity Lead To?

541Question: When spouses are just starting to live together, according to biological processes, hormones support their relationship for the first three years. It is believed that after three years, hormones stop working, and a cooling occurs between a man and a woman, nothing holds them further. Does it come from nature?

Answer: Probably. In past centuries, it may have been different, but nowadays they say that it is, especially on the part of a man.

Maybe from the woman’s side, I do not know. Usually a woman gets used to a man. I don’t think she wants to change everything so much. Today, it is also a little different for women, but still not in the same way as for men.

Question: It’s not a fact that someone wants to change something, it’s just a question that there is no longer a physical factor that holds them back. How can spouses overcome this and continue to live normally?

Answer: Now is a special time—the time of correcting selfishness. And if the spouses are not engaged in its correction, they will not be able to coexist together.

There will be more and more divorces until there are no families left at all. People will converge for a day or two, for a year or two, and disperse. Children will be born not clear from whom and where. The world will come to this because a person will not be able to cope with selfishness if he does not begin to correct it.

And for the sake of correction, you will live with one woman because you will feel that you are kindred spirits with her and it is with her that you can correct yourself. And then all physical problems or cooling will be invisible because in your physical union with her you will feel spiritual unity, and then there will be no problems.

The world is coming to this. And now we are living in a transitional period when there is no such marriage as before, but there is also no new state of marriage as it should be.

But a person will be like that. He will live only in order to improve spiritually, to rise, to feel a higher state, but in no case to remain in this world and this life. Otherwise, there is no point. Otherwise, people will commit suicide, use drugs, and terrible things will happen in the world.

Comment: In principle, such a connection should ideally be.

My Response: No, not at all ideally. A person will feel spiritual needs above the base, earthly ones because in his eyes it will not be worth spending his life on them. We will survive this state.
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. How to Preserve Love” 12/19/13

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General Chaos

507.05Question: In the modern world, fast intimate relationships are very common, when people literally without any prerequisites can quickly get together and then separate. What do they gain and what do they lose?

Answer: This is the necessary path of our downfall. We cannot say what people gain or lose in this case, and as this will become clear only at the end of our fall, we will see that we gain nothing by this, that a completely different paradigm of attitude to marriage and family is required, that we lose, and we lose a lot on this.

But such an atmosphere stems from modern culture. Literature, music, cinema; look what is being done! And children grow up on this, they are completely different. They have a different view of the world.

Today, a mother takes her 12 – 13-year-old daughter to a gynecologist, who prescribes birth control pills for her and that’s it. The mother no longer thinks about what is happening to her daughter because she knows that there is no other way. And the daughter easily, without reservation, may talk to her about her problems. She thinks it’s all right and normal. That is, young people have a completely different approach to life, it’s a different culture.

Such is the transitional period, when we left the previous, traditional matriarchy-patriarchy and did not get anywhere in the end; we cut off old ties, but there are not any new ones. This general chaos will haunt us until we begin to feel that without correcting the nature of man, we will not move anywhere.

In the meantime, we will go deeper and deeper into chaos in all areas of human activity: political, social, etc. We have very serious changes in society ahead of us.
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Quickie Sex” 12/21/13

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What Does the Story of Adam and Eve Mean in Our Times?

Kabbalah & Relationships

Tips on how to build successful relationships based on the spiritual principles and understanding of our nature

Our ego is the snake that prevents us from being able to love someone else.

The meaning behind the story of Adam, Eve and the snake is actually very simple. The snake represents the ego that became revealed between Adam and Eve, the man and the woman. And that’s really all there is to the story.

For example, suppose that a happy, young couple falls in love. They hug, kiss and laugh together, go to the movies and the beach. Then they get married and begin living together, and everything is wonderful. They’re in the Garden of Eden.

And suddenly—the snake (the ego) arrives. They suddenly begin arguing. Then they begin taking advantage of each other and making private calculations, such as “How can I get him or her to be the way I want them to be?” This happens to us because the snake (the ego that’s inside us) prevents us from being able to love someone else, and makes sure that our love is egoistic from the start.

Under these circumstances, the closest we can come to love is to surrender our egos in day to day life as much as we can. However, this still doesn’t solve the problem at the root, and does not enable us to experience real, unconditional love. This is where Kabbalah offers another solution: to correct our soul at the root, or to correct the snake that separates us from our partners.

To do this, both partners must realize that there is a goal to their lives that’s above this world. Then they will also realize that they can only attain it by having a partner in life, someone who will go through the spiritual path together with them. This is the meaning of the verse, “Man, woman, and the Divine Presence between them.” It means that in order for us to attain the Divine presence, spirituality, we must connect with each other correctly.

Then, instead of taking advantage of each other, Adam and Eve will complete each other. And the snake, instead of driving them apart, will become the driving force that pushes them to reveal the Upper Force – the Divine Presence, or the Creator.

Why Are We So Preoccupied with Sex?

Kabbalah & Relationships

Tips on how to build successful relationships based on the spiritual principles and understanding of our nature

The spiritual root of sex is the soul’s unity with the Creator.

In the spiritual world, the soul is united with the Light, and this union is called Zivug—coupling. It constitutes the unification of two parts of creationmale and female, and is the greatest pleasure that can ever bethe soul being filled by the Light of the Creator.

This spiritual coupling also has a branch or copy in the physical world, the world of matter. This is why we are so preoccupied with sexit is the ultimate pleasure in this world, and the root of all of our desires in this world.

Sex is the basis of all our thoughts, because its root is the soul’s union with the Creator. This union is the final goal of Nature, and everything that happens in the world is determined by the final goal. This is why we just can’t avoid thinking about sex. Our attraction to the opposite sex and to pleasure also come from this final state – the adhesion with the Creator, called “Zivug” (never-ending sexual union).

The pleasure we feel from sex is a perfect example of the difference between physical and spiritual pleasure. We spend so much time and effort thinking about sex, and we imagine that it will give us enormous pleasure, but in fact our pleasure vanishes into thin air the minute we reach the peak of sexual satisfaction. Before we really had time to enjoy this feeling, it is over and we find ourselves once again striving for another moment of pleasure.

This is what happens in our world, because the pleasure that fills the desire immediately neutralizes it. No longer having the desire, we stop feeling pleasure. It leaves us feeling empty, and as life goes on, this emptiness only grows bigger. This is why it is written, “One leaves the world with half his cravings unfulfilled.”

Spiritual pleasure works very differently because being in spirituality means having the ability to receive the Light with the intention of giving pleasure to the Creator, to the One who gives you the Light. Hence, in spirituality, coupling or sex is continuous and eternal, and it only grows stronger all the time. As a result, one feels eternal life and perfect fulfillment that constantly gets bigger. Obviously, this is very different from the pleasure we feel in our world, where we can only feel momentary pleasure followed by emptiness.

This is why it is written that ever since people fell from the spiritual world into our world, only those who attain the spiritual world still feel the real taste of copulation. The true, spiritual pleasure is attained when two opposite parts of creationmale and femalemerge together and are filled by the common Light.

Subconsciously, in our souls, we all desire this coupling because we were created for it. On some level, we all aspire to feel the spiritual world because it is the only place where we will find true, lasting pleasure.

Equality Between Men and Women: Good or Bad?

Kabbalah & Relationships

Tips on how to build successful relationships based on the spiritual principles and understanding of our nature

A woman fulfills her role by being opposite (and not equal!) to a man.

Men’s and women’s roles have become so blurred that people are confused about what the ideal roles of men and women are supposed to be. This has affected the relationships between men and women, and has even caused people to become confused about their own identities.

As much as we desire to create simple, plain equality—according to our understanding of it, in the end it does not benefit men or women. It does not make our lives more balanced, harmonious, fair or happy—and that’s because the way we seek to create “equality” goes against the laws of nature.

Instead of learning how to arrange our lives from nature, we have been thinking that we are above nature and inventing our own rules. Yet our lives prove that we are, in fact, part of nature. Hence, we have to let nature teach us how to create perfect relationships between us and live in harmony with one another.

This is exactly what the wisdom of Kabbalah enables us to do—it reveals nature’s laws, enabling one to see the best way to act toward others, whether toward men, women, children, or the whole world. Without this knowledge, it is impossible for us to arrange our lives in a sensible way. Rather, with every passing day, we will only experience more problems and suffering.

But how did the confusion around our sex roles begin in the first place? After all, the relationship between men and women is only unbalanced among humans. In the animal world, for instance, the male always supplies the female with everything she needs. The problem with humans is that everything operates according to the ego, and not according to the duties one sex has toward the other. Precisely the ego has made our relationships and gender roles unbalanced.

So what is the balanced way for us to build our lives? It is written that a woman was created to be help against a man. That is to say, a woman fulfills her role and provides the help needed of her precisely by being opposite (not equal!) to a man. To be opposite to him means to help him attain the spiritual goal, and this is how they both attain it.

The Secret of a Long and Happy Marriage

627.1Question: An elderly couple was asked what the secret of their long marriage was. The wife replied that is was the fact that “We both love me. I do not exit loving myself, and he loves me.”

What do you think about this?

Answer: This is very one-sided, like walking on a crutch. I do not want that. There is no mutuality.

Comment: This is the entire secret of their long marriage; there is no mutuality.

My Response: It is like a little child who behaves like that with his mom: “I love myself and everyone should love me.” This will not work. I do not feel pleasure, height, journey, and fulfillment from the fact that someone will show me that he or she loves me.

I feel like this sometimes, and it does not make me feel good.

Question: Then what is the secret of a long and happy marriage?

Answer: When you can constantly concede to each other. Constantly! That is, to be ready for this all the time to concede to the other in everything. In everything! Then life is beautiful.

Comment: Can you imagine? The moment I feel a prick and have to attack, and hop, I concede even though everything inside me is burning!

My Response: No, there is nothing anymore and nothing is burning.

Question: So once I have conceded, is there suddenly a peaceful flow?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Is this what we come to through big fights and big clashes?

Answer: Through understanding, through recognizing the wisdom of nature. Only in this form can you be connected with the other and can you receive pleasure from being with him and conceding to him all the time! That is all. How wonderful!
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/27/22

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Family Happiness

506.2Question: What is the effect of family workshops when, say, five couples sit and talk to each other? In theory, they share things that they may not have shared directly.

Answer: Yes, as a rule, what a wife cannot say to her husband or husband to his wife, they say through others.

The reason for the effectiveness of such communication is that people create a common field, a predisposition to openness. As they say, a bad example is contagious, but in this case, it is a good example. After all, when the others open up, it draws you in, it affects you, and you unconsciously get carried away with others and start saying things that you could not say to your other half alone.

Question: How is it that such an intimate conversation seems to come out so easily?

Answer: Because people see that there is nothing intimate here. The rest of the families have the same issues as they do. What intimate matter might that be? Only shame (an egoistic quality), arrogance, fear of falling in the eyes of others, and so on.

But when, without self-reproach, without saying “we have it even worse,” everyone simply and frankly speaks, then the correct relationships between genders, between spouses (this is not the same thing), between parents regarding children, and so on are clarified. This greatly reduces family tensions.
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Family Happiness” 12/7/13

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Regarding Beauty

627.2Comment: There are beauty contests like “Miss Universe.” By the way, it was once Trump’s business. It seemed to everyone that this was the most win-win business. But recently it was put up for sale due to unprofitability.

For the first time since this competition began in 1952, problems with profitability began before the “corona.” They say that this is due to a drop in the number of viewers.

But I personally have a feeling that external beauty has become less attractive in the world today.

My Response: I think it has become more internal. It has received a higher request, a need from the masses. But what is it really about today, due to such a huge farce that exists in the world? It’s just not possible.

Question: Is it possible to say something about the inner beauty of a person? How can I believe that this person is internally beautiful? What criteria should I proceed from?

Answer: Kindness, mutual assistance, compassion, and so on. Such as simple truths. The one that takes a person. This is the inner beauty of a person.

Question: You said the first word “kindness” and even stopped. It seems to be the most important thing for you. What do you put into it?

Answer: This is a person who can perceive another as close to himself. This is an amazing property! This is a gift from the Creator.

Question: So is this what you consider the greatest property—kindness?

Answer: Yes.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/10/22

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The Effect of Open Communication

632.3Question: Why are family workshops or workshops for people who know each other well much stronger than for random people?

Answer: Because people who are interested and mutually connected take part in them. In such circles, there is a complex structure of relationships: between friends, between girlfriends, between spouses, also between interactions of couples, and between the general relationship in a group, in a community.

There are a lot of levels and different systems of relationships and styles; that is why it is very interesting. All this jumps from level to level: personal, family, social, and spiritual relationships, and so on.

We can see amazing combinations between the five degrees that exist in nature: animal, human, emotional, and so on, according to Maslow’s pyramid. Meaning both psychological and Kabbalistic.

Question: Is it worth letting people without a partner into such events?

Answer: No, then there will be no synergy, only with similarity so that everyone experiences the same opportunities.

Moreover, if you put several friendly couples with a couple who is in a bad relationship, you will see that it will come out of there like “God’s little dandelion.” The rest will show an example of their interaction so that they will have to get closer to each other.

I have seen it, how they come out holding hands and they could not look at each other before. And this happens literally in thirty to forty minutes.
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Family Happiness” 12/7/13

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