Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

Will The Family Institution Survive?

laitman_627.1Question: What awaits the family institution? How do we save, strengthen, and balance it? How can Kabbalah help with this?

Answer: I think this year the family institution, along with other social institutions, will face very serious challenges. We will continue to see problems in the family, separation between parents and children and between the parents themselves, divisions between different families and generations: parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren. People will feel no sense of belonging to one another: you gave birth to me, raised me, and now I am leaving.

Consequently, we will reach a state, where no one will owe anyone anything, no one can ask anything from the other: “Leave me alone. What do I care about all of you and why do you care about me?”

After that, along with general recognition of evil, supplied to us by our egoism, we will finally start to realize that there is nothing left to do but try to correct it. Life will become so unbearable (not only in the family but in all its aspects) that people will have no hope left for the future or the present.

One will truly begin to understand that to be alone among other people is worse than being alone in the jungle where you don’t know where to place your foot without being stung or attacked from above.

A person will feel threatened by the environment: one seems to be among people, but in an urban jungle where one cannot make it to the store and back even if he runs. One will feel that no one can or is even willing to help him.

I hope that will be enough for us to realize that we need to do something with our human nature. We will then listen and hear that there is a method that corrects our nature and it is ready. Everything depends only on the person himself. Maybe then that person will come to us.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian, 1/13/19

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Absolute Love Or How To Find A Soulmate

laitman_294.2Question: From the point of view of science, isn’t the love a person feels for another simply a chemical process occurring in his body?

Answer: Of course, these are all chemical processes.

Question: What is love in terms of Kabbalah?

Answer: It is love at another level. But ultimately it is realized in us in the same physical and chemical processes. Only in Kabbalah it is studied from its upper source, from where it appears in us.

In fact, everything is determined by what is called “soul affinity,” that is, how much our souls, our spiritual components, are in a close state to each other in the common system of all souls in the world. Accordingly, we become attracted to and find each other.

It seems like it is a coincidence, that there are some circumstances. It is nothing of the kind. There are no coincidences in the world. Only the upper root brings us into some kind of movement toward each other. It obliges us to pay attention to each other and get close. At what level and in what sense to get close depends on the quality of our spiritual roots.

Question: How does this spiritual convergence occur?

Answer: A person in our world does not know this. We, as they say, “sniff” each other, study each other. It seems to us that we are suitable or not. It seems to us that circumstances lead to this, and everyone says: “You are so alike, similar,” and so on. This is all the world of dolls, the world of a game. But in fact, spiritual forces, spiritual roots, determine everything.

Question: How does one search for a spiritual partner?

Answer: People will not be able to. People do not understand. We study this in the science of Kabbalah and understand how it works. But in our world, we still cannot realize it.

Question: Is love a relationship of souls?

Answer: Love is the attraction of kindred souls. But this is spiritual, ideal love.

Question: What is a soulmate?

Answer: Soulmates are those who are in very close combination in the spiritual world.

There is a common soul. In it, there are many, billions of private souls that coexist with each other in all sorts of combinations. Their combinations determine the convergence, separation, and movement, including physical, in general, all this Brownian movement between us in our world.

Question: Does the name “my other half” imply a soulmate?

Answer: This is the perfect case.

Question: What is lovesickness?

Answer: Lovesickness in our world is purely egoistic suffering because I need fulfillment and I cannot find it. “Where is my second half that will fill me?” It’s just like: “Where is my dinner that I want to eat that I’m supposed to have?” It is absolutely the same. It is also the same with sex and with all the other fillings.

Question: What should be the principle of relationships of love in terms of Kabbalah?

Answer: This is a mutual understanding, the pursuit of a common goal, in which we unite together as one. But only in a common goal.

Question: Can this goal be anything?

Answer: No, only the spiritual goal! A spiritual goal is the union of our souls. As the great English poet Chaucer wrote: “Reach the merging of our souls in the tangle of our bodies.” He laughed at this—what we want.

Question: What is the lovesickness (“suffering out of love”) in Kabbalistic terms?

Answer: It is when I want to find my soulmate, including all the other souls in the world, in order to reach a state of spiritual connection between us, when I give everything, and through them I give it to the Creator. This is called true love. Eternal.

Question: Can there be a separation between soulmates, a break in communication? Why does it occur?

Answer: I did not observe such effects in our world. We are still in a state where our world is broken, and it only just begins its approach to the spiritual, corrected world.

We will definitely enter it. The question is when? We will reach a state where we will simultaneously perform actions in our world on the basis of spiritual actions. Then, we will fall in love with the soul and unite “soul to soul” as they say. Then everything will coexist in this way. I cannot imagine that separation is possible at this state.

Question: Then separation will not exist?

Answer: No. This is eternal love!
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From the TV program “News with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman”, 2/28/18

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“International Women’s Day 2019: Nature’s Recipe for Gender-Balance”(Thrive Global)

Thrive Global published my new article: “International Women’s Day 2019: Nature’s Recipe for Gender-Balance

“The human is the inclusion of male and female, and the world cannot be built, if male and female are not both present” (The Book of Zohar).

International Women’s Day is upon us again, and this year’s keyword is “balance” – the idea is to drive gender-balance across the world.

The aspiration behind wanting to create balance is good and correct. It comes from a genuine desire to find wholeness, completion and perfection in the interaction between the men and women of the world. But what is gender-balance? How do we determine where the balance is? If we look for it through our own eyes – whether as a man or woman – we’ll only see things partially and incorrectly.

When it comes to balance, we need to see things from nature’s point of view.

There are two opposite forces working throughout all of nature and they manifest through various forces, actions and beings: plus and minus, protons and electrons, heat and cold, ebb and flow, inhaling and exhaling. Or in our case – male and female.

If we try to eliminate or disregard the differences between any instances of nature’s two opposite forces, then we’re attempting to meddle with nature. Trying to turn a plus into a minus will ultimately cause trouble, even when we can’t see it in the short run.

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, men and women can only complete each other when the purpose of their relationship is to discover the deeper force of nature that binds them together. As it is written, “man, woman, and the divine presence between them.”

The deeper binding force of nature is one. It is not masculine or feminine, not a plus or a minus. It’s the only true oneness there is. Men and women need each other to rise slightly above the human ego, and discover that force together. To do so, they each need to activate their unique attributes and complete each other. So instead of focusing on how men or women can rise separately, we need to be thinking of rising together.

It’s no coincidence that the drive to find new balance between the genders has become so prominent in our time. Humans are evolving to find a higher experience of life, and this is why we have a yearning for a greater sense of wholeness. But harmony can only emerge when opposite forces complement each other.

The difference between male and female is not a “gender difference.” It is an infinite gap that stems from the very nature of creation. We don’t need to be the same. We need to stay different, and learn how to complete each other.

— Published on March 3, 2019

A New Day—A New Life

Laitman_725Question: Can you give an external example of spiritual balance and where it manifests itself?

Answer: No, because our world is not an example of the balance of spiritual forces.

There is nothing spiritual in our world. It is needed only in order to bring a person to internal unity. Therefore, isolated negative forces are working here. There are no positive forces, although they do work sometimes, it is only in an inverse state in order to bring us to the correct recognition that “There is none else besides Him.”

Question: Perhaps it is possible to see this in an example of a family where at the moment harmony and love reign, but everyone remembers quarrels and discords that happened yesterday or the day before yesterday?

Answer: Nothing is forgotten. However, if both spouses consciously balance themselves and they both have a clear aspiration toward the correct connection because they understand that there is evil on both sides and relative to it there is some kind of good and they want to balance them, then they neutralize the evil and keep it under control. This is more or less how the spiritual system exists.

Comment: You often give the example of your relationship with your wife. If you had an argument in the evening, then in the morning you do not remember it and do not talk about it.

Answer: Nothing like that. The next morning, I remember everything and so does she. Yet we have decided that we will start every morning with a clean slate, and therefore we act as if nothing had happened.

There is a covenant between us and we try not to break it. This is good, serious spiritual work. We agreed that the next day, we will not recall the past. Once the day is over, it is crossed out.

Question: Does a person understand that this is good for him, that he can circumvent all troubles this way?

Answer: Otherwise, you will not be able to maintain a marriage for so many years. We have been married for 50 years!

Question: Where one can get the strength from? From the Creator?

Answer: No. Here, you just need the desire to keep the marriage. You have to develop a certain system of behavior.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/17/18

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How To Speak With Your Heart

laitman_963.7Remark: A woman’s heart beats a little faster than a man’s: 70 beats for men and 78 for women. However, in couples living together, heart rhythms and breathing become similar, especially if their relationship is close. So claim scientists.

But even if people just do something enthusiastically together, their hearts become attuned to each other.

My Comment: This is the influence of people on each other. They become attuned if they work in the same team even if there are no close ties or shared hobbies, a single task or atmosphere.

The person’s influence on the environment is multifaceted. We see that people who live in a country acquire a common mentality, and if they live there for a long time, then they even acquire the features of those who inhabit this country. This does not depend on the people, but on the land itself where they live.

Question: How does it carry out in Kabbalah?

Answer: It is a very different story in Kabbalah. The fact is that by studying Kabbalah, we connect with each other not on the earthly level, where we live on the same land, breathe the same air, and become affected by the same, say, radioactive environment or some other parameters about which we do not even know.

We are passionate about our common goal and that is where we see ourselves. Moreover, we can see ourselves in this common goal only when we dissolve into our friends.

Therefore, in Kabbalah such union and interconnection develops that does not exist in any other form of human interaction. In Kabbalah, it turns out that we do not simply resemble each other, we create a system together, in which we become conjoined parts, and one cannot exist without the other. Therefore, everything is a degree higher here.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 10/2/18

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What Prevents People From Conceding To Each Other?

627.2Question: What prevents a woman from conceding to a man and vice versa?

Answer: Kabbalah does not deal with these problems. It suggests first rising above our egoism and only then arranging all kind of relationships: between parents and children, between men and women, between nations, and between everyone else. However, first we need to learn how to rise above our egoism.

That is, first men need to correct the connections between men, women between women, and only then in the family, in the society, and in all of humanity.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 4/29/18

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The Foundation Of The Family

Laitman_049.03Question: In the material world, people of the same mentality, soulmates, are more suitable to become a couple. What does being a soulmate mean? Do opposites attract in spirituality?

Answer: No. There is nothing good in being opposite. There is no need to think too much about this and try to build our life based on some novels.

It is desirable to be similar, especially in spirituality. Physically, of course, we are different. For example, male properties prevail in me and female properties prevail in my wife. There is nothing you can do and, frankly, you should not. However, the general direction in life is very important, otherwise we will not feel what is important to our partner.

If there are children in the family, it somehow fills our life. But, as it turns out, this is not enough any more in the modern world, and we no longer wish to marry and have children. Therefore, a real family is one with a common spiritual purpose.

Question: Does it mean, in your opinion, that people with different properties and mentality cannot live together?

Answer: No, our world will become more and more divided.

Question: What about spirituality?

Answer: If I feel that it is desirable for me to be close to this person in order to achieve a spiritual goal, then I will be with that person even if he or she is not very pleasant to me or I do not like some of his or her properties. We work on a spiritual level.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 2/25/18

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Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips – 1/28/18

281.01Question: If a woman has her own picture of the world, is the meaning of life also slightly different for her?

Answer: A woman wants to have a family, to organize herself, her children; that is how she feels realized.

Question: In the wisdom of Kabbalah is there a difference between the meaning of life and the purpose of life?

Answer: The meaning of life is in the achievement of adhesion with the Creator and the purpose of life is to bring all of humanity to this.

Question: Why are there contradictions on the level of our world that are unresolved? Are these obstacles that the Creator has set up on every level in the world?

Answer: Certainly. It is impossible to solve problems at their own level, in our world. To solve problems, it is necessary to ascend to the next level where they all come from. Therefore, our world always only discovers its own failure.

Question: Why has the Creator given people the possibility to feel each other and help each other if there is no higher meaning in it?

Answer: There is a higher meaning in it! Through these problems, lack of understanding, collision, and more and more dependence on each other in our global world, we are gradually reaching the need to connect together into a single whole. Then, within this single whole we will discover the singular upper force that created us as a single system, as a single person.

Question: Was there more suffering a few thousand years ago or were people less sensitive?

Answer: It could be that masses of people suffered more, but they felt it less.

Question: Was a primitive person happier throughout history?

Answer: Yes, everything that he had was from nature and it was good for him.

Question: Does the process of attaining the meaning of life depend upon knowing the laws according to which the world was created by the Creator?

Answer: Certainly. In principle, we learn all of these laws through the unity between us. So we don’t need to desire unique knowledge. All that is necessary is seen and learned through experience.

Question: Throughout the life of a person there is suffering. Does this mean that the meaning of life can be summed up as adhesion with the Creator, is this liberation from suffering?

Answer: Even liberation from suffering is included in the meaning of life, even though this is not its meaning. That is because attainment of the Creator is accompanied by tremendous happiness and joy, a feeling of eternity and wholeness. But these are all secondary feelings.
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From a Kabbalah lesson in Russian 1/28/18

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Paradise Without Men

Laitman_036In the News (The Points Guy): “When Kristina Roth isn’t busy catching flights, she somehow manages to head up an all-female island.

“That’s right, an island for women only.

“Roth is the founder of SuperShe Island, a health-focused luxury destination off of Finland that’s exclusive to women. …

“For Roth, the island is solely for encouraging women to build themselves up to be confident enough to do whatever they want in life. Her ultimate goal is to gather women from around the world to come together to relax and grow. But don’t assume Roth hates men — she doesn’t. As she puts it, being on vacation with men can sometimes be a distraction for women—‘whether it’s to put on a swipe of lipstick or grab for a cover-up.’

“According to Roth, women tend to be sidetracked by the presence of men and therefore she wanted to give woman another option in focusing on and reinventing themselves.”

Question: Is a woman’s paradise without men possible?

Answer: In principle, women in our time can independently provide themselves with everything necessary. Therefore, the question is really different: is there an inner psychological and spiritual need for the relationship between women and men?

We follow our desires forgetting that we live in the vast system of interaction. It is no coincidence that nature created us this way. At the beginning of evolution, the first primitive organisms were unisexual.

Then there was a division into two parts, and these parts, precisely on reciprocity and oppositeness, complement each other at all levels and in all aspects: physiological, physical, moral, and spiritual. Together they reveal the upper force between them.

Speaking in the language of Kabbalah, in the correct conjugation between the quality of bestowal and the quality of reception, a birth of spiritual progeny takes place—or revelation of the Creator.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman 02/13/18

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Understanding The Nature Of Women

627.2Question: Why do women try to prove their independence from men? What do they need it for?

Answer: Women feel their dependence on men; so, they need to prove that they are independent. Men should take this into consideration, understand the feminine nature, and give in to it.

It is very important for women to feel support, a shoulder to lean on. Women need a home, a family, and children, much greater needs than men.

Therefore, it is important to be considerate of these desires given to her by nature, which she must fulfill. Otherwise, she will constantly feel herself pressured, unfulfilled, unrealized, unsure. Men should provide this to women.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/31/17

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