Answer: In nature there are two genders, two extremes, two poles: male and female; there is no middle pole.
There are two forces: the force of the Creator, the bestower, the giver, the source, is the force of giving; and the force of the creature is desire, a deficiency, emptiness, a desire to be fulfilled, to attract to itself, and absorb everything into itself. These two poles, the positive (masculine) emits and bestows from itself and the negative (feminine) draws to itself and wants to be fulfilled.
The creature was initially feminine because in all of us there its only a single desire, a desire to be filled, meaning to absorb, to draw toward ourselves, everything that we initially want. So in relation to the Creator, all of us are feminine.
Later we divide into those who overcome their egoism and go toward others. They are able to transcend their egoism in spite of the desire to absorb, and they work with an intention to bestow, with altruism, concern for others, the fulfillment of others. They are called men (masculine). And those who cannot overcome their egoism and still want only to fill themselves, think only about this, are concerned in every minute, every second, every moment only that everything will be good for them, they are called women (feminine) by the wisdom of Kabbalah.
In the wisdom of Kabbalah, the genders are distinguished according to spiritual indicators: Someone who bestows is called a man (masculine), someone who receives is called a woman (feminine). In addition, a person can change and be in one state at any moment and in another moment, the other. This doesn’t depend on one’s corporeal gender. If a person longs for spiritual development, one longs to be a man in the spiritual sense, a bestower.
There were many female Kabbalists in history. In the spiritual sense, they were called men and were above all other men.
So we must not relate to gender from the physical or corporeal aspect of men and women but according to whether the person is a bestower or a receiver. Currently I would say the women who are studying with us long for the characteristic of bestowal more than the men.
Question: From the perspective of the wisdom of Kabbalah, in what manner must a man function in a family?
Answer: In a family, the man needs to provide an example of how he transcends his egoism. But preferably not in a physical form (although this is necessary, especially for children). A man must show an example to his children of longing for spiritual development, since without spiritual development our world will be destroyed.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16