Entries in the 'Education' Category

Family And Marriage, Part 6

laitman_600.04Time and Love for Children

Question: Do I understand correctly that nature instinctively instilled love for children in us only so that we would learn to treat other people the same way?

Answer: Yes and no. Over time, love for children will change. It is already changing. Today, people relate to children differently than before.

Throughout all generations there has been a draw, caring, and love for children, but all this is changing.

Since our desire, understanding of the world, and method of communicating with the outside world are changing, naturally, the attitude toward children as a part of the world is changing too.
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From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19

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Why Do Children Take Drugs?

laitman_961.1Question: Eleven-year-old girls in Berlin take ecstasy. An increase in the number of adolescents and children who abuse drugs has been recorded. This is of concern to both politicians and scientists.

When people take these drugs, they become sociable, feel like they are in love, and are more open to others. However, when the effect ends, they feel irritable, depressed, a loss of  strength and concentration. Such a “hangover” after taking the pills can last several days.

At the same time, a drug-related environment is growing in Berlin. You can go to a place where drugs can be tested for purity, and cleaned so as to avoid death.

These are eleven-year-old children! These are fourth graders. Where does such a craving for drugs come from in kids?

Answer: A young person wants to feel good and interesting. The world becomes good around him; something that he really lacks. The world becomes cheerful; something that is not in this world. The world is becoming friendly, which really it never is. He builds his world with this pill.

It is very hard for them. If some time ago people were in the ranks, and it satisfied them, they worked hard, and this put them in their place. However, the younger generation is unlike that, it does not want that. It wants to feel good in this particular way. Generations pass, and the German spirit is changing.

15% of Germany, France, and the UK are immigrants. This means that the social atmosphere is changing at a breakneck pace. The young generation of German children have to somehow adapt to this. They are taught, they are told, and they themselves see that they must somehow perceive the world that adults have made for them. This is not the same Europe anymore.

Question: You said that children are looking for a way out of themselves in order to leave the closed world they are in. How can I do that? What does the wisdom of Kabbalah say about this?

Answer: Kabbalah says that we have to make them a happy childhood. Adults need to try very hard to make this happen. We have to know how to do it, and they don’t.

Question: How can we do it?

Answer: By being connected through good relationships, and then, on this basis, create an atmosphere for children where they feel good, so that at eleven years old they would want to play among themselves, and not plunge into their world of illusion.

People have to build a society, but they do not. They obey multiculturalism and liberalism. The result is that they simply lose themselves and the next generation.

Interactions between people are something that they lack, and so they run away to pills.

We are present now at the rebirth of a generation. There was a generation of computers, then a generation of phones, and now this is already going to the next level.

Question: Scientists say that we live in a time that is lightning fast. Every second people send sixty million messages on social networks. If earlier, we perceived several frames per minute when we watched a movie, now we perceive several dozens. That is, we have become absolutely impatient.

Children apparently also want the result, they are perhaps unconsciously striving for, here and now. How can we overcome this impatience? In general, does impatience somehow help in our fast-paced time?

Answer: I disbelieve all of this because in the end a person needs to experience the fulfillment of his desires and feelings. He thinks he will fill it with a number of frames per second. It will not happen. He thinks that he will fill himself with the fact that he will travel around the world, forget himself, and feast his eyes—this will also end.

All this gradually ends. In addition, the crisis will not allow us to turn around the world this way and do what we want. A huge crisis is approaching, and I hope that it puts us all in our place.

Question: How can I replace an ecstasy pill with a spiritual “pill”—a “pill” of losing my temper?

Answer: Replacing with a spiritual “pill,” of course would be nice, but for this you and I will have to work very hard. We will have to spread this knowledge about the possibility of going out of ourselves into much higher spheres than ecstasy, telephones, computers, and so on.

The human being is practically unlimited in his comprehension, in his development, a sense of eternity and the perfection of nature. We have to show him that this is possible. We have to develop in him the opportunity to feel the upper world literally in childhood. I hope that we will live to see it.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 7/14/19

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Five Kinds Of Love

laitman_258Remark: People perceive the attitude of others differently. Gary Chapman, a relationship consultant and the author of the book The Five Love Languages, five million copies of which were sold, describes the different approaches and perceptions of each type of person, the way they perceive love.

He says that there are five kinds of love.

The first is when people like words. When love is expressed by words of encouragement, support, and praise.

My Comment: Usually, women and little children like this.

Remark: The other kind of love is “time.” Here, on the contrary, words are not needed. You need to spend time with a person, to pay attention to him, to be with him, and so on.

My Comment: Time itself arranges everything between them. Time affects everyone. As the saying goes: “Time is a great healer.” Things change over time.

Remark: There is a kind of love called “touch.” That is, people like tactile sensations: when they are hugged, stroked, and they experience positive emotions from this,

My Comment: Everybody likes that: children, women, animals, and even men.

Remark: The next kind of love is “gifts.” Every little thing matters such as a trinket, a treat, a note, some kind of surprise, or something unexpected.

And the fifth kind of love is “help.” Do something for the other, express your attention by actions, iron a shirt, clean floors, cook supper, or just help with something.

Scientists say that conflicts in couples arise due to the lack of understanding. If I want to hear nice, pleasant words and the other person wants an ironed shirt or to spend time together, we have a conflict, we simply do not understand each other. That is, conflicts arise precisely because of misunderstanding.

My Comment: It depends on the consumer, so to say, with whom I am dealing.

I cannot give ironed diapers to a child and win his love by this; he will not understand. Even if I give him some tasty, good food. He needs a special warmth, special treatment, and assurance.

If I deal with an animal, I must treat it on its level so that it will feel that it can trust me, that I am its owner, I protect it, feed it, give it water, and look after it. That is, I am its big companion and friend.

If we are talking about the friendly love between men, then first of all, this means supporting and understanding each other.

If it is love between a man and a woman, then everything goes: anything a man likes and anything a woman likes. And one does not like what the other one likes. However, if they understand what the other likes, they can arrange themselves in such a way that they will enjoy even things they could never imagine and come up with by themselves, but because the other enjoys them.

A woman likes gifts, signs of love, attention, and so on. A man, first of all, likes to be served and fed: “The way to man’s heart is through his stomach.” This is really so, because in regard to communication and especially love, men are more primitive than women. If a woman can in some way remind him of his mother, her attitude toward him, then that is it. He is already following her like a little duckling after the duck.

Remark: We see that over the years relationships between couples develop. First, there is a romantic period, then it transforms into a more complex relationship, and after a number of years they suddenly discover that they do not understand each other and did not understand each other during all these years.

My Comment: In principle, it can be taught. Yet, if there is no such education or these couples are still very young and have no experience, do not know how to protect their relationship, do not know how to forgive and to make an internal compromise without even talking about it and discussing it, then, of course, it is very difficult.

We need to teach this. It is a collective. Man and woman, or in any other combination: man, woman, and a child, or two men, or two women. Any number of people is a collective and it requires a completely different approach than with one person. Here, it is necessary to teach. It is quite complicated.

We see that we do not engage in such work. Even today at school they teach sex and do not teach how to treat the other as a person and not as an object of sexual fulfillment. It is very one-sided, crude, and beastly. It means that there is no education at all.

I remember when I still lived in Leningrad and studied at the faculty of medical cybernetics, we came to the Leningrad maternity hospital number two. There were 400 birthing mothers there. I asked the doctor: “What psychological training do you conduct with them?” He said: “Unfortunately, we do not have such specialists.”

Remark: We see that throughout humanity’s history, love is valued most of all. Poets and writers praise it. People as if follow an elusive dream.

My Comment: They want to sell this elusive dream.

Question: Why does humanity need love?

Answer: Humanity needs love because without it there can be no life on the animate level or on our level.

Even in sex, we see some kind of need for something bigger, although it is purely mechanical and animalistic, for the sake of pleasure at that moment and nothing more.

If sex were only about that, then we would only be mating like animals. But we have a need for warmth and care, for mutual support, the thing we call love.

Love is mutual support. Love is the feeling of being loved, of being taken care of, of being loved just the way you are. These are very serious emotions; animals do not have them. Even in regard to their cubs, animals only have feelings for a short period of time in order to nurse them so that they will not die from hunger, and then they part and never even notice and recognize each other.

Remark: There is always such a moment in love when two people seemingly love each other, but one imagines love in one way and the other one in another way.

My Comment: It is because we do not get an education. Love is a human relationship, a need, an attitude to the other. Therefore, we need to study it and to teach it. It is not sex, but rather the ability to fulfill the inner needs of the other person. It may have nothing to do with sex.

Question: What do we study about love? How to fulfill, how to change my habits in order to treat the other so that it will give him pleasure?

Answer: For that, it is necessary to feel what kind of person he is. This requires a serious mutual work with each other. And do not be shy. “I like when you stroke me.” “And I like it when you smile.” And so on. Explain. Everything is very simple.

“No, I want him to guess!” How can he guess?!

We must understand and openly talk about it and discuss it. Although young people do not like this at all, it seems to them that everything should be spontaneous, simple, and immediate. A person is a very complex, multifaceted animal.

Question: What is the key you would give people for the law of love that will help them in relationships in any situation?

Answer: In any situation, the first thing is to concede, as my teacher said. Love is an animal that is next to you and you must feed it with mutual concessions.

It is in a woman’s nature to adapt to a man. I do not belittle her for this in any way, on the contrary. She is wise. After all, she gives birth. She has to create a certain environment in order to raise children, and so on. That is, nature gave her such capabilities.

Man is very primitive. He just needs to be reminded a little bit of the things he received from his mother and he will be running after you like a little child after his mother. That is all.

I recommend to all the women: go to his mother and start asking what food he likes, what kind of service, and everything around him. The mother will be very pleased! She will understand that this is really the woman that will be able to replace her.

This is a very simple, primitive system of relations: to think only how to give pleasure to another, at least somewhat, just a little. However, this already requires wisdom, experience, and understanding of human psychology.

Good luck in love!
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman,” 12/19/18

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Imperfection Is Not A Hindrance

525Remark: Almost everyone of us wants to be good and strives to always be the best. Scientists claim that it takes courage to be imperfect.

My Comment: One who is always checking: Are you not bad; are you worse than others, etc.? This is an unhappy person. He does not rejoice in himself, but looks at everything only in comparison to others. Nothing good will come of it because we are all different.

It is possible to compare only if all my parameters coincide with all the parameters of another person and yet he is more successful than I am. But if we are different, then what is there to compare?

Let us assume that my parameters are worse in some way and the other person’s parameters are better in some way, or vice versa. Naturally, there will be differences. So what? In this case, they say: “Go to the craftsman who made me.” It does not depend on you.

Remark: Scientists claim that behind the desire to be good is caring for one’s own prestige.

My Comment: Naturally.

Remark: The one who is really worried about others will not waste valuable time to find out whether he is good or bad. He is simply not interested in it.

My Comment: Absolutely. Does he do it for the good of others or not?

Remark: It is stated here that he acts for his own good.

My Comment: So, it means that all this is vicious and nothing good will come of it in the end. One should only develop in the direction of a bigger benefit for others.

Question: What benefit does this bring a person?

Answer: That which he reveals to the Creator because there is no other good for people. Only to reveal the Creator to them.

What does it mean? To show them that there is a goal that must be achieved and help them in this. That is all, nothing more. Do not to think about yourself. It feels so comfortable, calm, and good.

Only when you think of others—a very good life. This is the most reliable, the best, and the most beneficial thing that a person can do—to help others reach the Creator.

This is the best state, when it does not matter what happens to you. The main thing is that you devote yourself to this craft.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman,” 6/25/19

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New Life #286 – Envy

New Life #286 – Envy
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

At its highest levels, envy can help us attain the unlimited feeling of eternal life. Although we can experience jealousy when it comes to food, family, and sex, these are more like drives that are necessary for the body, as with any animal. Men tend to envy the freedom to go out into the world and play with various toys. Women tend to feel jealous regarding beauty and fashion and compare themselves to other women. Like a bull chasing a red cloth, these types of corporeal jealousies form an effective engine for the development of the human ego. We balance the mind with the feeling of jealousy in order to self-realize and achieve what is desired. These types of jealousy based on anything limited and tangible that money can buy reflect what I have rather than what is inside of me. True, spiritual envy occurs when we move into the realm of control. People who ascend to eternal acquisitions are buying an internal, whole, perfect, and unlimited feeling that exists in nature, outside of their bodies, above time and space. They long to change the world with their idea or knowledge. They are like God in that they want to acquire wisdom and attain new horizons. This envy advances us into the beginning of a new life in the Garden of Eden.
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From Kab TV’s “New Life – Envy,” 1/12/14

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New Life #285 – From Desperation To Perfection

New Life #285 – From Desperation to Perfection
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

The epidemic levels of anxiety and despair that we see in society today are helping humanity to evolve to the level of Adam. People are less concerned for the well-being of their animalistic bodies today. The anxieties they are experiencing pertain more to an unknown future and questions regarding the meaning of life. What is life for? What am I living for? These are the questions that, when left unanswered, lead people, including children, into despair. We turn to antidepressants and other drugs, but remain unfulfilled. Humanity will reach unprecedented sorrow and will need to be educated in order to address this. They will need to be taught how to connect to the global, integral world. They will need to learn about nature’s plan and the force of wisdom that operates all of us. They will need to understand the thought of creation in order to realize their true human potential and calm all their existential deficiencies.
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From Kab TV’s “New Life #285 – From Desperation to Perfection,” 1/9/14

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New Life #284 – The Evolution Of Emotions

New Life #284 – The Evolution Of Emotions
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Emotions are a part of our desire to experience pleasure and evolve from the level of animal to the level of human or Adam. The mind or brain helps us fulfill our evolving emotional desires. We desire food, sex, and family within our animalistic bodies and money, honor, and knowledge in a more abstract way. The development of knowledge brings pain rather than pleasure as the masses begin to question what they are living for and can no longer find fulfillment. A growing sense of emptiness and depression pushes us toward the attainment of the upper degree. We experience the greatest pleasure when we rise above our own lives and attain the root or source of all life.
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From Kab TV’s “New Life #284 – The Evolution Of Emotions,” 1/7/14

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Who Are The Judges?

laitman_547.05In the News (The Guardian):  “Prisoners could be handed the keys to their cells to incentivize good behavior, as well as a series of other benefits, under government plans that call on governors to put more emphasis on rewards and less on punishments.

“Ministers want to give prison chiefs the power to begin allowing inmates who follow the rules more time out of their cells, the freedom to cook their own meals and more time to spend in the gym, as well as the freedom to choose when to shower and more time to meet visitors. …

“Officials cited evidence summarized by the government last month that positive reinforcement was more effective as a means by which to change behavior in the long term. And they stressed that those who did not abide by the rules could still lose privileges. …

“The policy also called for prison staff to ‘consistently use verbal reinforcement for good behavior and challenge poor behavior outside formal reviews’, and handed prison chiefs the ‘freedom to increase the amount of time out of cell for recreational activities or exercise alongside education and work programs’.”

Question: What do you think about this system of detention?

Answer: In principle, the Torah and especially Kabbalah feel that incarceration is not a correction. We see that it corrects nothing. On the contrary, people leave prison even more angry with huge malicious egoism that they again begin to use in everyday life among people.

Prison is not education. Education must be organized differently.

In the past, a few thousand years ago, there were cities of refuge where people were deported and looked after. They had to remain inside the city and had no right to leave it.

When the ones supervising them (educators, etc.) saw that a person was functioning normally, they could gradually take him beyond the boundaries of this system.

Remark: It is also said in the Torah that the guilty ones were sent there so that others could not take revenge on them.

My Comment: Yes. It was all organized very seriously for the mutual benefit of both these people and external society. Later they returned.

I would advise this. They should feel free and change gradually.

Remark: But still the idea of the accusers and those that endorse incarceration is different, “They must be humiliated, locked up.”

My Comment: That is natural because we do not have a system of education; we only have a system of coercion and punishment.

Question: Does the system of punishment not work?

Answer: We see that it does not work. Moreover, the rest of society becomes infected by these thoughts. We see proof of the insufficiency of the punishment system in the ones who return to the streets, destroy everything, break store windows, set up barricades, and so on.

Question: Do you think that even the most inveterate criminal can be re-educated?

Answer: I think that it is possible to re-educate them and give them an opportunity for self-control in these cities. They can establish such an order that all others will envy because there is a concept of honor among them. We must understand that they are serious people who can establish order.

Question: What should change in the way of thinking of law enforcement agencies and prosecutors?

Answer: I think they should be locked up instead of these criminals. Then their way of thinking would change. It is impossible to be on one side and think for the other side. Of course, I mean this as a joke, but there is some truth in it.

Remark: You always say that the system of judges used to be completely different. Judges were those who simply could not accept a bribe.

My Comment: Being a judge was the highest position. In principle, to this day it is considered that a judge should receive a good salary, should be protected and independent. But what kind of independence can there be today if all judges obey governments, all are in collusion with each other, “one hand rubs another,” etc.?

Remark: Previously judges did not need to be paid a lot.

My Comment: This is not the point. They really were independent.

Question: How was that possible? What is this ideal image of a judge?

Answer: A judge greatly valued his position. He cherished the public opinion that was constantly tuned in such a way that a judge was above everyone, even above a king. A judge was on the same level as the Creator. It is possible to see this in the Torah, in the Book of Judges. This is the highest position in the country.

Question: Is it possible to raise such people in our egoistic world?

Answer: For this, it is necessary to educate them. We need an education system, not a penal system and not this public one that is a mess. But it is possible.

Question: Do you think that what they want to do in Britain is a step toward education?

Answer: Let them try. But in order to build a correct system, the right people must build it. I do not hold out hope that they will succeed. People with a different way of thinking should create such a system.

Question: So, is this a dead end?

Answer: Yes. Until they turn to Kabbalists nothing will help them. Good luck, British ladies and gentlemen!
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman”, 7/16/19

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New Life #142 – Israelis Must Spread Integral Education To The World

New Life #142 – Israelis Must Spread Integral Education to the World

Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

The Israeli society is responsible for spreading integral education to all of humanity. Humanity is in a global industrial, political, and economic crisis that is advancing at an exponential rate. We lack direction and need simple versions of the method of correction to be distributed to everyone at all levels of society, according to what we can hear. Israelis need to find the niches in which the secular, religious, right, and left become weak and fill them with hope based on the new paradigm of mutual connection. Israelis need to form a world university for all the nations to learn this new system and trend. They need to develop materials, workshops, and creative ways to distribute the message, like in movies and TV series. We are moving toward a world in which people will not work and will no longer need to worry about their animal bodies, but will spend their time learning to feel and reveal the upper force, the power of bestowal, upon which all of nature is founded. It is up to Israeli society to be the pipeline of this force for all of humanity.
From Kab TV’s “A New Life #142 – Israelis Must Spread Integral Education to the World,” 2/17/13

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New Life #1154 – Experiences In Life

New Life #1154 – Experiences in Life
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

The ultimate experience is to discover the Creator, the upper force, which is the source of all reality. It is worthwhile to prepare and educate children before they go through experiences and summarize afterward so they can learn how to protect themselves. They need special treatment as they go through traumatic events like domestic violence. These days, people are constantly seeking out new thrills; however, the wisdom of Kabbalah raises us to a higher degree so that worldly experiences become like a grain of sand. In the process of spiritual development, our soul becomes our guide to attaining the truth and perfection of the upper world.
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From KabTV’s “New Life #1154 – Experiences in Life,” 8/13/19

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