Natasha writes:

Dear Michael Laitman,
Please tell me, why does this happen? All of us, without exception, so eagerly want to meet our soul mate and live with them in love and harmony, but in life, this remains only in our dreams. Or we find a partner and seem to live in harmony, but suddenly everything ends, and we part as enemies.

Today, the divorce rate reaches 70%. What is this? Just a moment ago, people were sure they would be together forever. Why does this happen?

Answer: Egoism! What can you do? Our nature is pure egoism that cannot tolerate another.

Comment: But just a moment ago…

My Response: It does not matter. They did not understand that they love others, meaning they could tolerate them nearby because they received great fulfillment from it.

Question: Is it only for that reason?

Answer: Of course, what else do we need from others? So as soon as a person feels they are not receiving that fulfillment from another, they want to cast them away.

Question: So the old idea that we meet and this feeling will be eternal and we will do everything for it does not work anymore?

Answer: No, that is childish babble.

Question: So we face an enemy stronger than us in the end?

Answer: Absolutely!

Question: Our nature is stronger than us?

Answer: Yes! It was created by the Creator.

Question: If we realize this, then we would stop making vows and we would be cautious?

Answer: What is the point in stopping to make vows? That will not change anything. Here, we need to teach a person how to control himself, how to arrange life with someone like himself, with another. This requires significant preparation.

Question: Does my understanding of myself as an animal help in this?

Answer: Yes, of course. It is a part of this realization.

Question: So, is such a statement correct: “It will be difficult with you, but we will try to stick together, and go through all the ups and downs together”? Is this kind of marriage agreement better?

Answer: Perhaps.

Question: They say we kind of bring the Creator upon ourselves when we promise something unconditionally. Maybe we should not promise?

Answer: There is no need to promise, that is for sure! We must know each other very well and understand that both egoists are coming together. How should we behave with each other so that our egoistic desires to use each other coincide rather than oppose each other in confrontation? And this is very important for us.

Question: Tell me, what practical steps should we take to advance together in this dance, as you say?

Answer: Consistently, with small steps. Take a little step forward, something goes wrong—take half a step back. Step forward again—half a step back. That is, one step forward and half a step back.

Question: What is this step forward? I feel rejection now, the time has come. I used to love all the time and now there is rejection. What do I do?

Answer: Now there is rejection, I reconsider my life, my current state, my partner, and I gradually come to the conclusion that I can continue to exist with this partner and I just need to establish some connection between us so that we understand each other more positively.

Question: Is this through conversation?

Answer: You can clarify this in conversation. You should not even talk about it but somehow show that now I am not capable of closer connection.

Comment: So, I kind of show this, and then her step is not to get closer…

My Response: More calmly, yes.

Comment: And from her side, when I feel irritation toward myself, I should also…

My Response: Yes.

Question: So, do we always have to maintain some distance?

Answer: Step aside.

Question: What about love, closeness?

Answer: You can only achieve that if you act in the way I just described. Then you will have normal mutual understanding, which will aim to foster love. That is, you will love another person for being a good partner.

Question: What do you mean by partner?

Answer: A partner is someone who understands you and builds a path from heart to heart next to you.

Question: In that specific state: two steps forward, one step back?

Answer: Yes.

Question: So we have to be vigilant all the time?

Answer: No, not to that extent, I don’t think. The most important thing is to forgive, and not only forgive, but also yield.

Question: For almost the entire time?

Answer: Throughout life.

Question: Even throughout life? So you know that you are entering into connection and specifically making concessions? Do I need to know this in advance?

Answer: Of course.

Question: Are we talking about both sides?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: When children come into the picture…

My Response: When children come along, men need to make more concessions because women already have additional, even greater responsibilities.

Question: So the golden rule that you always talk about is about making concessions?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Since we are constantly returning to the Creator, can we say that we and the Creator are like a couple?

Answer: To the extent that you yield in your earthly life, to that extent you can hope that the Creator will yield to you in your spiritual life.

Question: When I take a step back in family life, does the Creator also make His concession? Is He kind and good to me?

Answer: Yes, because it is evident from your actions that you are yielding in order to maintain or even progress in the relationship. Therefore, the Creator can do the same with you.

Question: In which case do we say that between us there is the Creator, between husband and wife is the Creator? Is it in this case?

Answer: Constantly.

Question: Is the idea that between us there is always the Creator and we must constantly strive toward Him and hold onto this for His sake, is this idea correct?

Answer: Yes.

Question: For His sake, is that correct?

Answer: For His sake, yes.

Question: So, He actually established that this couple should exist and should come together?

Answer: Yes.

Question: If we meet, who brought us together? Him?

Answer: In essence, the Creator.

Question: If we keep this in mind, is this a good path?

Answer: Yes.
[327259]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/18/24

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