On the spiritual path a woman has to set the desire, exert pressure on the man, and obligate him to advance. Similarly, in our world a wife pressures a husband to work and bring home earnings. And when there is a home and the means to exist, then we can give birth to children and raise them.
That’s how it works in spirituality as well: If we work on the correction of the soul together, then we give birth to new souls, new corrections. It is written about this, “Husband and wife, and the Shechina between them.” The revelation of the Creator occurs precisely between us, when we are together.
Both men and women have to contribute their share to these actions. No one is greater or smaller here. It is impossible to give birth without a woman. A new soul, a new spiritual Partzuf can only be raised by the force of the female desire.
In the process of correction no one acquires greater significance. No one is smaller or greater. Wherever something weighs less, something else counterbalances it according to the reverse order of the Lights and Kelim. Without a female desire a man is powerless, and a female desire without a male screen is also powerless.
Nevertheless, who is primary? It is the woman. That’s because the desire to ask for correction always comes from the woman. It’s the same in our world: Even though men think they succeed by their own abilities, in reality all of their activities happen only for the sake of women, only in order to acquire significance in the eyes of women. That is how we are built.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/6/11 on Women