Question: How should one choose a Kabbalistic partner?

Answer: A person’s partner is the Creator. With Him we must attain unity, complete adhesion. That is all. That is the partner. Everything else is only a means to that end.

All the fellow students, the friends, serve as what might be called “witnesses of your adhesion with the Creator”; they are the ones that provide your contact with Him.

Question: You are speaking now about friends. And a woman? Does she play some role in this?

Answer: A woman must understand your work, its importance, and must not hinder it.

Question: Isn’t she the spiritual woman with whom I can advance?

Answer: You should not think about a “spiritual woman.” Your spiritual partner is the group.

And a wife, it is desirable that she understands you, that she herself aspires to this, and does not hinder you, although disturbances can also be a help along the way.

Comment: Now you are speaking about a woman as a disruptive element. But recently you said that she is a very important element.

My Response: I said that one must choose a wife who will be close to you and similar to you in her understanding of family life rather than someone who pursues a lifestyle and earthly goals that are completely at odds with yours.

We know that the basis of spiritual development is your similarity, common aspirations, common mentality, and common language. Similarity in your parents’ families is already a guarantee that further on there will be mutual understanding rather than disagreements, because all of us are drawn to those values that we received in our upbringing.

In addition to this, similarity in the spiritual goal is necessary, the goal that fills our life and stems from the spiritual understanding of the state. A spiritual state consists of a vessel and a filling.

The vessel is everything that is familiar to me, what I understand as life, that is, the existing conditions, values, and earthly habits. The filling is what I want to fill my life with so that all this will more or less suit both her and me. Then everything will be fine.

Besides that, one must look at what environment I am in, so that it will be suitable for both of us. I cannot find a suitable partner and then go somewhere to Asia and join an Asian group. This too must be more or less suitable for us, so that a person will not feel too great a contradiction. Although in our groups this is not so sharply expressed. Today the world is very close in all its ways of life.

We must strive precisely for such similarity, and through it for similarity to the Creator. Attaining complete similarity is the most comfortable point.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Spiritual Couple” 9/15/10

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