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Answer: There is something unique among women in comparison to men. It is not required of them to overcome their natural barrier between them. But in the spiritual work, they must be like the men.
Nobody requires them to, nobody demands of them the same method of connection as it is with the men. But inwardly, they are ready for this and must work on it especially between them.
And afterwards, both a particular detachment, ascent is created, and the sensation that you are a woman and this is a man disappears, when this outer envelope disappears, and becomes unimportant, then on one hand, what will remain is the physical world, and on the other hand, the spiritual world; both of them will be precisely differentiated: this being our beastly nature and that the soul, then they will be able to work like the men.
But until that moment there is a difference between men and women and therefore, we need to rise and desire spiritual attainment separately. Certainly we need to help each other in everything, but if we begin to work together, then we only become confused. We confuse images from the physical world and spiritual work and the outcome is very bad.
Therefore, in no way must we intersect in a serious way. Mutual help, supporting the center, dissemination, everything else is done together, except for spiritual work. Sometimes even the workshops can be jointly arranged. But in general, connection needs to be differentiated according to gender.
You understand and feel this yourselves that you can easily become confused. Moreover the women get more confused than the men. A man understands what he needs whereas a woman confuses spirituality with materialism, for her it is as if it is the same thing. And this is not at all so. She is simply lying to herself without understanding and feeling this.
When you pass through the Machsom and really begin to feel the upper world, you will then understand how much this would have been a mistake. But until then, no. And therefore with us everything is strictly divided into masculine and feminine parts.
Don’t interfere with the men, this is the first condition. Second, learn among yourselves. Nobody calls upon you to hug. Do everything that is beneficial for your connection.
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day One” 7/12/13, Lesson 2
Question: The emptiness that we must find within us and fill, is this work with the ego?
Answer: Certainly. Emptiness is an egoistic desire that appears in me which I want to fill. These could be simple physical desires and they could be spiritual desires. With the spiritual desires this is slightly more complicated since I can never fulfill them by myself. And even the physical desires, basically, are only relatively fulfilled.
The idea is that I need to realize the spiritual desires that appear in me in someone else, to fulfill him, which is to say to transform “minus” into “plus.” A Kli is a very great negative desire or minus. I make a Tzimtzum (restriction) on it, the Masach (Screen), then the Ohr Hozer (Reflected Light), and in spite of this inner negative desire, I place someone else’s fulfillment above my desire. It follows that I transform the place where I feel emptiness into a mechanism for the fulfillment of the other or of the Creator, which in fact is the same thing.
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day One” 7/12/13, Lesson 2
Question: Should we look for deficiencies and emptiness in the group?
Answer: Don’t you know what the friends want? They don’t need to say anything because it is clear to you that they want the revelation of the attribute of bestowal, the attribute of love among them. Thus, they will begin to feel everything else, all of creation, and the Creator that fills everything. This is why you are their friend.
You only correct and adapt your intentions, your desires, and your yearnings so they will be more similar to the Light. Then everything will work out and you will succeed in everything.
Question: But if the friends don’t speak about their desires, there is a kind of emptiness, a silence…
Answer: This happens because you don’t feel them, you don’t feel how much they want spirituality.
We have just heard some comments from the women. It is indeed different from what the men say. They all feel how much they long for spirituality, how much they want and yearn for it. Perhaps they didn’t speak very accurately, but this inaccuracy will be corrected until the end of correction, until the world of Ein Sof (Infinity). On the whole it was amazing!
What don’t you understand? No one in this world has the desires that I feel here in each of you. Everyone else in this world, except for the desires of our global group, is on the animate level.
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day One” 7/12/13, Lesson 2
We must equally yearn for Israel, the Torah, and the Creator, so they will emerge into one whole. It is as if there is an equilateral triangle: Israel, the Torah, and the Creator and you yearn to be in the center of this triangle.
Israel is a person who yearns for the Creator. The Torah is the means by which we reach connection, the unity in the group. The Creator is revealed in the group. If these three components are equally important to us and are connected into one concept, we can advance.
These three components will constantly draw further apart and we have to try and connect them into one concept again, and to work in this way. If we don’t want the state that was attained in the convention to ever come to an end, we have to connect these three components and bring the upper force into this connection that will hold the whole convention together.
Of course, we will feel how this feeling cools down and fades a moment later. We will have to make sure that we connect and feel warmth, and repeat this time after time. It is the feeling of detachment and of cooling that is a sign of the expansion of the vessels and of our advancement.
Everything is measured according to the importance of the Creator, we can learn about His importance only realizing without Him, we cannot connect. Without our connection we cannot even come close to a spiritual state. We must understand that the descent and the detachment that we feel now is a space, a place that the Creator gives us into which we must bring Him. Then all our hopes and expectations will be filled.
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/19/13
Question: We have completed the campus courses and have begun the work in the group. I see the deficiency of my friends, but there is still no feeling of resistance. Why? Is it because we aren’t trying enough to connect?
Answer: Very true! You have answered your question. If you don’t long for unity, then you won’t feel the rejection. What reason is there to reveal to you the negative broken attributes in you if you don’t have any preparation for this?
First of all, the group is not cohesive in the correct way. Secondly, it seems that there is still no understanding of how important this unity is. Thus, what is happening to you now are still not those attributes that need correction, even though there might be some weakness and rejection.
Question: How is it possible to enhance this work in order to really feel the rejection through which we can work in a more intense way?
Answer: Execute our instructions. There is nothing else.
It can be that you carry out all the activities, take part in the workshops, study, gather together, but do it in a formal way, without yearning for a connection with each other. This means that subconsciously you are guarding yourselves from cooperation that is more internal and close knit.
Here at the convention there are people who are not able to overcome this obstacle, are not able to “expose” their hearts. Expose it, remove the outer covering and discover it. Don’t be afraid of this!
You are afraid they will stab it and cause something very sensitive and unpleasant. Don’t be afraid! Cautiously, with fear, try to expose it. It can’t be any other way if we want to become one heart. We need to remove and pull off this outer covering from each of the hearts.
From the Convention in St. Petersburg 7/12/13, Lesson 2
The Torah, “Exodus,” “Mishpatim,“ 21:23 – 21:25: But if any harm follow, then thou shalt give life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.
People perceive everything that the Torah writes about, linearly and egoistically. The Torah speaks exclusively of unity among people and about establishing a general integral image that is called Adam (similar to the Creator).
Every single person, with no exception, participates in creating this image (Adam). Whether we want it or not, all of us are involved in crafting this giant. Our involvement should correspond to the instruction called the Torah (derived from Ora’ah, which translates as “the instruction”). It describes the ways of self-correction that happen when we make mistakes. As in any instruction, there is a chapter on possible errors and the ways of fixing them.
This explains why the above-mentioned misfortunes with eyes, hands, feet and other injuries are all about the liaisons among people that exist at the level of ten Sefirot. They must replenish any defects they caused since “misfortune” means an unintentional damage.
When in a downfall, if one intentionally, egoistically, and malevolently harms or inhibits a general integral system or damages a collective process of correction, then other laws come into force.
Question: What is meant by, “to give life for life, eye for eye?”
Answer: It is about the levels of correction—Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama—that we are obligated to replenish.
The world perceives the entire Torah at a corporeal level. Various beliefs, teachings, and dogmas have originated from the Torah. This has continued for thousands of years.
If we are talking about the earthly implication of the Torah, it is said that there are “no slaves, nor masters.” Everyone is absolutely equal before the law. It describes a society that has never existed yet. Corruption resolves any issues in this world. Pay enough money and do whatever you want.
If you read “The Laws of Kings” by Rambam, you’ll see that there were lots of restrictions that were imposed on kings as compared to a few limitations for commoners. In other words, according to the Torah, everyone is equal.
From KabTV’s “Mysteries of the Eternal Book” 5/20/13
In the News (from Raw Story): “’There is a cyberwar going on,’ Hamadoun Toure, secretary general of the International Telecommunication Union, said during a cybersecurity debate at the Geneva Press Club.
“’Just like a conventional war, there are no winners, only destruction,’ he warned an audience of reporters, diplomats and technology experts.
While Toure declined to pin the blame on individual countries, such attacks have become common currency. …
“In an increasingly connected and Internet-dependent world, cyber attacks by governments and criminal gangs alike have the potential to wreak havoc on everything from the financial sector to key public services, Toure said.
“’No one single entity can do it alone. We have to change the mindset. Are we mentally prepared to work with one another?’ he asked.
“’In this arena, there’s no such thing as a superpower anymore,’ he said, given that is it cheap to create viruses and launch attacks.
“’It’s the human brain that’s driving this. So we’re all equal in this, and we need to come together. That’s the new order. It’s not one country. It’s not like a nuclear power, where the technology, the knowledge base and the infrastructure and the funding are required for that.’
“’We have to treat cyberspace like we treat the real world,’ he added. ‘What’s true in the real world is true in cyberspace. Some people say we’re in a new environment where the rules are completely different. We’re not. Because humans are at the centre of this.’”
My Comment: As nature reveals itself as an integral whole, our connection and interdependence will be constantly revealed in increasing scale and depth. Agents like Snowden (not traitors) and residents are required to let the world know that “everyone’s hands are in everyone elses.” Thus the process of liberation from boundaries only shortens. This requires a psychological revolution in people by means of the method of integral education, but this is only possible in the integral analog system in which we find nature and ourselves.
Everyone knows that family life is not easy, and it should not be allowed to drift. If we, as a couple, advance along the path of mutual development, then we can define three “territories” in our relationship:
These territories, in turn, are subdivided into smaller parts, but we are limited to the general division.
The point is that we cannot manage without a primary, basic love. It is like royal marriages where they did not even know each other before and do not have a common point of contact, a point of love. However, young people of today as a rule get married on the basis of some attraction toward each other, driven by at least one spark that happens between them.
Question: How can partners build their relationship correctly in order to fan this spark, to extend the common territory?
Answer: First of all, we turn to the mind, not feelings. A warm feeling that once passed has already disappeared, and the memory of it is deformed by layers of subsequent phases. People even don’t realize that this is a natural thing, hormonal, material, and moreover, is subject to habits and various standards, just as artificial as it is changeable. For instance, if I have grown accustomed to family closeness, then my feeling is more stable, and if my partner matches my physical nature, he or she has a greater impact on the subconscious level.
In short, a flash of the familiar feeling was spontaneous, without thought, and now we want to engage the mind to analyze this outburst. Only the mind will help us to retrieve it from the past, that beautiful past when we used to walk hand in hand and live in harmony, unable to part, and were so passionate that we looked like a couple of idiots with perpetual smiles on our lips. We want to recreate this feeling so that it would sweeten our life and give it taste, meaning, and in this way, we will also be able to radiate warmth and involvement to our children and loved ones. I don’t even mention that according to numerous studies that harmony in the family strengthens health and promotes longevity.
This is why we need to turn to the mind.
First of all, we agree with each other as to how much my partner can demand from me and I from her. Everyone rejects some part of his comfort, in other words, his egoism, and supports and encourages the partner in the daily routine, in business and discussions. We demonstrate this approach to each other as a good example.
Second, each of us turns and relates to the other as to the best, most important, most clever, unique person in the world. We do not shy away from exaggeration, do not avoid high words and compliments. On the contrary, we look for them. I make a list, for example, of twenty lines, although it is not that easy and use it as often as possible. Habit becomes second nature. I really will begin seeing in my “half” what I ascribe to her.
No one demands sincere feelings from me initially. I imagine a beauty queen in my style: A beautiful, highly sensible, a wonderful hostess, a perfect mother, attractive, sexy, and so on. I relate to my wife as if she meets all these parameters until I really recognize all these qualities in her.
In essence, we use the same principle in the group for work with the friends, raising them in our eyes.
So, I mentally paint an image of the best wife in the world, the image that encompasses all aspects of life, all situations. However, it is not limited to fantasies. I work on myself to really treat my wife as if she is that image. I literally “program” myself and our relationship.
Question: So, do I have to ignore reality?
Answer: There is no objective reality. I always see the things that I paint on the “canvas” of my consciousness. In fact, I do not notice my partner, although we live together. I am so used to her that, only occasionally, do I focus on more prominent edges behind the external appearance. In addition, by nature, men are more superficial, while the woman looks deeper, and in this sense it is easier for her to overcome external obstacles.
Either way, having painted an ideal for myself, I “clothe” it on my partner. From now on, she is exactly like this for me and the point is not in appearance. I internally infuse all her qualities with perfection. Let it be selfish. “This is my wife, and, thus, it is the best it can be.”
Of course, this takes effort. I generate this attitude as if I see a painted ideal before myself. All the virtues of the world concentrate in it. I mentally put her on a pedestal, on the queen’s throne, and do not lower her from this height no matter what. Everything in her is perfection, and if I do not like something, it is because egoism covers my eyes.
I repeat, the main thing in this picture is not the external details, but the respect, the reverence, with which I am imbued, the value that the ideal gains in my eyes. Precisely this value, this attitude, I transfer on to my partner. Nothing prevents my imagination from being turned in the right direction and becoming programmed with a certain vision.
We are engaged with a partner in this inner work mutually, deliberately, and consciously. We discuss it. We show each other examples in every situation, accept each other as perfect. Indeed, our eyes see a different picture although later even this will change. However, we shift toward a new relationship, planned for the time being, but serious.
For example, the house is a mess that I cannot stand, and at the same time, I behave with my wife as if she has put everything in its place. I accept the order the way she sees it. I am not looking even for excuses. I initially want and make myself see everything in her and everything that depends on her as perfect.
This is our conscious, mutual concessions, the rejection of egoistic attitude. Working in this way, in a week, I suddenly will find out that everything has changed. It turns out that I really see her as flawless in everything, as she sees me. Love blossoms in our common territory.
In one word, “no pain, no gain.” Love comes when I show my partner an example that I accept him or her, that he or she is very welcome, despite all the negative that I see in him or her. I show love, the same love as for my own baby who is always irresistible in my eyes, however it may be.
In the end, a fairy tale will come true, and love that sprouted and got stronger between us will require no tricks. Any problem will provide us with new opportunities for compromises, concessions, and even more love.
That is why it is said that love will cover all transgressions. It can grow only with their help. If it were not for them, I would not even look at my wife. In this way, any glance reveals something bad for me. This is human nature.
This is where the work begins where we must learn to look at life objectively without dependence on our own desires, fantasies, and passions. We are building the world ourselves, not wishful thinking but by our attitude together we recover the desire from oblivion until it replaces the previous reality.
From a “Talk about New Life” 7/30/13