Entries in the 'Women' Category

A Sense Of Humor In Men And Women

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Who has a more developed sense of humor, men or women?

Answer: Men do because men consist of two parts, male and female. Whereas women consist only of the female part. Women’s imagination  is directed towards corporeality, while men’s goes beyond it.

Therefore, men are great dreamers, romantics, writers, good chefs, chess players, and so on. How many women work in high tech, where new discoveries and inventions are being made? Not many. Mostly these are men. But women prevail in other things. And we must accept this division with respect because one cannot exist without the other. So take care of both women and men.
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From KabTV’s lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Women’s Spiritual Purpose

laitman_281_02Question: Are the Kabbalistic friendship, love, and mutual responsibility possible between women? Or is such a depth of mutual spiritual inclusion more typical of men?

Answer: Yes, it is more typical of men. It is much harder for women to become friends. They can unite among themselves only in order to help the men. This is their purpose and this is how they should behave.

It is practically impossible for one woman to be a true friend of another woman. Yet, to achieve the upper goal, to help the men and to connect with the Creator, they can unite with each other because they have a specific goal that isn’t between them, but above them.

Question: Who is more egoistic, men or women?

Answer: They have different type of egoism. Therefore, I can’t say who is more egoistic. It is easier for men to be connected with each other, and for women it is easier to be directed to the goal.
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From KabTV’s Lesson in Russian 11/12/16

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Why Are There So Many Single Women?

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Why there are so many single women nowadays?

Answer: It is because our ego grew so much that we cannot get along with each other. Women may claim that men cannot get along with them, and men may say the opposite. Our ego is so big, confused, and complicated that we cannot stand even the best person for very long.
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From KabTV’s Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Congratulations On International Women Day!

laitman_244Dear Women!

You are a remarkable, special part of humanity, representing the very essence of nature. You are close to it and therefore make less mistakes than we do. You are more correct.

You give life to everyone. A man is born of a woman. He loves a woman. He gives her everything he has (if this is a right man). And a woman represents the entire nature of the world.

Today we are still unable to fully appreciate woman’s role in nature. However, we have to keep in mind that this is the entire creation in general.

A man is just an auxiliary force, designed to correct this creation slightly by his consequent participation. If he positions himself correctly by switching from the intention for himself to the intention to bestow to a woman, the entire nature will be corrected and will come to its tranquillity.

Let’s hope that it will happen if not today. then very soon.

I wish you, as well as myself and all the men, great success in this!
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The Power Of Motherhood

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: We know that motherhood leads to a great change in a woman’s life. What exactly changes in her? What does she have to give up? What new process takes place in a woman when she becomes a mother and what does she have to prepare for?

Answer: A woman who becomes a mother gradually moves from the level of an individual person to a level of a system, which she enters. If previously she felt that she was an individual and not connected to anyone except her home, her parents, and her husband, she feels that she becomes dependent the moment she has a baby; she becomes connected and even captivated by her baby, who is now by her side, obliging her, tying her down, absorbing all her attention, and enslaving her to such an extent that there is nothing more important in the world for her than caring for him.

When I stroll in the park, I see young women sitting on benches with baby carriages speaking to one another. Each one is constantly looking at her baby while speaking to the others: “Perhaps he needs something or perhaps I can do something for him.” This goes on continuously. The baby doesn’t need that much attention, but her motherly nature obliges her to constantly care for him.

Imagine what would happen if we had to post a policeman next to every mother to make sure that she didn’t leave her baby alone. It would be impossible.

But the natural force that awakens in a woman after she gives birth is a great force. It is a force that spurs and gives birth to life. There is no more powerful force that creates dependence, love, connection, and care other than the force that is born in a woman who becomes a mother. It gradually grows weaker later on and takes on other forms because a mother can have more children and has to pay attention to all of them.

Still of all human desires, the dependence of the baby on her and her care for him is above everything else by far. It is because of all the other desires for food, sex, family, wealth, and respect, the desire to care for her baby, to be connected to him, precedes all the other desires and is more important than them all.

I emphasize this because in order to bring humanity to a state of harmony with nature and on which the positive advancement of humanity depends to reach a bright future, we have to use this force. It is because it is natural and we don’t have to look for anything artificial.

We only need one thing: to bring mothers together and explain to them in a simple and convincing manner that the integral method we recommend to the world is the best thing and is the only way that can promise their children a good, safe, and healthy future.

We should explain to every mother, for the good of her child, what the system of connections we have to establish in society, what we all have to prepare so that her baby will have a wonderful world to grow and develop in as every mother dreams of.

We don’t need to convince them any other way other than to simply explain to every mother what will create the best world for her baby and what we have to do so that her baby will have the right environment. We will not need to do anything else.
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From the program “A New Life” 5/15/14

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A Crisis In Familial Connections

Dr. Michael LaitmanIn general, nature obligates us to have extended connections in order to form stable environments for a person that will accompany him throughout his whole life, regardless of the processes and situations that he experiences.

However, even though we understand the original specifications of nature, we also see our defects that make it impossible to withstand the demands of nature and don’t permit the building of a normal life, even in merely physiological terms.

As far as it seems, this requires work from our side, hard work that is not easy that is inherent only in human freedom of choice. And the freedom of thought, word, and deed, which makes it possible to construct an independent life, is particularly expressed in the right approach regarding family. Accordingly, we must fulfill what is not activated within us instinctively through our nature.

I must be loyal to family, loyal to the nurturing and education of children until they are able to stand on their own and begin to establish their own families. And according to Jewish tradition, even though a person reaches adulthood at the age of thirteen and truly becomes an adult and independent at the age of twenty, even this is relative. Until then, nature obligates us to take care of him.

Nowadays it is difficult for people to sustain a family for such a long period of time. This again testifies to the crisis we are found in.

Fifty or sixty years ago, divorces seemed like a big disaster. People discussed such cases as something surprising and not understandable, as something exceptional. So as long as there was no social agreement about this issue, divorces were not easy and acceptable. People became divorced in very rare cases. Today it is difficult even to imagine what would have to happen for people to be ready for this type of situation.

However, in the last half century, the situation has changed dramatically. Now most couples get divorced, people get married a few times and raise children from different marriages. This no longer surprises anyone. Women sometimes prefer to have children without a husband and generally don’t want to marry.

When I appear before an audience, I sometimes ask an audience of 2,000 to 3,000, “How many single people are there present in this hall?” In this way they become aware that up to 80% of the participants are not in a familial relationship. And this is about people between the ages of 30-40 on average.

After that I ask: “Who among you is ready to get married?” Then most of those who respond positively are men, not women, which confirms that this is true. Somewhere inside, women don’t feel a need for family and children. Maybe something lacking is somehow burdensome to them, but to decide to marry and begin to create familial relationships, to feel involved and committed, is so difficult for our growing ego that they prefer to remain single.

They can take care of themselves relatively easily. They can provide themselves with all the necessities. Especially in our day, women often work better than men. In addition, they know how to manage home economics. Even though they are busy, they remain sufficiently free of all kinds of obligations and are open to the opportunities that the modern world offers.

On the other hand, it is not so easy for men. They lack the feminine care, they feel a bit more “suspended in air” than women, and often they are not prepared to take care of themselves. However, they also see family as a burden, a heavy yoke. If it were possible, modern man would prefer his mother over his wife. Family and children with all of their implications are not for him.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/22/14

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Spiritual Partners

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: The family influences every aspect of a person’s life. If a person has a problem in the family, he cannot actively participate in the group or in any kind of work. The more we advance, the more we understand that without the group’s support it is practically impossible to hold on in the framework of the family. How can we establish an environment that will support a person in that respect?

Answer: A family is just like the group. Otherwise it could not exist in this world.

But today there is a crisis in the family and everyone is getting divorced and no one wants to live a normal life. Everyone understands that the traditional family doesn’t exist anymore, which means that a new type of family should emerge.

In the future, people will live with one another partly for the sake of the children, for the common property, but mainly for the idea. If I feel that I advance and my wife advances too, since our goal is above all the daily corporeal differences between us, our family will stand the test of time.

I believe that a person should raise himself to this level when he chooses a partner for life according to this idea.

My teacher, Rabash, used to say that from a physical perspective, it is enough that two young people like each other and the appearance of one doesn’t repel the other and that’s all. Everything else is meaningless since they are spiritual partners.

In order to achieve this, we have to develop the group this way, so that women take part in it, disseminate, and are incorporated into meals and into all group matters.

We should pay attention to them and treat them like partners, so they will feel how important they are and will feel that they benefit from this kind of life and from their participation in it.

By the way, a woman can incorporate into everything very easily, especially if she participates in it with her husband and they share views rather than just physical aspects.

We should pay attention and engage in this. Otherwise, there will be a divorces and the formation of new families. We have no other choice. Even if we had a choice, we would still have to include women in dissemination and in our collective life. Respect them, pay attention to them, and give them a place.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/24/14, Questions and Answers with Dr. Laitman

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A Female Ally

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Should women inspire the men?

Answer: Women can inspire men better than anyone else. Imagine that your wife is impressed by you and keeps saying: “You are so clever, so handsome, so special! I look at other men and see that you are much stronger and better than them!” If a woman felt that way about you, you would immediately run home and sit by her like a little boy listening to everything that she says. This is what men are like.

Women can manipulate men anyway they like. If a woman is clever, if she aims at the goal and understands what she does it for, I will only be grateful to her just for starting to work on my nature. I will not brag and be proud of being a “macho.” On the contrary, I will be totally honest with her: “The ego is my nature, it is a contemptible zero! Help me exit it! Let’s resist it and change it together. Then we will do the same with you.”

This is where we should annul ourselves. Let’s be our own psychologists a little and look at ourselves from the side. This is the only way we can exit this state. We also try to do the same thing in the group, by putting ourselves above it and then below it so that it will impress us.

We have to do the same thing in the family, by constantly ascending and descending one with regards to the other, but what for? In order to attain the upper goal! So I don’t care about the relations with the family as long as they are aimed correctly and are set on the goal. A woman is your major assistant, she knows you better than anyone else, so her right attitude towards you can help you exit your nature quickly.

We should have special courses for teaching married couples about the right mutual relations and how to change people’s egoistic nature. You will see how you will be able to positively influence your kids afterwards. They will be good, kind, disciplined, and wise. We should take advantage of such opportunities. The main thing is to be more mature. The importance of the goal justifies everything.

We know that in the past Kabbalists were actually happy when they had bitter, angry wives. But our wives are not angry or bitter. They are following the spiritual path with us, helping us, and advising us as to how we should work with our ego and use it for the right cause.

We need to understand that we are connected only for this common goal which determines our relationships, and that we do everything to attain it. This means that I don’t want to play with your ego in any way; I don’t want to use it in order to stab you, no! We should behave wisely, gently, and tactfully with regards to one another to the extent that we can use ourselves and our partner correctly.

This is what we should learn. You cannot imagine what a great tool this is for our correction. We can change our planet with it! To be honest, you don’t need anyone but a female ally. You need the group only in order to connect the two of you correctly.

In any case, during the transition period there are quite a few families in which the partners are moving in different directions. In that case a person needs a group. By the way, a group of women is very serious support with regards to the men’s group. Take this seriously. Progressing through the right methods of interaction, you will see how much it helps you.
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From the Moscow Virtual Convention “Unity Without Boundaries,” 12/14/13, Lesson 4

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