Kabbalah & Women

An insight into women’s inner quest and spiritual development

Women need fewer conditions to advance spiritually than men do.

A woman, on the other hand, can advance spiritually even if she is not a mother or a wife. Moreover, if she has the means for existence, she may also choose not to work. That is, in comparison to a man, a woman is relatively self-sufficient and can grow spiritually without many external conditions that apply to men. Thus, from the spiritual point of view, she is a considerably more perfect creature than a man.

A man has to overcome himself, to constantly convince himself that it’s worth staying on the spiritual path. He is less susceptible to spiritual advancement than a woman, who naturally aspires toward everything spiritual. She is ready to accept, feel and understand all of the spiritual transformations that are happening in her. She yearns for this.

The need for the spiritual ascent is manifested much more in a woman. She feels unsatisfied with our world, disappointed in family and work. A man looks for foolish passions, such as football, beer, friends and so on, and then gets lost in them. He lives pursuing false goals. A woman is unable do this. She perceives emptiness more internally and acutely. She cannot appease herself with such petty goals and temporary painkillers. More often she embarks on a spiritual search and comes to study Kabbalah.

We see this happening all over the world. More than half of the 1.3 million students studying within the framework of the Kabbalah Institute are women.

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Kabbalah & Women

An insight into women’s inner quest and spiritual development

The men draw the Light and the women provide them with the desire for correction.

The phrase “man and woman coming together” brings up images for all of us that have absolutely nothing to do with what it really signifies. To us, we see corporeal men and women relating to each other as their bodies, minds and emotions direct them.

In Kabbalah, the coming together of man and woman is not about Adam and Eve or even about men and women. It is about a part of humanity that is masculine and a part that is feminine. The reason for their coming together is to complete one another and bring about the general correction of mankind. When the men study the wisdom of Kabbalah and draw the Light, the women provide them with the need, the desire, the fuel to fire their energy for this correction. Each has their part, neither is more important than the other, and neither can do without the other.

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Kabbalah & Women

An insight into women’s inner quest and spiritual development

The reason there are women who regret having children is due to a major transitional process taking place in our era. Likewise, the countermeasure to this feeling of regret is to understand the nature of this transition and learn how to optimally adjust to it.

Why do some women regret having children? Also, is there something that could be done to redirect that feeling of regret?

The reason there are women who regret having children is due to a major transitional process taking place in our era. Likewise, the countermeasure to this feeling of regret is to understand the nature of this transition and learn how to optimally adjust to it.

Where we once lived to fulfill basic, instinctive, animal-like desires to hold a stable home and raise a family, today a new desire belonging specifically to humans emerges. This new desire demands a completely different kind of fulfillment: Instead of fulfilling our instinctive animalistic desires for food, sex, shelter and family, and earning enough money to supply for those needs, today’s new desire seeks a sense of meaning and self realization.

By weaving childbirth and motherhood into the fabric of fulfilling the desire for meaning and self realization, feelings of regret would be replaced by feelings of motivation and purpose. This is because the fulfillment of this new desire brings about the discovery of a higher reality.

Women Who Regret Having Children

While taboo, women regretting having children has been a phenomenon increasingly coming out of the closet. Online discussions like Reddit’s “Have you ever wished you didn’t have kids? If so, why?” and Quora’s “What is it like to regret having children?” have hundreds of comments. The Facebook group “I Regret Having Children” has grown to over 7,000 members. Sociologist Orna Donath analyzed the accounts of 23 Israeli mothers who regretted having children in her analysis, Regretting Motherhood: A Sociopolitical Analysis, which quickly gained popularity. Also, two bestselling books appeared on the topic, Corinne Maier’s No Kids: 40 Good Reasons Not To Be A Mother and Sarah Fischer’s Regretting Motherhood. Fischer also reported getting 80 emails a day from mothers thanking her for her work.

Recurring themes to the regret include feelings of restriction: less time for oneself, less time for socializing, an inability to pursue career and/or travel ambitions, and the comparison to non-parent peers who seem to be doing a lot more with their lives.

Identity crisis emerges as the birth of the child gives “birth” to the mother. She feels her new identity as a lifelong burden. Moreover, the beautiful little baby quickly becomes a commanding little manager. The woman’s individual potential appears to become overshadowed and suppressed by her role as mother.

Why Does This Regret Appear in the First Place?

Regret appears due to the onset of a new desire surfacing in more and more people. It’s a desire characteristic specifically to us as humans, which neither exists in animals, nor in our past animalistic phases of development.

In the past, our desires were more animalistic, i.e., they were closer to us simply surviving. A woman typically felt in control by running her home. She had a husband who would go out to work and make money for the family. She knew that she would manage her home and raise her children. Moreover, society at large supported this traditional family structure.

Today, the traditional family structure has largely declined. Our desire has outgrown our ability to be fulfilled by its traditional means. The desire for meaning and purpose in life is far greater in scope than our past instinctive desires (food, sex, family, shelter) and social desires (money, honor, control, knowledge).

Firstly, our new desire finds its expression by us wanting something completely new and different, detached from our past frameworks and boundaries. Career and travel ambitions emerge due to society being engaged in this search, but not knowing what it wants other than to explore beyond its past limitations. However, career and travel ambitions are detours that will soon also exhaust themselves. That’s because the fulfillment of this new desire cannot be found in any of the ways we currently fulfill ourselves: after any kind of fulfillment comes another lack.

Instead, this new desire is leading us to the discovery of something entirely different: a higher reality, balance and harmony with the creative force that sustains and develops life. In other words, today’s new desire is demanding contact with the meaning of life, which is in essence, above and beyond everything in our world… including our children.

How to Replace Regret With a New Fulfillment

Escaping from traditional family structures has not made us any happier. On the contrary, the decline of traditional family structures has been shown to have negative psychological, physiological, relational and economic effects on children, parents and society.

Traditional family structures are embodiments of the animate level. Like how animals naturally live within certain boundaries, humans too shouldn’t seek to break away from their traditional frameworks as a means of becoming happier and more successful.

Instead, we as humans need to rise to the level unique to the human. That is achieved through a change in our social relations: more human connection, growth in our attitudes to each other, so that we would become more supportive, loving and considerate. By doing so, we would discover a whole new fulfillment.

The woman/mother who simultaneously undergoes two processes—the process as a mother who cares for her family, and the process where she elevates herself above the animate level to attain the meaning of life—would see her actions in childbirth and motherhood as part of her ability to achieve her full potential: becoming like the Creator.

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From My Facebook Page Michael Laitman 11/13/22

Today, at 5:30 p.m. Israel time, thousands of women from around the world will gather for a unity event. Women of all faiths, traditions, cultures, ages, and ethnicities will strive to bring their hearts closer together above all the differences that naturally set us apart.
This event is so special that I wish I could dissolve unnoticed among them and simply absorb their desire to unite. When women unite, it is far more powerful than when men do it; it can really change the world.

When the children of Israel came out of Egypt, the prophetess Miriam gathered all the women and with singing and dancing she united them, paving the way to freedom for all the people of Israel. Now it is time for the whole world to unite, and this evening, women from the world over will sing, dance, and read excerpts that talk about unity. I have no doubt that they are forming the basis for the exodus of all of humanity: liberation from the fetters of egoism to the freedom to love one another.

As a man and as a teacher of thousands of male students (in addition to the female students who are gathering this evening), I can say that we are all rooting for you and praying for your success. Just as women create life, and just as they know how to look after their homes, they can revive humanity and look after the entire world.

I have no doubt that if women were adamant and assertive, we men would yield to their will. If women want to correct the world, if they unite in order to achieve it, we men will rally behind them, and together we will form a spearhead that will lead the world out of the darkness of hatred and war, and into the light of unity and love.

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Michael Laitman, On The Times of Israel: “Iranians Are Waking Up”

Despite obvious risks to their safety and decades of oppression by Islamic orthodoxy, young Iranians are saying “We have had enough!” The protests began following the death of 22-year-old Mahsa Amini while in police custody. She was allegedly beaten unconscious by the Guidance Patrol, the Islamic “morality police” of Iran, and was accused ‎of a fashion violation related to an “improper hijab.” Following the beating, she went into a state of coma and after several days, she passed away. Since the protests began, on September 14, they have spread across the country and are now directed at the religious establishment itself.

Despite fear of returning to the scenes of the 2019 riots, when 1,500 people were reportedly killed, and despite seventeen deaths that have already been reported in clashes with Iran’s police and Revolutionary Guards, Iranians are undeterred. They have woken up, and they are no longer willing to be silenced.

I have always said that Iran is a very special country. It is an ancient nation with a glorious history, whose people are wise and highly developed. Yet, over the past several decades, they have been severely oppressed by an orthodox Islamic regime that does not let them thrive. The tension between the qualities of the Iranian people and the regime that oppresses them is growing too intense to contain, hence the 2019 outbreak, and hence the current one. I hope, however, that the coming changes will be positive ones, and not otherwise.

Changes are happening not only in Iran, but around the world, and Iran cannot isolate itself from the rapid developments. What is more, now that Iranians are taking to the streets, the events are bound to inspire citizens of other Muslim countries to do the same. Iran’s leadership role in the Islamic world works both ways: When it grows more extreme, countries that follow it become more extreme, as well. When it becomes more open, so do its proxies.

For this reason, it is hard to see Iran’s government willingly accepting the protesters’ demands for openness. Nevertheless, when winds of change blow, they blow around the world. No country will escape them.

Personally, I welcome these changes in Iran. I believe they are for the best, and I know that Israel would like nothing better than to restore the warm relations it once had with the Iranian people and the Iranian government.
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My new article on Linkedin “Women Can Change the World”

Dear Women,

The celebration of the International Women’s Day is not enough to express the gratitude deserved to the women of the world for your tremendous contribution all year round, and it is an opportunity to shed light on your unique power.

The world is in the midst of a violent war which in itself is revealing the state of the whole world; it is in a bad state, a very bad state. Great forces of separation are destroying every sphere of human relationships. It is becoming clearer to us that if instead the world had developed according to the will of women, it would look completely different.

It is not for nothing that it is written, “Thanks to the righteous women, we came out of Egypt.” The term “Egypt” is the selfishness the world finds itself in and that causes all conflicts and wars. Therefore, I sincerely hope that you will help all the people of the world overcome their selfish nature so that we can all hasten the correction of the world.

Dear women, without you we cannot accomplish anything. You have the tremendous ability to awaken the forces of peace in our world, to be the catalyst for reconciliation between all the opposing camps, and to give everyone a warm embrace. If you let your heart rule the world, you will give life to everyone in the world. You are the source of life!

The Upper Force hears your prayers more and listens especially to the heart of women. Therefore, we all hope that you will pray for the convergence of hearts until we are connected as one human being with one heart and rise to a spiritual height from which a change for the better will occur for all humankind.

Together you can change the world for the better!

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From My Facebook Page Michael Laitman 3/8/22

Today, March 8, is International Women’s Day 2022. I would like to take this opportunity to extend my best wishes to all the women in the world, and to express my hope that the feminine power in the world will overcome the forces of separation. Today, in these tumultuous times of aggression and violence, we desperately need the feminine power of peace and wholeness.

Women give life; they are the origin of all that exists, which puts them at the center of creation. Therefore, a woman’s prayer for peace is more effective in yielding positive results.

I hope and pray that the feminine power will bring us closer to the giving force in nature, and together, led by the women, we will rise to a more connected level of existence.

I urge you women to make an effort to transcend the divisions that separate us and pave the way to unity. I urge the men, too, to support the women in their efforts to achieve this goal, as we will all benefit from their efforts.

Together you can create a corrected world where we live in peace, harmony, and love for one another. If you can unite your hearts as one, the whole world will become united along with you.
With my best wishes for your success.
Happy Women’s Day!

Women holds international Women Days sign in the colors of the Ukrainian at the “Stand With Ukraine” rally in Times Square on March 5, 2022 in New York City. Ukrainians, Ukrainian-Americans and allies gathered to show support for Ukraine and protest against the Russian invasion. (Photo by Ron Adar / SOPA Images/Sipa USA)

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Question: Today, a great number of women do not feel very happy. Why?

Answer: This is because of the breakdown of the family. The fact is that the main thing for a woman is to feel her home, everyday lifestyle, children, family, husband, her kitchen, everything of her own. Without this, the rest of the world becomes very unsettled, uncomfortable, and ill-fitted for her. She looks at everything from her corner, from her territory.

Therefore, now when because of the growing egoism the family breaks down, when men and women too are unable to confide in their partner and lose each other, women suffer most of all. Although they try to hide this, to suppress loneliness with all sorts of activities or by having children and raising them alone, it is still a very sad picture.

Question: The fact that today a woman is so unhappy and cannot find herself in the family, is this a random process?

Answer: No, of course not! Over the millennia our egoism has developed and come to a state where it cannot tolerate anyone close to it.

Children cannot tolerate parents, parents cannot tolerate children, spouses cannot get along with each other. A person cannot get along with himself, he needs either drugs or sedatives to tolerate himself. This is a big problem.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Emancipation” 9/16/09

Related Material:
Existing Inside Egoism
How To Cure Egoism?
A Devil With Horns Or Our Own Egoism?

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What are some ways to end child abuse?“

The ultimate solution to end child abuse is the same solution to end all of our problems in our time: to work on our connections so that they become positive, and that we will prioritize concern for others over self-concern.

If mothers, for instance, came together and connected in order to change society, so that a mutual concern would blossom around children and babies, then this concern would bridge all distances and boundaries. Such a concern would become expressed through these mothers connecting several times a day, and the creation and consumption of programming that they would make on the Internet, the TV, and the radio on the topic, which would raise awareness of what children go through both at schools and in their homes.

If such a concern would spread throughout society, even if only among mothers, then it would change the picture regarding child abuse, as well as several other problems children experience. However, it is currently far from the case. They feel no need to connect in such a way. Each mother cares only about her own children, which is insufficient.

Ending child abuse thus involves generating a supportive environment through sharing the same concern, that all of us together will take care of this common problem, where we will care for other children in addition to our own, and others will do the same. Until we reach such a mutual concern for each other’s children in society, then we will continue seeing more and more unfortunate cases of child abuse.

We need a special force here, a unifying force that will influence society, and unless mothers come together and unite, then this force will elude us.

Based on New Life episode 1147 with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman, Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum-Moshe. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash.

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Thrive Global published my new article: “Women Can Repair the World”

If women express a desire for humanity’s unity above all of its divisions and if they unite as a major force with this desire, they will urge men in the direction of unity.

Casey Cawthon, 32, Public Relations Director for Well Done Marketing, is shown working from the home office space she has created during the COVID-19 pandemic, Friday, Oct. 23, 2020. Cawthon, a single mom and diabetic, is considered high risk and has been working from home since mid-March.Casey Cawthon, Public Relations Director for Well Done Marketing

Whether our global home stands or falls apart in complete destruction depends on women. The celebrations of the International Women’s Day this year should be a reminder of the fact that the female force is a unifying power and is the kind of leadership so needed in these critical times as the world slowly tries to get back on its feet from a long bout of COVID-19. Women have been at the epicenter of the pandemic, in the frontlines of healthcare services and particularly hit hard by job losses. But this could be used as an opportunity for a new start to shape a more balanced society.

When men receive such a strong impetus to unite from women, they will work to fulfill those demands and will strive to unite and balance with the unified form of nature that functions with altruistic connections between all of its parts. Therefore, women’s strengths should be directed to female unity so they could contribute to society’s prosperity and happiness through unifying their efforts into building a new, comfortable and welcoming home for human society.

Studies on the socio-economic impact of the pandemic show that women have been nearly twice as likely as men to lose their jobs as a result of the COVID-19 outbreak. As a palliative solution, the UN recommends a Temporary Basic Income for six months, the amount would vary depending on each country’s standard of living. We have reached a critical point where these measures should already be implemented and considered for a longer period of time.

On one hand, help should be provided to both men and women in a way that allows them to live with dignity, without excess but covering their basic needs. On the other hand, we need to make sure that every woman also has the opportunity to continue her work from home. If we thus use the time when we are bound to our homes in order to upgrade our awareness of nature’s unifying principle and to implement it in our relationships, we will then see far-reaching positive impacts of the COVID-19 crisis—a shift into a completely new and harmonious state among humanity, the likes of which we have never experienced before.

Through the pandemic, nature is trying to wake us to our need to make a further step in our evolution: to exercise positive, supportive, encouraging and considerate relations. Our selfish makeup is what led us to create a society that functions with each one trying to profit off everyone else; operating this way throws us all off balance. Essentially, we now need to reach a state where we care about others to the same extent we care about ourselves.

If we know the right place for men, women, parents, and children as components in society that complement each other, we will progress nicely in support and in mutual strengthening. According to nature’s structure, the female represents the desire to receive while the male represents the intention to give. Therefore, if women express a desire for humanity’s unity above all of its divisions and if they unite as a major force with this desire, they will urge men in the direction of unity.

Then, when men receive such a strong impetus to unite from women, they will work to fulfill those demands and will strive to unite and balance with the unified form of nature that functions with altruistic connections between all of its parts. Therefore, women’s strengths should be directed to female unity so they could contribute to society’s prosperity and happiness through unifying their efforts into building a new, comfortable and welcoming home for human society.

We will all feel as if we share a common home, like we live among a giant loving family in a completely new and upgraded kind of awareness of the laws of nature and the world we exist in. Now is the time to repair the world as only women know how to do.

I wish you success!!
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— Published on March 8, 2021

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