Remark: In Japan, they rent children, husbands, and wives, and now whole families are being rented out. A man goes to an agency and orders a family. He can choose people of a certain physique, personality, character, etc.
This is a serious psychological work. As a rule, a person needs attention.
We say that in the 21st century, the family is not the most important thing in life for a person.
My Comment: No, not that the family is not important, it is not important to be formally registered and obligated according to some kind of registration. A man still wants to be connected internally. He must feel attracted so that even a duty is pleasant to him as is usually the case with children.
As our egoism is constantly evolving, it all must go through our desires. That is, I want to be obligated, I want to take care, I want it to attract me, to somehow connect, to be involved in some way, just like when people play different games and they tie or even beat and threaten each other.
That is, you feel dependency, duty, and along with it, attachment. This is what a person lacks today because we do not know how to play with our egoism.
Question: So maybe we should stop there and let everyone always rent a family.
Answer: And how does a modern family live today?
Remark: In the case of a rental family, we know that there is a certain distance between people and that it is sort of a game.
My Comment: No, it depends on the agreement. I think there is nothing special here.
Of course, the Japanese have ancient traditions: geishas who really supported the psychological atmosphere, conversation, participation, games, music, etc. That is, this is what a person lacked. TV today cannot replace this.
This requires even more insight because our egoism develops, and it begins to see its finiteness, viciousness, and limitation. I actually want such sensations that you cannot just give to another or another give to you. Therefore, this is a very interesting arrangement.
Question: What is a family? A standard to which a person internally aspires?
Answer: Family is a clear, internal concern for each other, where you feel that your happiness lies in ensuring that you provide the happiness of another. This is family.
And it can be some other people, your little dog, or even get a crocodile at home, no matter who or what. The main thing is that you feel that you enjoy that you are fulfilling someone.
Question: Maybe it is normal that now marriages occur between same-sex people?
Answer: I do not know what to call it: marriage or not marriage. This is all very arbitrary. Most importantly, a person feels enjoyment in taking care of someone.
Giving to another turns into one’s own fulfillment. And that is why there are so many pets and various clubs where people somehow interact and do something.
It is true that this goes beyond simple sex since it does not fulfill a person. Even if it lasts for quite some time, many times a day, he begins to feel that, in general, this does not fulfill him.
Question: Is there a difference: a family for a woman and a family for a man? Why is family important for a man?
Answer: For a woman, physical attachment, belonging to someone is more important. For a man, spiritual affiliation is more important—more like spiritual concern for another.
A woman sees her realization in physically caring for a man. A man sees his realization in spiritual care for a woman.
It is hard for me to explain this because this, in principle, does not sound like it really is.
Question: How can spiritual care be implemented in a rental family?
Answer: And what does it mean to rent or not to rent? When we get married, don’t we rent ourselves out? Do we not sell ourselves for a certain price?
I give, you take; you give, I take. And all this is built on explicit laws that can be clearly arranged. Yes, there is a huge range of human feelings inside! But, in principle, everything is very simple.
Question: You once said that if a woman loses her family or a husband for various reasons, she still can live to a very old age, support herself, and it is much more difficult for a man to do this. Why?
Answer: A woman is organized in such a way that within the framework of this world she settles in well, oddly enough. It would seem: how is it possible without a man?! But actually, it is the opposite. A man without a woman is as if homeless.
A woman, according to Kabbalah, is called “home.” Not a man but a woman, because it is in her nature to create a house, a family, a place, walls, roof. And a man, if he has no one to do it for, he will not do it for himself.
Remark: It is like a tree without roots. The man is a tree and the woman is the roots.
In many couples, when someone is invited to be a temporary partner, a person starts having feelings for this partner.
My Comment: Naturally. Even more! It is precisely because they are not mutually connected, not obliged. Today, a partner with whom I have lived for many months and maybe coexisted together even longer can say: “Do you know that we have ended our contract today?” That sounds awful! And it seems that this is the end of life, the end of the world! How could it be?! I forgot that we had a contract. I forgot that I am playing! I forgot that they are playing with me! And that’s it.
And tomorrow morning, she will pick up her suitcase and calmly leave because in a couple of hours she has another contract, another family. And I am left alone and did not even think about my future. How can I disconnect from what I have now? It is very interesting.
Question: Maybe it is worth creating a contractual relationship so that then people can build a family? So that the contract does not end?
Answer: I think that as soon as they change the contract for marriages, this will be the end of it.
Therefore, the best thing in this state is to say: “The contract has ended. If you want us to stay together, we will have to live like real husband and wife with all the responsibilities. So, you have time to think about it until tomorrow.”
Remark: But it often turns into a drama because one person gets used to this relationship and for the other it remains a job. People actually get used to sympathy, to affection.
My Comment: For sure they get used to it. We see this even in actors who play certain roles. They cannot help but get used to them and continue to play in life just like on stage.
Remark: This is how such dramas turn out when you enter this relationship.
My Comment: But this is professionalism, there is nothing you can do about it.
Question: What kind of a family will we have in future? Rental families?
Answer: In principle, I think that humanity will go as far as to use, roughly speaking, each other’s services to achieve a higher level than the family unit or friendship, and will use this to achieve a higher level of mutual interactions.
That is, it will be the interaction of people who want to reach the next, spiritual level. They will connect with each other in order to help one another psychologically and spiritually so that each of them, through the other, can also attain a connection with a higher cause.
Question: Is it possible to turn this wonderful future into today, to try to implement it in the environment now?
Answer: I do not think that there is a need for such connections today. Maybe with the younger generations. It is not brewing because they are not yet engaged in real spiritual practices. So, I do not see it.
But it is slowly approaching. Maybe we will still see such families that emerge in order to complement each other and to reveal the Creator among themselves.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 1/28/20
Family And Marriage, Part 8
Will The Family Institution Survive?
The Family Revolution