Are Our Children Less Humane?

Question: Last week, several articles and TV shows about teenagers were released that caused a storm of reactions. One show described teenagers throwing orgies in villas with special rooms for sex.

Another article said that teenagers are into pornography starting at age nine. And then there was an article by a renowned anthropologist who claimed that our children are less human than us, but we do not notice. Is there really something special about the modern generation?

Answer: The same thing was written two thousand years ago: that youth is no longer the same, and that children used to obey their parents but today they do not.

Question: It is a well-known fact that old people always scold the youth. But we live in an era of technological revolution, and we are developing at an unprecedented rate. Really, does the last generation differ from all others?

Answer: I believe there is no such thing as a “bad generation” or a “good generation.” Everything depends on upbringing. If today we suddenly discover that something is wrong with our children, then we must ask ourselves: “Where were we before? How did we allow them to reach this state?”

Why did we not pay attention while the children were growing up? Because we ourselves were busy with all sorts of trivial pursuits and desires, and we were trying to make our own lives as pleasant as possible. We handed the children over to the school, and we let the school raise them.

But the school never thought about upbringing either. The school curriculum is designed to stuff a child with knowledge. A school is not a place where character is shaped; it simply provides certain information about the world in order to prepare students for university.

There was no true education, only the transfer of information. So we should not be surprised that the children turned out this way. And even now, when we see the results, we do not want to change anything. We are hardly parents at all. Even animals raise their young better than we do.

Comment: One article says that parents communicate with their children by text message. The parent is never at home, and only sends the child messages like: “Did you eat? Did you do your homework?” But in reality, the parent does not see the child, does not talk to them, and does not take part in raising them.

My Response: That is true. The problem is that in the past people lived in private houses with yards, and children played near the home. They were not exposed to the entire world. They played with cats and dogs, kicked a ball around, and rode their bicycles. Boys played soccer, girls played with dolls. Everything happened out in the open, and parents could see what their children were doing. It was a kind of pastoral scene.

Today all of that is gone. Children do not go outside; each one is glued to a computer screen.

Question: A child spends more than nine hours a day looking at a computer or phone screen. That is a fact. What solution can there be?

Answer: This is the result of our negligence and our disregard for proper upbringing. Nothing appears by itself; every phenomenon has a cause. And the cause here is very clear: human behavior. It is the human being who spoils nature and the environment, and it is the human being who creates a damaged human society.

No one else is to blame. We are the only creatures in nature who have been given the freedom to shape the world however we choose. And if we decide that we do not care about our children, or about the kind of people they will grow up to be, then the result is inevitable.

Human nature is selfish and harmful from birth, and if a person is not guided and educated, it is obvious where they will end up. The same would have happened to our generation if we had grown up under the conditions that children face today.
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From KabTV’s on radio station 103FM, 1/8/16

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Question: In psychology, a person’s character is conventionally divided into spheres, one of which is motivational. Let us say I set a goal that seems right and good to me, like learning to drive a car. But I don’t have any motivation, no inner pleasure from it. However, in the process of exerting efforts, this goal flips and becomes an inner motivation. I start feeling pleasure, and it becomes a part of me.

Is the system of integral education based on this, too? At some point, everything turns around, and the goal becomes one’s inner world?

Answer: The fact is that you are giving an example of goals that initially do not seem important or necessary to a person.

We begin by explaining that the goal is obligatory. It may be undesirable, but it is necessary. Nothing can be done about it; it must be implemented in the same way that I get up every day for work, raise children, etc. My whole life consists of things I have to do because I owe someone something all the time.

And here we have the same thing; I have an obligatory goal imposed on me by nature. For the first time in our development, we reach a point where we can see a goal in advance. This has never happened before.

We had revolutions, wars, all kinds of upheavals—technological, scientific, social, undergoing various formations—whatever we have done throughout history, but we have never known what goal nature sets for us. We shouted at the barricades: “Move forward!” “Freedom, equality, brotherhood!” But in general, we did not imagine what would follow. No one could have predicted that it would be one way and not another.

Humanity cannot know anything in advance; it is simply driven forward by the compelling forces of nature, “motivation” (translated from Greek, “motive, stimuli” is a sharp stick used to drive animals).

That is how we developed, without having a specific image of the future before us. The bright future we imagined was once a slave-owning system, a feudal system, a capitalist system, and a socialist system. And all these images of the future turned out to be illusory.

Now, for the first time, we clearly see the picture that nature shows us—in all our crises. We can study, understand, classify, and differentiate these crises. We see how crises manifest themselves in education and upbringing, in the family, in illnesses and depressions, in finance and economics, in science and culture—everywhere. We can clearly outline them.

But we do not want to do this, it is unpleasant for humanity. We turn a blind eye because we do not see a way out. But every day the future nature imposes on us looms clearer and clearer—a global, integral combination of all mankind as one single whole. In this, we achieve similarity to nature’ the general law of nature leads us to it, the law of similarity to nature. You can call it entropy, energy, no matter what.

Therefore, in integral education, from the very first day we begin to gradually clarify this, show it to a person, based on all sorts of scientific findings. We do not need to invite scientists to meetings since we have recordings of their presentations, videos, etc., all of which have already been prepared and are in effect.

People are built in such a way that no one needs or wants to move forward; it is undesirable. We are lazy (this is our nature) and do not want anything except to do only what pleases us. One likes to create and build, the other likes to bask in the sun. But uniting together into a single whole?

This is unpleasant even for the 10% of altruists who are born that way by nature, because here we are talking about a completely different combination of people with each other, together with our egoism, in  interaction with it.

Therefore, we are doing something completely undesirable, but we start doing it based on necessity. We discuss what will happen if we don’t do this, what consequences our clashing with nature will lead to, what cataclysms it will cause in the environment. In the inanimate nature it will cause earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, general climate change, solar flares, etc. In the vegetative world, we see what is happening to the surface of the earth. In the animal kingdom, entire species become extinct. And in man…

We are now in a state where nature threatens us with absolute starvation. Plants, animals, fish, birds—all of this is catastrophically disappearing. Through our imbalance with nature, we ourselves make our Earth, its surface, unsuitable for the existence of all other species, because we are like that, and because only we can bring it all into harmony. It all depends on us.

Gradually, such a revelation of the integral picture leads man to realize the need to change himself and society; afterward, you can already work with such a person.
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From KabTV’s “Integral Education. Conversation No. 13,” 12/18/11

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Question: Why is it easier to endure personal misfortunes when you have friends?

Answer: When I am connected with friends, my personal problem is shared among us. If there is truly a strong bond between us and they support me by sharing my sorrow, then it is distributed among all of us.

This is precisely the meaning of visiting the sick. We tend to think that people visit the sick just to check on them, to talk with them, to bring them apples and oranges, but there is a much deeper meaning. Such a visit can actually ease the illness because we share the suffering of the friend and give him our strength.

We are all connected in one system regardless of the fact that each of us exists in a separate body. If we are connected, then all our systems connect: intellectual, emotional, and many others that we do not yet know about.

As a result, we create a shared system of connections between people, and in truth it is much greater than we imagine. Illness is a kind of malfunction in my personal system that makes me feel ill. But when my friends who are connected with me come to visit with the intention of deepening the connection, they enter my damaged system and take part in it.

If two friends come to visit me, then my malfunction is divided among the three of us. It does not yet divide evenly, but it should if we are strongly, properly, and correctly connected. We will clearly feel how we take on the other’s pain, and give the sick person our own joy and happiness in return.

Question: So if someone tells me about their problem, does it make it easier?

Answer: If there is no connection between you, this has practically no effect. Yet we know that hearing good or bad news can influence a person strongly, either lift their mood or depress them.

But if this is my friend, then we are connected as if we exist within one body. Therefore when he comes to visit me during an illness, the defect in my system is transmitted to him, and it becomes easier for me.

It is precisely because we are separated by bodies, but able to connect on a sensory level, that a friend can help heal my illness, as if taking part of it into himself. He takes a portion of the imbalance from my system and equalizes it within his own.

He eases my suffering simply by performing a good and correct action, and takes this unbalanced part onto himself with love. And besides that, his healthy system can absorb this fragment of another’s illness precisely because it is not inherently his. He takes part of the illness, isolates it within himself, and heals it within his own subsystem.

Question: Does this happen unconsciously?

Answer: Usually it happens unconsciously, but there are people on a higher level who can see how it occurs.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 242 – Happiness And Social Ties,” 10/17/13

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Question: Statistical studies show that a person with more friends has a greater chance of feeling happy. Why is that?

Answer: It would seem that friends should bring me even more trouble than happiness. After all, they pass their moods on to me, and I worry about everything that happens to them—good and bad. So I should actually be more upset because of them, since usually a person has more problems in life than joys.

But the point is that people tend to hide their problems and talk about their successes. Therefore, it seems to me that those around me live normally and prosperously. And even if others are not very happy, a shared misfortune is not as frightening. I see that others have the same problems as I do, and I no longer measure my condition against some ideal of happiness.

I understand that I am no worse off than others and that this is simply life. I accept this as a given and lower my standards to the general level accepted in society.

In addition, I see that commercial and industrial systems are built to make life easier for everyone. This is why we unite and create cities and factories. Together, it is easier to survive in this world, and we have more opportunities to enjoy life than each person on their own. Someone living as a hermit in a forest faces a very difficult existence, if they survive at all.

Clearly, connection among all of us benefits us. When problems arise, they become shared and are divided among everyone. By living in society, we learn from each other and take example from others. Therefore, the more I am included in society, the more support and sense of stability I can receive from it.

Everything bad and good that happens in life ultimately evens out. Even though in the end society may bring me more problems than good, these will be the same problems that everyone has, and so I will agree with them.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 242 – Happiness And Social Ties,” 10/17/13

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Question: All parents want to bring up their children so they would grow up to be good, successful, educated people. But you say that the old method of upbringing does not work and we need new tools. What is this new upbringing?

Answer: First of all, we need, not the “new” upbringing, but simply “upbringing,” because the old upbringing does not exist. Currently we do not have any upbringing; we do not form a person. Therefore we cannot call the education that currently exists in Israel and in the entire world as a system of upbringing.

We deceive ourselves by thinking that we send our children to school to give them upbringing. The school does not bring them up. In school, children gain harmful examples, and the school cares only about grades, while it is not teachers’ concern how a child will behave.

Everyone will agree that at home children usually do not receive bad examples with the rare exception of the most dysfunctional families. Where do teenagers get bad habits? It is either from the Internet or from school, meaning from an outside influence. Therefore we need to take care of external influences so they would be positive rather than negative.

School is not engaged whatsoever in children’s upbringing. We need new tools of upbringing in order to transform school into a place where a person receives upbringing and not simply a place that gives him knowledge. Then we will see how our children will change for the better and be able to connect with one another and build a better, more humane world.

They will be able to build a family and have access to any information on the Internet. We must give them more knowledge about human being, about the human body, about genders, but in a correct and open form.

At the same time as the child receives information from outside, it is necessary to add explanations so they understand why they get such desires and thoughts.

We should not shame them, but talk with them in an easy way without embarrassment, correctly and openly so the child doesn’t withdraw within himself not knowing how to control his nature. The mutual work of parents, psychologists, and specialists is required here.

Question: The department of education has all the resources: psychologists, teachers, parents’ support, and a huge budget. Why are there no good results?

Answer: Today I do not see such specialists in school who would be able to form good people from today’s generation. Where can we see the results of school’s education?

Comment: My daughter is in the 11^th grade and every day they keep her in school until 4 pm and occasionally until 6 pm. It costs the government a lot of money.

My Response: But there is no need for all of this. I need my daughter in the 11^th grade to spend half of the time she spends in school on studying how to form a person within herself, how to build her environment, her family, and how to become a person who feels good in a good world.

A school doesn’t deal with this at all. It only teaches math, physics, biology, meaning, it prepares a child for college, in other words, how to earn money. Therefore we receive such results.
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From the program on radio station 103FM, 1/8/16

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There is a special phenomenon in the influence of society on a person. If I face a problem together with a large society, it is divided among everyone and I do not feel that I am alone with it. If I were to fall ill with a rare and severe disease, I would be terribly anxious. But if it is an epidemic and everyone around is sick, then it is not as frightening.

The trouble is instantly shared with the entire society where I am simply one among all. Therefore, my fear is no longer the full fear of the problem itself, but it is divided among everyone else, reduced to one millionth. This happens regardless of my desire, because I am connected with others in one system. So, my relative part in the common trouble is only one millionth.

This does not mean that the trouble will not happen to me, it will happen. But the feeling of fear and threat is divided among everyone in the perception of people. To the extent that I am connected with others, I worry less about hardships.

But if joy comes, it does not decrease when shared by all. Because joy is felt together with everyone. Misfortune is felt within oneself, but joy is felt outside, between us. The benevolent force that created the entire world acts on everyone and is not divided. If joy comes, everyone rejoices in full measure.

Moreover, shared joy increases the joy of each one. For example, news comes of victory in a war. That joy is not divided by a million, leaving me with one millionth of happiness. On the contrary, it is multiplied by a million, and I feel joy a million times greater! I go out into the street, see everyone celebrating, and I am filled with happiness, completely differently than if I were alone at home.

The force of unity has a unique, wondrous quality. It divides misfortune among all, while multiplying joy and happiness among all. This follows from the very source of creation, from the fact that we emerged from the point of the Big Bang, from one single force.

Therefore, today we reveal that all of nature is one system. The closer we come to this force, the more we resemble the unified system of nature, the more we gain, and we gain greatly, instead of one millionth, we get one multiplied by a million!

If, through integral education, we learned to use this correctly, we would attain the pinnacle of happiness.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 242 – Happiness And Social Ties,” 10/17/13

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Question: Is it possible to alleviate a friend’s illness by taking part of it upon oneself? And how can I transfer a feeling of happiness to a friend?

Answer: If my system is higher than yours, it is more filled with happiness because it exists on a higher level of life and balance. Therefore, when you are in despair, it can pass some of its energy to you, a measure of happiness, to the extent that an inner connection exists between us.

From that higher system, you appear like a small child; it is greater than you because happiness is higher than dissatisfaction in its level of awareness and value. It doesn’t even matter what makes a person happy; it may be something very simple.

Question: How do we actually transmit happiness to one another: through words, feelings, thoughts?

Answer: We can transmit happiness even without any of these; it all depends on the level of our connection: inanimate, vegetative, animate, or human. Happiness flows from a higher system into a lower one depending on the quality of our connection and on how much, at that moment, I am able to annul myself before my friend.

All people are connected with everyone. We don’t need to build this connection or cut it off. We are already tied into one network, like neurons in the brain or like cells in a single body.

The whole universe is one system. The only question is how much we humans recognize this and wish to reveal, enliven, and strengthen this connection between us and all parts of creation. But the connection already exists. The degree to which we become aware of this connection determines the measure of our friendship.

Question: On whom does it depend whether my friend’s happiness will flow into me—on him or on me?

Answer: It requires mutuality; it cannot be done one-sidedly. You must at least slightly open yourself to such a transfer with respect to the friend. Suppose your grief is so great that you completely close off inside yourself and separate from others, then you cannot absorb anything from them.

Question: What does it mean to open myself to the influence of a friend?

Answer: It means to love him as yourself. This is about a true heart-to-heart connection where we do not feel ourselves as separate bodies or foreign systems, but feel so close as if we were one whole.

Our two systems become so intertwined that they function as one. Our connection is limitless; an infinite flow of information, feelings, and thoughts pass between us. These are two systems, but they are linked in the closest possible way.

Question: How should I open myself to a friend for his positive influence?

Answer: In the same way an infant behaves in its mother’s arms, completely annulling itself before her. The infant knows nothing about itself and understands nothing; it is tuned only to absorb everything from its mother. This is why babies develop so quickly; we transmit everything we have to them.

We not only pass on tender words and smiles, but energy, our attitude. A baby absorbs this energy through thousands of sensors it possesses.

We must become like infants, completely annulling ourselves, with all our problems, in relation to the influence of our friends. Then they will be able to transfer their happiness to us as much as they wish. Unlike misfortune, happiness does not decrease when shared; it only grows. The more we make others happy, the happier we become.

The energy of happiness has no limits. To the extent that we can give and fill others, we will feel an even greater desire and capacity to do so in ourselves. After all, in this way we connect to the source of the Big Bang’s energy, to the upper force that created and sustains the entire universe.

Question: Then according to this, people who work in service of others should be very happy. Why don’t we see this?

Answer: Because they give against their will, and therefore they constantly feel drained. A mother, however, who loves her baby, may become physically tired, but she never tires of caring for him or loving him.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 242 – Happiness And Social Ties,” 10/17/13

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Question: Professor James Tilley, a political scientist, identified five lessons that human politics can learn from the power struggles and social dynamics of chimpanzee groups. 

Keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer.

Answer: Friends are friends. But you have to watch out for your enemies. And you can’t keep watch over them if you push them away. It’s best to keep them “in a cage” right next to you.

When building your alliances, pick someone weak, not someone strong. 

My Response: So that you can command them.

Question: And for humans, should it be exactly the same?

Answer: That is how alliances are made. We would like to create them that way too, but it doesn’t always work out.

It’s good to be feared, but it’s better to be liked.

My Response: Of course, it is more peaceful when you are loved. There is nothing better than that, it is the clearest protection. But at the very least, let them fear you.

It is good to be liked, but it is even better to be able to hand out goodies.

My Response: Of course, because then others become dependent on you.

External threats can shore up support (if they are real…).

My Response: An external threat can bring support because it forces you to realize all your internal capabilities, and then you seek partners.

An external threat mobilizes and helps; you can’t move forward without it.

Question: These are five chimpanzee principles. Could you name a few human principles?

Answer: A human has no principles; he is unprincipled. All his “principles” last only for a moment.

Question: Why do chimps have principles but humans don’t?

Answer: Chimpanzees act according to nature. Even their reason, whatever they have, comes from nature; it is the accumulation of various results.

But humans don’t have that because everything in them is constantly developing. Egoism develops, and that is why a person cannot solve today what he decided yesterday using the same method. Because the circumstances are completely different, the ego is different, the view of the world is different, the environment is different.

Question: Then what is “humanity”? People always say: “Be human, be kind,” and so on.

Answer: I believe it is a stance dictated by weakness. It can’t be otherwise, if our nature is egoism. What kind of “humanity” can there be? Only if I want to appear good, or want others to treat me well.

Question: So they are all just masks?

Answer: Only masks. If a chimp’s egoism is natural and everyone understands each other because of it, then a human wraps himself in so many forms that it is very hard to understand him. And on top of that, he uses kindness, reason, and everything else to rule over others, to control, to elevate himself above everyone. So in that sense, he is much worse than any monkey.

Question: What should one do, then? How can one come to light, to goodness?

Answer: There is a method of correction, but for that, a person must understand that he needs to be corrected.

Question: He has to feel that he is like this?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: And if a person comes to realize that he is completely egoistic, that this is his nature…

My Response: Then he must come to Kabbalah. He must study his nature and go forward from there. There is no other way; everything leads to this, and the sooner, the better.

For me, to become “human” means to become like the Creator. It is when a person begins to realize that connection with others is his personal, essential need, one that overrides all others.

Only by developing this completely anti-egoistic, meaning anti-natural, quality within himself can he not only survive, but rise to the stars. Only in this way. It is extremely difficult, impossible, unless you come to the right method.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/13/24

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We must invest in education. Only education! Otherwise, nothing will change in the world.

Question: Are you saying the most respected job for a person is an educator?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What does one rear in others?

Answer: He must explain to people in every possible way what the thought of creation is. That only in fulfilling the thought of creation can a person achieve happiness.

Question: What do you mean by “thought of creation?” Should one attain this thought of creation?

Answer: He must attain it.

Question: The educator himself?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And then pass it on to others?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What is the thought of creation and what should he convey to people?

Answer: When a person does good to others, he becomes fulfilled and rejoices.

Question: What do you mean by doing good?

Answer: Doing good means filling the other with what he or she desires.

Comment: But one has many different desires.

My Response: No! It depends on the upbringing. One should be educated to be satisfied with a normal minimal fulfillment.

Question: We need to clarify this. To educate a person so he has reasonable requests, not needing something big, billions, and so on? And then what? So, I live like this, on what is necessary.

Answer: And to feel that if others come to this, it would be the ultimate happiness.

Question: For people to be happy with necessities, not asking for more or beyond? Is that what you call proper education?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Do you want to elaborate, say something elevated?

Answer: When I cut bread, I slice it. This is the first slice.

Comment: Then we will stop at the first slice.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 11/19/25

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Question: What is the purpose of the whole huge system of upbringing and education?

Answer: It is spinning around us on its own, and that is all. We cannot do anything about it. You cannot instill anything into a child, just the surrounding, friends, and educators to some extent as well, can. All of this creates the child’s inner world who then enters life. And going forward he already begins to take from life.

Question: What is upbringing in your opinion? You have pushed the education part back a bit.

Answer: First of all, education and upbringing are not the same thing. Education is a filling of a child with all sorts of knowledge. Whereas, upbringing is an example from an adult to a child about how to behave in various situations.

Question: Is an adult an educator, a parent, the environment, and so forth?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Then it turns out that the correct upbringing is to submerge a child in an environment that gives the correct examples. What examples should we show to a child so this child would grow correctly and would be receiving the correct upbringing?

Answer: It is impossible to say. The child himself selects these examples and assimilates them.

Question: I show an example to him, but perhaps he takes from it something of his own from it, something only he understands?

Answer: Yes.

Question: How can I penetrate this world of a child?

Answer: There is no need to! There is no way to! Let him develop independently.

Comment: But I have to somehow direct him.

My Response: I think it is not so necessary. Let him run around the yard and interact with his peers, and he will develop this way.

Question: Is the child supposed to have an ideal surrounding so he would grow up within it?

Answer: Children and animals.

Question: So there are children and animals around, but where is the place for an adult?

Answer: There is no place for an adult there. Adults will impose all sorts of behavioral rules on children. There is no need for this. Gradually a child will grow and he will discover these rules for himself.

Question: Shouldn’t an adult intervene in children’s conflicts?

Answer: No, I think there is no place for educators here.

Question: Then what will grow from the child if you say he is surrounded by children, animals, and nature?

Answer: According to his inner world he absorbs everything that is possible to receive from the world.

Comment: There is drawing, dancing, and nature studies. It happens that the adult comes and says “Let me teach the child these things.”

My Response: There is no need to! He will learn by himself. All these disciplines imposed on him just limit him.

Question: I am talking about simple disciplines like dancing and  drawing. Will he master even this?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Can we draw any conclusions?

Answer: The conclusion is very simple: Leave the children alone, leave them free of your great thoughts and instructions, pedagogy, and everything, everything that is in you.

Question: Then what about parents? Parents and adults still exist. How should parents properly bring up their children?

Answer: After many hundreds of generations, I do not see in any generation that some generation has taken something useful and good from their parents, and achieved something useful and good. Every time we just relearn.

Question: So you learn from your own mistakes, you learn from your life, you learn everything by yourself. And you say that we should leave a person with this “yourself,” leave him to go his own way?

Answer: Yes, I hope that we will come to such a state when we understand how we should treat children in general. I hope this will be understood and realized in the near future.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 11/9/25

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