Entries in the 'Children' Category

What Will Make People Kinder?

546.01Question: Some social networks help people become kinder. In this tense time, when the pandemic is raging, politicians fight for votes, and protesters demand racial justice, human communication is becoming more important.

Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University have developed an automated method to make communication more polite. Scientists are sure that politeness and kind communication will do good for us. Now they have developed an automated method to make communication kind.

Can such algorithms really teach a person a different way of communication and a different line of thought?

Answer: In principle, they can, to a very small extent. It depends on how seriously we will relate to such a communication model, how much we would be able to follow all these rules: sorry, please, thank you—and all the time instill positive emotions in each other, and so on.

This can soften society in some way. But to a very insignificant extent because by this we deviate from the purpose of creation.

The purpose of creation is to bring a person to the awareness of his nature as evil. Therefore, we need to understand that no matter how good, white, and fluffy we are externally, outside of ourselves, inside we will still remain nasty, black, dark, and evil. So, it will not change us from the inside, but it will help us quickly understand who we really are inside. Just like when you turn on the light in a room, you can better see how dirty it is.

Question: Is it that all kind messages, all kindness, and politeness only help to reveal the negativity that lurks inside?

Answer: Of course.

Question: What happens to a person further?

Answer: We begin to feel who we are within ourselves.

Question: Is it necessary to have both internal negativity and external kindness, external politeness, a positive attitude toward each other? Or should there be only kindness, grace, positivity, and harmonious communication?

Answer: We must constantly struggle with our greedy egoistic nature, and not just manifest all this on the outside in a beautiful form in relation to each other, like all the methods—both those you are talking about and others.

We must understand that everything lies not in beautiful outer packaging, wrappings, bonbonnieres, but in changing ourselves, our nature. Only then can we really achieve a state when humanity will become different. It will become different from within itself—giving, loving, and sympathetic.

Question: What help does this evil in man bring? Why is it given to us at all?

Answer: This evil is necessary in order to reveal our nature to us. This is our nature, this is us, not something artificial, external, extraneous. This is how our nature is revealed.

It is not easy to reveal to a person how evil he is. Talk to people and you will see how they react when you tell them who they are. They will hate you; they will beat you. They will not agree with you. How can you accuse them of what is allegedly wrong?!

A person does not like it when it is pointed out to him. We need to reveal it—to reveal it each to himself and to others, and to help everyone together come to the conclusion that we are terrible beasts and have no other choice but to correct ourselves as soon as possible; otherwise, we will eat each other alive.

Remark: You had an interesting tweet that said it is hatred that gives knowledge of how to fill the desire of another person. Therefore, the basis of life is self-love and egoism and the rest is its spice.

My Comment: Yes. So, it is written: “I created the evil inclination, and I made the Torah as its spice.”

Question: Why does hatred help fulfill the desire of another person?

Answer: Because it turns into hatred of its nature, and thus inversely in the opposite direction, toward love for another person. It turns out that by turning my hatred inside out, I can hate it in myself and love another person.

Question: Can we say that this hatred, this evil that is in a person, should be treated as a sparring partner that helps us become better?

Answer: Yes. This is called help against Him.

Question: What would you say to all people who really expect kind attitudes, warmth, and harmony in communication from others?

Answer: Do not wait. Do not expect anything good from anyone. Just understand that everything depends on each of you. Change yourself—and the world will change.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/1/20

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Live By The Laws Of Nature

959Comment: On one hand, you say that you need to live by the laws of nature, and on the other, you welcome that everyone has finally stopped producing unnecessary things and they can stay at home with their family.

My Response: This is a temporary phenomenon. I don’t think people can spend all their time at home. In principle, this is not necessary because it is an unjustified waste of time and life. It is necessary to do what is useful for society, for nature, for maintaining homeostasis.

Question: How do you think household responsibilities should be distributed among family members?

Answer: In a natural way. A man should help a woman, and a woman should maintain the home.
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From KabTV’s “The Post-Coronavirus Era” 5/21/20

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Why Is There No Instinctive Love Between Us?

294.4Question: Can we assume that the instinctive love for children that nature instills in us can be used as an example of our relationship to other people?

Answer: It would, of course, be wonderful. This is what the science of Kabbalah calls for: a person should treat everyone as his family because the whole world is one family. But we are still far from that.

Question: Do you think that the family unit was created by nature in order for a person to receive at least some example of the instinctive love that is inherent in us and then he or she could go through life with this example?

Answer: In principle, in the beginning, the family was a unit in which several generations lived together in close connection with each other. This was how nature intended if man, with his or her egoism, which is constantly developing in him or her, did not break this connection and did not build something from the original good family unit that turned into mutual enmity and hatred.

We see that such examples are already embedded in us. Cain and Abel, although brothers, had enmity toward each other. In this example humanity shows how deep and kind family ties can produce a completely opposite result.

Question: Why is there no instinctive love between spouses? Then the family would be stronger and the upbringing would be better.

Answer: Because people feel a huge gap between themselves. They have a desire for each other based only on the sexual instinct. Therefore, one should not associate the reproductive instinct with the instinct of attraction. These are completely different levels of relationships.

Question: But why didn’t nature create such an instinctive love between partners as the love of parents for a child?

Answer: In order for us to create it ourselves. We must constantly learn this.

And our instinctive love for children is very weak. We also need to develop it and talk about it all the time. There should be normal examples around us. Unfortunately, this is not in man. Everything is suppressed by our personal egoism.
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From KabTV’s “The Post-Coronavirus Era” 5/21/20

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Should We Open The Kindergartens And The Schools?

592.04Question: Currently there are preparations to reopen the schools and the kindergartens. Parents are afraid that their children will get infected and bring it home. Teachers are afraid that children will infect teachers and they will bring it home. Do you think that perhaps it is really possible not to open the schools, not to open the kindergartens?

Answer: I would not open anything now; I would just transfer all classes to the Internet. Children take it very easily. They browse all sorts of virtual pages all the time anyway.

Give them assignments and teach them via the Internet. There are great materials, whatever you want. Give them assignments, and at the same time prepare these assignments together with them. Have tests every day and so on. In short, everything depends only on us.

Question: What about the physical communication of children with each other?

Answer: Physical communication of children can be exactly like that, in order for children to meet and communicate physically with each other. They do not need this for the classes. Each one studies on his own with a notebook, with a blackboard, and with a teacher. All this they have on their computer.

Question: What should we do with kindergartens and nursery schools? After all, mothers do go to work.

Answer: It should be done very simply: teach children to exercise via TV or computer, to do some kind of homework, to communicate with virtual animals, people, and so on. That is, cultivate skills of virtual communication in them.

Question: Would you also put the children of kindergarten age in front of the screen?

Answer: Of course. Imagine a boy who you put inside an airplane! He sits in front of these switches, and the pilot sits next to him and teaches him how to operate them. What prospects opens up for him! Do you have any idea what you are doing for a child?

We can do the same with a ship, with submarines. This is not a movie that you show them about other people, but he, himself, interactively participates in it. He can even become a surgeon if he wants: he listens to the heartbeat and how it all happens.

Make it all interactive, make it so that it becomes his life! Then when he becomes an adult, he understands what this is all about.

Imagine yourself as a boy, how it would capture you!

It is up to you to choose what profession you want. You can go with them through all the professions this way. Show them everything there is! Make it interactive, as if they are in the forest running after a wolf or catching something, communicating with someone.

Question: Would you replace all these games of killing and capturing with the positive and educational ones?

Answer: Of course! You develop a person! He goes through all this and learns from this.

Question: Would you cancel all these wars that fill the Internet?

Answer: Absolutely! Absolutely everything that existed before today.

Question: Do you think that their effect is terrible?

Answer: There is nothing good about them! We need to make only interactive programs for children so that they would feel that they are entering life. These programs would have to be correct.

Then you would raise people the way you want them to be. I would show the girls how to take care of a baby, with diapers, and so on. How to take children for a walk. Here she goes for a walk with a baby, and she looks at herself from the side. Or even not from the side—she looks as if from within herself and sees all this. This is life!

Question: Then let us touch on the third factor, nursery school. Up to what age  should a mother stay with a child? Should she be paid for it, not to go to work, not to be sent anywhere? We usually send a child to a nursery school from the age of six months, if not earlier.

Answer: To the age of 12 to 13 years.

Question: Should we pay the mother to be at home with the child until he turns 12 or 13?!

Answer: Yes.

Question: To be with a child who is already an adult?

Answer: Yes. If it is a girl, she will be with her mother, will be helping her, and will know how everything is done. Then, when she becomes a young lady, a bride, a woman, she will be fine, she will know what needs to be done and how it is done, and she will not be calling her mother, “Mom, how do I make porridge?”

Question: Is it the same for a boy? Should he also stay with his mother until a certain age?

Answer: There will be a little bigger problem with a boy because he has to learn a profession.

Question: But it can be done interactively?

Answer: Interactively, yes. However, he should devote most of his time to this.

Question: Still would you also keep a mother with the child up to 10 to 12 years old for both boys and girls.

Answer: Yes. But they would still have, say, three days or even half-days allocated for walks. It should be when a person comes along and picks up the boys and takes them for walks, to a museum, or a sports field, etc.

Question: Should it be a coach, an instructor, or a teacher who picks up boys from an area and takes them to show the real, corporeal world? Does he also teach them how to communicate with each other?

Answer: Yes. Once a day, a walk for two to three hours, and another two to three hours of some games at the sports ground, and so on.

Remark: You have just painted a beautiful world.

My Comment: Why can’t we do that? What is there?! We do not need to build anything for this. We just need to reorganize ourselves and that is it. It is easy!

Remark: What you have just painted is so beautiful! But I do not think it is easy.

My Comment: It is not easy because of our character, because of our egoism, but it is in our hands.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 5/25/20

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How To Stop Suicide Among Young People

283.01Question: Currently, suicides among young people are becoming more frequent. Against the backdrop of mass layoffs, income decline, and social isolation, young people suffer greatly. They feel very strongly the growing pressures on the family. Scientists say that after the pandemic ends, there will be an increase in suicides.

What is the reason for such a rather desperate step—ending one’s own life at a young age—for a generation that is just entering life?

Answer: We live to feel pleasure. The moment we do not feel pleasure, that very second seems as dead to us, worthless. If these moments continue one after another, we simply do not know what we exist for.

If we stop receiving pleasure, we do not know what we are living for.

Therefore, it is quite easy for us to understand people whose connection with good times, with a profession, with pleasure from some actions, people who could create, build, be in the circle of friends, loved ones, and ones who love them, and so on, is broken. Then indeed, if all this is lost, what is there to live for? After all, the very essence of our nature is yearning for fulfillment, for pleasure.

It turns out that there are very few pleasures in our life today. There are no fulfillments. That is why so many young people are just trying to end this life. Why should they suffer?

Question: How can they compensate for previous pleasures when social contacts, connections, and communication were one of the main tools for releasing energy?

Answer: And today there is none of that. Do not make a comparison with the youth from 20 to 30 years ago. They were much more primitive than the youth of today that has a huge number of connections around the earth. Modern young people understand how everything works and see not only on themselves, but on the young people around the world such examples in life because of which they do not want to live. What is the point?

Our egoism goes through the roof, it asks for some new, special fulfillments, but we cannot give them it, and thus emptiness appears. But you have everything! Take an interesting book and read it! He does not even want to open it: “What book?” Who has read a book lately? He would check some things on his computer a bit, nothing interesting either. And so on.

In other words, people are overfilled with opportunities, but these opportunities are not the ones that can fulfill them.

Question: Youth is the age when nature pushes a person to constantly develop. That is, the driving force from within pushes a person to develop. Why does this movement stop abruptly now both from within and without?

Answer: We are in a transition period between two very serious paradigms, phenomena, periods of human development. Until our time, all of humanity developed by the growing egoism. This growing egoism pushed everyone forward. It was interesting to grow, there was something to grow for. My innate egoism accompanied me all my life and pushed me further and further. Therefore, there were very few suicide attempts.

Today, our egoism stopped pushing us forward. It does not show us a bright future in its development. Therefore, I do not see what I should live for.

Question: Then what is man born for?

Answer: This is the question! Have you ever thought about it?

Question: Could it be that the lives of young people are interrupted exactly at the moment when they ask themselves this question and do not find the answer?

Answer: And do not find the answer. This is absolutely right.

Remark: Extreme games are actively developing among young people today.

Answer: This is because they do not feel satisfaction in ordinary life and they still need to feel themselves. A person has a feeling of himself when he is on the brink of something. When he reaches the edge.

Question: How can you not bring this borderline you are talking about to a critical outcome?

Answer: But they want it.

Question: Isn’t the aspiration for the extreme, for reaching beyond the boundaries of ordinary life, an aspiration to find something more?

Answer: I do not think that it is just because of that. They just need a feeling that they are alive. Living! And it does not exist in ordinary life.

Our life is over; our world has reached its limit for us. A person comes to a state called “reaching the edge”; he has reached the boundary. What is beyond it? Nothing!

If he does not end up with us where we will teach him how to get to the next level of the universe and not through death or some games, if he does not come to us, then there is nowhere to go. Then they resort to suicide.

Remark: I still want to find the rails on which a person, despite the fact that he is now in quarantine during the pandemic, when everything is collapsing and he feels that his life is also collapsing, would see these rails, stand on them, and go forward like a train.

Answer: No, For this he must come to us to study. You cannot just ride a train. There is a train, but you need to board it, hang on to it, and ride forward together with the others.

Question: How can people pass this tipping point?

Answer: They will not pass it until they discover the meaning of life, which is not in this egoistic life. Otherwise, there is no need to exist. They will kill themselves more and more.

Question: And where is this meaning if not in this life?

Answer: It is above it. You do not have to die for this, but you must rise above this life from our egoistic life into the altruistic one.

Question: Doesn’t that also mean death, in a way?

Answer: No, we do not kill anything. On the contrary, we are developing. Therefore, we need to talk about it a lot, explain a lot, gradually enter this area with our feelings and minds. However, in general, it is what gives us the answer to the question of the meaning of life and how to continue this meaning from our small egoistic world to a huge, open altruistic space.

Question: British social services say that in April, about half a million calls were received from teenagers and young people who were on the verge of committing suicide.

What would you say to young people who are just starting to live now? What do they need to do? Where to turn in order not to hit a dead-end, a limited path that ends after a certain amount of time, but to walk an eternal, endless road?

Answer: We need to convey to them as quickly as possible the method of revealing the upper integral world. Then they will understand what is worth living for. That is all we can do for them. They do not need anything else.

Question: What will they receive in this integral world?

Answer: Eternal meaning. Eternal existence in eternal attainment, in eternal fulfillment in unlimited form.

Question: Will they not feel stressed or lonely then?

Answer: Not at all! On the contrary, all this stress, loneliness, everything they have experienced, everything that has formed in them, this vacuum, this emptiness will be filled with the real meaning of life.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/12/20

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“Influencers And Generation Z” (Medium)


Medium published my new article “Influencers and Generation Z

It used to be authors, thinkers, philosophers, and highly educated people who inspired us. Now, vloggers, reality show stars, sparsely dressed Instagram models, and YouTube celebs are people’s role models. We rarely read anymore. People become influencers according to the number of subscribers and followers they have on social media, and they don’t garner them with words, but with pictures that are usually provocative, evocative, and exude an air of entitlement.

We should look at the role models of today’s young not with disapproval, but with alarm that we have let them come to such emptiness, that we have not given them goals that would make them truly happy. We should look at them and change ourselves, so they will change as well.

Yet, for all the shallowness of Generation Z, it is not necessarily bad that people have stopped reading because there is a good reason for it: They are far less naïve than we were. They don’t believe in people’s good will; they want clear-cut answers, and they are very sober about the life ahead of them. They are disillusioned, and this is good. They will take what helps them and reject what doesn’t, and it is up to us, who built the world they now live in, to provide them with helpful answers and solutions.

Young people today have little respect for academic titles, politicians, or powerful and super wealthy individuals. For the most part, they have no aspiration to be like any of them. They want to have fun today and they don’t believe that titles or social status make one happy. They are right, and they are clever.

However, they are also depressed because they see no future. If all there is to look for is some fun today, then why not get high on something and forget about tomorrow? But when they come down, they come down to hopelessness.

Although they suffer, this pain produces questions, real and deep questions about the meaning of life. Perhaps the best testimony of the intensity of this question is the increase in suicidal tendencies among young people. According to an essay published in Business Insider, “Suicide is Gen Z’s second-leading cause of death, and it’s a worse epidemic than anything millennials faced at that age.”

It is our job, the millennials and Gen Xs, to provide them with answers. We are the ones who must introduce to them the benefits of human connection, the confidence and security that we can find only among people that we trust. We are the ones who must show them, through our own example, that it’s more rewarding to raise our eyes from the cell phone screen and look at each other.

We, their parents, must demonstrate how communicating and conversing about social unity creates a strong and solid community where socializing is fun. We are the ones who must realize that the tensions we are feeling today, the hatred between rivaling camps, and the anger we are venting freely do not contribute anything positive to us or to our children. On the contrary, they are destroying our society, and without a strong society, we and our children have no future, not even on the physical level.

So we should look at the role models of today’s young not with disapproval, but with alarm that we have let them come to such emptiness, that we have not given them goals that would make them truly happy. We should look at them and change ourselves, so they will change as well.

We should teach them that a person who disagrees with me is not my enemy, but an inseparable part of the fabric of society, and that only disagreements help me understand my own ideas and feelings. We should lead by example, and show that only when we embrace the different and cherish our diversity do we build a united society that is a thrill to live in and a solid basis for the future.

What Adults Can Give Children

907Question: Do grandparents have a special function in the development of their grandchildren? How does this compare to the parenting function?

Answer: Parents provide corporeality for their children. Grandparents support their grandchildren more spiritually.

Question: Today it is difficult for adults to keep up with young people. What can they teach children? Therefore, we see that children neglect their parents. If in the past parents passed on some skills to their children from generation to generation, today a child can earn his living by himself.

Answer: You speak from the point of view of absolute egoism: A child can earn money. But he needs more than that. He needs emotional, mental, spiritual, and psychological support. Without parents and even without grandparents, he cannot find this in himself.

Question: What skills can parents pass on to their children today, besides emotional support?

Answer: When children begin to have children of their own, then parents can give them what the children feel necessary for themselves.
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From KabTV’s “The Post-Coronavirus Era” 5/21/20

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The Vaccine Is Already There In Every Heart

284.01The main thing in the fight against coronavirus is to understand the disease itself. Until we understand what state we are in, we will not be able to move forward to the next stage toward healing. After all, nature is not going to give us a miracle cure that will allow us to end the virus and forget about it.

Nature’s purpose is not to guide us through the disease and cure us. Nature wants the suffering from the virus to compel us to reveal the human factor in it, that is, our disconnection and unkind relations with each other.

And then we will correct the attitude of one to another, in order to start worrying about what other people think and feel, we will understand what is in their hearts. If we do not establish such a relationship, we will continue to suffer from the coronavirus or other viruses that are behind it in a long line. The epidemic will not end because we are in a new era and are obliged to correct the peoples’ attitude toward others.

Every bad state is the result of our hatred for each other. The very realization of this already serves as the beginning of the treatment. If humanity hears this message, this is already half of the cure. We don’t need all these vaccines. Every country is now trying to be the first to release a vaccine against the coronavirus, not in order to cure humanity, but to make money on it.

This is exactly the opposite action. Every country wants to sell a vaccine. It is not proud of the fact that it can save all of humanity, it does not offer everyone: “Take our vaccine and be treated!” No, it says, “Buy this.” That is, here we are acting exactly opposite of how this blow directs us. And so the vaccine will not bring any improvement.

But we already have a cure for the coronavirus, we have a vaccine. And it is very simple: a kind attitude toward each other neutralizes all viruses. Did you want a vaccine? You have it! Everyone has a cure for the virus in their hearts. Use it! Nothing is needed other than this.

This antivirus in the heart is love, unity, closeness of the heart. It is the most reliable medicine that destroys all viruses. Let’s run clinical trials like trial vaccines are being tested now. We will organize a group in which people really start to get closer to each other, and make sure that they are not affected by the coronavirus.

And in this a woman with her mother’s heart has a special role. If women really wanted to get rid of the coronavirus, and realized that this was possible due to their joint efforts, they would do it.

Otherwise, the epidemic will grow, because the summer is over and children are returning to school. And then the time will come for holidays, festive gatherings and prayers. If we leave everything as it is, there will be no end to the blows. Nature will not yield.

We are in a new era called the “last generation,” and we must come to love our neighbor as ourselves. Only this can be a cure for all diseases that are now awaiting humanity, in all forms. We don’t even know where to expect blows from, but they will come.

We hope that women all over the world will hear us and understand that in the heart of every person, and especially women, there is a power that can save everyone. It seems that the relationship between people has no connection with the virus, with chemistry and biology, but in fact it does. Our relationship has the highest, hidden power, and therefore, only by correcting them, can we cope with viruses. Otherwise, we will all suffer, and above all, women.

Understanding that the virus appears as a result of an egoistic connection between us, and good relations destroy the virus and serve as a medicine—this very knowledge will already begin to heal us. Good relationships are the source of all good, and the lack of such connection is the source of all evil, and the coronavirus is meant to prove it to us.

A woman as a mother should direct the whole family to treat others kindly. Do you remember how our mother instructed us, sending us to school or walking in the yard: “Be a good child, do not fight, and then they will not hurt you either. Cross the street only along the proper passage. Take care of others, help them, and then they will help you too.” This is called being a “good kid.” So let’s all be good kids. And women, mothers, must tell us this. After all, we do not lose anything by it!

Why do we teach children to behave well on the street and are confident that it will do them good? Because we know that kindness evokes kindness in return. And it’s the same here, let’s become kinder to each other and see how it helps. And if it suddenly does not destroy the coronavirus, then what do we lose by limiting our selfishness a little, which brings us so many troubles?

It is worth trying the medicine that is already within us. It already exists, we don’t need to invent anything. And I am sure that if we use this medicine that is in our heart, we will defeat all viruses.
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From KabTV’s “Women in the New World” 8/30/20

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How To Get Out Of Misery

622.01Question: How not to pass suffering on to others? Should suffering be hidden?

Answer: I think that it is advisable not to convey negative feelings to people. To do so because it makes it easier for you is super-egoism. Therefore, we must try, on the contrary, to play in front of people and put on a “good face”.

Question: Is it despite the fact that you are suffering and feel bad yourself?

Answer: Yes. Then you will get out of it quickly because when you show others that you are in a good mood, you will enter it yourself.

Question: Do you kind of get out of your suffering and enter a good mood in order to convey it to others? This in fact is high aerobatics. What about a Kabbalist when he suffers?

Answer: A Kabbalist, suffering, laughs at himself. Really laughs at himself. Because there is no reason for suffering at all! Except for our petty selfishness.

Therefore, if you laugh at it, you can quickly get out of it. I saw it on my teacher. This is, of course, an excellent example of how a person can rise above suffering.

Question: But is the suffering itself felt at this moment?

Answer: Of course. This he cannot remove. He can only try to rise above it. In principle, according to Kabbalah, it is forbidden to destroy suffering, eradicate it, or erase its source, but it is necessary to rise above it.

Question: So there is both suffering and my rise above it?

Answer: Yes. Then, in the difference between them, you begin to feel the greatness of the Creator.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 5/18/20

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According To The Law Of Mutual Completion

95Question: You say that new values should include knowledge of the global laws of nature and their observance in family relationships, in particular, in cases of conflict between generations. Can you name at least one such law?

Answer: This is the law of mutual completion. For example, in a family, one exists in a certain volume on a natural level: the smallest are the most important. And the older and stronger a person is in the family, the more he owes the rest. This type of law should also exist in society.

Question: For thousands of years, there have been conflicts between women and men, between fathers and children, between nations and countries. What does nature want to show us?

Answer: Nature wants to demonstrate that we must rise above these conflicts to become one family. And in the family, there is mutual completion. Everyone makes their own feasible contribution to the common piggy bank: a small child with his participation and warmth, the adult with his greater participation, greater contribution.
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From KabTV’s “The Post-Coronavirus Era” 5/21/20

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