Answer: Before you start working on loving the other you should feel how much you love yourself, how much you think about yourself all the time, and how much you cannot give up on yourself. The most important thing for you is to please yourself, to feel good. You cannot really think about others.
When you examine all this and feel how egoistic you are, then you start realizing that you do not need anything except to transfer such an attitude toward your beloved self to others.
And a person who still does not feel that he loves only himself, and very strongly, cannot start working on love of the other. He does not understand what love is.
We comprehend the notion of love through love of oneself when I am all about myself, all the time for myself. For example, now you sit in the most comfortable way and already think about how you will come home soon, get some rest, and lie down on the sofa. “Where are my slippers, my TV set, and my dinner?” That is, you seek comfort all the time. You want to entertain only your beloved self, you want to wrap him up and put him in a warm bed.
One needs to feel this strongly within oneself. And one can feel it in a ten.
When you aspire to think about others in the ten, you truly begin to feel how you love only yourself. You do not need friends, anyone. You cannot think about anyone but oneself.
It is specifically from this realization that you can start talking about you needing to love others. You have an example of loving yourself. Now start relating to others the way you relate to yourself. It is not easy.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 12/29/19