Entries in the 'Children' Category

Six Rules For Getting Out Of Neurosis

962.2Comment: The well-known psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky has drawn six rules relating to how to get out of neurosis, stop worrying, and live well. First: do only what you want to do. “Just listen to yourself, to your feelings, and do what you want,” he says. This is the first rule of a normal, healthy life.

My Response: Not bad. It is difficult to disagree with this. Any person agrees with this because he is an egoist, after all.

Question: What stands behind this rule: I do what I want? We did not live like that. I went to work because I had to.

Answer: It depends on what I want. If my desires are at odds with others, with those around me, then of course there will be a problem of what I will get in response to the fulfillment of my desires.

Comment: The second rule: do not do what you do not want to do. He continues: “Concessions and compromises are a direct way to a cardiologist or oncologist. So you should not do what you do not want to do. Ever!”

My Response: It is true that internal contradiction causes all kinds of diseases and problems. He is right. But what can be done? After all, we live in a world in which I am not a son of royalty who can do whatever I want. Incidentally, I suffered greatly from the fact that my parents allowed me too much. I think this is a wrong attitude.

Question: There is a problem here, not doing what you do not want to. Suppose I went to work that I did not want to go to, and we were forced to do what we did not really want to do since childhood. I didn’t really want to go to school either. Do you think there is a problem here?

Answer: According to the psychologist, yes.

Comment: The third rule is to immediately talk about what you do not like. That is, to say right away: “You cannot do this to me, it is unpleasant for me.” This is a healthy way to respond. And you only have to say it once. If you are not heard, step away from the relationship.

My Response: I understand that. If possible.

Question: You add this tag all the time?

Answer: Of course! It cannot be different. Of course, I would not go to work that is unpleasant to me, I would not communicate with people who are unpleasant to me at all, I would only do what is good and convenient for me. I would not say what I do not like and would say what I like. What would happen then?

Comment: Fourth: not to answer if you are not asked. Remarks such as “How tired I am! I am sick and tired of everything, I have no more strength,” are not questions. And you should not respond to them with “What happened to you? Why are you complaining? ”

So don’t answer when you are not asked.

My Response: This is good. It is real, and it is reasonable.

Comment: Fifth: to respond only to the question. “When you are asked a question and you answer only that question, then you are a confident person.”

My Response: This may be good. But then you will not have any topic for conversation, and people will think that you are just closed inside yourself, selfish, and that is it.

Comment: Furthermore: “When sorting out the relationship, talk only about yourself. This rule does not imply any conflict at all. You do not sort out the relationship with your partner, do not argue with him, and just talk about yourself, only about yourself.”

My Response: Okay, talk.

Comment: All of your answers just now testify to the fact that these rules are more suitable for a person who lives in an empty space.

My Response: Of course.

Question: That is, if you are surrounded by others, you by and large will not be able to really observe these rules?

Answer: No.

Comment: Another thing he claims is that only a stable, psychologically healthy, and egoistic person can observe these rules, and that is how one should live in our world.

My Response: I do not think this is possible.

Comment: You keep answering that the environment will not give you the chance to live according to these rules.

My Response: No. It will press, change, and reformat you. It is not correct when I say only what I want, when I need to, and what I need.

Question: Then give us your several rules or one rule of how to live a healthy life in the environment, in our world, so that you feel that you are living. What do you think?

Answer: We have no other choice but to raise our eyes above ourselves and think about what the surrounding world and nature requires of us, even regardless of us. What is it leading all of itself to, what does it desire?

The surrounding nature wants to be in absolute rest and uniform rectilinear motion, as we learned in school about the laws of physics. This means that there is a goal when all of nature will be harmoniously and mutually interconnected at all its levels and in all actions and when all of the reactions of nature will be absolutely, correctly associated with actions. In this state, the world will be in absolute harmony.

When we are in such a state, then what he writes about can be partially fulfilled. Because we are connected with each other internally already in advance, I do not need to talk or discuss anything with anyone. What I feel, those around me understand and feel too.

Question: That is, then there will be no violence?

Answer: Yes.

Question: So, you are saying, look at nature, cling to it, and live like this. In such a movement.

The main thing is: what should my behavior, that of a man, be?

Answer: That I annul myself, despite the fact that he says you should only listen to yourself and everything else. But in fact it will result in something else, as if in the opposite of itself, when I annul myself, when I add, combine, unite myself with others into one common whole and relate not to myself and not to others, but to this common whole, to our internal connection with each other, and all of nature is in this union.

Then a person enters an absolutely comfortable state. There is no need to ask anyone any questions, to receive any answers, no need to torment and strive; one just needs to maintain this inner absolute and complete balance. And then you will begin to feel perfection, eternity, mutual penetration, mutual understanding, attainment, and awareness of the creation in which you exist.

Question: Then what will the first rule “do only what you want” turn into, based on what you have said?

Answer: Your desires will not be different, just do what you need, what everyone around you wants.

Question: “Do not do what you do not want to do?”

Answer: You will correct your desires, intentions, aspirations, and goals in such a way that they will be so true that only their implementation will be correct and absolutely true.

Question: “Talk about what you do not like right away?”

Answer: You will feel all the slightest inconsistencies, mismatches with the general plan of nature, and you will immediately correct them.

Question: “Do not answer when you are not asked?”

Answer: You will feel those around you and very keenly understand whether there is an opportunity to complete them with something. But in principle, this work on completing others is the most important one.

Question: “Respond only to the question?”

Answer: Yes, you will feel the desires of others, and only they will determine your actions.

Question: “When sorting out the relationship, talk only about yourself?”

Answer: Yes, because everything depends only on you, and everything will be determined only by you, and you will feel that you, being in the center of the world, rule, determine, and most importantly, care about this world. And only this care for every created being is your life.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/19/21

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Learning Integral Relationships

528.04The most important thing in our work in regards to society is simply to educate people. Those people who will be able to reveal integral qualities within themselves, that is, to connect in the ten with the others in order to exit the individual egoistic perception of the world into integral interaction, when they rise above their egoism and begin to feel not themselves, but their collective as themselves, and through it perceive the entire universe as integral—these people will continue to engage in education and management. We need to prepare them for this.

However, in principle, all of humanity is necessary for this. Every person today has a question about the meaning of existence, about the way we can restructure our lives. Nature itself says that we must change ourselves in accordance with it.

We have completed the egoistic path of development. In recent decades, it has been in crisis, and is beginning to devour itself. Like in the saying: the revolution devours its children. It is the same here. Humanity must begin to feel this.

I think that if we really created small experimental groups that would solve managerial tasks and give their recommendations based on the integrality of nature, meaning from the correct relationship of a person with nature, then we could not make mistakes in our decisions and would turn a society with such managers into the society of the future.
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From KabTV’s “The Science of Management”

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How Can You Learn To Be Happy?

284.03Comment: We see that people are not doing very well in the world today. They suffer, this world drowns them.

There is a letter from a program viewer about such a state.
Dear Michael Laitman, you say that everything that happens should bring joy. Teach us joy, I beg you very much!  There is complete chaos all over, and everything happening to me, to my family, loved ones, to the world is a nightmare! Only a year ago, it was impossible to imagine that it would be so.

My Response: The whole problem is in good and bad states—how we perceive them. This is a purely subjective perception. If we knew for sure that this state was good, directed toward good, toward our good future, then we would also endure this state in a different way.

When you treat a dog or other animal and hurt it, it understands that you are doing something right and good for it and it will endure your treatment calmly.

In the same way, we must understand that this is how we should relate to what we are going through. We must raise ourselves a little to the level of being aware of our common goal and look at all our changes as something that we need to go through in order to learn! Learning to understand nature or the Creator is one and the same. It is the same nature that guides us, gradually leads and teaches us.

Question: It must be painful?

Answer: It hurts because you disagree with it. As soon as you start to agree with it, there is no pain but, on the contrary, there is joy.

Comment: The goal must be very high then.

My Response: We are trying to explain this to people. Those who can be filled with this goal, they relate to life in a completely different way.

Comment: If the goal used to be, as it was said before, to build a house and start a family, now there are tons of obstacles on the way to it. A person understands that he is really being rammed.

My Response: You can do it. You are simply reminded that you must also take care of the burial place.

And therefore, when you build a house, start a family, and give birth to children, there is this place in front of you which you must also prepare for yourself. And you see the uselessness, the futility. It kills the person.

We are becoming more developed so we can no longer close our eyes to all this or take a philosophical attitude as it was treated for a while: “You cannot do anything. Such is life.”

No, it does not apply today. If “such is life,” then why should I have children, why should I learn a trade? Why all this? And then it turns out that day to day I do not serve myself but others, and such,  or children who do nothing afterward and have no gratitude. Our entire existence emphasizes our uselessness. The lack of purpose is such that there is simply nothing, and thus, apathy appears.

The time has come to realize that there is no meaning in our life. Where is it?

The meaning of life means that there is this enormous nature and there is a thought that controls this nature, launches it, creates it.

It is this thought, this design, the great design of nature, that we must reveal. And then we will know the meaning of life. Because life is everything. What do we mean by “everything?” It is still nature: vegetative, animate, and human. It all has a meaning that is above this life.

And this meaning, it twists, it organizes, it rotates everything. So we need to rise above our life.

We just need to open our eyes and understand why nature created it all. This is what nature drives us to. This is what we must reveal.

And the idea is to rise above our world because it is actually the worst of the worlds, and this is not a poetic expression. To rise above it means to reveal this plan, this force, this thought, this idea. And when we understand it, this thought, then we begin to see beyond time, beyond space, beyond everything. Then a person begins to feel himself at the level of the Creator.

Question: And still, what is this thought?

Answer: Harmony! The absolute harmony of all parts of creation! Something which is not in us. And therefore, acting in this way toward us, nature pushes us to understand this harmony.

We must reveal this. We are not going anywhere! We cannot simply destroy ourselves, we cannot refuse it, forget ourselves. We must discover and attain this harmony.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/11/21

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Will Millennials Save Us?

627.2Comment: Millennials are those who were born from 1982 to 2004. These are strong guys who are now under 40. They have already experienced the crisis of 2008, they are now experiencing a pandemic, and it is not yet known what they will experience next.

Demographers compare them to the Great Generation. The great generation is the generation that lived in the 20s and 30s, survived the great depression and, most importantly, survived the Spanish flu. And this generation managed to build America, restore Europe.

Now they say that the millennial generation can be similar to the previous one and that it will be able to build a new economy and turn the world around in a new way.

What do you think of this generation, these strong forty-year-olds?

My Response: I don’t see that they are in a quest, in struggle, in eagerness. They have a very pragmatic view. They don’t look like revolutionaries to me. And why should they rush, do something, make some kind of revolution? What’s the matter?

Comment: They survived the 2008 crisis…

My Response: They lived through it while sitting at their computers. Nothing else.

Question: And a pandemic that stopped entire industries, destroyed entire industries?

Answer: I don’t think it’s that important or alarming for them.

Question: So what will turn the situation around? It can’t go on like that, can it?

Answer: No. There must be an awareness much deeper than a crisis —a dead end.

What did that generation do? It has practically revived industry, trade, and so on. It won’t do any good now. It won’t do anything. There is a huge trade turnover, industry, whatever you want.

Question: What does nature want from us?

Answer: Nature wants us to radically change, reflect on our life, on its meaning.

Question: So there should be a deeper understanding for this generation?

Answer: Yes. Why are we here, what are we doing? What will this pandemic bring us? Why does it come from the depths of nature? What pluses and minuses should it point out to us? None of it is there. I don’t see this anywhere: not among philosophers, psychologists, or politicians, no one has serious research or just thoughts on this topic.

A person should say: “It is wonderful that such an opportunity has arisen to change myself, the system, humanity, the direction of industry, trade, education, and upbringing! We will reconsider everything that is in the world today!” In general, the questions: “What do we live for? Where are we going?” We need to understand what we are today and what we should be tomorrow.

Why should we cry today?! What have we freed ourselves from? We just need to take advantage of this moment and do something about ourselves—all people! Because we are all in a crisis; it is universal. The crisis is global. This crisis is a crisis of human development, of egoistic human development.

Question: Can a person understand this? Turn the thinking around just like that, can he?

Answer: Explain to him what is happening globally with humanity, and I think that everyone will agree with this except for those who do not benefit from it.

Question: Why is there no understanding of it yet?

Answer: Humanity has no way of seeing ahead. Because what is available today, always suits it.

Question: You contradict yourself. Then who will push this situation forward? Who will say first: “Look,” and have people look? Everything has its own “father.” In Singapore, there was a “father” who turned everything around. In America, they began to turn around during the Depression. And so on.

Everywhere there are their own presidents, their own revolutionaries. Who’s going to say the whole thing now? To whom is your appeal? Who are you talking to?

Answer: I do not know to whom to appeal. We don’t have anyone like Einstein or Marx. I personally say what I can. He who hears, hears.

Question: If someone hears, you are ready to sit down and for days, as long as necessary, to talk to him, to explain?

Answer: I am ready not only to talk to such a person, but to work with him in general.

Question: And work as much as necessary, explaining to him the whole system, the whole nature, and where it leads us?

Answer: Yes.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/29/21

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You Cannot Erase Mom And Dad!

294.2Comment: A New York school teaches children a new language that does not have the words “mom,” “dad,” “boy,” or “girl.” All these words are considered offensive by the school administration. Instead of “mom” and “dad,” you should say “adults,” “relatives,” and “family”; instead of the words “father” and “mother” gender-neutral terms should be used: “parent” or “guardian,” and instead of “husband” and “wife” – “partner.”

A new language is slowly entering the world. Will it enter or not?

My Response: It will not. What is given by nature is given by nature! That’s it!

You can’t go anywhere! “Dad,” “mom,” to replace?!

Question: In principle, these words—”dad,” “mom,” and in Hebrew: “Ima,” “Aba“—are they taken from a natural state? So the baby’s lips begin to say: “dad,” “mom,” “Ima,” “Aba“?

Answer: Of course.

Question: And there is no way of getting away from it?

Answer: No.

Comment: Even if people want to change this language?

My Response: This goes against the degrees of nature, which thus determined us. And in man these degrees are given to him forever. But animals don’t, they disappear. After two or three years, cubs part with their parents. Or rather, with the mother, because the father does not define anything there at all.

Question: And if the cub meets its mother in three years, it won’t even recognize her?

Answer: It’s not that he doesn’t recognize, they start new offspring among themselves. That is, they are completely disconnected from the past.

The mother is only needed there to feed and train the cub for, say, two or three years, depending on what species, and that’s it. And then there is nothing.

Comment: And for a person remains for life.

My Response: For life, from generation to generation. We still want to know who was in our past generations. We are very interested in this.

Question: What kind of violence is happening now that a husband and wife are a partner, a father and a mother are a parent, a guardian?

Answer: All this mutilated the language, the relationships between people. These are all egoistic deformities that come out all the time that want to show themselves more and more right, acting. All this will pass. You don’t even have to fight with it, it will all die away. Give it a little time, and it’ll all be gone.

Question: And what will happen?

Answer: Nothing will happen, you cannot erase mom and dad.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 4/5/21

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How To Bring People To A Good Relationship?

760.4Question: Is it possible today to introduce a connection similar to a spiritual one in modern cities in order to bring people to good relationships?

Answer: I do not know how we can do that. After all, it is necessary to educate people; it is necessary to show them what they have in modern cities. Everyone enters their own cell, closes the door behind them with a couple of locks, checks whether they are closed, whether their neighbors will disturb them. Unfortunately, this is the only way we can feel somehow safe.

A person, first of all, subconsciously thinks about this. We pay attention to our clothes, our houses and apartments, how we behave, and our personal vehicles, etc. All this comes from our inner need to protect ourselves. Maybe a person does not feel it so much, but it is so! This is the root of the problems of thievery, violence, and anything at all.

However, if we provide a person with security regardless of any external conditions, and he will not have a tendency to isolate himself from others, on the contrary, he will feel that he is always ready for communication, for even greater rapprochement, then we will have a completely different construction, architecture, the science of space distribution. Then everything will be different.

Instead, today we have a tendency to make a minimal environment safe for myself wherever I am: in a taxi, in the subway, it does not matter where, but I still feel that I am among others. This is my place, this is my security, this is my life, my cell.

Therefore, we need to educate people toward more friendly connections, and then, based on this, to the extent that they feel safe, they will expand their boundaries and change the appearance of cities, apartments, and everything else.
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From KabTV’s “Conversations” 6/9/21

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New Life 1309 – Communication With Small Kids In The Family

New Life 1309 – Communication With Small Kids In The Family
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

I need to constantly imagine what my child lacks and how I should relate to him with respect to that lack. We should parent using three approaches: as a grownup who dictates, as an equal, and as smaller by learning from the child and modeling that it is okay not to know things.

A successful child is a balanced child who does not burst out for better or for worse, a child who understands where he is and behaves maturely. I should let the child feel that I am always on his side and whatever I do is for his sake; when I have to force him to do something, it distresses me. It is a good idea to share my internal world with a child while not pressuring him and giving him space to grow independently.

To sum up, do everything together with the child so that he will understand that cooperation is the key to success in life.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 1309 – Communication With Small Kids In The Family,” 6/13/21

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Who Are Real Friends?

939.01Question: “The International Day of Friendship was proclaimed in 2011 by the UN General Assembly with the idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities.” (UN.org)

What is International Friendship Day for you?

Answer: For me, everyday is like this. I meet with my students. Our regular congress ended the other day. Four to five thousand people were in a real time connection via the Internet. We saw each other, we listened, we talked, and we felt each other. These are friends.

Friends are people who are close to you in terms of purpose, perception of the world, and life, its inner harmony and external discord.

Question: They don’t need to be reminded of anything?

Answer: No. We all experience this every day. A friend is someone who understands how you feel, and in some ways is in solidarity with you, in other ways, maybe not. But he understands you, you understand him. And together you are constantly looking for some common moments of rapprochement.

Question: Even if these are simple moments of rapprochement, in every day life? Would you call that a friend, too?

Answer: I think so, as well. Because in the end, all of our high matter is also there to make it all a corporeal rapprochement. We don’t need anything else, it should be very simple: rise above our conventionality, above all that man, nations, people, and states live by. Rise above this into mutual bestowal, mutual love, mutual support and you will gain a sense of upper force.

I think that there should still be a mutual sense of inner connection. This is the first thing.

And second, we must understand how we need to help each other and participate together in creating a common spiritual space, a spiritual grid on which we exist. It can be based simultaneously on the desire to help physically and materially, but, in general, it is a spiritual network.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 6/7/21

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How Not To Remain Van Gogh

235Comment: Pablo Picasso said: “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”

This is very much in tune with what you said about questions about existence, questions about life “Why was I born?” are already inherent in the little person and then we somehow lose it.

My response: I totally agree. We do not lose it, it rather disappears from us. We do not want to focus on the question of the meaning of life: What do I need life for? What do I exist for? What was I born for?

For a small child, by the way, this is a very urgent inner question. He cannot ask it, he may not be able to answer it, but he lives with it. He has a very serious demand from both his parents and people around him. If you pay attention, there is an urgent demand in his every action. The small child sitting in your arms demands to reveal the question of the meaning of life.

Question: Why does it all disappear all of a sudden? After all, he demands it!

Answer: The force called the evil inclination appears. And it starts to confuse him.

Question: Do you mean that it is impossible to walk this path smoothly?

Answer: He must contain this evil force in himself, he must fight it, he must find himself at war against it, and only from this fight can he come out as an adult. Otherwise, he will remain Van Gogh. He will be painting for the rest of his life and nothing more.

Question: Will he no longer ask the question “What do I live for?” Getting a lot of money…

Answer: This is not the meaning of life.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/22/21

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How Can We Make Life Easier—Seven Recommendations

563Comment: Seven recommendations have been given for a person to make their life easier. One is: “The ability to wait is the best thing that you can teach a person.”

My Response: If it is not spiritual work, then yes; but if it is spiritual work, then no. We must advance non-stop along the spiritual path.

Comment: “The first step is only the beginning,” which means that having made this step, you are already halfway to victory.

My Response: The first step is not halfway to victory, but it is still a start. If it is the beginning of a victory, it will be possible to see it later on.

Question: Is it a sign that you are advancing if it is difficult?

Answer: I don’t think that difficulty is a sign of advancing correctly. No.

The sign of correct advancement is that we know how to connect all problems, information, data, and the contrasts to one unique whole to our root toward which we are moving, and where we all complement each other and connect perfectly into one unique whole picture.

Comment: “Break off the chains that bind your thoughts and then break off the chains that bind your body.” Sometimes we are stuck in the same place because our thoughts don’t allow us to advance and we need to get rid of negative thoughts that stop us and invoke fear.

My Response: We move by both negative and positive thoughts. It is like a wheel, part of which moves forward while the other part moves backward.

Comment: “Tranquility is the key to success.” When we are calm, we can do much more than when we are upset.

My Response: No. All of the wisdom of Kabbalah is built on contradictions, on a combination of contradictions. We need to be calm in full infinite motion and not any other way. We cannot be calm and succumb to fate and the flow of life wherever it carries us.

Those are methods of the East and they do not include the left line. So, I cannot compare them to the wisdom of Kabbalah and interpret them in any way.

Comment: “Condemnation is darkness for a person.” We should never humiliate or insult one’s personality. The only thing we can do is to condemn someone for his actions but not the person himself.

My Response: We should not condemn anyone, no one at all. You should correct yourself, and by correcting yourself, you correct the world in a way that there will no longer be anyone who will condemn you.

Comment: “Believing that you are right is a limitation.”

My Response: You can believe that you are right only when what you do is strengthened by the upper reason, by the masses, and not by you. When you follow the masses and reveal the Creator in the connection between you, you find the truth. But the truth cannot be according to the way of an individual.

In order to find your way in life you must have nine other friends so that in a ten you will be able to create a mini system, a mini-society in which, like in a lab, you will be able to plan in absolute accuracy all of nature, all of humanity, all the worlds between you.

You will create a kind of a magic ball of your ten desires and intentions, and in it you will be able to see all the universes, all the worlds, everything there is in them, and the Creator, and then by working on this model you will clearly understand who you are, where and how you are advancing.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/24/19

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