Comment: The well-known psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky has drawn six rules relating to how to get out of neurosis, stop worrying, and live well. First: do only what you want to do. “Just listen to yourself, to your feelings, and do what you want,” he says. This is the first rule of a normal, healthy life.
My Response: Not bad. It is difficult to disagree with this. Any person agrees with this because he is an egoist, after all.
Question: What stands behind this rule: I do what I want? We did not live like that. I went to work because I had to.
Answer: It depends on what I want. If my desires are at odds with others, with those around me, then of course there will be a problem of what I will get in response to the fulfillment of my desires.
Comment: The second rule: do not do what you do not want to do. He continues: “Concessions and compromises are a direct way to a cardiologist or oncologist. So you should not do what you do not want to do. Ever!”
My Response: It is true that internal contradiction causes all kinds of diseases and problems. He is right. But what can be done? After all, we live in a world in which I am not a son of royalty who can do whatever I want. Incidentally, I suffered greatly from the fact that my parents allowed me too much. I think this is a wrong attitude.
Question: There is a problem here, not doing what you do not want to. Suppose I went to work that I did not want to go to, and we were forced to do what we did not really want to do since childhood. I didn’t really want to go to school either. Do you think there is a problem here?
Answer: According to the psychologist, yes.
Comment: The third rule is to immediately talk about what you do not like. That is, to say right away: “You cannot do this to me, it is unpleasant for me.” This is a healthy way to respond. And you only have to say it once. If you are not heard, step away from the relationship.
My Response: I understand that. If possible.
Question: You add this tag all the time?
Answer: Of course! It cannot be different. Of course, I would not go to work that is unpleasant to me, I would not communicate with people who are unpleasant to me at all, I would only do what is good and convenient for me. I would not say what I do not like and would say what I like. What would happen then?
Comment: Fourth: not to answer if you are not asked. Remarks such as “How tired I am! I am sick and tired of everything, I have no more strength,” are not questions. And you should not respond to them with “What happened to you? Why are you complaining? ”
So don’t answer when you are not asked.
My Response: This is good. It is real, and it is reasonable.
Comment: Fifth: to respond only to the question. “When you are asked a question and you answer only that question, then you are a confident person.”
My Response: This may be good. But then you will not have any topic for conversation, and people will think that you are just closed inside yourself, selfish, and that is it.
Comment: Furthermore: “When sorting out the relationship, talk only about yourself. This rule does not imply any conflict at all. You do not sort out the relationship with your partner, do not argue with him, and just talk about yourself, only about yourself.”
My Response: Okay, talk.
Comment: All of your answers just now testify to the fact that these rules are more suitable for a person who lives in an empty space.
My Response: Of course.
Question: That is, if you are surrounded by others, you by and large will not be able to really observe these rules?
Comment: Another thing he claims is that only a stable, psychologically healthy, and egoistic person can observe these rules, and that is how one should live in our world.
My Response: I do not think this is possible.
Comment: You keep answering that the environment will not give you the chance to live according to these rules.
My Response: No. It will press, change, and reformat you. It is not correct when I say only what I want, when I need to, and what I need.
Question: Then give us your several rules or one rule of how to live a healthy life in the environment, in our world, so that you feel that you are living. What do you think?
Answer: We have no other choice but to raise our eyes above ourselves and think about what the surrounding world and nature requires of us, even regardless of us. What is it leading all of itself to, what does it desire?
The surrounding nature wants to be in absolute rest and uniform rectilinear motion, as we learned in school about the laws of physics. This means that there is a goal when all of nature will be harmoniously and mutually interconnected at all its levels and in all actions and when all of the reactions of nature will be absolutely, correctly associated with actions. In this state, the world will be in absolute harmony.
When we are in such a state, then what he writes about can be partially fulfilled. Because we are connected with each other internally already in advance, I do not need to talk or discuss anything with anyone. What I feel, those around me understand and feel too.
Question: That is, then there will be no violence?
Question: So, you are saying, look at nature, cling to it, and live like this. In such a movement.
The main thing is: what should my behavior, that of a man, be?
Answer: That I annul myself, despite the fact that he says you should only listen to yourself and everything else. But in fact it will result in something else, as if in the opposite of itself, when I annul myself, when I add, combine, unite myself with others into one common whole and relate not to myself and not to others, but to this common whole, to our internal connection with each other, and all of nature is in this union.
Then a person enters an absolutely comfortable state. There is no need to ask anyone any questions, to receive any answers, no need to torment and strive; one just needs to maintain this inner absolute and complete balance. And then you will begin to feel perfection, eternity, mutual penetration, mutual understanding, attainment, and awareness of the creation in which you exist.
Question: Then what will the first rule “do only what you want” turn into, based on what you have said?
Answer: Your desires will not be different, just do what you need, what everyone around you wants.
Question: “Do not do what you do not want to do?”
Answer: You will correct your desires, intentions, aspirations, and goals in such a way that they will be so true that only their implementation will be correct and absolutely true.
Question: “Talk about what you do not like right away?”
Answer: You will feel all the slightest inconsistencies, mismatches with the general plan of nature, and you will immediately correct them.
Question: “Do not answer when you are not asked?”
Answer: You will feel those around you and very keenly understand whether there is an opportunity to complete them with something. But in principle, this work on completing others is the most important one.
Question: “Respond only to the question?”
Answer: Yes, you will feel the desires of others, and only they will determine your actions.
Question: “When sorting out the relationship, talk only about yourself?”
Answer: Yes, because everything depends only on you, and everything will be determined only by you, and you will feel that you, being in the center of the world, rule, determine, and most importantly, care about this world. And only this care for every created being is your life.
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/19/21