Question: For 40 years, Denmark has ranked among the happiest countries in the world and it also raises happy children. The Danes follow a principle called Hygge, which means “coziness.” However, they apply this not only to their homes, but also to their relationships with others.
For example, they say: “When you enter a hygge space, you leave your stress and negativity outside the family circle.” This is the key principle, meaning that this is our time together, not just my time with you.
Suppose a parent comes home feeling stressed from work or elsewhere. Before entering, they should take a moment to stand by the door or sit in the car for 10 minutes to shift their state of mind. Only then should they step inside, bringing a sense of hygge, a warm inner comfort.
Everyone gathers in one room for at least a couple of hours and sings. Danes sing a lot as whole families: grandparents, parents, and children together. They say this is what raises happy children.
Do you think this could be applied to the rest of the world? Could such warmth and coziness create a new kind of upbringing for humanity? Could we adopt this practice?
Answer: Good Danish folks, good Lithuanian folks, calm, measured, unhurried. It’s a character trait.
You can adopt it if you like; maybe it will help some people. It’s good if they can calm themselves this way. At most, they might go to a club, play some bridge, then head home. “Oh! It’s already eight in the evening, time for bed.”
Question: And after that?
Answer: And after that, the same thing. The main thing is not to disrupt the routine.
Comment: But it is said that they raise happy children.
My Response: Of course, they are happy people. The most important thing is the schedule; you stick to the schedule, and that’s it! You know, the most important thing in the army are the regulations. Follow the garrison service regulations, and that’s how you live happily in the Kingdom of Denmark.
Comment: So, you see hygge as a set of rules established by the people over centuries. But I get the sense that you’re speaking somewhat ironically, and for others, this lifestyle may simply be impossible.
My Response: I can’t imagine it. I even think that not everyone in Denmark today is capable of this. But every nation has its own character. Northern peoples have one type, southern peoples another. Africa and Asia are completely different. Take Mexicans and South
Americans: “If we don’t have a carnival, if we’re not firing shots into the air, then what’s the point?!”
Question: From the perspective of Kabbalah, is this really what raising happy children means?
Answer: I don’t know if this is true happiness.
Happiness is when a person has a real goal, one that they can never be disappointed in because it is true, eternal, and perfect, and they move toward it with certainty.
And even though there are always questions, these questions only serve to keep them constantly focused on that goal. Then everything will be fine.
Question: But you’re saying this as a Kabbalist. What about an ordinary person?
Answer: An ordinary person in our time should already know this too.
Question: Isn’t this coziness a goal in itself?
Answer: Nature didn’t make us this way, and it won’t let us stay this way.
Comment: But they’ve remained like this for quite some time.
My Response: That’s their character. I’m not here to criticize or mock anyone, absolutely not. I understand nature.
Nature made us the way we are so that each person, based on their character and their level of egoism, can realize it correctly. The Danes are still in this state for now. If they can maintain it, let them continue. If they can’t, they’ll join the rest of the restless world.
Question: Do you think they won’t be able to maintain this way of life for much longer, especially in our time?
Answer: No, but when they do join the rest of humanity, they won’t do so at the same intensity as everyone else. It’s like in an engine, some parts spin at 100 cycles per minute, while others move only once per minute.
Question: Do you feel closer to a restless, internally uneasy, constantly moving person? Is an egoistical person closer to you than this?
Answer: They can complete their program faster and reach the upper purpose sooner. But the others follow them, and their role is no less important. We are simply created differently, and that’s why we must act accordingly.
Question: So we won’t be able to adopt this?
Answer: No, absolutely not. Everyone must work based on their own nature.
Question: How can a person understand what their nature is?
Answer: They will feel an inner comfort. For some, inner comfort means moving at an enormous speed, while for others, it’s sitting calmly in the car for half an hour before entering the house, preparing for an important meeting with their spouse, who greets them and invites them inside. They greet each other as if they are meeting for the first time.
Comment: Interesting, so everyone has their own path, you’re saying.
My Response: Of course!
Question: What does that depend on?
Answer: Humanity is so diverse so that in our future connection, we can form one single, universal structure called “Man” – Adam.
Question: Will everyone have their own place? Each nation?
Answer: Of course! Some move at high speed, others at a slower pace, just like in our body, where different systems operate at varying rhythms; some are very fast, others slower and slower. You can compare it to fingernails; on hands, they grow about a millimeter per week, while on feet, only a millimeter per month.
Everyone has their own role, even though it seems to be the same tissue and the same body.
Question: Does everyone have the same goal or not?
Answer: The goal is the same for all, but who actually knows this goal? If we knew that we all had the same goal, we would agree with each other. We would start working together to figure out how to reach it.
But instead, we feel like everyone has their own separate goal. Egoism divides us and prevents us from realizing that we should all be moving toward one common purpose.
Question: Can we still reach this? Will we be drawn toward one goal or not?
Answer: I think it must become clear from within.
Question: What is this goal?
Answer: The goal is very simple: to understand the meaning of life.
Question: And what is it?
Answer: The meaning of life is to discover its meaning.
When I grasp the meaning of life, I feel absolutely fulfilled. I know why I exist, I know who guides me, to whom I turn, what I do at every moment of my existence, and where I am headed. New horizons continuously open before me.
I feel like a child who has entered Disneyland. Everything is incredible! Everything is magical! This is how a person should feel when revealing the Creator’s plan.
Question: Does everyone have their own meaning of life?
Answer: They will enjoy it individually because we are all built that way. But their joy will come from constantly connecting with others. The discovery of this spiritual Disneyland happens as we uncover more and more integral connections between us. And these connections will be revealed precisely as an understanding of the upper world. This is a serious adventure.
Question: You’ve now arrived at the idea that a person’s goal is to attain the upper world. What does it mean to attain the upper world?
Answer: It means to grasp the harmony of interaction between absolutely different forces of nature.
You see how all problems, actions, thoughts, and desires—everything across all times—are interconnected in a harmonious way, and how all of it is necessary for each other. The revelation of this harmony is the revelation of the Creator’s plan.
Question: You always talk about revealing harmonious relationships between people, that we are all harmoniously connected. Is that part of it?
Answer: Of course! That is the highest level of this harmony. To discover this harmony is the purpose of a person’s life.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/26/24
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In Kedusha [holiness], however, it is called “Under its shadow I coveted to sit, and its fruit was sweet to my palate.” In other words, he says that all the concealments and afflictions he feels are because the Creator has sent him these states so he would have a place for work above reason (Baal HaSulam, Shamati 8, “What Is the Difference between a Shade of Kedusha and a Shade of Sitra Achra?“).
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