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Question: For 40 years, Denmark has ranked among the happiest countries in the world and it also raises happy children. The Danes follow a principle called Hygge, which means “coziness.” However, they apply this not only to their homes, but also to their relationships with others.

For example, they say: “When you enter a hygge space, you leave your stress and negativity outside the family circle.” This is the key principle, meaning that this is our time together, not just my time with you.

Suppose a parent comes home feeling stressed from work or elsewhere. Before entering, they should take a moment to stand by the door or sit in the car for 10 minutes to shift their state of mind. Only then should they step inside, bringing a sense of hygge, a warm inner comfort.

Everyone gathers in one room for at least a couple of hours and sings. Danes sing a lot as whole families: grandparents, parents, and children together. They say this is what raises happy children.

Do you think this could be applied to the rest of the world? Could such warmth and coziness create a new kind of upbringing for humanity? Could we adopt this practice?

Answer: Good Danish folks, good Lithuanian folks, calm, measured, unhurried. It’s a character trait.

You can adopt it if you like; maybe it will help some people. It’s good if they can calm themselves this way. At most, they might go to a club, play some bridge, then head home. “Oh! It’s already eight in the evening, time for bed.”

Question: And after that?

Answer: And after that, the same thing. The main thing is not to disrupt the routine.

Comment: But it is said that they raise happy children.

My Response: Of course, they are happy people. The most important thing is the schedule; you stick to the schedule, and that’s it! You know, the most important thing in the army are the regulations. Follow the garrison service regulations, and that’s how you live happily in the Kingdom of Denmark.

Comment: So, you see hygge as a set of rules established by the people over centuries. But I get the sense that you’re speaking somewhat ironically, and for others, this lifestyle may simply be impossible.

My Response: I can’t imagine it. I even think that not everyone in Denmark today is capable of this. But every nation has its own character. Northern peoples have one type, southern peoples another. Africa and Asia are completely different. Take Mexicans and South

Americans: “If we don’t have a carnival, if we’re not firing shots into the air, then what’s the point?!”

Question: From the perspective of Kabbalah, is this really what raising happy children means?

Answer: I don’t know if this is true happiness.

Happiness is when a person has a real goal, one that they can never be disappointed in because it is true, eternal, and perfect, and they move toward it with certainty.

And even though there are always questions, these questions only serve to keep them constantly focused on that goal. Then everything will be fine.

Question: But you’re saying this as a Kabbalist. What about an ordinary person?

Answer: An ordinary person in our time should already know this too.

Question: Isn’t this coziness a goal in itself?

Answer: Nature didn’t make us this way, and it won’t let us stay this way.

Comment: But they’ve remained like this for quite some time.

My Response: That’s their character. I’m not here to criticize or mock anyone, absolutely not. I understand nature.

Nature made us the way we are so that each person, based on their character and their level of egoism, can realize it correctly. The Danes are still in this state for now. If they can maintain it, let them continue. If they can’t, they’ll join the rest of the restless world.

Question: Do you think they won’t be able to maintain this way of life for much longer, especially in our time?

Answer: No, but when they do join the rest of humanity, they won’t do so at the same intensity as everyone else. It’s like in an engine, some parts spin at 100 cycles per minute, while others move only once per minute.

Question: Do you feel closer to a restless, internally uneasy, constantly moving person? Is an egoistical person closer to you than this?

Answer: They can complete their program faster and reach the upper purpose sooner. But the others follow them, and their role is no less important. We are simply created differently, and that’s why we must act accordingly.

Question: So we won’t be able to adopt this?

Answer: No, absolutely not. Everyone must work based on their own nature.

Question: How can a person understand what their nature is?

Answer: They will feel an inner comfort. For some, inner comfort means moving at an enormous speed, while for others, it’s sitting calmly in the car for half an hour before entering the house, preparing for an important meeting with their spouse, who greets them and invites them inside. They greet each other as if they are meeting for the first time.

Comment: Interesting, so everyone has their own path, you’re saying.

My Response: Of course!

Question: What does that depend on?

Answer: Humanity is so diverse so that in our future connection, we can form one single, universal structure called “Man” – Adam.

Question: Will everyone have their own place? Each nation?

Answer: Of course! Some move at high speed, others at a slower pace, just like in our body, where different systems operate at varying rhythms; some are very fast, others slower and slower. You can compare it to fingernails; on hands, they grow about a millimeter per week, while on feet, only a millimeter per month.

Everyone has their own role, even though it seems to be the same tissue and the same body.

Question: Does everyone have the same goal or not?

Answer: The goal is the same for all, but who actually knows this goal? If we knew that we all had the same goal, we would agree with each other. We would start working together to figure out how to reach it.

But instead, we feel like everyone has their own separate goal. Egoism divides us and prevents us from realizing that we should all be moving toward one common purpose.

Question: Can we still reach this? Will we be drawn toward one goal or not?

Answer: I think it must become clear from within.

Question: What is this goal?

Answer: The goal is very simple: to understand the meaning of life.

Question: And what is it?

Answer: The meaning of life is to discover its meaning.

When I grasp the meaning of life, I feel absolutely fulfilled. I know why I exist, I know who guides me, to whom I turn, what I do at every moment of my existence, and where I am headed. New horizons continuously open before me.

I feel like a child who has entered Disneyland. Everything is incredible! Everything is magical! This is how a person should feel when revealing the Creator’s plan.

Question: Does everyone have their own meaning of life?

Answer: They will enjoy it individually because we are all built that way. But their joy will come from constantly connecting with others. The discovery of this spiritual Disneyland happens as we uncover more and more integral connections between us. And these connections will be revealed precisely as an understanding of the upper world. This is a serious adventure.

Question: You’ve now arrived at the idea that a person’s goal is to attain the upper world. What does it mean to attain the upper world?

Answer: It means to grasp the harmony of interaction between absolutely different forces of nature.

You see how all problems, actions, thoughts, and desires—everything across all times—are interconnected in a harmonious way, and how all of it is necessary for each other. The revelation of this harmony is the revelation of the Creator’s plan.

Question: You always talk about revealing harmonious relationships between people, that we are all harmoniously connected. Is that part of it?

Answer: Of course! That is the highest level of this harmony. To discover this harmony is the purpose of a person’s life.
[260665]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/26/24

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Question: Can you share your experience of how you hold on to the goal?

Answer: Frankly speaking, I do not even know myself. It is unknown.

On the one hand, the ways of the Lord are inscrutable. On the other hand, I remember myself as a little boy, six to seven years old, constantly asking myself: “Why is this world a game? Why must one exist in it? What goal stands behind this whole spectacle?”

I always saw this world as if it were playing out on a screen behind which some kind of mechanism was specifically showing it to me. And what does it want from me? This sense of duality in the picture of the world and the idea that some hidden purpose exists behind it has never left me and has been absolutely clear to me since childhood.

Throughout all the years of my life, I have seen this from the outside. Even as a boy playing with others, and later during my student years, I understood that, out of inevitability, I had to act just like everyone else.

So if I were to say exactly what drives me forward, it is certainly not me.

But on the other hand, I constantly put myself within such constraints that I have no other options. I am afraid! There was a time when I was pulled away from my spiritual search for exactly one year, to the day.

Question: What do you mean by pulled away? Do you mean you stopped studying altogether?

Answer: No, I continued studying, but very little, automatically, and not in the way I should have.

Suddenly I was given an enormous desire to engage in a big business venture in order to later create a large system for spreading Kabbalah. And in this way I was led astray.

I devoted exactly one year to this, and although I never completely stopped studying Kabbalah, it was very little. I felt how completely it tore me away and could even immerse me in this world, something that had almost never happened in my life, except perhaps for a brief period after university when I wanted to pursue a scientific career.

That is, I clearly felt that if not for a force from above, it would be very easy to remove me from the path and turn me into an ordinary mammal.

Question: How do you establish boundaries for your spiritual work? What sustains them?

Answer: Through obligations. My entire schedule is planned by the hour.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. Purpose as a Way of Life” 6/24/10

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Question: You once said: “Unless you are disconnected from above,” which has happened to many Kabbalists when, at a certain moment, they were disconnected from spirituality against their will.

Answer: The upper force can do absolutely anything! We are, after all, set in motion within this grand machine. We exist within it.

However, we have been given the ability to rise above our existence in this machine and become aware that we are inside it, live in it, operate within it, are set in motion according to a specific plan, and are executing a specific program. In other words, we can develop an understanding that we are governed by the upper force, and through this understanding we can attain the governor, justify Him, learn everything about Him, and become like Him.

At the same time we will always be executing exactly what He triggers within us. We are constantly under His commands.

However, the goal is to reveal His governance over us, to recognize it as good, just, true, infinitely harmonious, and perfect, and to adhere to Him precisely through attaining this governance. In doing so, we rise to the level of the Governor, to the level of the Creator; we attain, understand, and become like Him. It is as if we begin to launch our own program and implement ourselves.

In essence, we never oppose Him in any way. We simply come to realize that His way is absolute perfection and follow it without any coercion. It turns out that at the highest level of attainment, even if there were no commands from Him, we would act in exactly the same way. In a sense, we replace the Creator.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. To Exist in Attainment” 6/27/10

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Question: How realistic is the idea of a spiritual system in practice?

Answer: The fact is that there is nothing else beside it. It is the only true creation that exists. It only seems to us that we are separate elements disconnected from one another, like the swan, the crayfish, and the pike that pull in different directions.

This is intentional so that we can reveal unity, integration, perfection, and harmony precisely through this opposition. These “swan, crayfish, and pike” must find mutual understanding despite their differences—one soars in the sky, another lives in the water, and the third moves on land. When we understand that despite our varying natures we must unite toward a single goal, to complement each other, only then will each of us find our own perfection.

Question: But what if everyone tries to create their own system?

Answer: It is a natural human tendency to establish oneself, and this drive exists in everyone. However, as we progress the upper light will influence us more and more. It will correct us and place the greatness of the Creator and the revelation of His system above our personal ambitions.

Moreover, it will elevate the importance of all other people in the world above ourselves by developing love for them within us. When you love, the one you love becomes more important to you than yourself, just as a child is to their mother. This is what defines the nature of love.

That is why we cannot demand that beginners be completely selfless and altruistic. Gradually, the light will correct them and give them that capability.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. Implementation of the System” 6/21/10

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Comment: True wisdom is simple and is directed at each of us. From the depths of time, profound thoughts come to us that have no expiration date. They are still relevant today.
Please comment on some of them.

“If I am not for myself, who is for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?”

My Response: A person must act. “If I am not for myself,” I need to know how to correct myself to be a helpful element of the world, and no one will do it for me. I must do this.

If I am not fulfilling my purpose for everyone, then who am I? If I do not do it now, when I have the opportunity, when will I be able to do it? No one knows what will happen after this moment.

All this calls for the correct, immediate fulfillment of one’s purpose.

Question: Which is?

Answer: To correct oneself, and thus correct the world through oneself. Because through every corrected element of our world, an upper, correcting force flows and is distributed throughout the world.

Question: What constitutes the correction?

Answer: The elements start to connect through me.

Question: Meaning I am the reason for connecting others?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: “Anyone who feels confident in this world is a stranger in heaven. And vice versa.”

My Response: Certainly. The fact is that egoism separates you from the world. You do not contribute anything to the world; on the contrary, you steal from it because you are an element of this world.

Therefore if you feel confident because you are an egoist (egoists feel self-confident), then you cannot bring the upper, correct, spiritual energy into this world to unite it. Conversely, if you feel that you are at the mercy of the upper force, you can transmit it into this world.

Question: So a person should feel insecure? And not be confident?

Answer: Yes. The only certainty should be that you are applying yourself to the upper force.

What can one be confident about? That is stupidity. How can you be self-confident if you do not know what will happen to you in the next moment, who you will become, and in general, what your actions will be? Nothing! It is just childish.

Comment: Nevertheless, the Internet is full of those who teach you how to be self-confident and how to live.

My Response: It is natural because everyone needs it. But no one has it, so everyone tries teaching each other.

Question: Does a person really feel confident only when he reaches out to the upper force and depends on it?

Answer: Yes, when a person is connected to the upper force, he has complete confidence because he sees what it all depends on, and he is at peace. Anyway, he will do whatever the upper force wants to do to him. He does it anyway, but now it will be done consciously.

Comment: “The one who publicly makes another turn pale with shame has no share in the world to come.”

My Response: Yes. It is very important to make yourself smaller than everyone else because this way you can channel the upper energy and upper force through yourself to them.

Comment: If a simple person hears this and asks, “How can I put myself below another?!” It is against human nature.

My Response: Precisely because it is against nature. There is nothing else here. The correction cannot happen any other way.

Comment: Even logically, I can only hear another if I become smaller than him, not bigger.

My Response: Of course! That is so in any case.

When I go out to the students every morning, do I not put myself below them? Am I not doing everything so they can learn, grow smarter and understand, unite, and get closer to the Creator?

Question: So when you go out to the students, must you lower yourself before them?

Answer: Of course! I am like a waiter: I bring and serve.

Comment: Ready to serve, as they say.

My Response: Yes. I do not feel above them. If I show such a state, it is only to give them an opportunity to somehow perk up and understand what they are dealing with.

Comment: There are methods, theories, and spiritual practices where the teacher ties students to himself. That is, where he is clearly above them.

My Response: Never in Kabbalah. Absolutely not! At any moment, a person should feel he can safely leave. Without saying goodbye! Just get up and leave. And how do they part? You see, it happens quietly.

Comment: Indeed. In an instant one is gone.

My Response: Sometimes they come back. There are those who come back. I do not treat them any differently. You see that.

Comment: I see, yes. A person walks in, sits down, you look at him and keep going. There is none of: “Oh! He is back!”

My Response: What for? It is none of my business. My job is to serve. Like in a restaurant: the customers come, and I am the waiter.

Comment: Setting the table.

My Response: Right. Absolutely so.

Comment: “Evil speech kills three people: the one who speaks, the one who believes the speaker, and the one spoken of.” It is written in the Talmud.

My Response: Yes, because in fact there is no one other than man except the Creator. Therefore if you speak ill of someone other than yourself, it absolutely clearly and unequivocally refers to the Creator.

Question: Does it mean slander is to speak poorly about the Creator?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: Even though you are cursing out someone else.

My Response: It does not matter. If it is work or home related, it is not considered slander. We are talking about ideological, internal, spiritual slander. This is what you cannot allow!

Comment: “Love those who rebuke and hate those who praise, for the former will lead you to life in the world to come, while the latter will destroy you.”

My Response: That is right! Absolutely correct. A person should be paying those who beat him or scold him. And conversely, he should distance himself from or scold those who praise him.

Comment: But it is almost impossible.

My Response: If a person aims himself correctly at restriction and screen, this is exactly what he does.

Question: That is, if one is aimed at the Creator, then he thanks the one who rebukes him?

Answer: We do not really thank each other like that in life. But at the same time, a person experiences great help from the Creator in hearing anti-praises through someone.

Question: Even in Shamati (“I Heard”) it is written that it is good for a Kabbalist to be humiliated. Is it not masochistic to feel good when humiliated?

Answer: No, one does not enjoy it. He enjoys the fact that with the help of such seeming humiliation he can bring himself closer to the Creator. It is a great help when egoism is belittled. But usually a completely different picture is shown on the outside.

That is, if he is a real Kabbalist, he may be indignant and object.

Question: Be angry, but internally grateful?

Answer: Of course.

Comment: “When your enemy is rattled, do not rejoice, and when he stumbles, do not let your heart cheer.”

My Response: The fact is that you must think of the general correction, so this is exactly the right attitude.

Question: When an enemy falls, do not rejoice?

Answer: No. After all, he acted this way to bring you closer to correction. So do not be happy about his failures. On the contrary, the more strength he has and the more pressure he puts on you, the better off you will be.

Question: “To fear sin is to be afraid to sin, not of punishment.” What does it mean? Should we be afraid of punishment, or should we be afraid of sin?

Answer: One should be afraid of an action called sin, not punishment for that action because otherwise you are afraid of being punished. If there were no punishment, would you do it or not?

Comment: This is very deep.

My Response: Therefore it is the action you must fear.

Question: While a person is mostly afraid of punishment?

Answer: Of course. If I wouldn’t get caught…

Question: I would take everything. Meaning I would steal if not for getting caught?

Answer: Of course I would steal.

Comment: If man knew there would be no consequence, there would be total chaos.

My Response: The Creator’s governance still keeps us within a certain framework until we choose our path voluntarily.

Comment: The famous saying of King Solomon: “What has been, will be. What happened will happen; there is nothing new under the sun.”

My Response: Yes, and everything goes back to normal because all this is just one pure universal egoism that is constantly undergoing stages after stages of its correction. Cycles.

Question: What is in it for a person? He says, “What has been, will be. What happened will happen, and there is nothing new under the sun.”

Answer: This means there are no new laws. Of course there are new actions. Circumstances are changing, the Earth is changing, everything is changing; but it all follows the same laws, and flows in the same direction.

Question: Is King Solomon saying there is actually one law?

Answer: One, to bring egoism to absolute bestowal.

Question: Does this mean for a person to become a giver and a lover? Is this the purpose of life, and is this where everything is headed?

Answer: Yes, above one’s ego, precisely because of it.
[258487]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/28/19

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Hence, when receiving the concealments and afflictions, he is certain to take the known cure—to do much praying for the Creator to help him out of the state he is in (Baal HaSulam, Shamati 8, “What Is the Difference between a Shade of Kedusha and a Shade of Sitra Achra?”).

Question: In this phrase, there seems to be some egoistic component, as if a person is asking, “It hurts, take me out of this state.” What should a prayer be like?

Answer: Why do you think that our appeal to the Creator must be absolutely altruistic?

We begin our path as complete egoists. But gradually, we purify ourselves from egoism and direct ourselves toward the Creator so that our requests become more altruistic, on behalf of others, for all people.

Therefore, we should not think that the most important thing for us is to stop worrying about others. On the contrary.
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From Daily Kabbalah lesson 3/7/24, Writings of Baal HaSulam “What Is the Difference between a Shade of Kedusha and a Shade of Sitra Achra?”

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Preparation to the Lesson

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1st part of the Lesson — Writings of Baal HaSulam, “Inheritance of the Land”

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2nd part of the Lesson — Writings of Baal HaSulam, “Study of the Ten Sefirot,” Vol. 1, Part 2, “Inner Observation,” Chapter 1, Item 1

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Selected Highlights

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