Answer: This is also praiseworthy. Every person can show signs of weakness, “I probably don’t have the strength. It seems like it’s not for me, but for strong-willed people.” But eventually everyone understands that there is no weaker person than himself and there is no more successful person than himself.
Question: What did you feel when you had just begun your spiritual path, and when you progressed along the path?
Answer: When I began, I was absolutely sure that I would tear everything to pieces and attain the goal! Then, there were short periods, but many, when I felt total despair.
I remember going with my teacher to Tiberias. He slept at night while I sat on the balcony every night looking at the lake, listening to crickets and smoking entire packs of cigarettes. I felt that I was incapable of anything and that nothing would become of me.
These are terrible states—absolute physical, moral, and spiritual weakness. However, everyone goes through this, even if he is with a teacher or in a group. You cannot escape this. However, each of us should have the support of the group. We need the group. It works for me and I work for it, and so we help one another.
Question: Have you ever felt like throwing everything away and leaving?
Answer: Never. Once, when I was in Canada, I was taken to different places and shown places where I was offered a house to buy with a private lake and a forest nearby. I could do it and, as I was told, could live in peace, without thinking about anything.
However, never for a moment did the thought of accepting to leave cross my mind. I understood that the Creator was only playing with me, and, so, I pretended to agree, but never thought of leaving the spiritual path.
In such cases, you must let go and wait, and engage in some daily work, write something and process material. When I feel that I have no more power, I take an article by Baal HaSulam or Rabash and begin to edit it and rewrite it. It is pointless to copy it since you will only ruin everything, but, at the same time, you digest it internally. I think this kind of work is very beneficial.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 2/12/14