Question: Alexey writes: “It seems like we used to live in perfect harmony, and suddenly everything was over. We live separately, we try not to run into each other in the hallway or kitchen. We already understand that all conversations boil down to war. We met in Kyiv and got married in Omsk. We have constant accusations and war in our house. I don’t know what to do.”

How can we set up this household unit?

Answer: They must live for the future, not separating from each other, but creating something together in common—a family. There is no escape from this.

Question: And when eyes are covered with resentment and hatred, how can we come to the fact that we have a future?

Answer: Even in the case when a person who is in front of you is against you, you need to help each other to become friends, to be loving.

Question: They say that they lived in perfect harmony. How can they return to it, soul to soul? What does your constant offer mean to them: “Love will cover all transgressions”?

Answer: It means that they can raise themselves to the next level of existence. Because by overcoming hostility, even hatred, they strive for mutual connection and even love. And in this love they perceive the Creator because He is common to them.

There is nothing else left in common. And therefore, through such an action they can reveal Him, that is, a special property, a special feeling, the center of the world.

Question: Are you saying that this property, the Creator, must manifest itself between them?

Answer: I think that it must manifest itself because it comes precisely for this purpose from above.

Question: And their division and hatred comes from above?

Answer: Separation and hatred come so that they try to connect with each other and find in themselves everything “against” and then everything “for.” And when they collect these fragments inside them, they will suddenly feel how they put together such an interesting puzzle that they will discover a single force, a single property, a single matter of nature.

Question: And then will this connection between them become real?

Answer: Yes. And besides, they will discover a new life in this connection, a life already spiritual.

Question: So you are saying that this separation has been deliberately imposed on them?

Answer: Of course.

Question: That is, it was induced because they were already capable of connection?

Answer: That is why it all happens in our generation. And if they could not come to a mutual connection, then there would be no such thing. This is precisely because we in our generation can do it.

I wish them to rise above their egoism, which blinds them, and to understand that in fact it is the Creator who pushes them toward love.

These are already the beginnings of the next state of humanity when people will discover the absolute inconsistency in the previous level, as different in all respects. And now at this stage, they must unite.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/10/22

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Question: The Talmud says that the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved. Why is she created as if from the middle?

Answer: Because the female part is created from the middle of the spiritual system Zeir Anpin, which represents the male part. But this does not mean that she is a consequence or an unnecessary appendix-type addition in relation to the male system.

On the contrary. Coming from the male part, she really grows up to his level. The Talmud speaks about this based on Kabbalah, from the knowledge of the inner part of nature. This is how our souls develop; first the male part of the soul, and then the female part. It has nothing to do with our bodies.

But from the examples of our world, we see that, on one hand, a woman, according to her nature, is in need of support, attention, and guardianship by a man. On the other hand, thanks to this care and attention, she grows to a level equal to him.

Then she can give him something that he himself will never achieve.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up, Siamese Twins” 9/19/10

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Question: Should people who are looking for a spouse match each other mentally?

Answer: It is desirable that they are from the same society, the same circle, that they understand each other mentally and emotionally, have similar habits, and their parents have the same ideology; otherwise, it is very difficult.

In nature, everything strives for similarity, for balance. If you take a person from Asia, and another from Chukotka or North America, it is very difficult for them to interact and to have mutual understanding so they can connect and represent one whole.

Therefore, nature creates everything in pairs and on rapprochement between people. I advise that similar aspire for similar.

Comment: Often a woman thinks that if she marries an Englishman, for example, her life will change for the better.

My Response: She will not appreciate him. I have many such examples. She will live in her shell and he will live in his. Maybe there will be normal relations between them, but purely externally; there will be no internal contact.

If we are talking about a couple, then a person must still feel the other directly. When you create any mechanism, you think about how its parts will adapt to each other, accept, perceive, and continue one another.

Comment: But there are some couples that do become closer to each other.

My Response: It happens, but it is an exception. It is better to choose a spouse of the same mentality, from the same land, with the same upbringing and understanding.

Over time, all this will go through the general correction, will be melted down, and real spiritual individuals will come out of all of us. I think that we will see something like that even in this generation.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. How to choose a pair for yourself” 4/12/14

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Question: What kind of power does a woman give to a man?

Answer: A woman develops what she receives from a man and creates a new generation. Meaning, she develops not herself and not him, but the next generation, in relation to which she appears as a creator.

In the upper world, the soul is born from the female part, Bina. In our world, the next generation, both male and female individuals are born from the mother. In this respect, a woman performs the function of the Creator.

The function of a man is to determine how and what will be born from her. This symbiosis of the two parts is so interconnected that it is sometimes very difficult to separate their mutual functions. But the interdependence is just amazing!

A woman should be equal with a man: mentally, spiritually. At every level, they should interact equally, and only in this way will they be able to produce the next normal generation, both material and spiritual.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Siamese Twins” 9/19/10

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Question: Is the correct realization of the interaction of male and female parts the revelation of the thought of creation? Do they reveal this thought by connecting with each other?

Answer: Not by just connecting. After all, if the male and female parts in each of us and between us are connected correctly, then the Creator is revealed between them. It is written: “Husband and wife, the Creator between them.” Otherwise, it is impossible to invoke the presence of the Creator.

There is a female and a male part in each of us, and a person can even reach the revelation of the Creator alone, without the physical female part. However, he must develop these two opposite parts in himself. This is what the wisdom of Kabbalah says.

This power within which we exist reveals the Creator to a person, how it works around us and together with us to bring us closer to attaining it.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Siamese Twins” 9/19/10

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Question: Why is there always a sense that a man is looking for a mother in a woman?

Answer: Because he always remains a child. Even if he develops industry, technology, science, art, and so on, he is always guided by his fantasy, which is like a child’s fantasy. Men even become better chefs and cooks than women. And this is how it is with everything. Precisely due to the fact that man remains a child.

There is no reproductive function in a man. He does not give birth to the next degree, which represents a new generation in our world or a spiritual degree in the upper world. To do this, he needs a female part. Only through her can he realize himself.

A woman takes semen from him, either his spiritual or his biological part, and develops it.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Siamese Twins” 9/19/10

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Question: Who is more egoistic: the nations of the world or the people of Israel?

Answer: Today it is the people of Israel because it is revealed in them first of all, and at the end in the nations of the world.

Egoism is revealed to the extent that it is possible to correct it. The strongest egoism is found in the nations of the world.

Question: So is egoism more in the female part than in the male?

Answer: Naturally. We see that men are dreamers, they need a game, football, travel. A woman needs something stable: a house, children, and taking care of them. A man, even if he does this, it is only for the sake of playing, competing. He is in the air like a child.

A woman is more down to earth, and therefore development, birth, and progress are impossible without her. Although the power of progress is brought by a man, it is carried out precisely by the female part.
[295757]
From KabTV’s “Close-up. Reincarnation” 5/3/10

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Question: If we look at the history of humanity’s development, we can distinguish two main models of the family: the Eastern one, in which a man predominates, and the Western where a man has somewhat lost his role and, in principle, a woman is in charge. Which model is the most correct from the point of view of Kabbalah?

Answer: Neither of them. Indeed, there are two models, and the Kabbalistic model is in the middle between them. This division is also typical for the compilation of calendars: the Western model is a solar calendar, the Eastern one is a lunar calendar, and the Jewish calendar is a middle one based on the correlation of the sun and the moon.

The same applies not only to calendar dates, but also to forces, worldviews, approaches to life, science, art, to all kinds of prosecution and preventive measures in society, and so on. Everything is based on the middle line.

That is, there is no good and bad. There are opposite qualities that need to be assembled together, correctly combined, and upon their connection, we will acquire perfection. Only in this way will we be able to correctly use all the forces in nature without denying either the female or the male part. We just need to find a golden balance between them.
[296195]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Siamese Twins” 11/7/10

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Question: Which family model is closer to the spiritual roots: Eastern or Western?

Answer: The model closer to the spiritual roots is when the man is in charge outside and the woman inside. And we see it. The woman is responsible for taking care of the house, she is the hostess. The man, in principle, is not.

Comment: But he is trying to limit the woman.

My Response: No, in a good family the man does not do that. I have observed it in both Eastern and Western families. In the end, nature anyway leads people to look for compromise. And indeed, where the woman works, she commands.

The man does not even interfere because he is not created for that. And vice versa, when we are talking about strictly man’s duties—going out of the house to hunt or to work, going after a mammoth or after money, it does not matter what, that is, everything concerning outside the house—the woman gives him  greater freedom there.
[296237]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Siamese Twins” 9/19/10

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Question: Has there ever been a family model in which men and women were equal partners?

Answer: Men and women can be equal partners either in a primitive society where they clearly know their duties, are close to nature, and perform naturally what is given to them by nature.

Or when they, having gone through all the furnace of hell that we went through in our history, reach complete disappointment in what we have done in this world, in the family, with ourselves, with children, and come to the conclusion that we still need to learn from nature how to create a society, family, and the relationship between children and parents based on it.

And then we will need Kabbalah, that explains how to create the right communication in the family, in society, and in the world.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Siamese Twins” 9/19/10

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