Question: Is there a spiritual root for this phenomenon that a man feels more confident if a woman helps him?
Answer: I think that it is a necessary element of life. Moreover, I am saying this based on my own experience and from what I felt in my life, in my profession, and in the support my spouse gives me. If not for her, I would hardly have been able to endure much of what I have endured. I had tremendous physical, mental, and spiritual trauma, loss, and difficulty.
A wife in this regard is the kind of support without which it would be very difficult for a man. She replaces his mother. The fact is that a man does not give birth and does not enter that different phase like a woman who from a girl becomes a woman, a mother. A man does not have this transition. Therefore, he constantly needs female support just like a child needs his mother’s support. We understand these interactions.
When a man is engaged in such serious work as politics, science in general, daring work requiring a huge return of internal energy, physical and mental matter, then he needs psychological support even more than physiological.
And, of course, the spouse who helps him without interfering in anything but gives a feeling of support, this is internally necessary for the man. This has a high spiritual root.
At our root we are a single being where the masculine and feminine are intertwined. And it is from this common root that I must draw strength. But I can feel them better if I feel a devoted woman next to me who helps, supports, listens to me, and gives me attention. This is very important. And therefore, it is a law for a Kabbalist, he cannot be single.
Moreover, I have not seen this being an indispensable condition in any other practice. In Kabbalah a bachelor cannot advance spiritually. This spiritual root is so deep that a Kabbalist must be married.
It is not just having a home and being attended to but having a woman who performs internal, mental, and functional duties called “a wife.” This is the definition, the category, the image. This is a very difficult thing. I can see from my students how much it influences them.
From KabTV’s “Close-Up—Two-Headed Eagle” 1/1/10