Question: In practice we see that in a married couple one manages one process and the second one another. How is equality between husband and wife achieved?

Answer: It is impossible to measure. It is just that everyone wants to please the other. Therefore, there are no calculations here of how much I did for you and how much you did for me. You will never reach a real connection in this way.

You should be guided by feelings and not by rational calculation: “You for me, and I for you.”

Question: Does it mean that until we come to the correction of our qualities in spirituality we will not be able to come to the correct corporeal relationship between husband and wife?

Answer: On the contrary, first, you need to correct your qualities in corporeality and then move to spirituality.
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From the Daily Kabbalah lesson 11/19/23, Writings of Rabash “Discernments in States“

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Question: If the covenant of salt is the covenant of our hearts, do we need to describe some points of this covenant or will they play no role?

Answer: They will not play any role. Here everything depends on the purity of the heart and thoughts. This is the most important thing.

People who study in our groups, if they are also spouses, have a lot of help from above from the Creator. They can really achieve a lot if they mutually help each other in spiritual matters.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/15/23, Writings of Baal HaSulam “On All Your Offerings You Shall Offer Salt“

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Question: If the Creator gives a man and a woman connection through the heart, then is each one ready to do anything for the other?

Answer: I do not know how ready they are for everything, but if they are coming toward each other to be together and each one does what his partner wants from him, then they form a common desire in which the Creator is revealed.

Question: But the Creator also gives them this desire?

Answer: No, they must create this desire themselves. Each of them has their own desire, so they need to connect with each other to have one desire for both of them in which they do not feel any difference.

This should be such a fusion, a striving for each other when there is nothing else left but a feeling of unity.
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From the Daily Kabbalah lesson 11/19/23, Writings of Rabash “Discernments in States“

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Question: Usually in women’s unification the evil spirit clearly manifests itself when emotions, especially negative ones, begin to simmer between us. How can we properly process these emotions so that they serve the good inclination?

Answer: Think only good about your friends, and everything will be fine. And let all the negative emotions be directed against your enemies. This is how it should be.

Comment: We feel the separate desires of our friends not at the same time, but as if in turn, and we do not succeed in coming to a single heart.

My Response: This is a real problem. Think about how you can come to one common desire, intention, and goal so that you have it all as one. And then you will win.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/13/23, “Fighting the evil inclination”

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Question: What is this inner human need a person has for someone else to live next to him? It is not just the satisfaction of some material needs, for example, food or laundry. What is there in this that a person may not notice?

Answer: We are created like this. In principle, nature had some kind of purpose, in which both the male and female parts of man existed together. Then this purpose became split into separate parts: male and female. Therefore, we still need the female part because it cannot be together with the male in the same body. That is the way we exist. Not only we, but also inanimate, vegetative, and animate nature are built on the same principle.

Question: In Kabbalah, we study that a man must necessarily have a female part next to him. Previously, Kabbalists did not allow a man to study at all if he was not married. Why were there such restrictions?

Answer: If a man is not married, then, according to Kabbalah, he is considered an incomplete person. That is, he has no expression through the female part, through the female side. A woman cannot help him in his spiritual advancement.

And it is all the more important for a woman to have a man because without a man she cannot advance spiritually.

In principle, we can say that they are in the same condition: they are necessary for each other precisely for spiritual advancement, so that by yielding to and understanding each other, they could correct themselves.
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From KabTV’s “Kabbalah in the modern turbulent world” 8/3/23

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Comment: This is story from the Internet.

One evening, Winston Churchill and his wife decided to take a walk around London. When they were passing through one of the cozy courtyards, a janitor approached them. To the surprise of the Prime Minister, the janitor spoke not to him but to the First Lady.

After this conversation, Churchill asked his wife: “Why did he talk to you with such interest?” She replied that in her teenage years, he was madly in love with her. Prime Minister Churchill said, “See, if you had married him, you would now be the wife of a janitor.” Churchill’s wife replied: “No, if I had married him, he would have become Prime minister.”

Here we have this eternal question: who makes whom? As they say, there is a woman behind every successful man. Is there a spiritual root in this or not?

My Response: In most cases.

Question: Does it mean that in most cases I cannot develop by myself and my wife has to push me all the time?

Answer: It means a lot. A man without female support is like a bush or a tree in the wind.

Question: Why is this so?

Answer: Although she cannot do anything, when she puts pressure on him, she supports him.

Question: But she does not tell him: “You will be Prime Minister. I want you to become Prime Minister.” Or does she say it internally?

Answer: She can say it. But this is what he needs.

Question: So, do we need nudges all the time?

Answer: Yes. Without a strong woman next to a man, a man is powerless.

Question: Is there some spiritual root in this?

Answer: Of course! Because together they make one common whole.

This female part, the desire to receive is what forces a man to work correctly.

Question: Is the inner female thought so that women do not take offense: “You have to fulfill me”?

Answer: Yes.

Question: You can fulfill me with your power, and so on and so forth? |And she pushes him?

Answer: Of course. You see Churchill agreed.

Question: Not only Churchill, we see in history what happened. Behind each one stood some fragile, even quiet woman. Did Sarah move Abraham in the same way? Or was there some different situation?

Answer: The Creator said to Abraham: “Listen to what Sarah says to you.” So, apparently, it was even tougher there.

Question: How should we men behave in this case? Surrender or resist? Or, on the contrary, am I guided by a woman? What should a family tango be like in this case if we know that this is happening?

Answer: There should be mutual support. A husband should provide for his wife financially, a wife should support her husband spiritually.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 6/12/23

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Question: Are there any restrictions in mixing the souls, i.e., in spiritual mixture? We often talk about mutual integration when one person accepts the desires of the other. But on the corporeal level, everything is kind of determined: here I am, here are my wife and children.

Answer: This comes from the fact that the husband, wife, and their children are one spiritual cell. It is just that in our world it was divided into a male part and a female part, but in the spiritual world it is one Partzuf, Aviut (thickness), and Zakut (purity, subtlety), desire, and Masach (screen), which work together.

Therefore, in spirituality, there are no separately existing female and male parts. Their joint work generates the next state called children.

Therefore, in our world, we are arranged in such a way that we are grouped into families. In the spiritual state, there can be no confusion with husbands and wives, and everyone will find their other half.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Promiscuous Sex” 5/14/11

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Question: What is a “woman” in spirituality? What is a woman in your understanding?

Answer: This is the most difficult question because a woman is a mysterious part of the universe, Malchut, meaning desire, which is the only thing that was created by the Creator. In our world, the personification of the Creator is a man, and a woman is a representation of creation, of the created being.

Basically, if we are talking about man and woman, we mean two parts of a person created by the Creator. Both parts complement each other and only together can come to correction.

The female part is more passive and is inclined to fulfillment, reception, to being approached as a companion, because she helps and accompanies correction. Indeed, women resist the process that humanity must go through less.

A man represents the part of creation that needs to be corrected first. He actively corrects himself (if he is engaged in it, of course), and therefore it is more difficult for him. He needs women’s support. He does not agree that he needs correction as a woman does. In this respect, he is disobedient to the Creator, that is, to the force of nature that shows him that it is necessary to move toward the goal.

This confrontation with the Creator is impossible for a man without a woman’s help.

A woman is a great helper in terms of correction. She gives strength and support and provides security. She was created in such a way that without her a man is not able to correct himself. But the main correction is on him.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. A Woman” 1/23/11

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Comment: Earlier you emphasized that only men can be engaged in connection. And now it is becoming the same for both men and women.

My Response: Yes, women are coming forward and starting to take an increasingly active part in all spheres of life.

Previously, a woman gave birth, cooked, cleaned, and served everyone and everything. And although she was treated with great respect, there was no question of any spiritual work. Even in prayer houses there was no place for them. This was introduced only 100 to 200 years ago.

And today everything is on equal footing. The world is moving toward the fact that women in all societies are becoming equal. And it is not just because we are so good but because this is the movement toward a global correction. There is no doubt that the female part is becoming more and more effective and necessary in our common work.

Therefore, I pay a lot of attention to them. These are serious desires, serious forces, and pressure on all men and the whole world.

Was it possible 200 years ago that a woman would become involved in politics? And today there are a lot of women in top positions in countries.

So, this is a global trend, because the world is growing. Egoism comes forward. A woman represents egoism, the desire to receive. Therefore, she is becoming more demanding and more independent.

There is a lot to respect women for. They are very consistent, very serious, and very meticulous. There is a certain limitation in their corrections, but this is not their limitation but the distribution of nature into two parts.

Therefore I regard women’s connection as a very big and serious matter.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Women’s Congress” 1/9/13

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The male and female parts of the group are two mutually opposite forces that must act in a certain harmony and connection.

When they have one goal, they can really achieve a lot. Without the development of a female stabilization system, a man will rush forward and only tear everything apart, just as it happens in our world.

The male part or man can move forward correctly and receive help from above only when he has a special, developed stabilizing part that holds him back, and gives his striving forward the right direction, the right pace of development.

A man must understand that he cannot develop alone, he needs a stabilizing female part, and in order to move forward together, he rushes forward, and now he is alone.

The female part must know that she is doing everything to stabilize this common part, but not to prevent a man from moving forward, but rather to be ready to be for him, to really be the part that supports and protects him, like a mother of a little son.

In some ways such a relationship remains for life: the wife is a little to the side of a mother, and the husband in the aspect of a little son.

Question: What is the ideal combination of female support for a person who follows the path of Kabbalah?

Answer: The ideal combination of female support is when a wife studies with her husband, understands his occupation, his movements, aspirations, his flare-ups, falls, weaknesses, strengths, and his peculiarities thanks to which he can develop spiritually, and her exclusivity in supporting him, to prevent him from going beyond the boundaries of the correct “path” along which he must move toward the goal.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Women’s Friendship” 10/27/12

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