Prophets, Joshua, 17:3-17:4: But Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, had no sons, but daughters; and these are the names of his daughter: Mahlah, and Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.

And they came near before Eleazar the priest, and before Joshua the son of Nun, and before the princes, saying, “The Lord commanded Moses to give us an inheritance among our brothers.” According to the commandment of the Lord, he gave them an inheritance among the brothers of their father.

A daughter is the will to receive without an intention to bestow, which so far has no personal correction.

There are such desires in a person for which he cannot acquire the correct intention. Yet, since these desires exist, he wants to reach their correction. But how? He does not have such capabilities.

Man symbolizes the intention for the sake of the Creator, and woman is the desire without intention. Therefore, desire plus the correct intention can give birth to a correct action called a child, children. Therefore, a woman cannot do anything by herself.

However, since they have accurately checked and made sure that they do not have any suitable desires, this leads to the fact that they seemingly complain to the Creator, “Why are desires created in us without the opportunity to correct them?”

Question: Still, inheritance was given to daughters. Why?

Answer: Because the most important thing is the earth, the female part. The male part gives only intention to the female desire. Therefore, female desire cannot be destroyed. You must find a suitable intention for it. Thus, we see that this problem is not resolved yet. The Creator did not provide people with capabilities to correct, and yet, correction must happen.

Question: Why does the Torah always speak about sons being born and not daughters?

Answer: Because the most important thing is the intention. The desire is there, but the intention is given by the Creator from above.

Question: When the intention to bestow appears, it means that a son is born. Is a daughter born in parallel or together with this desire?

Answer: In the original narrations of the Torah (Bible), it is said that male and female are almost always born together. Then we see that each time there are more and more confusing states because we are constantly advancing.

As the correction progresses, problems and inconsistencies arise between the male and female parts. Thus, we must search for the male and then the female part.
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From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 8/9/21

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My new article on Linkedin “The Vicious Circle of Domestic Violence”

Domestic violence is widespread and seemingly unstoppable. In America, one in four women will experience violence by their partners within their lifetime, according to a new report published by The New England Journal of Medicine. The U.S. nationwide media attention on the killing of a young woman, Gabby Petito, in Wyoming, in which her partner was named a person of interest, put the issue of abusive relationships in the spotlight again. Crimes could be prevented through the right education from an early age.

Unfortunately, this is just one of many cases reported worldwide every day amidst too many that go unregistered. Globally, around one in three—a staggering 736 million women—have been victims of violence in their life perpetrated by their boyfriends or husbands, based on UN statistics.

Humiliation, teasing, bullying, threats and cursing, are common forms of verbal abuse within the family. Emotional violence takes quiet forms as well: disconnection, thunderous silences, and disregard for extended periods. There are many shades and expressions of violent communication between couples, and when these become a recurrent situation at home, it usually has dire consequences. How can this phenomenon be dealt with?

Let’s start with the schools. Most institutions are geared towards imparting knowledge and education to children, but this falls far short of preparing a young person for life. The most important lesson to learn is how to behave in relationships, in the workplace, anywhere. This is especially true at a time when so many social frameworks have broken down and young people grow up without good examples to relate to and against which they can measure themselves.

As a result of the lack of intention and focus on how to build good relationships, many families experience a hostile and violent atmosphere. Children who grow up in such homes suffer from high levels of insecurity. As they grow up and build families of their own, sometimes they want to build a fundamentally different environment. However, often they end up recreating the same violent patterns so familiar to them from their past. They realize that they are repeating the same mistakes, but find they lack the strength to change.

The patterns of behavior we observed in our childhood accompany us throughout life, so it is only natural that we replicate them. Therefore, it is critical that society provides every person with courses and educational systems that will empower people to create the right relationship patterns. Such patterns need to be fixed deeply within a person to stop outbursts and eruptions of anger before harm is done.

The most important principle to teach in building relationships is the principle of equality. This principle is set against the internal willfulness that underlies all violent communication, the will of a person to control others.

In order to illustrate what is meant by this principle of equality, let’s say I want to build a good relationship between me and my partner, with mutual communication, deep connection and great love. From this point on, we both must strive with all our might to be equal. As a practical exercise, we agree that whatever I do to my partner, he or she will do the same to me, for better and for worse. We agree to mirror each other.

From the way we talk, look, react to each other in every matter and interaction, we will try to learn from this exercise how our partner is trying to treat us well. And even though it goes against our egoism and costs us a great deal of effort, it is worth showing that we are striving to transcend our egoistic instinct in order to form a good mutual bond, because it will also oblige our partner to do the same.

As part of the couple training on applying the principle of equality, we will function towards each other like a mirror. If we each immediately try to copy the behaviors of our partners and reflect them like a mirror, by doing so we help each other feel how our treatment impacted the other, spot what else we need to correct ourselves, and improve. This is a feedback mechanism, a response that exists in both technological systems and the surrounding natural systems for the purpose of maintaining balance and completion.

If we learn to build such a mechanism in our relationship and we both agree to mirror each other, then even if one treats the other badly, a reflective response will immediately come from the partner that will cause him or her to rectify direction. Gradually we will begin to perceive that the good treatment we want to receive from our partners, we first need to demonstrate towards them.

That’s the way we build one another and create an egalitarian relationship. As we advance in this work, instead of the egoistic impulses that rise within us driving our relationship in a violent, coercive and destructive direction, we will be able to shape our surrounding environment and build a home where only good patterns will be instilled in our offspring and throughout society.
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Question: Increasing numbers of  people do not want to enter into formal marriages today, and in many places, common law marriage is considered a de facto legal, marital relationship. Interestingly, according to statistics reported in a study I read about, 70% of men living in a common law marriage consider themselves single, and 90% of women in the same situation consider themselves married. How can you explain such an opposite attitude to this situation?

Answer: They want to think that way because we educate both men and women incorrectly. Man does not feel responsible. It is more convenient for him. It is easier to live in a common law marriage because it does not obligate him to anything.

But we also know other statistics: people live together for a long time, get married, and after a while get divorced. Moreover, this happens in the overwhelming majority of cases. If they had not entered into marriage, they would have continued to live together.

The fact is that man was not created as a machine—I live with someone. Does this oblige him or not, does he enclose himself in a framework that puts external pressure on him and commands him? If it overwhelms him, he will try to escape from it.

Man was created to strive for freedom. If against the framework that oppresses and obligates him, he does not have internal compensation, which should be laid in him by education, then he will run away, get divorced, and will not think that it is necessary to be included in this framework. Therefore, the institution of marriage has practically exhausted itself today.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 11/8/09

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Question: What does it mean to adhere to the Creator and at the same time be His partner?

Answer: To adhere to the Creator means to adhere to Him in complete merging, in complete similarity, in full awareness and understanding. I am independent, and at the same time, precisely because of this independence, because I am the same as Him, I adhere to Him.

At the same time, I represent the female part and the Creator, the male part. All of us together, men and women, represent the female part in relation to the Creator.

Question: So women can be proud of this?

Answer: A woman is the essence of creation more than a man and has a greater ability to reveal nature in relation to the upper force. And in a man there is more from the Creator, more independence in action than in a woman.

Therefore, in our world we are in a state where, in completion with each other, we can achieve such a manifestation of our nature when together we form a single whole similar to the Creator.

As a result, all male and female souls will unite and become one single soul, which is just like a female soul in relation to the Creator.

Question: Do the male and female principles also exist within one person?

Answer: Of course. In every person, both among men and among women, there are different combinations. And the male foundation is always more prevalent than the female one in the degree of bestowal.

At the same time, in relation to one person, I can act as a female principle, and in relation to someone else, as a male principle. For example, in relation to the upper one I am the feminine principle, and in relation to the lower one, say, a student, I am the male principle, and so on. These all are just stages.
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From KabTV’s “The Power of The Book of Zohar” #19

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 Comment: Chinese scientists in Shanghai conducted experiments on rats in which they transplanted uteruses into males and fertilized them, making them give birth. As a result, ten pups were born. They were born by caesarean section, of course.

They lived to adulthood, were able to reproduce, and didn’t face any serious diseases. Thus, an animal model of male pregnancy in mammals was created. There is such a phenomenon in the world, but it is very rare: seahorses bear offspring, and so on. But this is a rare case. Now they have proven that, roughly speaking, males can also give birth (Global Times, “Chinese scientists help male rat give birth to 10 healthy cubs for first time”).

Question: I am now interested to know what they are alluding to in general? What are all these experiments being conducted for?

Answer: I don’t see any point to it. In any case, it will not result in anything good. It will end up with a bad outcome. Because the male body differs from the female body in every cell. Do you understand? Every cell!

Therefore, to take an organ from a woman and transplant it into a man, it’s against nature. So it will never have a good outcome in the end. Somewhere along the way, maybe not right away, not in the first, but in the second or third generation, something bad will come from it. In any case, nature will not tolerate any perversion done to it.

You’re dealing with psychology, the whole body, the nerve endings, head, thorax, everything. And how are they nursed?

Are the nipples also transplanted? What about milk? The whole body is entirely involved!

We are not even talking about psychology. How the Torah treats a man and a woman differently.

Comment: Two opposites who are forced to live together.

My Response: They have to live together with each other, precisely because they are so different. And only in this way can they connect, unite, and give birth to the following generations.

Question: Because they are so different and opposite is that why? And were they not opposite, they would not connect?

Answer: No.

Question: What is the purpose of connecting all these opposites, opposing poles, completely different creatures? Why do they need to be pressured to be together if they are so different?

Answer: For them to create a system between them that resembles the Creator.

Question: And in this case it is called a real family?

Answer: Yes, “A man and a woman—and the Creator between them.”

Comment: So, maternity leave for a man. Not promising, no matter how much he wants it.

My Response: Would anyone really agree to undergo such an experiment? This is terrible!

Question: Such an experiment. So, is all this happening for the sake of science, for the sake of checking some box?

Answer: Of course. We can’t even imagine what a psychological and mental restructuring this entails. Everything, everything, everything changes.

Because the way a woman thinks and the way a man thinks is not comparable in any way or compatible. Only in the voluntary connection above them, in the desire to unite in spite of their differences, do they begin to build something in common. Love, family, and so on, otherwise, the way life produced beings, male and female, led them to create their offspring in this particular way, precisely from the fact that they appear as extremely opposite of each other.

Then they nevertheless join together, raise offspring, and so on. And look how this offspring depends on the connection between these two types. And the more these species are developed, the greater the distance between them: psychological, physiological, and so forth.

Question: So, the more developed a man and a woman become, the more complex the connection?

Answer: Of course. Not like with rats. It’s all very, very complex, and we don’t understand anything about it yet.

Comment: So we can’t defeat nature. We really want to defeat it, but we cannot.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/8/21

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Question: It seems to people that the spiritual world is something subtle, barely perceptible. Are the feelings that arise in the spiritual world between the so-called feminine and masculine concepts stronger or weaker than in the material world?

Answer: It is much stronger in magnitude. Billions of times!

Therefore, when reading the primary sources, we should not visualize what is written in them in the images of our world. In the spiritual, everything is totally inverse since it is aimed at fulfilling and delighting others. There is a completely different understanding of the feminine and masculine concepts.

In our world, by physical bodies—inanimate, vegetative, and animate—we mean an object that occupies a certain volume, has a certain weight, and some physical parameters.

In the spiritual world, a body means a spiritual object that correspondingly has spiritual parameters, and in particular, the desire to receive pleasure.
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From KabTV’s “The Power of The Book of Zohar” #18

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In the News (The Guardian): “Several Indian states are considering implementing a controversial two-child policy and incentivising sterilisation as a means of population control.

“The state of Uttar Pradesh, India’s most populous state with a population larger than Brazil, has announced draft legislation which would see anyone with more than two children denied state benefits, subsidies and government jobs. After a family has two children, there will also be incentives if one of the parents undergoes voluntary sterilisation.”

Question: Do you think such initiatives are correct?

Answer: We must not sterilize people like animals. People need to figure out themselves how to regulate the number of children they will have and why they do it.

Question: Are you suggesting a serious educational process?

Answer: Nothing will work without it, not laws or coercion, only creating a framework that a family would be proud of the fact that it brings up not a large number of children but rather special children.

Question: This revolution in thinking must take place by providing them with education?

Answer: Of course! And it will happen anyway. Otherwise, look at what kind of country it is! I was in India, I was in China, and I saw a big difference between people.

Question: Should it be carried out not by a bill on limiting the number of children, but by constant, structured education?

Answer: Yes.

Question: It is interesting that in Europe everything is the opposite, they have to subsidize families to have children. Yet, in countries like Africa and India, families must be subsidized to have fewer children. Why is this happening? What is this different way of thinking in people?

Answer: It is all based on religious beliefs and principles.

Question: Why does a highly educated person, let’s say, with three or four degrees, want fewer children?

Answer: He wants quality instead of quantity. He understands that the main thing is quality. He wants his descendants to be educated, to understand, know how, what, what they live for, create the right environment around them, and put their children on their feet in turn.

Question: And if people would voluntarily have many children and give them good education, is this a cultural feature? Do they do this consciously? Do you welcome this?

Answer: Of course.

Comment: Our people always had many children.

My Response: First of all, it was a small nation. Second, one did not replace the other. People were encouraged to have a large number of children, but every person, every child, at least every boy, had a teacher who educated him. The family has always been proud of the fact that its children, sons, as a rule, were educated. “Look how many pages he knows by heart!” And so on.

That is, it was like a highest ideal, a reward, approval. Everyone aspired for a child to become a sage.

They do not have that there.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/15/21

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Question: Is it necessary for a person who is on the spiritual path to marry or get married?

Answer: It is desirable for a man. It is not necessary for a woman.

Question: How does one understand that you are with the right person in the family? This refers to the husband and wife.

Answer: This is the person who does not interfere with your spiritual work, supports you in this, maybe even sympathizes and takes part himself.

Question: How can a couple who begins to study the science of Kabbalah unleash the potential of a child?

Answer: Sometimes talking about these topics in front of a child, giving him books from our Internet library and thus determining whether he is interested in Kabbalah. I think that something will interest him.

Question: So, a child, like an adult, has some kind of freedom of choice in this?

Answer: Of course. After all, no one forces him.

Question: Can we learn something from a child in our spiritual development?

Answer: Usually children give parents many such examples. So adults have this opportunity.
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From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 7/19/21

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Question: How can a man and a woman go above the animal level at the beginning of a relationship, that is, above the hormones that prevail in us, and consider the person more deeply than satisfying our egoistic needs?

Answer: I do not think that you are at such a level where you make any connections with each other based on some spiritual goal. There is no such a state yet. We hope that someday it will begin to appear between us.

At least, it is desirable for a material connection to arise based on a spiritual one so that there is some common passion, a common goal in life, and you understand each other more. It is necessary.

If people do not understand each other, it is very hard for them. We know from the families in which either a husband or a wife studies the wisdom of Kabbalah, how hard it is for them to live together. But they must definitely save the family, whatever it takes!

That is why I believe that the most important thing for you is to make acquaintances in our particular society.
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From KabTV’s “Videoconference”

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Comment: A letter was sent to you: “We have been living together for almost 30 years—quite a long time. We have two children, our daily life is settled, we have jobs, enough money, everything is fine. But love is gone, everything is very ordinary, without scandals, without love that used to burn.

“We have even been to a psychologist, we did all sorts of exercises that he advised, but we are still cold and quiet; we are dead. What should we do? Please tell us. We are writing to you together. Can we bring back the old relationship or at least get close to it?”—Alexander and Nadezhda

My Response: It is very difficult, but it is possible if we are serious about each other and make some kind of contract that we will constantly take care of one another, show how much we love each other, and treasure our mutual cooperation.

It is impossible, of course, to have the same feelings, the same states that we once had when we were young, when it was all new, and so on. However, they should not fade.

They should just grow precisely because of the fact that we constantly try to show each other our care. Love gives way to mutual concern.

Question: Is this what happens over the years?

Answer: Of course. Then you do not need to be on fire, you should somehow try to please the other.

Question: Is this a game? This is not even real.

Answer: It is a game. So what? All our life is a game.

Question: Will it lead to feelings?

Answer: It does not need to lead anywhere. The correct relationship is when we consciously, above our egoism, treat each other with care and consideration.

Question: Do I know that I am playing?

Answer: I specifically know, and this is why I can do it beautifully and well, and I love this state. It is because, first of all, I do it against my egoism. Second, I constantly show my partner that I am doing this for him, that I am even doing it against my egoistic desire, and that I am pleased that I am doing it against my egoism.

This point is very precise. Therefore, I do not have to lie. After all, it is clear that when I come home we no longer look at each other. He looks at the refrigerator, at the TV, at the bed, and that’s it!  And here…

Comment: You are already preparing yourself in front of the door that you will now enter with a smile and say: “Hello, my love.”

My Response: Yes. This is how it should be. Also, during the day, you should sound and talk in this way. Fill your life with this game. But do not overplay it. It should simply be an even attitude by which you show the other that you care about him.

Question: What happens then? You say that love is like this!

Answer: This is not love. It is mutual care for each other when you want the other to feel good next to you.

Question: Will both of them feel good then?

Answer: Of course. You buy his good attitude with this.

Question: So, is your advice to turn it into mutual care?

Answer: There is no other way at all! Or you can artificially pretend that you are still in love and like in a ballet fly toward each other! By this, you create a warm cloud or a relationship field.

This is called “A man and a woman, if they are rewarded, the Shechina [Divinity] is between them.”

Question: What is the Shechina here?

Answer: The state that they give birth to and cultivate between them, and it then manifests itself as something independent, outside of them, and begins to bind them together and raise them both to another degree.

Question: Does it mean that by this they reveal the Creator?

Answer: Of course. After all, they work above their egoism. This is a very difficult, real work.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 6/28/21

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