Question: There is a letter from a person close to you and me. He writes: “My wife and I lived for many long and happy years, then she got cancer and fought for life for two years. At some point we thought we had won, but cancer is such an insidious disease, it lurked and then struck with renewed force. My wife was no longer moving after chemotherapy, she kept asking, ‘Do I deserve this?’ And I want to ask you, dear Michael Laitman: why did He create us to be such sentient creations? Why didn’t He give us power over our feelings?”

Answer: He has given us power over feelings, but only if we gain this power for a purpose higher than just feeling. This is when you will rise above your feelings and control them, not turning them off with painkillers or drugs, but when you can use your feelings in the right way. Fear and pain and all other unpleasant sensations are given to us for this purpose.

Question: And we need to go through these states that he went through when he saw how his wife was suffering?

Answer: And this also needs to be passed. And we will still, unfortunately, observe all this on everyone around us, and we will be among them ourselves.

We will not be able to turn off our feelings in any way, we just have to learn how to manage them properly.

Now humanity is slowly approaching the state when it will see global cataclysms that are coming closer and ready to crash on us and are already falling on a part of humanity. And those who have not yet fallen under this wave see what is happening and have to change themselves quickly, to become in complete harmony with nature, that is, to rise above their egoism, to get closer to others, and just “love your neighbor as yourself.”

Question: You are practically saying what humanity is going to face. And I want to ask: at that moment when a loved one is suffering in front of me?

Answer: It is too late. We still have to do something, try to still fight this wave of grief, illness, pain, and so on and so forth. But in principle, we need to act prior to all of this happening.

At least, bow your head down and do everything based on the fact that it comes from above, and you, in general, agree with this upper judgment.

Comment: That the loved one has been taken away from you? It is not easy.

My Response: This is a tragedy! This is a disaster! Especially people who have lived together and lived for many years. It is incredible! It is easier to die yourself!

Comment: Yes, that is the feeling he had: “I would prefer so that it would have come to me! Why did she have to suffer?!”

My Response: Yes. But it won’t help. This is the easiest solution.

Question: What is the main solution at this moment?

Answer: Bow your head down and do whatever you need to do. Fully agree with the upper force that does this to us, and try to annul yourself in this state so much that you agree to accept everything.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/12/21

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Comment: At present, the representation of women in areas that belonged exclusively to men 15 to 20 years ago has significantly increased.

My Response: This is not a result of a good life. Talk to business women heart-to-heart and you will see that they do not need it. It does not make women happy. Well, a little more money, a little more something.

A woman treats life more realistically than a man does. She is attached to the world, to the earth, to nature. And those things that are not material enough, that is, ghostly money in the bank or something like that, are not very important for her. She is interested in safety and security, but only as much as they are necessary in the current conditions for her life and no more.

A man chases various toys: ships, airplanes, and yachts. He remains a child. It does not matter to him whether it benefits him or not; he gets carried away with his games and spends his time in this way.

A woman does not need this. She looks at the world more realistically: she needs a home, a family, solid security.

Question: What is the nature of this phenomenon that a man feels self-sufficient? If a woman did not demand anything from him, he would continue playing his games.

Answer: A man should be aimed at the attainment of the Creator, should bring this attainment into our world, pass it to a woman, and with her help reach the Creator because it is impossible without this. A man and a woman together in their joint aspiration, i.e., the male and female parts of humanity, reach the Creator.

Man descended into our world as one being, and then divided into two opposite parts, a man and a woman. Only by joining together (this is only about spiritual, not physical qualities) can we climb up and attain the upper world.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Emancipation” 9/16/09

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Prophets, Joshua, 17:3-17:4: But Zelophehad, the son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, had no sons, but daughters; and these are the names of his daughter: Mahlah, and Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.

And they came near before Eleazar the priest, and before Joshua the son of Nun, and before the princes, saying, “The Lord commanded Moses to give us an inheritance among our brothers.” According to the commandment of the Lord, he gave them an inheritance among the brothers of their father.

A daughter is the will to receive without an intention to bestow, which so far has no personal correction.

There are such desires in a person for which he cannot acquire the correct intention. Yet, since these desires exist, he wants to reach their correction. But how? He does not have such capabilities.

Man symbolizes the intention for the sake of the Creator, and woman is the desire without intention. Therefore, desire plus the correct intention can give birth to a correct action called a child, children. Therefore, a woman cannot do anything by herself.

However, since they have accurately checked and made sure that they do not have any suitable desires, this leads to the fact that they seemingly complain to the Creator, “Why are desires created in us without the opportunity to correct them?”

Question: Still, inheritance was given to daughters. Why?

Answer: Because the most important thing is the earth, the female part. The male part gives only intention to the female desire. Therefore, female desire cannot be destroyed. You must find a suitable intention for it. Thus, we see that this problem is not resolved yet. The Creator did not provide people with capabilities to correct, and yet, correction must happen.

Question: Why does the Torah always speak about sons being born and not daughters?

Answer: Because the most important thing is the intention. The desire is there, but the intention is given by the Creator from above.

Question: When the intention to bestow appears, it means that a son is born. Is a daughter born in parallel or together with this desire?

Answer: In the original narrations of the Torah (Bible), it is said that male and female are almost always born together. Then we see that each time there are more and more confusing states because we are constantly advancing.

As the correction progresses, problems and inconsistencies arise between the male and female parts. Thus, we must search for the male and then the female part.
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From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 8/9/21

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My new article on Linkedin “The Vicious Circle of Domestic Violence”

Domestic violence is widespread and seemingly unstoppable. In America, one in four women will experience violence by their partners within their lifetime, according to a new report published by The New England Journal of Medicine. The U.S. nationwide media attention on the killing of a young woman, Gabby Petito, in Wyoming, in which her partner was named a person of interest, put the issue of abusive relationships in the spotlight again. Crimes could be prevented through the right education from an early age.

Unfortunately, this is just one of many cases reported worldwide every day amidst too many that go unregistered. Globally, around one in three—a staggering 736 million women—have been victims of violence in their life perpetrated by their boyfriends or husbands, based on UN statistics.

Humiliation, teasing, bullying, threats and cursing, are common forms of verbal abuse within the family. Emotional violence takes quiet forms as well: disconnection, thunderous silences, and disregard for extended periods. There are many shades and expressions of violent communication between couples, and when these become a recurrent situation at home, it usually has dire consequences. How can this phenomenon be dealt with?

Let’s start with the schools. Most institutions are geared towards imparting knowledge and education to children, but this falls far short of preparing a young person for life. The most important lesson to learn is how to behave in relationships, in the workplace, anywhere. This is especially true at a time when so many social frameworks have broken down and young people grow up without good examples to relate to and against which they can measure themselves.

As a result of the lack of intention and focus on how to build good relationships, many families experience a hostile and violent atmosphere. Children who grow up in such homes suffer from high levels of insecurity. As they grow up and build families of their own, sometimes they want to build a fundamentally different environment. However, often they end up recreating the same violent patterns so familiar to them from their past. They realize that they are repeating the same mistakes, but find they lack the strength to change.

The patterns of behavior we observed in our childhood accompany us throughout life, so it is only natural that we replicate them. Therefore, it is critical that society provides every person with courses and educational systems that will empower people to create the right relationship patterns. Such patterns need to be fixed deeply within a person to stop outbursts and eruptions of anger before harm is done.

The most important principle to teach in building relationships is the principle of equality. This principle is set against the internal willfulness that underlies all violent communication, the will of a person to control others.

In order to illustrate what is meant by this principle of equality, let’s say I want to build a good relationship between me and my partner, with mutual communication, deep connection and great love. From this point on, we both must strive with all our might to be equal. As a practical exercise, we agree that whatever I do to my partner, he or she will do the same to me, for better and for worse. We agree to mirror each other.

From the way we talk, look, react to each other in every matter and interaction, we will try to learn from this exercise how our partner is trying to treat us well. And even though it goes against our egoism and costs us a great deal of effort, it is worth showing that we are striving to transcend our egoistic instinct in order to form a good mutual bond, because it will also oblige our partner to do the same.

As part of the couple training on applying the principle of equality, we will function towards each other like a mirror. If we each immediately try to copy the behaviors of our partners and reflect them like a mirror, by doing so we help each other feel how our treatment impacted the other, spot what else we need to correct ourselves, and improve. This is a feedback mechanism, a response that exists in both technological systems and the surrounding natural systems for the purpose of maintaining balance and completion.

If we learn to build such a mechanism in our relationship and we both agree to mirror each other, then even if one treats the other badly, a reflective response will immediately come from the partner that will cause him or her to rectify direction. Gradually we will begin to perceive that the good treatment we want to receive from our partners, we first need to demonstrate towards them.

That’s the way we build one another and create an egalitarian relationship. As we advance in this work, instead of the egoistic impulses that rise within us driving our relationship in a violent, coercive and destructive direction, we will be able to shape our surrounding environment and build a home where only good patterns will be instilled in our offspring and throughout society.
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Question: Increasing numbers of  people do not want to enter into formal marriages today, and in many places, common law marriage is considered a de facto legal, marital relationship. Interestingly, according to statistics reported in a study I read about, 70% of men living in a common law marriage consider themselves single, and 90% of women in the same situation consider themselves married. How can you explain such an opposite attitude to this situation?

Answer: They want to think that way because we educate both men and women incorrectly. Man does not feel responsible. It is more convenient for him. It is easier to live in a common law marriage because it does not obligate him to anything.

But we also know other statistics: people live together for a long time, get married, and after a while get divorced. Moreover, this happens in the overwhelming majority of cases. If they had not entered into marriage, they would have continued to live together.

The fact is that man was not created as a machine—I live with someone. Does this oblige him or not, does he enclose himself in a framework that puts external pressure on him and commands him? If it overwhelms him, he will try to escape from it.

Man was created to strive for freedom. If against the framework that oppresses and obligates him, he does not have internal compensation, which should be laid in him by education, then he will run away, get divorced, and will not think that it is necessary to be included in this framework. Therefore, the institution of marriage has practically exhausted itself today.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 11/8/09

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Question: What does it mean to adhere to the Creator and at the same time be His partner?

Answer: To adhere to the Creator means to adhere to Him in complete merging, in complete similarity, in full awareness and understanding. I am independent, and at the same time, precisely because of this independence, because I am the same as Him, I adhere to Him.

At the same time, I represent the female part and the Creator, the male part. All of us together, men and women, represent the female part in relation to the Creator.

Question: So women can be proud of this?

Answer: A woman is the essence of creation more than a man and has a greater ability to reveal nature in relation to the upper force. And in a man there is more from the Creator, more independence in action than in a woman.

Therefore, in our world we are in a state where, in completion with each other, we can achieve such a manifestation of our nature when together we form a single whole similar to the Creator.

As a result, all male and female souls will unite and become one single soul, which is just like a female soul in relation to the Creator.

Question: Do the male and female principles also exist within one person?

Answer: Of course. In every person, both among men and among women, there are different combinations. And the male foundation is always more prevalent than the female one in the degree of bestowal.

At the same time, in relation to one person, I can act as a female principle, and in relation to someone else, as a male principle. For example, in relation to the upper one I am the feminine principle, and in relation to the lower one, say, a student, I am the male principle, and so on. These all are just stages.
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From KabTV’s “The Power of The Book of Zohar” #19

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 Comment: Chinese scientists in Shanghai conducted experiments on rats in which they transplanted uteruses into males and fertilized them, making them give birth. As a result, ten pups were born. They were born by caesarean section, of course.

They lived to adulthood, were able to reproduce, and didn’t face any serious diseases. Thus, an animal model of male pregnancy in mammals was created. There is such a phenomenon in the world, but it is very rare: seahorses bear offspring, and so on. But this is a rare case. Now they have proven that, roughly speaking, males can also give birth (Global Times, “Chinese scientists help male rat give birth to 10 healthy cubs for first time”).

Question: I am now interested to know what they are alluding to in general? What are all these experiments being conducted for?

Answer: I don’t see any point to it. In any case, it will not result in anything good. It will end up with a bad outcome. Because the male body differs from the female body in every cell. Do you understand? Every cell!

Therefore, to take an organ from a woman and transplant it into a man, it’s against nature. So it will never have a good outcome in the end. Somewhere along the way, maybe not right away, not in the first, but in the second or third generation, something bad will come from it. In any case, nature will not tolerate any perversion done to it.

You’re dealing with psychology, the whole body, the nerve endings, head, thorax, everything. And how are they nursed?

Are the nipples also transplanted? What about milk? The whole body is entirely involved!

We are not even talking about psychology. How the Torah treats a man and a woman differently.

Comment: Two opposites who are forced to live together.

My Response: They have to live together with each other, precisely because they are so different. And only in this way can they connect, unite, and give birth to the following generations.

Question: Because they are so different and opposite is that why? And were they not opposite, they would not connect?

Answer: No.

Question: What is the purpose of connecting all these opposites, opposing poles, completely different creatures? Why do they need to be pressured to be together if they are so different?

Answer: For them to create a system between them that resembles the Creator.

Question: And in this case it is called a real family?

Answer: Yes, “A man and a woman—and the Creator between them.”

Comment: So, maternity leave for a man. Not promising, no matter how much he wants it.

My Response: Would anyone really agree to undergo such an experiment? This is terrible!

Question: Such an experiment. So, is all this happening for the sake of science, for the sake of checking some box?

Answer: Of course. We can’t even imagine what a psychological and mental restructuring this entails. Everything, everything, everything changes.

Because the way a woman thinks and the way a man thinks is not comparable in any way or compatible. Only in the voluntary connection above them, in the desire to unite in spite of their differences, do they begin to build something in common. Love, family, and so on, otherwise, the way life produced beings, male and female, led them to create their offspring in this particular way, precisely from the fact that they appear as extremely opposite of each other.

Then they nevertheless join together, raise offspring, and so on. And look how this offspring depends on the connection between these two types. And the more these species are developed, the greater the distance between them: psychological, physiological, and so forth.

Question: So, the more developed a man and a woman become, the more complex the connection?

Answer: Of course. Not like with rats. It’s all very, very complex, and we don’t understand anything about it yet.

Comment: So we can’t defeat nature. We really want to defeat it, but we cannot.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/8/21

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Question: It seems to people that the spiritual world is something subtle, barely perceptible. Are the feelings that arise in the spiritual world between the so-called feminine and masculine concepts stronger or weaker than in the material world?

Answer: It is much stronger in magnitude. Billions of times!

Therefore, when reading the primary sources, we should not visualize what is written in them in the images of our world. In the spiritual, everything is totally inverse since it is aimed at fulfilling and delighting others. There is a completely different understanding of the feminine and masculine concepts.

In our world, by physical bodies—inanimate, vegetative, and animate—we mean an object that occupies a certain volume, has a certain weight, and some physical parameters.

In the spiritual world, a body means a spiritual object that correspondingly has spiritual parameters, and in particular, the desire to receive pleasure.
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From KabTV’s “The Power of The Book of Zohar” #18

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In the News (The Guardian): “Several Indian states are considering implementing a controversial two-child policy and incentivising sterilisation as a means of population control.

“The state of Uttar Pradesh, India’s most populous state with a population larger than Brazil, has announced draft legislation which would see anyone with more than two children denied state benefits, subsidies and government jobs. After a family has two children, there will also be incentives if one of the parents undergoes voluntary sterilisation.”

Question: Do you think such initiatives are correct?

Answer: We must not sterilize people like animals. People need to figure out themselves how to regulate the number of children they will have and why they do it.

Question: Are you suggesting a serious educational process?

Answer: Nothing will work without it, not laws or coercion, only creating a framework that a family would be proud of the fact that it brings up not a large number of children but rather special children.

Question: This revolution in thinking must take place by providing them with education?

Answer: Of course! And it will happen anyway. Otherwise, look at what kind of country it is! I was in India, I was in China, and I saw a big difference between people.

Question: Should it be carried out not by a bill on limiting the number of children, but by constant, structured education?

Answer: Yes.

Question: It is interesting that in Europe everything is the opposite, they have to subsidize families to have children. Yet, in countries like Africa and India, families must be subsidized to have fewer children. Why is this happening? What is this different way of thinking in people?

Answer: It is all based on religious beliefs and principles.

Question: Why does a highly educated person, let’s say, with three or four degrees, want fewer children?

Answer: He wants quality instead of quantity. He understands that the main thing is quality. He wants his descendants to be educated, to understand, know how, what, what they live for, create the right environment around them, and put their children on their feet in turn.

Question: And if people would voluntarily have many children and give them good education, is this a cultural feature? Do they do this consciously? Do you welcome this?

Answer: Of course.

Comment: Our people always had many children.

My Response: First of all, it was a small nation. Second, one did not replace the other. People were encouraged to have a large number of children, but every person, every child, at least every boy, had a teacher who educated him. The family has always been proud of the fact that its children, sons, as a rule, were educated. “Look how many pages he knows by heart!” And so on.

That is, it was like a highest ideal, a reward, approval. Everyone aspired for a child to become a sage.

They do not have that there.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/15/21

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Question: Is it necessary for a person who is on the spiritual path to marry or get married?

Answer: It is desirable for a man. It is not necessary for a woman.

Question: How does one understand that you are with the right person in the family? This refers to the husband and wife.

Answer: This is the person who does not interfere with your spiritual work, supports you in this, maybe even sympathizes and takes part himself.

Question: How can a couple who begins to study the science of Kabbalah unleash the potential of a child?

Answer: Sometimes talking about these topics in front of a child, giving him books from our Internet library and thus determining whether he is interested in Kabbalah. I think that something will interest him.

Question: So, a child, like an adult, has some kind of freedom of choice in this?

Answer: Of course. After all, no one forces him.

Question: Can we learn something from a child in our spiritual development?

Answer: Usually children give parents many such examples. So adults have this opportunity.
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From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 7/19/21

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