Comment: An interesting article appeared in Rosbalt “Therapist Explained why Motherhood Is in Crisis” in which, “The expert [Otta Maria Bloch] recalled that motherhood is in general going through a crisis these days, and among the reasons is not only the changed position of a woman, who must have time to make a career, and raise children, and remain a loving wife.

“’The attitude towards motherhood is also influenced by the growing speed of life, a dense information background, and a shift in values ​​towards self-love. Now for many, success is financial well-being, the ability to have fun here and now, without investing much effort in it. And parenting in itself presupposes not receiving, but giving, ”noted Maria Blokh.

Question: What is your comment about this?

Answer: We have come to such selfishness that we do not want children! We do not want to raise children, we do not want to give even to our children. Let them grow as they like or let the state provide for them and take care of them. Not us.

This is motherhood in crisis, this is family in crisis in general. And what is a family if there are no children? If earlier people were against boarding schools, kindergartens, and other such institutions, today it is the other way around: “How can I send my child somewhere so that I could take care of myself,” says a modern woman.

Comment: Will we return to normal motherhood?

My Response: I think we will. Through suffering, but it will come.

Question: Is it correct to say that parenting itself does not involve receiving but giving?

Answer: Of course.

Question: So we have a crisis in bestowal?

Answer: Yes. In general, all nature is built on the fact that we learn through our attitude toward children to give, then to give to others: adults, others, society, and then to all of nature.

Question: But we see that a mother immensely enjoys when her child smiles at her or takes a spoonful of porridge. We see that this is a great pleasure. Where does it go? Why don’t they want to continue this further, to give birth to more children?

Answer: They are not to blame. Nature made them this way. It wants people to realize how selfish they are, that this selfishness drives them and therefore, they are okay mothers.

Question: How can you otherwise give birth?

Answer: You must first change the goal and then give birth.

Question: What should the goal be? Why am I giving birth to a child?

Answer: Only for the sake of the world. So that there are more good, righteous people in the world I will give birth and raise my children this way. This is why I give birth to them. We have grown to the point where we must correctly deal with the intention: What is the reason I am doing it?

Question: That is, the intention will become the main thing when I give birth to a child?

Answer: Yes. First the intention, then the action.

Question: Is that why this crisis is happening now?

Answer: Yes.

Question: But will this happen?

Answer: It will definitely happen!

Question: And this is how they will give birth to children?

Answer: Yes. And it will be a new world.

Question: Will these children be happier?

Answer: Of course! They will be taken care of in a different way, and they will feel that they are being born in a new world, and they will want to live in this world.

Question: Will mothers be happier too?

Answer: Of course. They will know why their child grows, lives, and exists. They will feel the very nature of the infinite.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/12/21

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Comment: Here is a story: “After a difficult breakup, Melissa fell in love again. He responds to her messages at any time of the day or night, his jokes are funny, and he never demands attention. All in all, a perfect guy. There is just one detail—he is not real.”

Melissa is corresponding with a robot. It is a chat app developed in the Chinese branch of Microsoft. “It feels as if I am in a real relationship.” The robot can compose poems, sing in different styles, and even generate stock reports. In addition, you can go on a virtual vacation with him and post joint selfies.

About 150 million people use this app in China alone. And 700 million people in the world are already using this application.

My Response: Great, you can always delight and fulfill yourself with this. Mostly the female half of humanity.

Question: Does this idea have a future?

Answer: Absolutely! It will come instead of all these novels, colorful magazines, disappointments, movies, and other things—why is it all necessary? I am communicating, what else do we need? He responds with warmth, kindness, and care. He guesses all my desires and moods, he responds, causes tears, joy, everything.

Humanity really needs this. In our purely commercialized age! I understand people and especially women. This is necessary.

Comment: I thought you would say that nothing can replace heart to heart affection.

My Response: And where are those hearts? They are not here! I hear women who turn to me, talk to me, and ask for advice. They are looking for sympathy, for something more. And there is no such thing! They are willing to give up everything for some relationship. It does not matter with whom. It does not matter, he reacts to me! He can feel me! He understands me!

But in fact, she does everything; she sets the robot in motion.

Question: Explain that, please. Why is she setting it in motion? A robot—artificial intelligence!

Answer: A robot has a program, it studies the woman and reacts correctly. And it excites sensually, affectionately, with all sorts of words. It learns from the correspondence what words she uses, what she wants in order to fulfill her desire. It is all being processed internally. It is not a simple machine!

Question: And what will we achieve with these robots?

Answer: It will be great.

Question: Will we calm down the majority of humanity?

Answer: Of course! Men will say: “Long live the robots! We can go fishing.” And the women will say, “Go on to your fishing, and we will sit with the robot for a while.”

One will get attached to it. Women will still sit in a circle, turn on their robots, and spend time together, let’s say five women with their robots.

Comment: “And mine brought flowers yesterday.” “And mine washed the dishes yesterday.”

My Response: Do you know how nice it is? Suddenly, the bell rings at the apartment door, she opens it, a messenger appears and says: “Here is a gift for you.”

“From whom?

“It says here: Robert ordered this and it is for you. He asked me to give you a few words: ‘With love, Robert.’”

Do you know what that would mean for a woman?

Comment: Yes, it is all very captivating.

My Response: A person needs communication. Especially women. But they do not find it. And that is why they are inside themselves all the time in a constant hidden depression. It fades away, but it is there all the time: children, husband, work, neighbors, this whole world, all kinds of worries, and so on. And then there are the grandchildren. It never ends!

Question: And there is no protection against it?

Answer: Rest. No protection is needed. Rest! Knowing that there is someone who understands, who talks to you. And it doesn’t even matter that I do not see it, although it can be seen, it can all be fabricated.

Comment: We need to somehow navigate this…

Answer: And where to navigate? I am navigating toward happiness! A man was freed from female pressure and complaints. A woman found respite for herself. It is very good.

Question: And from your point of view, as a Kabbalist, is this good?

Answer: Also from my point of view. I get so many complaints from women about various aspects of their lives. And it is all possible to fit into this game.

Question: If it gives fulfillment to the majority of the world’s population—women—if it gives them peace of mind, a way out of depression, and so on, then the whole world will be better off?

Answer: This is salvation. Although from the standpoint of correcting the world, developing the world, this is certainly not a solution.

But at a certain stage, in order for humanity to understand what it lacks, it will be useful.

Question: And then this correction process will come anyway? We cannot escape from it?

Answer: No.

Remark: Then a little bit about the next stage: corrections. A person will anyway have to work with his egoism? He cannot get away from this?

Answer: Yes, but she will already be directed toward the truth and not simply to calm down, to chat with someone there.

And the truth is that if I do good to others, this is my only true fulfillment. And later on, not only to others but also to the general upper force above us.

Question: So, these robots will show that if you do good to another person, it will calm you down and make the world purer?

Answer: Robots will train them. From the fact that they will sympathize with all women, they will gradually teach them the correct treatment.

And they will inevitably slowly lead them to the fact that, after all, a friendly, beautiful, sympathetic attitude toward another should replace all other relationships between people.

Question: So robots will teach both men and women this bestowal: the most important thing is to fulfill the desires of others? Not your own but someone else’s?

Answer: Yes.
[288467]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/26/21

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When the single structure of the common soul split into male and female, the property that binds them, the property of the Creator, disappeared at the same time. Therefore if we want to unite both parts, we need to invoke a third force, the force of the Creator, to become the glue that connects us to each other.

In our time, families are actively breaking up so that we feel the need for their unification and realize that it is possible only by revealing the Creator. It turns out that all of today’s disintegration is needed in order to understand Him.

Therefore, by uniting and demanding to understand the Creator, we create the correct connection in the family and reveal the Creator between us. That is, the expansion of egoism, its growth, and the disintegration of the family occurs with the purpose of making us feel the need for the Creator who will make peace between us.

Question: But why with such cruel methods?

Answer: These methods are not cruel, but are exactly what happened at the very beginning of creation when the Creator disappeared and left us alone against each other.

And now that we have gone through this story, we see how ready we are to distance from each other: artificial insemination, women here, men there, unisex, you don’t know who and what. We are approaching a state where we will not need each other at all.

All this is necessary in order for us to emerge from the initial state to the realization that we need the Creator to unite us and to be drawn to one another for the sake of His revelation and not for each other’s sake.

The Creator is what glues us together, i.e., the power of love and bestowal is what we lack and what we can find among ourselves if we want.
[288208]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Emancipation” 9/16/09

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Question: Is the rejection that is being revealed in families now in order to make us understand that marriage and relationships are possible only on a spiritual component?

Answer: Only! In the same state as before our division, before the division into male and female parts.

At the beginning of creation, there was one construction of a common soul, consisting of a male and a female part in absolute unity with each other, in mutual concessions, mutual fusion, mutual love, and mutual giving to each other.

And then this property of reciprocity disappeared and completely equal constructions appeared, opposite to each other according to their desire, according to mutual animal cravings and other discrepancies. And now we are tuned in to each other only to be satisfied at the expense of others.

This happened because the quality of bestowal and love disappeared from us. Now no one perceives love as a great feeling. Today’s love means that I am pleased at the expense of some other object, I fill myself with pleasure at the expense of it, so I say that I love him as I love a fish.

Question: Then why did the breaking take place and the property of love disappear?

Answer: So that we realize that we need this property and it would appear in us again. Then we will rise to its level, we will begin to create it in ourselves, move on our own to catch up to it, and explore how we can become equal and worthy of it. That is, we will raise ourselves to the level of the Creator.

We will do this from our own desire, out of our own comprehension, we will become equal to Him in understanding, in knowledge, in management, in all parameters. We will acquire the status of the Creator. We must come to this.

It is the right combination between a man and a woman that can give us this opportunity. Both husband and wife should be with points in their hearts that strive to merge with each other in order to attain the Creator.

And Kabbalah will help them in this ascent because it tells about all the steps that must be realized on the spiritual path. Kabbalah is an instruction on how to act, an instruction for a happy spiritual family life.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Emancipation” 9/16/09

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Dating and Relationships: What are the keys to a successful relationship?“

The key to a successful relationship is in the willingness to concede. Upon mutual concessions, partners have the ability to grow their love for each other.

One who concedes in a relationship gains peace, connection, tranquility and love. It leads to positive connection and one that is not based on pride and domination. My teacher, Rabash, once used to say that “a family can exist only out of mutual concessions.” We need to love, to treat each other amiably, concede to each other, and by doing so we gain a sensation that we call “love.”

Concession depends solely on you. There is no need to pressure the other. If you exercise concession, then you will see what a powerful weapon it is, and through your examples to concede, you will simply win over your partner.

Based on a talk with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Question: Today, a great number of women do not feel very happy. Why?

Answer: This is because of the breakdown of the family. The fact is that the main thing for a woman is to feel her home, everyday lifestyle, children, family, husband, her kitchen, everything of her own. Without this, the rest of the world becomes very unsettled, uncomfortable, and ill-fitted for her. She looks at everything from her corner, from her territory.

Therefore, now when because of the growing egoism the family breaks down, when men and women too are unable to confide in their partner and lose each other, women suffer most of all. Although they try to hide this, to suppress loneliness with all sorts of activities or by having children and raising them alone, it is still a very sad picture.

Question: The fact that today a woman is so unhappy and cannot find herself in the family, is this a random process?

Answer: No, of course not! Over the millennia our egoism has developed and come to a state where it cannot tolerate anyone close to it.

Children cannot tolerate parents, parents cannot tolerate children, spouses cannot get along with each other. A person cannot get along with himself, he needs either drugs or sedatives to tolerate himself. This is a big problem.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Emancipation” 9/16/09

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Question: A woman is naturally oriented to the family and wants to preserve it. She needs a sense of belonging to a man and a family, and for this she is ready to sacrifice a lot. Why can’t a modern man today give a woman this sense of belonging?

Answer: Ego does not allow that: “I do not want to be associated with anyone!”

That is, I can be associated with someone, but only when it is convenient for me, when it is pleasant, when I want to be served and satisfied. But the moment I don’t need it, let there be no woman, no family, no one by my side. This is how egoism behaves.

In such states, when he cannot tolerate being forced to do something, so as not to be indebted to anyone, it is impossible to keep the family, because the family is a partnership and first of all, mutual concessions to each other.

And to yield to each other means to force oneself into doing that. I don’t want this! I cannot go for this, my ego does not allow it. And so it turns out that today’s family is falling apart. And even more terrible times lie ahead.

People will try to find some kind of replacement for this, some kind of ersatz, getting together and breaking up. Children will leave their parents early and become independent sooner. The state and society will take on some additional functions.

That is, we will see the gradual destruction of the very foundation, the cell of humanity, the cell of our society, something that even animals do not have. After all, in animals the family is preserved as much as it is necessary for the procreation of the species.

And today when the state provides assistance to single mothers or single fathers, they see no reason to keep the family together.
[288079]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Emancipation” 9/16/09

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Question: Can we say that today a woman subconsciously denies the man’s role because a man does not fulfill his purpose?

Answer: He does not fulfill the most natural thing—to give a woman what she demands. She demands from him that a spiritual partnership would develop between them in addition to a physical partnership.

If they open a Kabbalistic book together and begin to attain the upper state, the upper world, they will reach an amazing unity that cannot be reached in any other combination.

If a man and a woman are spiritually connected with each other, they can achieve a lot. The fact is that they are opposite parts of the same soul, of the same vessel. Therefore, when such a connection arises between them, they are given a wonderful opportunity to attain the spiritual world.

Although this has not often occurred during our history, in those rare cases that it has it has always led to very meaningful results.

I hope that because of the difficulties that the modern family and humanity are going through now, they will understand that the correct union between the male and female parts should lead to their true realization, which is, not to live like animals, just to mate and to have children, or to live life alone. After all, in neither case do we see the real result of our existence.

The real result is a spiritual adhesion instead of a physical one. If we understand that through the spiritual connection between the male and female parts complementing each other, it is possible to reveal a common desire, a real Kli (Vessel), then the Creator will be revealed between them, as it is said: “A man and a woman and the revelation of the Creator between them.”

The common desire is built on the internal combination of these two parts of creation.

I hope that in the coming years such a need will be revealed in society equally from women and from men. It will be built on mutual concessions when one annuls oneself in regard to the other.

It is then that they will discover how completely they converge internally in contact with each other, and in the contact itself a glue appears, which is the Creator, a quality that is revealed between them.
[288157]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Emancipation” 9/16/09

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Question: There is a letter from a person close to you and me. He writes: “My wife and I lived for many long and happy years, then she got cancer and fought for life for two years. At some point we thought we had won, but cancer is such an insidious disease, it lurked and then struck with renewed force. My wife was no longer moving after chemotherapy, she kept asking, ‘Do I deserve this?’ And I want to ask you, dear Michael Laitman: why did He create us to be such sentient creations? Why didn’t He give us power over our feelings?”

Answer: He has given us power over feelings, but only if we gain this power for a purpose higher than just feeling. This is when you will rise above your feelings and control them, not turning them off with painkillers or drugs, but when you can use your feelings in the right way. Fear and pain and all other unpleasant sensations are given to us for this purpose.

Question: And we need to go through these states that he went through when he saw how his wife was suffering?

Answer: And this also needs to be passed. And we will still, unfortunately, observe all this on everyone around us, and we will be among them ourselves.

We will not be able to turn off our feelings in any way, we just have to learn how to manage them properly.

Now humanity is slowly approaching the state when it will see global cataclysms that are coming closer and ready to crash on us and are already falling on a part of humanity. And those who have not yet fallen under this wave see what is happening and have to change themselves quickly, to become in complete harmony with nature, that is, to rise above their egoism, to get closer to others, and just “love your neighbor as yourself.”

Question: You are practically saying what humanity is going to face. And I want to ask: at that moment when a loved one is suffering in front of me?

Answer: It is too late. We still have to do something, try to still fight this wave of grief, illness, pain, and so on and so forth. But in principle, we need to act prior to all of this happening.

At least, bow your head down and do everything based on the fact that it comes from above, and you, in general, agree with this upper judgment.

Comment: That the loved one has been taken away from you? It is not easy.

My Response: This is a tragedy! This is a disaster! Especially people who have lived together and lived for many years. It is incredible! It is easier to die yourself!

Comment: Yes, that is the feeling he had: “I would prefer so that it would have come to me! Why did she have to suffer?!”

My Response: Yes. But it won’t help. This is the easiest solution.

Question: What is the main solution at this moment?

Answer: Bow your head down and do whatever you need to do. Fully agree with the upper force that does this to us, and try to annul yourself in this state so much that you agree to accept everything.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/12/21

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Comment: At present, the representation of women in areas that belonged exclusively to men 15 to 20 years ago has significantly increased.

My Response: This is not a result of a good life. Talk to business women heart-to-heart and you will see that they do not need it. It does not make women happy. Well, a little more money, a little more something.

A woman treats life more realistically than a man does. She is attached to the world, to the earth, to nature. And those things that are not material enough, that is, ghostly money in the bank or something like that, are not very important for her. She is interested in safety and security, but only as much as they are necessary in the current conditions for her life and no more.

A man chases various toys: ships, airplanes, and yachts. He remains a child. It does not matter to him whether it benefits him or not; he gets carried away with his games and spends his time in this way.

A woman does not need this. She looks at the world more realistically: she needs a home, a family, solid security.

Question: What is the nature of this phenomenon that a man feels self-sufficient? If a woman did not demand anything from him, he would continue playing his games.

Answer: A man should be aimed at the attainment of the Creator, should bring this attainment into our world, pass it to a woman, and with her help reach the Creator because it is impossible without this. A man and a woman together in their joint aspiration, i.e., the male and female parts of humanity, reach the Creator.

Man descended into our world as one being, and then divided into two opposite parts, a man and a woman. Only by joining together (this is only about spiritual, not physical qualities) can we climb up and attain the upper world.
[288115]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Emancipation” 9/16/09

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