The Creator does not send me suffering. The desire that is not similar to the Upper Light awakens within me and I feel this dissimilarity as suffering with respect to health, money, honor, power, security, spouse, children, and the whole world. I feel pressure, hardship, and various problems.
Who or what is at fault? My desire that is opposite to the Light. It arouses the sensation of suffering within me. This sensation does not come from the Light. The Light is at absolute rest; it is good and brings goodness both to the wicked and to the righteous. It is me that is not similar to the Light, my qualities that are different from the Light.
For example, if a desire of 10kg awakens in me, I have to become equivalent to the Light in those 10kg. That is, I have to build the “intention for the sake of bestowal” upon that desire and then I will find myself in my “little” World of Infinity. Afterwards, the desire will increase to 12kg, and I will have to correct my intention for bestowal for the additional 2kg, and then I will feel myself in a greater World of Infinity, and so on.
My egoistic desire increases day after day. However, if I only want to use the increased desire more by exploiting others for my own benefit instead of connecting with them and bestowing to the Creator with other parts of the common soul, then I feel suffering in that desire. Egoism suffers from its own opposition to the Light that surrounds it. We create suffering for ourselves; it is not the Creator. He is perfect, so how can He change?
I’m immersed in the sea of Light now. Yet if I don’t try to become similar to Him, to the degree of the thoughts and desires revealed to me now, I will feel bad, and tomorrow, I will feel even worse than today.
Try to become similar to the Light every single moment. The Light is bestowal and love for the other; it is universal unification. All private desires, individual souls, will unite and this single big desire will become similar to the Light.
How can I accomplish it? How can I help in this process? Start thinking about it and you will see that your suffering will cease. Suddenly you will realize that your desire that is aspiring toward the Light is actually similar to it. In this part, you will feel yourself as the Light, as the Creator. You have the method and all the means for it.