How To Save A Marriage

294.4Question: I recently watched your video where you say that you cannot get a divorce, only as the last resort when there are children involved.

So what can I do when there are no feelings left for each other and the children see that? When there is only fighting and annoyance with each other? How can it be good for the children to grow up in such an atmosphere? I don’t love him, do you understand? Don’t hold me back.

My Response: I am holding you back. I would like to restrain both you and him. Because you are no longer children like your kids  you need to understand that it is still much better for you, for your children, for your family, and for society for you not to divorce, but simply to stop paying attention to certain feelings.

Question: But how can they achieve peace, more or less?

Answer: They should agree not to annoy each other. That’s it! What else is there to do? Let your relationship involve a bit of politics, some agreement and reasoning, rising above yourselves.
To say: “I don’t like things about him, he doesn’t like things about me” is childish!

Question: In general, it is possible to agree on areas to avoid?

Answer: Absolutely! If they already have children, then they are clearly mature people. If you have children, you have no right to divorce. For the sake of your children. The kids won’t forgive you. They will carry it with them throughout their lives.

Question: So, if she thinks about the children at this moment, and not about herself, about her annoyance?

Answer: Then she will not be annoyed.

Question: What does it involve? Forgiveness of all his mistakes or what? How to make concessions here?

Answer: To reduce each other’s vulnerability, your sensitivity to each other, claims against each other. Imagine that the other has a right to his behavior, to his life. And at the same time, you have a common life. And this common life, first of all, concerns your children, and not you personally. Don’t be so selfish! Live for the sake of the children. This should not be a source of pain for your children.

Question: Is this the real responsibility?

Answer: Yes. Of course.

Comment: People don’t think that children are affected by this their whole lives.

My Response: No. This will have a big impact on the children. And the children will also get divorced because their parents did the same.

Question: Does it follow the chain?

Answer: It does.

Question: And it extends to the next generation?

Answer: Yes. And if they didn’t see the parent’s divorce, then, despite the fact that there are very big differences between them and general fighting, children will still preserve their families.

Question: So you also look at other generations?

Answer: Certainly. Because “what parents do serves as an example for children.”
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/23/20

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An Ideal Family

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