Question: In one of your clips there was a story about a lonely whale that exists in its own frequency and makes its own sounds. The others don’t see or hear him. He wanders all by himself.

Martha writes to you: “Tell me, what should I do? I am such a lonely whale. I am surrounded by a lot of people, but I am all alone. I really want to communicate with people, but I cannot find sincere contact, I am afraid of people. What should I do?”

Answer: Tune in to the fact that there are no sincere contacts. Exist the way you exist. It is not called being a lonely whale. The whale also does not exist alone, but among many, many others, similar to and including him. So are we.

Comment: But it was said that the whale wanders around alone, that none hear it or see it. Martha thinks she is the same.

My Response: So, what? What Is wrong with that? I do not feel like a lonely whale. I do my own thing, communicate with a certain number of people, and so on. That is, it is not loneliness.

Question: Not loneliness. And if she has this loneliness?

Answer: This is how she feels.

Question: If she writes: “I’m afraid of people”? How can she overcome such a problem if it is not at the medical level? Fear of people, fear of contacts, there are the people who do not want this connection; they are afraid of it. What should be the result of their efforts?

Answer: The result is that they eventually find company in which they feel free.

Question: But we need to look from easy to difficult, with whom can I? Do not force yourself.

Answer: No! But you can join some clubs and chat with one or two women or men there.

Question: Please explain why you insist on contact. Why not tell a person: “Well, just exist the way you are”?

Answer: But she is complaining!

Comment: She complains, that is right. “I really want to communicate with people, but I cannot find a sincere contact.”

My Response: Sincere! She herself is not ready for sincere contact.

Question: Is that what you feel?

Answer: Of course.

Question: What kind of contact is sincere for you? For her, it is clear to me that she is looking for something like this for herself.

Answer: For me, a sincere contact is to find a book that would capture me. That is all.

Question: In general, what would you call a sincere contact?

Answer: When they understand you. But that is hardly good either. At the same time, a person has very little of himself left. It is true, we do not really want to open up.

Question: Yes, we are closed, of course. So, after all, what is sincere contact?

Answer: I do not know. This is when you feel comfortable with a person. But with whom can you be constantly calm?

Comment: This is also a problem.

My Response: Of course.

Question: A real contact, what is it?

Answer: Real contact is obviously when you love a person and want to make him feel good all the time.

Comment: You took it and suddenly turned everything around just like that. Instead of being good for me, you say: “So that it would be good for the other. And this is called contact.”

My Response: Yes when I feel that I want it to be good for him, create a pleasant atmosphere for him, a feeling.

Question: And if we are talking about the upper, about the Creator, what is a real contact?

Answer: This is already an equivalence of form. This is so that I can affect the Creator in the same way that He affects me. To do this, I need to change my nature, which, by the way, He made for me. So, I must ask Him to change it. This request is the contact.

Question: Can such a request be sincere?

Answer: Partly, until I really ask sincerely.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/23/23

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Question: An elderly couple that lived together for more than fifty years was asked how they managed to live together for so long? They answered that it must be because they were born and raised in the times when you fixed what was broken and did not throw them away.

Basically we are throwing away broken things today. Replacements come—no problem. If the relationship is completely broken, how can you fix it? People write to you all the time, and you insist on holding on to the end. But how do you hold on when everything has been broken and there is nothing left?

Answer: Have you lived together? Do you have children? Have your children given birth to grandchildren?

So you have to stay glued together somehow. For the sake of the children and grandchildren because they are your descendants, your consequence. Therefore, you must stay together for their sake. If only officially; it doesn’t matter how.

It means that you can live officially together. For them, you are together. You create this theater for grandchildren and children.

Question: And what does it give? Why are you so insistent on this?

Answer: This is called “family.”

Question: So family is grandchildren, children, and their parents? Is this a family?

Answer: Yes. All those alive and united with each other after all.

Question: Is there a root to this?

Answer: We have to keep this structure. It doesn’t matter whether you like it or not.

Comment: So this remains, even if it breaks me; if everything is already broken and I cannot tolerate the other…

Answer: Don’t pay attention. What’s the difference? What does “breaks” mean? You go on with your life, your wife goes on with her life, the children have their lives, the grandchildren have their lives, and so on. But you’re not breaking anything.

Question: So in a bad relationship, your advice is to act?

Answer: In any condition. You don’t even have to act; just don’t separate officially, don’t get divorced.

Comment: You are now obliging a person: “This is how you must live.”

Answer: If you are aimed at the family existing and at your descendants living within this framework, then you can uphold it. I think we must maintain this connection.

Question: What do you base this on? That this is a bad example for children and grandchildren? Now we are talking about elderly couples. Suddenly they decide to divorce, or suddenly they are in a bad relationship. Should they stick to it because it’s a bad example for children and grandchildren, and it may continue on?

Answer: That too. People should know that if they get married and have children, they should live, in a way, for the sake of the children.
[311045]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/23/23

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Question: You have reiterated that a man and a woman are by nature completely opposite to each other. They are two different perceptions of the world. Then how do they communicate with each other?

Where is the point of connection?

Answer: It is above them, in the Creator. Between husband and wife, the point of connection is the Creator. “Husband and wife, Divinity between them.”

Question: When you say the Creator, can you simplify it a little?

Answer: This is a common property of reciprocity, mutual support, love, and connection, created by a man and a woman. It goes particularly in this combination—a man and a woman.

Question: Do they have to understand this in advance before they start their relationship?

Answer: In general, yes. This must be the purpose for which they bond together.

Question: What is the purpose of these two different, polar people—a man and a woman?

Answer: The purpose is that through mutual assistance between them, they reach such a state, such a connection when they will “revolve” around each other and at the same time create a special form of existence—”I am for you, you are for me, and both of us are for the Creator between us.” As it is said: “Husband and wife, Divinity between them.”

Question: So that the Creator becomes the highest property of love, bestowal? And it grows, and grows, and grows?

Answer: Yes.
[311246]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/14/22

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Question: What is love?

Answer: Love is when you perceive the desires of another person above your own and strive to fulfill them.

Question: But isn’t classic love when there is a burning sensation in the heart?

Answer: I do not know about the burning in the heart. We need to ask the physiologists what can burn there. You are talking about some suffering, maybe bad feelings and experiences.

I, however, am talking about the fact that love is the desire to fulfill the desire of the other person by yourself at the expense of and above your own desires. It does not matter at all to you what will happen to you from this, because the most important thing for you is what will happen to him. This is earthly love, and not the one Kabbalah speaks about.

According to Kabbalah, love is an adhesion of two spiritual objects: the created being (man) and the Creator. Or rather, the soul and the Creator. Such adhesion is reached by the similarity of qualities when the soul and the Creator bestow to each other, fulfill each other, and therefore merge together and absolutely complete each other. This state is called love.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Love” 1/19/11

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Question: If we talk about the family of the future, what kind of agreement do they make when they get married?

Answer: An agreement that he or she should, first of all, think about the children, then about the spouse, and then about himself or herself. In general, this is very simple. I do not see any problems.

When they think in such a state and are guided by such thoughts, they will have no problems. Even if they will not live relatively closely together, because everything happens in life. I have seen many families who are happy and at the same time do not have close contact with each other.

Comment: So, they follow this formula if there are children.

My Response: They are good friends.

When we first of all demand love and devotion, it is wrong, it quickly leads to defeat. We even see in our lives that it does not work out.

Question: How does the Creator then make all these turns?

Answer: Because there is a difference between the level of an animal and the human level. We definitely should be ascending to it.

Question: What is the human level in this?

Answer: The human level is when I think of my spouse as a friend.
[311413]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/14/22

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Comment: Psychologists say that one of the factors to prevent divorces and quarrels is to sleep in a shared bed, necessarily under the same blanket where you must either settle the relationship or improve it. You have no where to go. They say that there should not be, in the literal sense, a gap between husband and wife, different beds, rooms.

As far as I understand, this is a modern view, it somehow differs from our forefathers. The male and female halves were separated then.

My Response: There has always been a separate male and female bed. They didn’t sleep together.

Question: Tell me then, why, from a spiritual point of view, should the male and female each have their own half, their own part?

Answer: Because initially we are two halves.

Question: And in us, in a person, is male and female also divided?

Answer: Of course!

Question: In every person?

Answer: Not only in every person. In every atom, in every piece of information. There is no such thing that the nine Sefirot and the tenth Malchut are connected. Only after they are ready for this, and on the basis of mutual collision does penetration occur. A new life is born out of this. But all this is only temporary. It is an act and nothing more.

Question: Now the basis is clear, why they should be separate. Then the question is will they ever be connected?

Answer: In no way, never! This will be a clear and correct interaction between creation and the Creator.

Question: Is this the union of male and female, where the Creator is male and creation is female?

Answer: Yes. This is the same as the question: Will egoism ever disappear? It won’t disappear. It will be used correctly in our connection.

Question: Then the Kabbalistic question is: “And what is the final correction?“

Answer: It is when egoism and altruism interact with each other correctly and maintain a clear balance between each other.

Altruism is male, and egoism is the female inclination. They understand that one cannot manifest without the other.
[310956]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/4/22

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The male and female parts of the group are two mutually opposite forces that must act in a certain harmony and connection.

When they have one goal, they can really achieve a lot. Without the development of a female stabilization system, a man will rush forward and only tear everything apart, just as it happens in our world.

The male part or man can move forward correctly and receive help from above only when he has a special, developed stabilizing part that holds him back, and gives his striving forward the right direction, the right pace of development.

A man must understand that he cannot develop alone, he needs a stabilizing female part, and in order to move forward together, he rushes forward, and now he is alone.

The female part must know that she is doing everything to stabilize this common part, but not to prevent a man from moving forward, but rather to be ready to be for him, to really be the part that supports and protects him, like a mother of a little son.

In some ways such a relationship remains for life: the wife is a little to the side of a mother, and the husband in the aspect of a little son.

Question: What is the ideal combination of female support for a person who follows the path of Kabbalah?

Answer: The ideal combination of female support is when a wife studies with her husband, understands his occupation, his movements, aspirations, his flare-ups, falls, weaknesses, strengths, and his peculiarities thanks to which he can develop spiritually, and her exclusivity in supporting him, to prevent him from going beyond the boundaries of the correct “path” along which he must move toward the goal.
[310591]
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Women’s Friendship” 10/27/12

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Question: What parallels can be drawn between the relationship of a man and a woman compared with the Creator and the creation?

Answer: All the movements, connections, rapprochements, and distancing that exist between the Creator and the creation happen between a man and a woman because these states in spirituality are the source of gender separation in our world.

In the beginning, there was no world at all, no humanity, and no separation of people. They appeared precisely because the Creator created the creation—something that receives from the Creator.

The Creator is considered a masculine force, creative and developing. Creation is a female force, receiving, multiplying, and expanding, which, by its development, comes to the perception of the Creator and the desire to become one with Him. It is in the purpose of creation.

In the corporeal world in our biological protein bodies, this is realized on the earthly level. Correct implementation at the protein level is also necessary for the entire creation at all its levels in order to come to the correct state. There is nothing beyond this unity.

Therefore, Kabbalah, studies this unity in forces and understands everything that happens in nature at all levels—between people, between parts of nature, and in human society—and that a person, based on his nature, creates all kinds of political, economic, commercial, family, and other systems.

Kabbalah is a universal wisdom because it operates with the most universal things: two forces, the Creator and creation. It explains how they gradually, through a hierarchy, descend through the four worlds, form our world, and in it, reach the same realization. Everything is very simple.
[309809]
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. A Man and a Woman, an Eternal Orgasm” 6/16/12

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In the corporeal world we very often observe the beginning and the end of relationships between a man and a woman because our world is built on an egoistic basis. This cannot happen in the spiritual world because there is a constant continuity, an “eternal orgasm.”

Question: What is the ideal use of spiritual rules for a person’s protein life?

Answer: It is to become like the relationship between the Creator and the creation! This is the purpose of our existence here—to learn about the eternal, great, and powerful contact with the Creator and build it at all levels from the world of infinity to our world. This is the final correction of man. And the rest of nature is also included in man.

The ideal relationship between a man and a woman will happen when they begin to complement each other correctly so that the Creator, the force of bestowal and love, is revealed between them. This cannot happen if there is no upper attainment.

Therefore, nothing can be solved at the level of our world.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Man and Woman – Eternal Orgasm” 7/15/12

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Question: What satisfies a woman?

Answer: You need to say good words to women all of the time and nothing else. She doesn’t require much. Show her your affection, care, and love, and she will do everything for you.

I’m not talking about a woman like she is some kind of a pet. The female nature is such that she is ready to do everything for a good attitude from you. But this must be taught.

Question: What attracts men to women?

Answer: Care, affection, and warmth attract men. A woman can easily manage in life because she serves him; that is, she replaces his mother.

Question: What does it mean to love a woman?

Answer: Loving a woman means to feel that you need her and to show her that.
[308129]
From KabTV’s “Blitz Questions and Answers” 1/6/23

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