Marriage Contract Or Evolution Of Egoism
Question: What is your attitude to the fact that now the family is based on the principles of the marriage contract? Moreover, everyone tries to win at the expense of the other and run away from responsibility, if something happens to a partner, if he gets sick, etc.
Answer: So you come to me with a broken leg and ask: “How can I jump from the second floor?” and you cannot even walk. That is, you have come to me with a problem and are trying to solve another one with its help.
The initial problem is education. Today we cannot demand from a couple who is going to unite some unrealizable, completely unrealistic conditions when they are absolutely not prepared for it.
Nobody taught them this, nobody educated them, nobody raised them to the required level. They grew up on television shows, beer, cigarettes, and discos. Now they suddenly decide: “Let’s move in, we will live together. Okay, let’s get married.” And that’s all.
They act in accordance with the way they were raised. How can you demand something from them? Or what can they demand from each other? Of course, nothing. They do not ask each other the simplest life questions: “Where are we going to get money for living? How are you going to provide for the family? What kind of upbringing are you going to give our children?” Nobody talks about it.
Therefore, the problem here is not in marriage, not in the marriage contract or agreement, but in educating such people from infancy who will then come in the right way to creating a family. Yet, when they are going to sign an agreement between them or just decide to move in together, it’s too late to talk about it.
If a person was brought up to think only of himself, nothing is going to help him, and you will not force him to do anything. All the same, he will avoid alimony and you will not even want to deal with him.
There is absolutely no such concept as duty in the new generation. My place in the world, in nature, me as a father, as a husband, as a man, as a citizen, as a soldier; there is no such thing! No! And this is natural. Our egoism was developing all the time and we did not give it the appropriate framework, a program for its correct behavior.
Comment: We were constantly trying to restrain it.
My Response: This is all we did, we were constantly putting pressure on egoism and it broke free. In the end, it broke free. “You can’t do anything to me!” This is what any small child declares to his parents.
Indeed, try to slap him, he will go to the police (children already know that you can go to the police). That’s it. This is where it all starts, with absolute freedom. If you try to stop serving him, he will also go to the police: you owe him.
On the one hand, you have no right to put pressure on him with your education; on the other hand, you are obliged to completely serve him. Modern children know this very well. They are ready to use this without any sentimentality. You cannot command them, and you are not an authority for them.
This is egoism. I do not blame them at all. This is how our egoism grows within us. If I were in their place, I would be the same.
If we considered the evolution of egoism in us correctly, then in accordance with this we would give children the correct program of behavior so that they would be happy in the end. If we really took care of them sensibly, correctly, then all this would not have happened. However, today, when you already have a broken leg and tell me: “I want to jump,” you have to wait until it mends, you need to do something with it, treat it.
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Marriage contract” 8/19/09
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