Question: Every morning we get up and say: “We have to get up early for work. We have to make another business call. We have to exercise. We have to write an article. We have to go to our son’s game.” And by replacing only two words in these sentences, we can change the general approach to life. You do not “have to”—”you can.”

You can get up early for work. You can make another call. You can prepare dinner for the whole family. And the perception of life, the perception of everything that happens in it, changes.

What is the advantage and what is the distinction between the two attitudes: “has to” or “can”?

Answer: It depends on one’s perception of the world. I either want absolute peace and agree, like Oblomov, to lie in bed all the time, I have everything, I do not want anything, I will wait for the day I die. So what?

Or I feel that this life is worthy of being able to fix something in it, achieve something else, become different. And then I rejoice at the opportunity before me. It depends on what kind of attitude you have to life: creative or consumeristic.

Question: Does the consumer attitude lead a person to the point of “I have to” or “I can”?

Answer: I want and that is it. I want to use everyone and everything—this is the consumer attitude to life. And the opposite is to use this life to rise to its next level.

Question: Life means that there is always an opportunity to use every state?

Answer: There is always an opportunity in life. Always look for an opportunity and seize it.

Question: Then I have a few questions and please comment on them.

The biggest obstacle is fear. Is it true?

Answer: Uncertainty and fear immobilize a person, closes and “cans” him, that is, deprive him of the opportunity to act.

Comment: The biggest mistake is to lose heart.

My Response: This is also true. “The biggest,” I don’t know. But it is a big mistake. The biggest one is to disconnect from the Creator.

Question: So you still need to be connected to Him?

Answer: And without connection to the Creator where will the forces come from? Where will the direction come from? Where will the appeal to the one who corrects and does everything come from? I am not doing all this. I simply must turn right to Him for Him to do everything.

Comment: The most dangerous person is a liar.

My Response: Yes. But I do not listen to them so I do not think they are dangerous people. If only someone really asks for help, spiritual help—to find a goal in life, strength to realize this goal—then I hear, but otherwise, no. Therefore, no one can seduce me.

Question: Who, then, is the most dangerous person?

Answer: For man, the most dangerous person is himself. Who can harm him except himself? No one.

Question: And how can he harm?

Answer: By the fact that he listens to himself, to his egoism. Trusting his beloved self.

Question: Who needs to be trusted?

Answer: The teacher or the Creator. This is, in principle, the same thing.

Comment: The most insidious feeling is envy.

My Response: This is the most wonderful feeling if a person can correctly implement it. There is nothing better than envy! There is nothing more, generally, there is nothing better than envy to move forward.

Question: Can you give an exercise on how to use envy correctly?

Answer: You must first find a goal, and then envy everything that leads to this goal.

Comment: The most beautiful act is to forgive.

My Response: The most beautiful act—it is not to forgive. The most beautiful act is to direct a person to the truth.

You do not have to forgive anything. The Creator forgives nothing! There is judgment, continuous judgment. And thanks to the fact that nothing is forgiven, we understand where we are wrong, and we can correct ourselves.

Question: And in relations between people, should a person judge himself or others?

Answer: Why should I judge someone, or myself, or others? I judge the Creator, I always go to Him, and so I check everything with Him. This is called “I judge Him.” Then there is no offense, no reason for forgiveness. Everything is checked only in relation to the goal.

Comment: The best protection is a smile.

My Response: I do not think so. It seems to me that a smile, to the contrary, can be perceived as mockery, disdain, and condescension.

It is best to show a person that you do not consider him at all, that you are directed only at your goal, and he has nothing to do with it. And therefore, you don’t treat him well or badly, but you relate to him to the extent that you can show him what is worth paying attention to in life.

Comment: The most powerful force is faith.

My Response: By faith I understand something completely different from what ordinary people understand, and therefore I believe that there is no greater error in life than faith. There is nothing more harmful in life than a person who believes.

Faith in Kabbalah is the ability to be above your egoistic principles and just give everything. The power of bestowal is the power of faith in a person. That is, it is an active force that helps a person to rise above his egoistic nature: the property of Bina over the property of Malchut. Only in this way.

Otherwise, faith is I closed my eyes and left.

Comment: The best support is hope.

My Response: No. We cannot hope. There should be hope only to the extent that I grant myself correct advancement.

In Kabbalah, the surrounding light is called hope. It has not yet entered you, but it already shines on you because you are correctly directed toward the goal. That is, hope is a very serious advancement. Measured! Everything is deterministic

Comment: The best gift is love

My Response: The best gift is love. Yes! But by love we mean absolute merging with other desires in the general fulfillment by the Creator.

Comment: A person strives all his life for love, for hope, for support.

My Response: This is from weakness, from ignorance, inability, and the fact that he is just a lazy person. The whole culture of being positive refers to weakness, laziness, and slovenliness.

Comment: Therefore, some researchers advise against the urge to strive to be happy.

My Response: No, you really need to be happy. You just need to find out what kind of state it is to be happy. What is absolute happiness? Merging with the higher force because it is absolute.

Question: And then what does the person receive?

Answer: He receives the same state the higher force is in. His benefit is that he becomes equal to the Creator. There is no state more perfect.

Question: How does this distinguish him from an ordinary person?

Answer: An ordinary person is a small egoistic animal looking all the time for a warm corner. And a person who achieves merging with the Creator does not need to look for this warm corner, he is already in it, truly in the most comfortable state.

Question: And at the same time, people are striving for the positive, striving for absolute happiness that they cannot grasp. When faced with troubles, with strong grief, illness, or tragic situations, they keep silent about them. Is this a correct attitude?

Answer: No, by no means. A person must react very vividly to any manifestations in his life of bad and good traits, qualities, forces, and phenomena in order to format himself according to the highest state. Otherwise, he will miss his whole life.

Question: And if something tragic happens in a person’s life, how can he use this state?

Answer: Measure this tragic component in his life with respect to the absolute: is it de facto tragic, or maybe they want to bring him closer to the truth with a very strong influence.

Question: And what does a person need to do?

Answer: He goes to clearly find out the purpose, the truth, the central state of the world.

Question: Accepting the negative in order to direct everything toward the goal, is this a skill that can be learned?

Answer: To do this, you need to be in school, in the study of Kabbalah. To do this, you need to be in a certain state, in a certain atmosphere, encircled, and then it will work out.

Comment: Researchers say older people learn to accept negative things more easily to push them toward goals than younger people.

My Response: Naturally, this comes from life experience. But, in principle, this has nothing to do with Kabbalah.
[289340]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/17/19

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Question: As a consequence of the pandemic, now there is a growing crisis in the production of microprocessors, microchips that are literally in everything, from cars to phones. On one hand all things are becoming smart; on the other hand crises in their production is growing.

Therefore the production of cars, phones, etc. is being reduced. For those who produce microprocessors, the queues are scheduled for several years ahead. This means store shelves will begin to empty after some time; a global shortage of smart equipment is coming.

What is the future of smart technologies for humanity in terms of consumption?

Answer: I don’t see anything wrong with that. Of course, I’m not in favor of collecting all the books and burning them. But if we won’t be chasing microchips in every refrigerator and in every iron, I don’t think we will suffer from it.

On the contrary, we will be able to devote more time to our ordinary everyday life; we will learn to receive small joys from the world, from family, from children. I believe that all this technology is a huge failure of humanity in trying to occupy itself with such toys.

Question: It is excessive consumption. On the other hand, this technique, as if from the outside, demonstrates to a person the external connection of things. And if this does not develop, will the connection shift into some internal things?

Answer: Of course. Why wouldn’t we go back to somewhere in the last century in a village, with the right books, maybe even with the right computer, but without the Internet, without everything that clogs our brains and takes up time?

Why can’t we normally, calmly surround ourselves with smart things that will make us smarter, and not just turn us into idiots using the achievements of others who are also worthless?

I believe that the time has long come to make a reassessment of values.

Any development always comes to something. So I think this will too. The only problem is that in our time, too many people, based on purely mercantile interests, are interested in everything continuing the way it is. Therefore there is not much hope that the change will happen peacefully. But on the other hand I’m sure this will end soon.
[289388]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 10/19/21

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Question: Is it possible to heal loneliness?

Answer: Yes. Loneliness is actually a blessing, but we just need to make sure that loneliness doesn’t lead us to all sorts of unnecessary and undesirable consequences. Because if lonely people suffer from their loneliness, they are ready to do anything. They can become radical extremists and so on, and they can also engage in drug abuse and commit suicide.

We need to look at different kinds of loneliness. If it is intellectual loneliness, it is a blessing for a person and for humanity. If it is not intellectual but scientific, it can also be a blessing, although today’s science is conducted increasingly more in groups. But if it is psychiatric, psychological loneliness, it should be looked into and we need to help a person balance it somehow.

Everything depends on whether a person feels comfortable being lonely. When my loneliness is invaded, it is very hard for me. I can stand a person for a while and then I can’t do it anymore. I need to leave, to retire, to be by myself, to be alone.

Question: What is correct loneliness?

Answer: Correct loneliness is that which leads to one’s internal development.

I understand a person as an entity, each one spends part of his time totally on his own, inside himself, contemplating and reflecting on different matters. He spends a small part of his time with others. On the whole he “lies” when he is with others, and tries to make a certain impression and thus acts and presents a different person, not himself.

How can a person not be lonely? It is possible to make him not feel lonely if you educate him correctly. It is possible to educate a person at any age. It means that you need to show him that he can gain from the right form of loneliness.

If he understands that only by the right connection with another person can he reveal the upper world, transcend the boundaries of life and death, of his own existence, it already sounds enticing.

Question: What does the right connection with another come down to and how can it be attained?

Answer: The right connection is when one person seemingly dwells in another. This is what is referred to by “make your desire the desire of another.” By doing so, when I exit myself and dwell in another, which means that I begin to work on the desires of another and to fill them instead of filling my own desires, by using my whole physical and creative potential in order to fill another, I seemingly move to dwell in him. I seemingly begin to feel that life flows through him.

This is a totally different life; this is spiritual life. Why is it spiritual if it is a person like me? It is because I become another by trying to feel him instead of myself, which means that I exit myself. It is as if my body dies, and I with all my intellect move to dwell inside him. This is where a person can exit his own body.

Question: Can it be any other person, like a donor, in order to feel that I am alive, happy and fulfilled?

Answer: Yes. By moving to dwell in another you roam in a totally different space.

Question: And this is the remedy for loneliness?

Answer: It is not only the remedy for loneliness, but the remedy for death. It is a remedy that makes you immortal, in order to attain perfection and to ascend above yourself, above your ego.
[254231]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/27/19

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We cannot express concepts of the upper world in words or letters from our world because our whole lexicon reflects sensations from our five senses. The greatest difficulty is when we have to express certain knowledge in words and publish it for the sake of discussion as is customary in scientific research. This is the reason that a Kabbalist has to use definitions that are absolutely accurate.

We encounter a double problem here.

On one hand the wisdom of Kabbalah is the wisdom of attaining the law of nature, but attaining that internal part, the internal layer of nature that we do not feel through our five senses or instruments we invent. Basically there is no way of feeling this internal layer of nature called the upper world, which the wisdom of Kabbalah tells us about, inside of us or through instruments that we can build.

Special actions that are connected according to special laws take place there, laws of reception and bestowal, of ascent and descent. In general, there are certain forces, their actions, and their consequences. Unfortunately we cannot see that with our corporeal senses.

Just as we can speak about atoms and molecules in our world, but if all these micro, macro, and other processes are not perceived by our senses, there is nothing we can do. Until we invent certain devices, we cannot feel them.

And in Kabbalah, we can create this instrument inside us. It is impossible to reveal the upper world, the Partzufim, the Sefirot, the worlds, etc. by any external instrument. It is all only on the level of our personal, internal attainment.

So, in order to begin to feel the upper world, its laws, its attributes, and its actions, we must bring ourselves to a more sensitive state, increase our sensitivity, and bring our qualities to such a level that we will be able to feel what happens in the basis of our world, at its foundation.

Second, we cannot express what we feel. This is the reason why Kabbalists had to invent a special language that would reflect our five special senses. We call them by names that we do not understand, such as: Kli (vessel), Ohr (light), Masach (screen), Ohr Hozer (reflecting light), etc. This means that Kabbalists make definitions for themselves and ordinary people do not understand where they got them from.

As we advance in the study of the wisdom of Kabbalah, we begin to feel there are accurate actions behind these names and terms. We begin to feel that very fine changes are actually taking place here as a result of our efforts, and we can determine the level of our actions, which means that everything is gradually included in our lexicon of concepts and later in our sensory attainments.

This study and its gradual internal development bring us to a gradual understanding of the language that Kabbalah books are written in. It is called the language of branches. In other words, there are roots in the upper world, and in our world there are branches of these roots that we can feel and study. Thus, we can determine their roots according to their names and according to their actions and attributes.
[254025]
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah” 10/6/19

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Question: A very interesting law has been passed in Norway. It prohibits the publication on social networks—on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Twitter—of retouched images without special marking.

So if a blogger alters a picture, changes the proportions of the body, face, improves its appearance, applies a filter or mask, which they do all the time, then they must note the editing done.

The goal here is very simple: to combat the imposition of unrealistic beauty standards. Because children who are watch these are influenced by them. They get plastic surgery; they want to be like the photo! In fact what they see is fiction. How can a person come to the conclusion that this does not affect him or her, to an understanding of another kind of beauty?

Answer: This is impossible, a person is drawn to beauty.

Comment: But this is not beauty.

My Response: If this is set by society as a standard, then it becomes a standard of beauty.

Comment: But you want the person to walk differently.

My Response: I have other standards of beauty. I love beauty that is more delicate, more natural, harmonious. But when there is an unnatural face and pouting lips on it, it’s a horror!

Question: But still, I want to ask even more deeply about inner beauty. Will we ever come to understand it?

Answer: Our society is so far from this that I just have no idea how to talk about it. This must come through great revolutions.

Question: If, for example, I come to the understanding that inner beauty is much more important than everything external, do I notice this external beauty in a person?

Answer: You still remain human.

Question: So I still have an internal mark—is he a handsome person?

Answer: Yes. Moreover, you have even more subtle taste. You have an even greater need to see harmony in everything. Your beauty already lies in harmony. And if you see harmony, then you enjoy it.

Question: What is the inner beauty of a person for you? What is it?

Answer: The inner beauty of a person is when he sees the possibility of justice and even good, but at least justice, in everything around him, when everything is balanced according to the spiritual law “buy and sell,” that is, the law of receiving and giving.

Question: An internally beautiful person feels the absolute harmony of everything that exists around him?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And there is no evil?

Answer: Nothing! He puts himself in line with the Creator! And nothing can be bad, dirty, or disgusting. Everything is in perfect harmony. Because he sees not an external manifestation, but a force that controls all of creation from within.

Comment: It is beautiful that the spiritual also reflects the material. I thought that a person no longer pays attention to anything. And you say the opposite.

My Response: No! Moreover, it is written that when approaching complete correction, the taste of copulation and the understanding of beauty remain only with Kabbalists. This is very difficult.

Question: So only Kabbalists can truly enjoy both materially and internally?

Answer: Yes. They see this as the work of the Creator.
[288625]
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 9/2/21

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Comment: An interesting article appeared in Rosbalt “Therapist Explained why Motherhood Is in Crisis” in which, “The expert [Otta Maria Bloch] recalled that motherhood is in general going through a crisis these days, and among the reasons is not only the changed position of a woman, who must have time to make a career, and raise children, and remain a loving wife.

“’The attitude towards motherhood is also influenced by the growing speed of life, a dense information background, and a shift in values ​​towards self-love. Now for many, success is financial well-being, the ability to have fun here and now, without investing much effort in it. And parenting in itself presupposes not receiving, but giving, ”noted Maria Blokh.

Question: What is your comment about this?

Answer: We have come to such selfishness that we do not want children! We do not want to raise children, we do not want to give even to our children. Let them grow as they like or let the state provide for them and take care of them. Not us.

This is motherhood in crisis, this is family in crisis in general. And what is a family if there are no children? If earlier people were against boarding schools, kindergartens, and other such institutions, today it is the other way around: “How can I send my child somewhere so that I could take care of myself,” says a modern woman.

Comment: Will we return to normal motherhood?

My Response: I think we will. Through suffering, but it will come.

Question: Is it correct to say that parenting itself does not involve receiving but giving?

Answer: Of course.

Question: So we have a crisis in bestowal?

Answer: Yes. In general, all nature is built on the fact that we learn through our attitude toward children to give, then to give to others: adults, others, society, and then to all of nature.

Question: But we see that a mother immensely enjoys when her child smiles at her or takes a spoonful of porridge. We see that this is a great pleasure. Where does it go? Why don’t they want to continue this further, to give birth to more children?

Answer: They are not to blame. Nature made them this way. It wants people to realize how selfish they are, that this selfishness drives them and therefore, they are okay mothers.

Question: How can you otherwise give birth?

Answer: You must first change the goal and then give birth.

Question: What should the goal be? Why am I giving birth to a child?

Answer: Only for the sake of the world. So that there are more good, righteous people in the world I will give birth and raise my children this way. This is why I give birth to them. We have grown to the point where we must correctly deal with the intention: What is the reason I am doing it?

Question: That is, the intention will become the main thing when I give birth to a child?

Answer: Yes. First the intention, then the action.

Question: Is that why this crisis is happening now?

Answer: Yes.

Question: But will this happen?

Answer: It will definitely happen!

Question: And this is how they will give birth to children?

Answer: Yes. And it will be a new world.

Question: Will these children be happier?

Answer: Of course! They will be taken care of in a different way, and they will feel that they are being born in a new world, and they will want to live in this world.

Question: Will mothers be happier too?

Answer: Of course. They will know why their child grows, lives, and exists. They will feel the very nature of the infinite.
[288261]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/12/21

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Do you agree with Daniel Craig’s decision not to leave a large sum of money to his children as inheritance?“

By giving children more than what they need in order to start building themselves, it will just corrupt them in the end.

Love encompasses giving your children opportunities to develop, to enjoy the fruits of their own labor, by providing them with a good education and a profession that they will enjoy and make a living from.

A father’s love is expressed through encouragement and motivation, i.e., in giving the first push. The children will not understand this at the time of the push, but the understanding will settle later.

Based on “Should You Leave Your Children a Big Inheritance? | Kabbalist’s View with Dr. Michael Laitman.” Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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New Life 1320 – The Generation Gap
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

Nature creates generation gaps so that humanity will advance. It is impossible to convey the wisdom of life to younger generations, so we need to establish an environment that reflects positive values. If an adult has a desire to give, he should try to learn what is good for the young person and give that. A parent should be close to his child, like a friend, so that he can speak to him freely about everything without moralizing or criticizing.

Only love can help us communicate and bridge the generation gap. We should show a child that if he does something wrong, he makes us change our attitude toward him. There is a wide pipeline between our child and us through which love constantly flows, but the key to the tap is in the hands of the child.
[288457]
From KabTV’s “New Life 1320 – The Generation Gap,” 10/10/21

Video: Play Now | Download

Audio: Play Now | Download

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In the News (CityinFocus): “In December of 2012, Spanish athlete Iván Fernández Anaya was competing in a cross-country race in Spain. He was running second, some distance behind race leader Abel Mutai (bronze medalist in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the London Olympics). Close to the finish line, Iván saw Abel–certain to be the winner of the race–pull up about 10 meters before the finish line. He had become confused by the signage and stopped, thinking he had already completed the race.

“Iván was right behind him and, realizing what was happening, started shouting at the Kenyan to continue running, but Abel didn’t understand Spanish. Realizing what was taking place, Iván approached Abel and gently pushed him forward to victory.

“When a journalist asked Iván, ‘Why did you do that?’ he replied, ‘My dream is that someday we can have a kind of community life where we push and help each other to win.’ The journalist insisted, ‘But why did you let the Kenyan win?’ Iván responded, ‘I didn’t let him win; he was going to win. The race was his.’ The journalist again said, ‘But you could have won!’ Iván looked at him and replied, ‘But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honour in that medal? What would my mother think of that?’ The world has made Iván a hero, pointing to him as an icon of sportsmanship.

Answer: This is some answer! That is, his mother apparently is a mother who would shame him for not doing this. This is upbringing.

Question: The shame that someone feels, is it good?

Answer: It means a lot, of course. Moreover, it involves his mom.

Comment: This was almost the main factor for him, apparently.

My Response: Yes. If the Olympic athlete says so it is great!

Question: Why don’t we live like this? So, I read this, and I immediately have such a warm feeling.

Answer: Of course! This man showed the real Man within.

Comment: This is sport!

My Response: Yes, undoubtedly! Not what we have today: dope, cheating, anything to win.

Question: So, do you think that a huge degradation has happened since 2012?

Answer: It happened of course. But still, you see, there are people who cannot go for it.

Question: Why does a person not adjust himself to live like this? Why doesn’t humanity come to this?

Answer: A person should still receive satisfaction even from this. We are not talking about him going by faith above reason, about bestowing against his nature, and so on. But within his nature, through education, he can make it so that he cannot steal, he cannot betray, he cannot do something that is against people, against others. Education means a lot.

Question: Do you think that education can achieve this?

Answer: Not in the form that we talk about in Kabbalah, but it is possible. At least universal human values can be achieved by education.

Question: From the point of view of Kabbalah, does this spark of goodness and bestowal exist in a person? Is it there or not?

Answer: Every person has it. Everyone! Absolutely! It all depends only on the style of upbringing and the intensity of upbringing, the ability to educate, etc. so that it would be possible to instill bestowal above reception in a person, so that he could even give his life for the life of another.

These are not spiritual qualities yet, but this is something that would, of course, be incomparably better, some indicators in human society in comparison with what we have today.

Today everything is directed only at me, someone beloved, dear, and unique—by all means

Question: And what does education lead to in Kabbalah? For this spark to turn to fire?

Answer: In Kabbalah, this is very specific. That is, it is necessary to convince a person that it is impossible to live differently because everything is programmed by nature. And after that, to explain to him where to get this supernatural force of nature, which must replace his egoism.

Comment: That is, instead of living for yourself, live for others. You can find it only outside yourself. You will not find it in yourself.

My Response: You cannot find it. And education will not help here. Education works at human level, but this is above human.
[287310]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/5/21

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Question: The Chinese authorities have banned children from playing video games for more than three hours a week. They are only allowed to play for one hour on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and on holidays from 8 pm to 9. This is how China is fighting with children’s addiction to video games.

It is clear that a lot of video games are harmful to children. For China, such a ban system will work. And for the world?

Answer: Eventually, it will not work for China or for the world. Children, if they are interested, will invent other ways out of this. We will have to make some other game.

Question: But how to get children out of this addiction? They shoot there, kill, do not leave these games and live in them.

Answer: There is no way to get them out of it yet. I don’t see that it is possible to invent something today for all the children to move to something different instead of video games.

Question: If possible, give advice to parents who moan and cry that children do not leave these games, sit for days and nights. What to do?

Answer: The global solution across the Internet is to disconnect! Do something so that you can be on these sites for no more than three hours.

Question: So you are in favor of prohibitive methods?

Answer: Education is always based on the carrot and the stick; otherwise, it is impossible to raise a person from a small animal.

Education is when you eventually impose it on him, and he gradually acquires a different scale of values.

Question: What scale of values should he acquire? What would you like the little man to acquire?

Answer: He must see the task before him. Let’s say at the end of the week or even at the end of the day to provide some work, not heavy, but work that still requires some effort, time, communication, ingenuity, that is, everything that you want to develop in him. And he can’t buy off or take it from someone in any way for any money. Then he will have to not sit for 10 hours in these games, but do this task after all.

Question: And what would you personally like to develop in a little man?

Answer: Real education is an example.

Question: And what kind of father and mother should be in front of him?

Answer: The kind that have a goal in life, and they seriously want to achieve this goal. And they work every day to achieve this goal.
[288341]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/2/21

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