Pray For The Deficiency, Not The Fulfillment
The entire universe is a lack of fulfillment, the desire to enjoy, to grow, and to fulfill oneself. This desire works instinctively in the whole creation: in inanimate matter, plants, animals, and human beings, and therefore, they are searching, craving, and fighting with each other for survival. This is every created being’s tendency.
The Creator is approaching the created being and it starts feeling some kind of discomfort, without understanding where it comes from. The created being does not know what exactly it is lacking, but it starts to search for fulfillment. The Creator initiates the approach by coming closer to the created being, and the created being suffers from it, wants to eliminate this suffering, and therefore, seeks fulfillment. This is what happens in everyday life.
However, there are people who are able to advance to the goal by the way of accelerating time (Achishena). They themselves take the process of their development into their own hands, gradually awakening a sense of deficiency in themselves. After many ascents and descents, moving farther or closer to the Creator, they realize exactly what to do. Their life then becomes more purpose-driven. They understand what is going on and how to act, how to become the Creator’s partners.
The Creator no longer advances them instinctively like all other created beings that do not understand what they are doing but simply react in a predetermined way to the Creator’s influence according to the instinct inherent in them. We see this behavior in all of nature. Although a person is assembled with more complexity than others, there is nothing special in him that makes him an independent creature. The Creator, the force of nature, acts in everything.
If people aspire to find out what goal they should reach and through what means, they can accelerate their development, awakening in themselves on their own a desire to sense the lack and its fulfillment. With the help of these two forces, they can walk, like on two legs, and significantly accelerate their path.
They understand where they are going and with whom they are dealing, and therefore, the path becomes clearer, more emotional, and conscious for them. They discover the forces acting upon them and understand the system in which they exist, that is, they reveal the upper world. It all depends on our attitude to the states we undergo and to the forces governing us.1
You can wait until you feel the suffering or you can search for the deficiency even before you start feeling it. If I want to eliminate the problem that has already been revealed, it is a natural reaction. The true deficiency is not the one that is revealed by itself but the one I awaken by myself, wanting to discover it in me. This means that I myself awaken the darkness that precedes the dawn.2
Evil can have many forms. Maybe I am in a bad mood, and this is evil. Or I have become disillusioned with the spiritual path and do not understand what I am wasting my life on—this is also evil. The Creator does not reveal Himself to me, the friends do not help me and forget about me—also evil. Then I discover that all the evil is within me. But the Creator created me this way.
A person decides by him or herself what to consider as evil. You should be very sensitive to what kinds of evil you feel; after all, advancement is precisely in this: how many types of evil I can distinguish and start to examine.
Either I reveal the evil by myself or the Creator reveals it to me. It is important what is considered as evil. If the Creator, the force of bestowal and love, comes closer to me, an egoist, I feel bad. After all, this force is opposite to me and its nearing brings me suffering.
The Creator is not revealed to my will to receive as the force of love. This love is above my egoism, above reason, and if the Creator openly approached us now, it would be very unpleasant for us. The force of bestowal would be revealed, which we absolutely do not belong to. To ask for this force to fill me completely is worse than death for my egoism. Therefore, we are ready to accept any state, but not the force of bestowal.
We should ask for unity, connection with others, and pray for the common Kli, not for its fulfillment. If our connection is revealed, we will be able to tolerate the force of bestowal within it.3
Perhaps I am afraid that I will reveal to what extent I am opposite to the will to bestow. Therefore, I subconsciously, instinctively protect myself, not letting myself come closer to it. I find some kind of external orbit that lets me keep the balance: I participate somewhat in the group, but I do not really join it, I do not go beyond my abilities.
Here the question arises: can the group push me, pull me close, so I would feel that there is no way out and that I must ask for strength from the friends to help me become included in the group above my nature. This is what it means to awaken the pre-dawn darkness: despite the darkness, rejection, fear, unwillingness, and confusion, to go toward connection and move forward.4
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/11/19, Prayer
1 Minute 0:20
2 Minute 24:30
3 Minute 38:15
A Deficiency Worthy Of Our Effort
Revealing The Deficiency For The Greatness Of The Creator Between Us
Time To Awaken The Deficiency And Shorten Time