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Family, This Is Eternal Renewal

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: You said that with the help of the mind it is possible to awaken emotion and emotion awakens the power of love. After I heard this, I felt a happiness that remained with me all day. Towards the evening I was not tired even though I worked until it was late.

More than that, in the place where I teach, the spirit of love and happiness also passed to the students. Within an hour they were “stuck” to my feeling. And in general, everyone I was in contact with that day absorbed this spirit. And so I paid attention that a clear link exists between love and happiness. What is that link?

Answer: Happiness is collateral and proof that you are found in the good right spirit. Certainly it is possible to feel this even while carrying out crimes, but if it comes as a result of a good deed, it concludes and proves that the deed has been done in the right way.

Question: With the supposition that the mind makes it possible to awaken the power of love, is it prepared to awaken longing in us?

Answer: Everything depends specifically on the mind, on the brain. Everything is found in the head. We come into the world like “little wild animals” and begin to adopt values after that from the environment, from parents, kindergarten, school, television, the Internet and additional outside forces. All the values that are crystallized later establish all my happiness and disappointment.

Ultimately everything is artificial, everything is according to discernments that we acquire from outside. In the beginning the discernments were mental, but after that with the influence of the environment they become a measuring rod according to which I evaluate my condition; and as a result I am happy or sad. If I adapt to the environmental measuring rod, it is pleasant for me, and if not, I become sad.

So everything in me is constructed according to the mind, which combines with the first unprejudiced comprehension of the infant and an inner picture is molded from it that makes self-assessment possible, bad or good. I have nothing fundamental or basic of my own, rather everything depends upon the opinion of the environment. Therefore isolated people who live somewhere in a forest, who compared to us lack everything, can be happy about life, since according to their measuring rod they have everything they need. For us this would be a bitter fate; whereas they are happy with their lot.

Here is hidden the key to happiness.

Question: The force of attraction between couples that appears spontaneously begins to fade with time…

Answer: Right, the initial enthusiasm doesn’t last long. According to the data of biologists, the hormone secretion lasts up to three years. Incidentally, we can take hormones artificially and “light the fire” through this. This is possible. But the natural enthusiasm is for three years at the most. They say that this is the amount of time that would be enough for a man to support a woman before birth and during two years of breastfeeding. In other words, nature no longer links a father to a mother and to a child.

It is clear that in our time, as a result of various external influences, conditions have changed. But there is a basis in human biology.

And so, in the beginning, there is a hormonal character to our passion and later we can renew it with the help of mutual mental work that makes it possible to give shape to a feeling about the partner.

But first of all we must clarify why the natural attraction is weakened. It could be that this is about physical problems, even though these are isolated cases.

I would suppose that there are psychological problems with 90% of couples. And here a game solves everything. For if this is already talking about psychology, then everything is in our hands, we can solve these problems. It is clear that we need to maintain sexual intercourse between the partners and it is necessary to excite them because this gives them a feeling of connection. This is because without such a system of relationships, the family would not exist for long in its true form nor as an official connection. Without physical contact there is no feeling of intimacy, sharing, or family unit. That is how we build it. And therefore we are obliged to strive for sexual intercourse on a regular basis, a commitment to the partner which the two partners accept upon themselves.

Question: What if the partners don’t want this?

Answer: Then we need to help them so they will want it. Sexual intercourse is imperative as long as this is possible. And adult couples can sit and embrace each other. In the life of the family as much physical contact as possible is imperative, since nobody can cancel the laws of nature.

Question: So what is there to do if someone has lost a partner?

Answer: I repeat, this is talking about a mental game and nothing else. With the right help it is possible for a person to acquire new preferences and he would begin to be attracted to blondes or brunettes, thin or heavy. All this is imposed from the outside. So why would it be impossible to force him to be attracted to his wife, to see her in a different light? For if physical contact with her brings renewal, then the connection between them will not end.

Our problem is that every area in life that we don’t renew becomes a routine. This happens in all areas. Only children satisfy us all the time with something new, and it is specifically for this reason that we continue to love them. If they did not grow we would leave everything that has to do with them. But they grow, stimulating us all the time; they awaken the child in every one of us all the time and don’t let us rest.

So in relationships between partners we also lack play; therefore, we lose interest in each other and look at each other like an object or furniture. So what is there to do?  Internally replace the “furniture.”

We must understand human psychology here. Essentially how can we become new for each other?  How is it possible to enchant the partner again?  In many Eastern cultures we see similar examples, the woman dances before the man and together they play music and after that sit and eat delicacies…

Similar methods were accepted in previous generations. But today the new technologies, the backbreaking labor and the increasing pace of life, empty them of content. We are so superficial that it is a wonder that the institution of the family still exists. It is amazing that some people can still maintain a family structure without renewal, without hormonal attractions, without hope for a new source of life, a new pleasure… due to the ego that grew for thousands of years, many already don’t feel any need for family; all that is left is external pressure.

Question: So how do we discover something new in the partner? After all, he is still the same person.

Answer: We already gave a prescription for this; it is necessary to renew relationships between us all the time, to put new life into the love and devotion, to go towards concession and closeness. Then the new portions of ego will push us with new steps towards one another all the time.

If we work above the ego, then there will be renewal all the time. For each one will bow his head and concede his territory, making it possible for the other to enter it. Each one wants his partner to enter, penetrate into him more and more with a connection between them. We want to be like two intertwined natures.

And then we will truly experience permanent renewal. Our ego will change all the time and grow, various disturbances will enter and we will need to work above these disturbances. This will be like a game; it is necessary to find a solution for helping each other all the time. The ego distances us from each other all the time, it returns to its corner, and we again want to come close with force and maintain the connection. We awaken conflicts and desire all the time, flirting between changes of state, rejected again and approaching again. And all these inner changes renew all of the relationships between us including sexual intercourse. Every time that we succeed in approaching each other, we also want carnal coupling as a result of the connection that we have attained.

Sometimes it happens that subconsciously we awaken some familial conflict and after that when we have completed this with each other we go to the bedroom. An additional example is with lions, it is difficult for them to mate in a natural way, so it is as if they fight and after this they complete each other. And so in order to arouse passion we must be “a helpmate against,” the opposing force. Otherwise we don’t succeed. These are the general rules of the game that run everything. It is always up to me to awaken a negative force in order to emphasize the positive cause. You see all of nature is the evil inclination and there is no positive force in it. Therefore so that in spite of all this we will maintain connection, we need to take advantage of specifically stimulating the evil, the “helpmate against.”

Question: Let’s take an average couple with standard problems and many familial disputes. In addition to this, one partner is no longer attracted to the other. And through the integral method they enter into a process where they are approaching each other. How will this flow?

Answer: The partners will overcome the fights and will even utilize them. The shared new work arouses new disputes between them, but now they control their lack of understanding, they understand what is happening to them and that is how everything should be. In this kind of form the process is under their control and they create a “common territory” above their arguments. In that territory they feel their mutual opposition because they belong to two different sexes, and simultaneously they are connected in one structure, in one system. This causes mutual attraction, including physical coupling.

More than this, within the renewed mutual connection, I will receive much greater pleasure.

Both human pleasure and spiritual pleasure will be added to the physical pleasure, and these are weighty additions. With the connection between bodies we suddenly feel something greater, a greater and greater higher pleasure that appears and erupts, a more acute pleasure that seemed to disappear but burns inside like a spark of upper Light that sparks within the coupling between us… for we have reached this with the help of mutual concessions for the sake of the unity on the level of the “Adam – man,” and we only want to add the physical component to it to complete the picture.

Question: So why in regular life don’t arguments create attraction like this?

Answer: Since the couple doesn’t carry out the second half of the work, this doesn’t compensate for the arguments between them, and so the arguments extinguish desire. To say the least, how can I enjoy my partner if I am not attracted to him?

Therefore if a couple doesn’t behave wisely and the arguments between them extinguish the sexual attraction, this arouses greater and greater separation; ultimately this is liable to lead to divorce. And the opposite, the “right reaction” makes it possible to use the “fuel” of the arguments to hold on to mutual passion, including sexual passion. The evil inclination was designed only so that it would be transformed to good. That is how we are built. So come, let’s be wise and use the opportunities that are given to us.

Question: If a quarrel develops between us, how can it be used correctly? How is it possible not to get sucked into it?

Answer: First, it is up to me to stop. More than this, it is up to me to stop demonstratively, to give an example to my partner. I “step on the brakes” demonstratively. Sometimes partners learn this after years of experience and succeed in remaining “silent” at the right moment.

And further it is also necessary to use these conflicts in order to transform them to the good. For they will be aroused all the time until the end of our days, if the vicissitudes of life don’t inure us in an automatic way in regard to mutual agreement, “to walk between the raindrops,” to gloss over the conflicts without hurting each other. In general, I see a wonderful life and world all the time, I live in a fantastic family, I have a wonderful wife and I say this openly. And she responds by commending me for being a most wise and noble man, a fantastic father, and so forth. Maybe everything is upside down, but I have already become “biased” and this is good. This is how we need to work with each other. It makes no difference who we are; everyone sees the pinnacle of beauty, wisdom, justice, and other virtues in his partner. After all, there are no fixed criteria, there is no absolute truth. Everything will happen the way we want. Since we have already decided to see one another as the pinnacle of perfection, this picture will paint itself for us.

It is clear that this is not possible without preparatory courses that will teach us how to play correctly without “cheap lies.” And even after this we must study together with other couples once or twice a week. We must understand that this is talking about a game that requires increase all the time. Therefore we require sensitive facilitators, together with the support of the broader environment as much as possible, and then success is assured.

Essentially, a very profound game is concealed here, we play against the ego of the other and thereby help him rise above it, thanks to love. Even though it seems that I am just flattering, admiring his ego, this is not so. I give him an example that encourages him to do the same for me.

And this is not really a game already; this becomes a system of true relationships between us. Instead of the Hollywood and television standards, we develop our own values; begin to appreciate each other more and then each becomes a source of pleasure for the other. Who else would tell me how fantastic I am? Who else would relate to me as if I am the “whole world”?

And in continuation I will discover that I don’t have such fascinating and innovative relationships as these with anyone else, and relative to these all the rest seem secondary, untrue. Therefore other women don’t interest me; I would surely discover in them a lack of true feeling, not what exists in a family. For here they respect me, appreciate me as a person, as a man, here they cherish me above all.

This is simple psychological influence; the words of the partner penetrate into me and work on internal systems including the nervous system, hormones, and so forth. As a result of this method, we are all assured that a partner will be connected to him and not to anyone else.

Everything depends upon approaching a person, we are concerned for him, praise and exalt him, and he “melts” from all the happiness like a little child who enjoys praise. So how can she leave me after this? Essentially, I become for her the only person in the world who is wholeheartedly devoted to her.

But reciprocity is important here, since one-sided love, on the contrary, breeds contempt. If someone loves me unconditionally, forever, then my relationship towards him is no longer important to me. My ego tells me that “the account is already closed with him” and he is mine forever. This happens in a general way to parents who love their children with absolute love.

Therefore everything depends only on reciprocity. It is clear to both of us that each one is overcoming himself and passes through changes of state all the time. And if we act correctly, then thanks to our mutual concessions, the process continues in a natural manner. We work with each other on mutually beneficial nullification, concede, submit ourselves in order to reach a stronger and stronger connection between us. We begin to appreciate this connection and it draws us more and more deeply. And in the meantime, the ego appropriately changes in us all the time, like a special engine that moves us through familial turbulence that is created intentionally.

And gradually we realize the inner essence, the inner drive, the life force that encompasses us together, that intentionally awakens the inner urge. We discover that everything is derived from that source that awakens us to this “game” with the help of mutual movements forward and back, inside and out, right and left.

And in the end of the matter we feel incessant renewal. Before me is not just a person, rather a new person all the time. I don’t see his corporeal image but the changing essence, his inner image. I suddenly discover that I have discovered the game of my life, and that incessant changes in it bring me to the source of a pleasure that is not found anywhere else.

But here theory is not required, rather practice: workshops, exercises, home lessons in the framework of the family according to the material that we learn, and so forth. And then all of us together will acquire a new feeling and understanding.

Question: How exactly does this happen? Let’s describe it as a change from the point of view of the partner.

Answer: She says to her husband all the time that he is a very unique person, wonderful, profound, talented, and understanding and how much she appreciates him. This is not just a compliment that we lavish on children, rather compliments meant for someone who is already a big boy; indirect, but logical, matter-of-fact. She “feeds” her husband with them so much that he truly begins to identify with the image that she describes.

As a result of this he feels perfect, and now, due to this perfection of his relationship to her he must meet these criteria. Therefore his wife is obliging him to be better, and he can no longer escape this responsibility.

Ultimately the husband receives security and also a push to prove himself. And here his wife adds her “feminine weapon”; she shows him that she wants him, expects him, and enjoys everything that comes from him. Generally, she “swells” his ego, but not grossly, rather gently, and together with this, shows a little bit of desire to come close to him, to contact his bright personality. Without a doubt, this influences the male nature and forces the partner to respond accordingly.

The renewal here is composed of two states:

  • First, compliments from the wife in regard to the husband.
  • Second, her desire to be joined with him.

Therefore, the essential work is specifically hers. And in my opinion it is good that nature made this so, for the woman is more ready for this.

Regarding a man, we must provide him with at least a minimal understanding of what is happening, so that he will not ignore his wife’s efforts and will understand that along with him she is now building a new family, a new connection and couple.

Question: And essentially why are sexual relations so important in a family?

Answer: The first reason is that without them there will be no next generation. This is the essential difference between humans and animals who are satisfied with one encounter that ensures the next generation. This happens with them instinctively, often in particular seasons determined by nature, and after that the couples separate, and the fathers don’t even recognize their offspring.

Humans are found above time, we require a permanent and stable family that forms the framework for unity between us. This is because human offspring, in contrast to animals, require care for a long time. Only after at least fifteen years, does a person “stand on his feet” after receiving many examples from his parents, relatives, friends, and acquaintances. It requires much time and effort to develop a person from an infant, and for this sake we are required to build an environment for him.

This is not like “a day old calf is called a bull.” He is essentially like an adult bull but on a smaller scale. He already stands on his legs and runs after his mother, and what is missing for him is only additional weight, but not internal maturation.

The infant is born helpless. He must acquire life wisdom and other characteristics that are not transferred from the parents. In order to be a man he requires a family, friends, and a multitude of examples, a multitude of impressions from the environment. And therefore the mother cannot grant him all that is required by herself.

Therefore even if we leave aside all the lofty aims, the continuation of the human species requires a large society, including: father and mother, grandfather and grandmother, other people and after that their own children and grandchildren. Each of them conveys his accumulated experiences to others, and this system expands and encompasses all of humanity. This is not the case in our day; a person requires the entire world for normal development.

Question: Must the partners continue to have sexual relations after the birth of the children?

Answer: If there are no sexual relations between them, then there is no family. The lack of the right connection between the parents will become expressed in all the rest, since this is speaking of the origin of life. On the corporeal level, this is the strongest connection that there can be between life forms. With animals it exists as an instinct and with humans it is found above instincts and makes it possible for them to continue with a shared life. Therefore we need mutual agreement in all that touches upon the corporeal connection. The partners need to enjoy each other on all levels, beginning from the beastly level to the level of the “speaking.” One thing can compensate for the other, but in the end of the matter they need to be a single whole so that they can move together.

Even the children feel when a connection is correct or incorrect between the father and the mother. This influences the entire continuity of their lives.

Until recently, the person could not get along without family in order to provide himself with the necessities. But in recent times we have reached a state where people don’t require more of the family, because they can supply themselves with everything until old age and also in case of an unforeseen disaster.

And in spite of it all, according to nature, the person was created as a life form that requires an environment all the time. Since in the present stage he is weaker than the animals, because he cannot get along without clothing, housing, a system of food supply, warmth and cooling, and many other things that specifically the environment provides for him. Therefore isolation and alienation are the flaws which are revealed today. What is required is an institutional marriage course and together with it the old mechanisms. Although the parents live in agreement, the children have their own lives behind closed doors, next to the computer, and their parents are not interested in them, they just leave them alone.

Therefore in our day there are no examples of correct family life and its role in human development. We should not expect anything good if we don’t work with people and explain to them what the right connection is. Only for a family like this will there be the right form and the children will receive examples that will bring them back from virtual Internet relationships to human relationships.
[110752]
From a Talk About Integral Upbringing 8/1/13

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New Meanings Of Old Articles

Dr. Michael LaitmanA good environment is the only means of attaining the goal. When we gather together with an intention like this, with intensity like this, with a desire like this and see how all of our friends throughout the world are following us, are found together with us, and we feel their pressure on us; then certainly this subject is heard and invites a completely new and strong influence.

I have told the story not just once that when I asked Rabash: “What is bothering me? Why don’t I advance?” he immediately answered that I required friends. Frankly, I didn’t completely understand for what, but what was said. I began to search, to give lectures and ultimately brought people to him. From them groups were formed.

And then Rabash began to write articles for them because I didn’t know what to say to them. First he wrote short articles on silver cigarette pack papers. In general that is how it was when we walked and talked in the park and we had no other paper, I would take out the silver paper from a pack of cigarettes and he wrote.

That is how the first articles appeared. And after this I would take sheets of paper folded in half with me. After that we bought a typewriter for him and he began to type texts with one finger. Much later we got an electric typewriter and so it went. Therefore, as of today, we have many articles by Rabash.

These articles set out all of the basics of human interaction in the group as the most important environment for spiritual growth. We learn them again and again methodically and according to our growth we see how in those sentences, in those words, new meaning is discovered all the time.
[113729]
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day Two” 7/13/13, Lesson 4

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The Foundation Of The Spiritual Ladder

Dr. Michael LaitmanThe spiritual growth of the person begins with the fact that he completely forgets about himself and finds himself with his entire mind, intellect, and emotion, with the desire to think only about the group as a unified whole. Moreover, this doesn’t depend on the group itself, as in the example of Rabbi Yossi ben Kisma.

The person “dissolves” in it and begins to see it in its true form. Apparently this is not a group and not his friends with whom he spent so much time together, no. He simply sees a gathering of great Kabbalists, one soul. It could be that they don’t even suspect this; whereas he already discovers this in them because everything depends upon our personal characteristics through which we see the world.

Today it is like this when we look at the physical world; we suppose that it is as we see it. The moment that we change our characteristics, we see instead a completely different society and environment, and those friends of ours will be seen on another level, in a different form.

Therefore, such a person has no claims against the environment; he always gives his friends the benefit of the doubt without criticism: They are absolutely right, they absolutely believe in the goal; and he justifies all that they do. The main thing for him is simply to nullify himself, and to give them all that is possible, all of his energy, all of his vitality. To this degree he enters the group and sees them spiritually. And so certainly according to his efforts the “Surrounding Light” influences him, corrects the quality of a person, helps him, and he begins to see an absolutely different world instead of the former environment to the completion of correction. This is how it all happens.

Therefore this work, and especially the intention towards it, becomes a foundation for the spiritual ladder. And after that descents and ascents take place.

The descents and ascents of normal life do not interest the person—family, work, and whatever else—he needs certainly to arrange all this to the degree that this is required for his physical existence, since this won’t end when his spirituality begins. This remains because all of our ascents begin from this, we again fall to the level of this world, we rise to the next spiritual level, and again fall into the egoistic state of this world. And that is how it is 125 times. This is most complicated and difficult.

Therefore I always emphasize that the most difficult thing is the first level when the person is able to be detached from himself for the first time and enters into a group such that he loses himself, he doesn’t exist. He is not afraid; he is happy about this; he discovers himself in a different form, in the form of the entire group. Within it he discovers the right reciprocal link between all the friends, which is called the “Creator,” that is found between them, and he is mixed with this network of reciprocal linkage. This is called his adherence with the Creator.

To the degree of a person’s spiritual growth, more and more opposition, contradictions, descents, and doubts appear. And again he is elevated above them to states like those through which great souls, the students of Rabbi Shimon, have passed, who were ready to burn each other to ash with the fire of hatred. And this was the first condition of that high level upon which they were found. That is to say, before they could begin with spiritual work, they had a beginning state like this.

Therefore the ascents and descents are compulsory. Thanks to them we rise, changing the ego to bestowal and love. And all the time, the greater our ego becomes, we can attain greater adherence between us above that hatred that is to be discovered on higher levels, and we go forward.
[113717]
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day Two” 7/13/13, Lesson 4

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Choice Of The Right Environment

Dr. Michael LaitmanHow is it possible to help a person choose the right environment? We need to describe it to ourselves correctly and how to bring people to us, for from them the environment that will influence us, in which we will dissolve, is created.

And there is a problem here. On the one hand, we want this environment to be as wide and rich as possible, both quantitatively and qualitatively. On the other hand, it could be that it is made qualitatively large, but at the expense of quantity; and the opposite, it could be quantitatively large at the expense of quality. In this regard, we have these questions and concerns. “Should the group be small but cohesive and strong? Or the opposite, should it be wide and large, but all kinds of subgroups and streams might appear in it without any special unity?”

What should we do in this circumstance? How should we behave? There are no recipes for this. We must do both. It is necessary to constantly vary. And in doing so, we ourselves grow.

It is absolutely necessary to try to bring new friends. Certainly we pass them through some kind of “waiting room,” there must be some kind of absorption here, an international academy for Kabbalah or all kinds of other courses and lessons. There could be evening lessons, even postgraduate lessons and then, if they agree, it is possible to bring them gradually into the group.
[113715]
From the St. Petersburg Convention “Day Two” 7/13/13, Lesson 4

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Females Are More Resilient In Responding To Stress

Dr. Michael LaitmanIn the News (from the University of Buffalo): “The idea that females are more resilient than males in responding to stress is a popular view, and now University at Buffalo researchers have found a scientific explanation. …

“The research shows that in rats exposed to repeated episodes of stress, females respond better than males because of the protective effect of estrogen. …

“By manipulating the amount of estrogen produced in the brain, the UB researchers were able to make the males respond to stress more like females and the females respond more like males.

“When estrogen signaling in the brains of females was blocked, stress exhibited detrimental effects on them,” explains Yan. “When estrogen signaling was activated in males, the detrimental effects of stress were blocked.

“’We still found the protective effect of estrogen in female rats whose ovaries were removed,” says Yan. ‘It suggests that it might be estrogen produced in the brain that protects against the detrimental effects of stress.’ …

“’If we could find compounds similar to estrogen that could be administered without causing hormonal side effects, they could prove to be a very effective treatment for stress-related problems in males,’ she says.”

My Comment: When people near each other internally, they begin to communicate with each other (with a “spiritual transfer”) and they transfer their bodily defenses as well. This is the great power and wonder of the integral system, which absorbs all the positive from each of the participants and provides each and everyone with these combined positive qualities.
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The Destruction Of The Temple: Do Not Despise The Fallen

Dr. Michael LaitmanBaal HaSulam, “Exile and Redemption”: … a far more rapid development than the other nations has come to us. And because the members of the nation developed so, there was always the necessity to go forward and be extremely meticulous with all the Mitzvot of the Torah. And because they would not do it, but wished to include their narrow selfishness, meaning the Lo Lishma, this developed the ruin of the First Temple, since they wished to extol wealth and power above justice, as other nations.

But because the Torah prohibits it, they denied the Torah and the prophecy and adopted the manners of the neighbors so they could enjoy life as much as selfishness demanded of them. And because they did that, the powers of the nation disintegrated: some followed the kings and the selfish officers, and some followed the prophets. And that separation continued until the ruin.

During the period of the Temples, the people of Israel experienced spiritual blossoming, attaining the entire reality of the universe. However, the split did not take long. If one part of the nation wanted to keep the straight path to attainment of the upper force, the other part wanted to use at least a bit of attainment for the needs of material life.

Life was very difficult in those days and people were forced to work hard to earn their keep. Besides that, wars sometimes took lives, sometimes several thousand lives a day.

As a consequence, it was a delicate moment for people to decide every time whether it were possible to use the spiritual forces that were available. It was not easy and that is why we should not falsely accuse all those who went astray. People, then, were not on our stage, and they faced severe internal situations with the hardest problems, which were according to their knowledge and thus aligned and balanced them to make free choice.

They were unable to resist, and in principle, it was not so much their fault as the general program of creation in which the inherent destruction of the Temple, and the four exiles, the final complete redemption, the beginning of which we now are experiencing. The program is predetermined. The end of the action is provided in the original plan and Kabbalists have known about it since ancient times.

However, on the other hand, we do not succumb to fatalism.

On the whole, we need to treat the descriptions of the events that occurred at that time carefully. We should not superficially divide people into right and wrong, good and bad. I repeat, we are talking about people who had spiritual attainment and received the burdening of the heart of the corresponding force.

At the beginning of the process, everything happens at the level of the First Temple, when the Light of Hochma was revealed in the community of the people. It would seem that if the Creator has been revealed, what more? Where will the ungodly come from in this state? Yet, one potential corresponds to the other, and we always balance on the point of the freedom of will.

Baal HaSulam writes about “the kings and the selfish officers.” In those days, an officer was not just a member of the nobility or a high-ranking commander, but a leader managing people with his spirit, that is, spiritual attainment, not to mention the king.

In short, today we do not understand those contradictions, and the most important thing for us is not to despise the “fallen” who seem like villains to us.

Anyway, the overall program leads to the complete deliverance of the entire world, but first it applies to its small part that Abraham led out from Babylon. Therefore, even if the people of Israel had made huge, heroic, incredible efforts, the Temple still would have been destroyed. The signs of this began to appear seventy years before the collapse. It was impossible to stop the process because the program of development must be implemented.

At the same time, we must make every effort in the struggle for bestowal, counteracting the division and lack of unity. One does not negate the other. Everything must be directed at bestowal. Not one little thing can be used for one’s own benefit.

In the days of the Temple, it was not about luxury on the current level of well-being, but about allowing people to slightly ease the hard living conditions, that is, bringing some drop of self-love into the altruistic aspiration, to add purely symbolic and seemingly deserved “dessert” to the minimal “diet.”

However, this drop spoils everything and disturbs the general course. As a result, it no longer leads directly to the Creator, but diverts to the side, even if just a little, but the result is failure.

In the Second Temple, it was even more conspicuous, since the beginning of the separation was publicly displayed by unvirtuous disciples, headed by Tzadok and Bytos.

The calculation should be updated constantly and become more accurate. Otherwise, we lose our way, looking for a foothold in the external environment and presenting it to defeat our opponents who want to keep the old, original way. Thus, Israel was captured by the Roman Empire because some of the people agreed to descend into egoism and take a fraction for themselves. However, there is no part for oneself in altruism, and even the basics we get only in order to live in pure bestowal.

Today, the nation is far from these calculations. Who sincerely speaks of love and bestowal, unity and support, brotherhood and mutual guarantee today? On the contrary, a man is proud of his superiority over others and boasts of his ability to trample on others. The main thing is to be strong. The power of the fist, the power of the official, is what reigns over people today.
[113673]
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/2/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Fifteen Years Is Like A Moment

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Can we assume the desired result of the convention is that we need to gather all the yearnings of our friends with a unique desire, to combine it with my yearning, to the “point in the heart,” to increase the intensity?

Answer: I consider the Moscow group to be a very strong group with great potential and with immense experience. You have all the departments, and you simply have become not just a serious group, but a factory.

I don’t see any particular problems in the Moscow group or in the Kiev group. People come and go. Well, so what? The doors should always be open; don’t place any obstacles, any barriers, or anything! Entry and exit should be open for everyone, except for those who harm.

For all the rest who leave, you cannot ask anything of them because, in another year or two, they could come back as if they left just for five minutes and came back to class. This is because in spirituality, movement happens like this.

With Rabash, people returned after fifteen years. They entered the lesson as if nothing happened. They sat, opened the book, and began to study. I looked at them wondering where they fell from? They looked as if they had gone out for a few minutes and returned. And because this was truly how they felt, that fifteen years had not gone by, rather, it was really, a few minutes. They just came and went.

Therefore, you need to relate to people like this very seriously. Simply understand them, and the same with all of humanity as well. They will gradually discover that there is an internal group that is seriously engaged, like researchers with this science, and they are implementing the practical aspects of integral education. And they are committed  to integral education.

They gradually will even discover that this is the wisdom of Kabbalah! You will see that nothing terrible will happen. Gradually, people will swallow this. Therefore, there is no need to advertise anything, and there is no need to be afraid of this either. A person gets used to everything.

Now, we are moving toward a fall in society and the world that people will be ready for anything. Nothing will astound or surprise them,  and nothing will confuse them. You can see for yourselves how our century compares to the previous one.

Question: After the last convention, friends began to return to the Moscow group that hadn’t been in the group for some time.

Answer: Treat them very well, comfortably; coming and going, that is their business.

You will reach a state where it will be considered an honor to pay Maaser. Every friend will see honor in this if can commit some duty or obligation. You will see, how much each one’s concern for every one will not be a punishment or a burden as there is today, but rather a reward. “I don’t need anything. Give me something to do for the others.” This will be comprehended as reward, as pleasure,  so, in the meantime, have patience.
[113540]
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/21/13, Shamati #59 “About the Rod and the Serpent”

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Daily Kabbalah Lesson – 08.06.13

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