Comment: Iliya writes to us: “I watched your video clip where you say that if you want to help someone, you must not expect any kind attitude, or gift, or gratitude, not even simple “thank you,” nothing. This is what you call real help. But this is impossible. To do something good and not to expect at least a grateful glance or a smiley face for it. Dear Michael Laitman, this is utopia! You have to agree that this just cannot be!”

My Response: I understand you. It is really very difficult, even impossible. However, if at the same time you think that you are bringing a good force, a good state into the world, then your self-esteem, the greatness of your action, will increase.

Question: Does pride also increase at the same time?

Answer: No. Provided you think that you want to make the world better, to bring kindness to the world.

Question: If I do a good deed and think that I will get a thank you, some gift, even a small smiley face, or at least a grateful look, do you think this is not a good deed?

Answer: You are doing business at the same time. One will say thank you, give you a look, a woman will smile, a child too.

Comment: And right away I begin to feel good.

My Response: Yes, of course.

Comment: What you are suggesting is a very tall order.

My Response: No. Anyone in the world can say that our world needs kindness or it will fall apart, and let us arrange so that we just think about how to bring good actions, deeds, and good force into it. Let us do it and be thankful that our egoism allowed us to do it.

Comment: That sounds really nice.

My Response: Yes. Is this a big deal? Can you do this?

Comment: But I am an egoist by nature.

My Response: But you do give pleasure to your egoism: “I will do good for the world.” I can respect myself for this.

Question: Does this require some kind of preliminary education or is a person really capable of it?

Answer: I need to calibrate myself so that I respect myself for this.

Question: How will the world change then?

Answer: The world will change for the better. I will suddenly begin to see a lot of good in the world instead of what I see today, that there is only evil in it.

Question: Is it just because I changed my intention?

Answer: Yes. After all, it all depends on how I look at the world.

Question: That is, I am changing and the world is changing?

Answer: Exactly!

Question: Is it possible?

Answer: It depends on you! So, it is possible.
[281111]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/18/21

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Question: We received the question: “I would like to hear your opinion about helping someone—should we help or not? Why doesn’t the person you helped always thank you? After you raised him, helped spread his wings, he runs away and becomes an enemy.

Or maybe we are wrong to expect gratitude? Maybe there shouldn’t be any? Is it egoistic to expect gratitude? Why do you feel empty after helping a person like there is a black hole inside? Or is it not worth interfering at all and trying to help. Let him pull himself out?”

Answer: I will answer you very simply: if you want to help someone, then you must tune into the fact that you are helping. That is, it goes only from you to him, to this person—a man, a woman, a child, an animal, no matter who—but you help without any expectation to receive something in return no kind attitude, gifts, or gratitude. Nothing! Then you will really be helping.

Comment: This, of course, is like aerobatics—not expecting that they will at least say “thank you.”

My Response: One word: “Thank you” can be worth billions. Imagine if a baby smiles at its mother, how gratifying and what a reward it is for her! So, it depends on whether you are expecting some kind of answer back.

Question: Is it possible to be brought up so as not to expect an answer? Is it possible at all?

Answer: This is real bestowal. Otherwise, you do everything for the sake of gratitude.

Question: And then it is not considered that we did something for someone?

Answer: Yes. Check how much selfless help is in your help, what percentage, and what percentage is precisely because you still hope to receive some kind of answer or gratitude. And then you may not have such unfulfilled expectations.

Question: But she asks: “Why do you feel empty after helping a person as if there is a black hole inside?”

Answer: Precisely because you expect that you will get something for it. And therefore, if there is no counter-filling, you get the feeling of a black abyss. It is just our nature. What are you going to do? Get ready to do something truly altruistic.

Question: What exercises should be done in order to tune in to it?

Answer: Only toward it and not reverse. Only toward another and not back to yourself. You must make sure that you have the energy and desire for it. And you definitely do not have it, this energy and this desire to do it, no matter for whom. If it is important to someone, whoever he is, then this is already your reward.

Comment: That is, if I act toward a great person …

My Response: Great, close, kind, good, beautiful, relatively ugly, relatively dirty, no matter what and how.

Question: Am I already getting a reward?

Answer: Yes, on the spot. This must be very explicitly felt in you. It is very difficult.

Comment: You demand something almost impossible.

My Response: Not almost, it is impossible! But this is the truth. This is a Kabbalistic calculation.

Question: One way or another, will we come to realize that this is how we will live?

Answer: Yes, life will gradually put us before such inner psychology, and we will see who we are, that we are disgusting animals and cannot rise above ourselves even if we really wanted to! And then we will all shout to heaven together to give us strength, understanding, and reason how we can do so that all this does not come back to my filthy egoism!

Question: In fact, when you say all the time in your videos: “You must learn how to do good or convey goodness in your thoughts toward another person,” are you actually talking about this?

Answer: I speak from this point of view.

Question: Step by step, a person will slowly achieve this?

Answer: Yes. It will happen.
[280817]
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 1/14/21

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The science of Kabbalah is revealed to the extent that humanity is disappointed in its development.

Gradually, we will come to a state where humanity will understand that we have a means by which we can push the boundaries of this world, see the second half of creation, and understand where we are going. When we combine these two halves of nature into one, everything will become clear to us. Then we will find happiness, including in marriage.

I do not think that without the knowledge of Kabbalah, a person will be able to build a proper family, raise children. This is absolutely out of the question.

The current school and the current relationship between boys and girls does not give any happiness and fulfillment. Therefore, we cannot do without Kabbalistic knowledge of how to raise children, how to organize children’s groups and education at school, and how to build a family and social relations between people, groups of people, and between nations.

All this we will see only from the part of the world that is hidden from us—the spiritual half. Seeing the second half, we will be able to correctly build the first one.

Let us hope that people will want to see it, take the Kabbalistic method of revealing the world and make their lives happy. At least for the sake of our children.
[280185]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Question: You tweeted: “Do not replace hatred with love, you will destroy love. It is recommended to keep all bad things and learn to cover them with good, with love. To cover means to maintain conformity, to be between them. Then you will stand on two legs and grow both of these qualities in the middle line.”

A reader asks: “It is so hard, but you have to accept it, there is no other way. The only thing that matters for me is where to cast out the accumulated evil?”

Answer: It should not be cast out. Accumulated evil must be covered with good. That is why it exists: so that the good grows all the time. The good cannot grow without reason. Only if evil grows will we raise the good above it by our efforts.

Question: How can someone come to terms with evil?

Answer: We should not come to terms with it! We should look at the world in a reasonable way. It is not easy, it is very hard, but we will otherwise not come to the correct view of the world.

The world consists of two forces: positive and negative. Therefore, we need to interact in the right way: love and hate, good and evil, minus and plus. We must find a balance between them.

Question: And what will enable this transition? It is like a balloon that inflates, inflates, and anger accumulates, accumulates. How will the transition from the state of anger and hatred to the state of love take place?

Answer: When we realize that we cannot destroy anger, hatred, and all our negative properties and impulses, but we can only balance them with positive properties so that they coexist.

Question: A reader asks about a multi-step algorithm. Suppose she is filled with anger or hatred. What should she do step-by-step in order to reach the next state?

Answer: In general, this should be done in the group, in an environment that supports this method, under the guidance of a more experienced person who can really direct you how to do it.

But the main thing is that we do not destroy negative properties. We understand that they should exist in nature as well as positive ones, and only in their proper interaction with each other can we create a convenient, necessary, comfortable and, most importantly, reliable world that will not keep falling from hatred to good and from good to hatred, without knowing what awaits us  the next moment.

Question: So we need to face this state of hatred and anger?

Answer: Face it in the right way, appreciate it correctly, understand that no one is to blame, that it is our nature that develops us in this way, and we must balance it with good forces. And in order to find these good forces in nature, we must make efforts.

For this, we need a support group that will set us an example and support us. And when everyone supports his friend, we will be able to clearly and faithfully set ourselves up for the correct interaction, the correct balance between love and hatred.
[246510]
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 2/3/19

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Question: What should we do in order to precede the right choice of our path by thinking, expecting, and predicting it?

Answer: It is very simple.

On the whole, we need to reach a world in which a wolf dwells with a lamb in peace, and a little child leads them, and so on. The prophecy in the Bible is true.

The goal of our development is to attain a state in which all the parts of creation find their place, the right mutual cooperation with all the other parts, and thus the whole world reaches a state of balance. This is the real state of the world, which is good and right and most stable, that we will need to attain.

In order to yearn for this state, we need to yearn for unity between us. Thus we will impact all the lowest states of the world, by our yearning for unity. We simply need to act correctly. To act correctly means to constantly aim at greater mutual cooperation between as many parts of the system as possible, in order to reach its balance.

Question: How is the major force that operates in this whole process expressed?

Answer: The major force that operates is the general force that manages the whole universe, all of creation, and which sustains it in a balanced state. It is the good force that overcomes the evil force, but by mutual cooperation with us, so that the good force sustains the whole system in a state of balance.

Question: How can we reach the level of this force of providence?

Answer: It is only by our efforts to be together, to be connected in good relations.

Question: Scientists say that philosophers think in terms of the interaction of time and system dynamics. They understand the whole system and how everything is divided in time, and they understand that it is still necessary to add interaction. This is similar to acrobats in a circus who stand on each other’s shoulders in order to attain a certain formation and reach the top. Do we need the same cooperation there is between acrobats, who feel each other, support each other, and thus keep their balance?

Answer: Acrobats pay constant attention to any diversion from balance and behave like a surveillance system in order to keep their balance. Here, however, it is on a higher level. I don’t need to work in a surveillance system and to constantly get rid of the disturbances in order to keep balance. Instead, I need to constantly yearn for greater balance. Only then will I be totally sure that my pyramid will not collapse.

Question: What is the greatest balance?

Answer: An even greater balance is an increase in the level of balance, an increase in its strength. Here, more and more data must be taken into account in order to include it in the equilibrium formula and to balance again and again.
In order for both negative and positive forces to manifest themselves even more, they were divided even more into many parts, and all of them together determined the conditions that the formula should integrate and balance.

Question: What data is there in this formula other than the positive force and the negative force?

Answer: No other data. There is only the balance between them. Everything is very simple.
[246658]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/3/19

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Comment: Scientists are sounding an alarm: an epidemic of perfectionism is spreading all over the world. According to psychologists, perfectionism is a belief that an ideal can be achieved. In pathological form, it is a belief that imperfection has no right to exist.

My Response: Then what remains?

Comment: What remains is to get rid of anything that is redundant and to straighten anything that may be deformed. Different studies have led to the conclusion that all this leads to stress, depression, anxiety, and suicide.

My Response: This means that high demands that cannot be attained actually kill us.

Question: What is this ideal in Kabbalah? What should we aspire for and never concede, never give up?

Answer: The attribute of love and bestowal by which we become like the Creator is ideal.

It can be achieved by a gradual, step-by-step method. But we cannot implement it with our existing senses and attributes inherent in us in our world. We need to acquire additional attributes, additional senses, and then we will be able to implement this idea in us.

The ideal is when we collect all the forces, all of nature’s attributes, together in the most explicit manner, connect them to the one single ideal system, and they complement each other to such an extent that there is nothing redundant that we need to get rid of, and there is nothing missing in it either.

This means that all the elements of nature enter this system, complement each other, and make a system that is one absolute round sphere, absolutely ideal.

Kabbalah actually teaches us how we can connect opposite attributes into what is called the middle line, and then everything begins to work perfectly.

Question: And what is imperfection? Imperfection in man and in society?

Answer: There are many different levels and sublevels of imperfection. The main imperfection is when a person considers himself whole.

Question: Does imperfection have a place in society?

Answer: Imperfection has a place in society. It is thanks to the feeling of imperfection that society can constantly improve itself. We cannot live without it. This is actually what makes humans different from animals—the fact that they constantly feel their imperfection, which forces them to develop all the time.

Question: Perfectionists want to cut it all off and smooth it out?

Answer: There is no need to cut off or throw away anything because nothing in this world was created without a reason.

Everything stems from the ideal picture of the world, which fell apart on purpose, and we must collect the pieces and put them together again like a jigsaw puzzle. So there is not a single redundant piece or particle.

Question: What is a spiritual perfectionist?

Answer: I don’t think that a spiritual perfectionist is a perfectionist. He is simply a person who truly aspires to put all the pieces of creation into one perfect picture. This state is called Adam, that is, a system that totally resembles the Creator.
[246499]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/24/19

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Question: Today, all the rules of human social behavior completely replace each other. A man prefers to stay at home and do housework and a woman realizes herself in a career. Why is this happening?

Answer: Because we are developing incorrectly. The upbringing of the sexes has changed. Boys are raised by women, which is wrong.

Boys should be raised by men, because a child grows up by example. And when he is next to his mother, he revolves around her skirt all the time, and then the teacher in the nursery, in the kindergarten, the teacher in the school is by his side, then everything he learns is from a female, served by a woman.

Therefore, a man prefers to stay at home, raise children; he lacks that base, that attitude to the world, to life, which a real man should have. Today we do not even understand what it is. The whole world is like that—half-female.

I am not saying this as a reproach. It is just our omission. Both sexes must be educated so that they feel their opposite and know how to properly complement each other. And this is not happening.

If a child is brought up by women all the time, then he has no masculine basis, no understanding of his strength, his own peculiarity, his own fulfillment of some female properties, needs, requests. This is a big problem.
[280364]
From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Question: On one hand, the younger generation has a goal because they are developing in a certain global direction. In a study when students were asked to report what the meaning of their chosen profession is, 99% said they wanted to help people. In doing so, they want to create a different world. They immerse themselves in virtual reality and say: “This world is not interesting to me, it is cruel and dirty, and here I have my own world, and I am not alone in it.”

How can they fulfill this goal if they have such an attitude?

Answer: You will not do anything. Everything is specially arranged so that they become disillusioned with our world and understand that it really should be different.

It should be based not on some material objects and earthly relationships, but on deeper, inner sensations and relationships. This is what the current generation needs.

This generation is very special and somehow makes me admire them.

They are ready to be taught the method of spiritual elevation, but the method may not yet be ready for them. It takes some time for them to adapt to the method and the method to adapt to them. Therefore, they need to talk about it, show it, suggest. I hope this connection will happen soon.
[278861]
From KabTV’s “Integral World” 7/13/18

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Question: A writer asks, “Please tell us about suicide among children. How can I explain to a child that it is wrong and that one shouldn’t have such thoughts? At a neighboring school, a girl jumped from a high-rise building. There are two versions of why this occurred: the first is unrequited love, the second is the influence of the Internet, and that she was driven to it. How should we talk to teenagers? How can we prevent this from happening? Or is it the fate of a person?”

Answer: We must understand that a teenager is a small person who must attain the world gradually. Just like when we are born. At first, we are completely inside the mother. Then we “stick our head out.” We begin to comprehend a little, inside our crib, our room, in the apartment, and so on.

Today a child before he even begins to walk and can only reach for something by crawling around a small area is exposed to a huge world around him. He is put in the car and driven around, pushed about in a stroller, parents turn on TV, music, and video, whatever. All sorts of complicated toys are pushed on him.

That is, the boundaries of the world are being opened for him while he’s not ready for it and does not want it! Nature hasn’t prepared him for it yet. So he’s confused and doesn’t know what to do. Therefore, he is under pressure from these new concepts around him that he is not ready for. And that’s the problem.

Thus, many kids can’t handle it. They don’t have enough inner strength. All these external stimuli affect them in such a way that children simply lose control. And when they are nonetheless exposed to some negative movies or something else, they perceive them as real and very easily contemplate suicide.

We should prohibit and restrict them! For the first two years I would not expose a child to outside stimuli. Only the natural things that he can see and hear around him, this is what he should be exposed to. The sounds and images around him, all that is there, let him see it all. But no screens. No computer or TV.

Question: So, are you a big proponent of the careful, gradual exposure of children to this life?

Answer: I want a child to develop a normal psyche to the size of the world in which he exists. Whatever he can reach, this is what he should be comfortable with.

The rest is for later. By then, all sorts of mechanisms are already in place. You can already explain things to him, talk to him, give him certain literature, and show him things. Yet even then, I would start with history, geography, some earthly things. Rather than these terrible children’s programs which are built completely on fiction, and on a terrible, distorted one at that. They show violence and anger. It is just unbelievable!

Children’s programs are the most violent ones. The child looks at that and thinks that this is the reality of our world. So why not jump from the tenth floor? He sees these leaps on TV every day in children’s programs.

That is, we have no idea what a distorted picture of reality we bring into his world. So what do you expect? We need to remove all of it. Completely!

Question: Are you in favor of such tough measures?

Answer: I am for raising a healthy generation.
[279504]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/11/21

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Comment: At the beginning of the year, the first Civil Code in the country’s history has come into force in the People’s Republic of China. Citizens are gaining points. Of course, there is a tracking system installed.

You have a starting point of one thousand points. And you either gain more and go up or lower down. Points are earned for charity, caring for elderly relatives, good relations with neighbors, helping the poor, supporting the government, committing a heroic deed, and so on.

Points are deducted for traffic violations, unsatisfactory parental support, spreading rumors and fake news on the Internet, insincere apologies for crimes committed, participation in sects, protests against the authorities, etc.

Those with high scores will have priority in school admission, fast work promotions, fast advancement in the queue for public housing, etc. Those with low scores will be deprived of the right to hold a position in public offices, will be prone to public censure, etc.

Those who issue these laws claim that this is the only way to make people honest, kind, and open. That is, this is the way they want to educate people!

My Response: Such an educational system is unsuitable for the new world.

Question: In general, what about an educational system based on suppression, on fear?

Answer: It is necessary for the initial development of any society! Just like with man: we restrict him, he must be supervised by his elders who must be responsible for his actions, that is, they must restrict him, punish him, and so on.

Question: Should we build an educational system based on the national character?

Answer: No. If we are talking about the educational system that the world needs today, then we should not take into account any national characteristic, mentality, nothing.

We just need to gain and spread in the world the knowledge that only connection, simple connection among people—when each person understands that his good future lies only in his connection with other people—only such education can bring humanity to order.

Man will find happiness when he begins to draw closer to others, and in this understanding he begins to feel more confident, more comfortable, and he will see the future.

People should simply understand that they are in a single system—not Chinese and not Soviet— but in the system of nature that wants only one thing: that we stay in unity among us.

Question: And then a person himself, on his own, without any points, will treat the elderly well and will not slander?

Answer: Of course, it goes without saying.

Question: Is it possible? After all, a person is what he is.

Answer: Nowadays, because of the pandemic and other problems including pressures that will descend into our world more and more on a bigger scale, it is possible. It is thanks to this that it is possible.

Question: That is, the intensification of suffering makes it possible to explain to a person that we need to be on good terms with each other?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Why don’t we hear then?

Answer: No one has yet explained this to us. We have not yet reached such a state to feel and to understand that we need this. And suffering will be added. A virus will be followed by another virus, problems will be followed by other problems.

Man will not perish. Man will bear everything! Animals will die out, plants will die out, stones will melt, but humans will not.

Question: Man will come out of this state?

Answer: Yes. It will happen when he says: “That is it, I am ready! Even my heart of stone has melted. I am ready to get closer to others!”

I have absolute confidence in this. And so it will be. Hopefully, if not this year, then next one, but still I hope to live to see this.

Question: And then it will start as an epidemic, a good, kind one?

Answer: Yes. Because people will have no other way out anyway. They are already beginning to see darkness: there is fog ahead, then twilight, then night, and then an abyss. And then a gradual, really gradual, awakening will begin.

Question: And what is needed to come out of this?

Answer: It is very simple: just be together so we do not get lost one by one.

Question: And then the abyss recedes?

Answer: Absolutely!
[279558]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/1/21

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