Question: We received the question: “I would like to hear your opinion about helping someone—should we help or not? Why doesn’t the person you helped always thank you? After you raised him, helped spread his wings, he runs away and becomes an enemy.
Or maybe we are wrong to expect gratitude? Maybe there shouldn’t be any? Is it egoistic to expect gratitude? Why do you feel empty after helping a person like there is a black hole inside? Or is it not worth interfering at all and trying to help. Let him pull himself out?”
Answer: I will answer you very simply: if you want to help someone, then you must tune into the fact that you are helping. That is, it goes only from you to him, to this person—a man, a woman, a child, an animal, no matter who—but you help without any expectation to receive something in return no kind attitude, gifts, or gratitude. Nothing! Then you will really be helping.
Comment: This, of course, is like aerobatics—not expecting that they will at least say “thank you.”
My Response: One word: “Thank you” can be worth billions. Imagine if a baby smiles at its mother, how gratifying and what a reward it is for her! So, it depends on whether you are expecting some kind of answer back.
Question: Is it possible to be brought up so as not to expect an answer? Is it possible at all?
Answer: This is real bestowal. Otherwise, you do everything for the sake of gratitude.
Question: And then it is not considered that we did something for someone?
Answer: Yes. Check how much selfless help is in your help, what percentage, and what percentage is precisely because you still hope to receive some kind of answer or gratitude. And then you may not have such unfulfilled expectations.
Question: But she asks: “Why do you feel empty after helping a person as if there is a black hole inside?”
Answer: Precisely because you expect that you will get something for it. And therefore, if there is no counter-filling, you get the feeling of a black abyss. It is just our nature. What are you going to do? Get ready to do something truly altruistic.
Question: What exercises should be done in order to tune in to it?
Answer: Only toward it and not reverse. Only toward another and not back to yourself. You must make sure that you have the energy and desire for it. And you definitely do not have it, this energy and this desire to do it, no matter for whom. If it is important to someone, whoever he is, then this is already your reward.
Comment: That is, if I act toward a great person …
My Response: Great, close, kind, good, beautiful, relatively ugly, relatively dirty, no matter what and how.
Question: Am I already getting a reward?
Answer: Yes, on the spot. This must be very explicitly felt in you. It is very difficult.
Comment: You demand something almost impossible.
My Response: Not almost, it is impossible! But this is the truth. This is a Kabbalistic calculation.
Question: One way or another, will we come to realize that this is how we will live?
Answer: Yes, life will gradually put us before such inner psychology, and we will see who we are, that we are disgusting animals and cannot rise above ourselves even if we really wanted to! And then we will all shout to heaven together to give us strength, understanding, and reason how we can do so that all this does not come back to my filthy egoism!
Question: In fact, when you say all the time in your videos: “You must learn how to do good or convey goodness in your thoughts toward another person,” are you actually talking about this?
Answer: I speak from this point of view.
Question: Step by step, a person will slowly achieve this?
Answer: Yes. It will happen.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 1/14/21