The topic of the lesson is “How do we reach the love of the Creator from the love of friends.” Our main goal and actually the only one is to reach the love of the Creator, which is the attribute of bestowal. All the other goals are only the basis for attaining the one goal and understanding it.
“Loving the attribute of bestowal” means being constantly in this attribute, wanting and yearning for this love. So how is it possible to yearn for the attribute of bestowal and to love it in the same way that we are currently subconsciously and instinctively attracted to receiving, to feel the filling inside us?
I constantly feel that something is missing. I choose the optimal, most comfortable position automatically; out of all the possible conditions, I choose to receive the maximum pleasure in life that minimizes effort. This is how we are programmed, and so our body and every cell in our body constantly work according to this principle. So how can we reach the same situation but in its opposite form, to receive pleasure from the attribute of bestowal and choose automatically how to do our best and bring Him contentment all the time?
This is possible only if I love someone very much. Then I am constantly focused only on giving him as much as possible. Just like a mother who holds her baby and thinks only about how she can give him more, constantly checking what he needs. We can observe how a mother constantly looks at her child, and all her thoughts are focused only on him. This is the attitude we should have with regard to the attribute of bestowal, to general love.
No matter how much I try to convince myself that the people around me are me, parts of my soul who are intentionally depicted to me as foreign “creatures,” I don’t perceive them as something that I need and that belongs to me. The attribute of bestowal is perceived as an unclear, abstract concept. The wisdom of Kabbalah tells us that the attribute of bestowal is formless and is not felt in itself but is revealed only with regard to someone else.
We are the carriers of this attribute! So how can we express it; how can we feel that we enjoy bestowing upon the other and that there is no other pleasure for us?
If I felt pleasure every time I bestowed upon the other, it would be much easier to bestow, then it would be to bestow in order to receive, which means that the ego is disguised, concealed receiving, and nothing would allow me to exit myself. People bestow a great deal in their life in order to receive pleasure. We constantly make a living in order to exchange the fruit of our efforts for pleasure and different fillings and comforts.
But how can I rise above that and bestow in order to bestow so that the actual action will also take place in the other and the pleasure will be felt in others and not in me, not in my ego, not in my desires, as if I have entered the other? Is that possible? No it is impossible! We cannot reach this by our nature, and in order to do so we need the intervention and the cooperation of the upper attribute of bestowal that is external to us and detached from our ego.
The upper force called Creator must help me detach from myself and start feeling the actions, the result and also the filling of the result, which is all external to me. I remain with only my Reshimot (spiritual genes), with the point in the heart. My ego will not be filled anymore and will remain empty. Only the law of the “first restriction” operates on it according to which egoistic desires cannot be filled.
This means that I have to totally give up the desire to feel pleasure inside me and to move on to the feeling of pleasure in others, to turn it to my own. I don’t want to weaken you, but a person is usually scared when he suddenly understands how far this is from our egoistic reality.
From the Convention In Krasnoyarsk Day Three 6/16/13, Lesson 5