We were given a group in order to resemble the Creator and to live only in the pure attribute of bestowal without any movement in my direction and without looking backward at myself. In it we need to do all that, to speak about it, to get to know it, and to feel it. We have to experience this, to try all the possible options, and to find out that we cannot do that and still try. We have to grab each one “by the teeth” and not let go. Although I am indifferent to these faces and I am even repulsed by them, I want to give to them and feel my gladness, my outcome, only in them.
To this is extent they will evoke even greater hatred in me. It’s because I will feel how opposite it is from my ego: Working for someone else so that he will constantly profit, I have to enjoy his successes, his pleasures, his gladness, as I increasingly detach from myself and increasingly feel that I have to feel my gladness and my pleasure in him. Everything is for him!
It’s impossible to attain this alone. I need the examples that the friends set for me which clearly show me that they operate in the same way. We are all in an attack against ourselves, and we see the other as the object and the result of our actions of bestowal!
All our work and our attention focus on one point, on clarifying where and in whom I feel my pleasure: Is it inside me or in someone else? Do I enter the other and try to evoke pleasure in him by my actions and feel how he enjoys this and am happy and pleased about it? I have to constantly guard myself and check whether I am trying to do so.
I constantly do this work, this full inner surveillance, under pressure, and I want to feel the gladness in my friends. My gladness stems from the feeling that they feel good and that I have made them feel so. I am proud that I awaken this pleasure in them and that they are glad as a result of my intentions and my work.
I have the right to be proud since this is the attribute of bestowal. I can be glad since I didn’t do it for myself. This is what I have to do, to live in them. If I focus my work this way and constantly exit myself, enter the friends, transfer myself into them, and feel glad as my egoistic desire remains empty and all the pleasure is passed to the other, it’s called creating an external vessel, Returning Light.
Then I begin to discover the attribute of bestowal in the friends, which I actually create by myself, thus creating the Creator. It says that we create the Creator, we make Him. This means that we discover this common attribute in the efforts we make for one another. Thus, I gradually transfer all my ego from me to others, and when I am totally empty of my ego, I complete a certain measure called Seah (an ancient measure of volume).
When I complete the transfer of all the things I thought of enjoying by giving to them, by bringing them pleasure, and feel my pleasure in them, I enjoy this, as it says: “in Him our heart shall rejoice.” At the end of this process I begin to feel the first spiritual level, in them, in my friends, inside them, adhesion with the attribute of bestowal that was finally created in the measure that I have given. I feel the integral attribute of bestowal that was collected by all my attempts.
There are ten major attempts, although we cannot differentiate them and count them. On the whole they are divided into tens and even hundreds of other efforts, as a result of which I begin to feel the collective attribute of bestowal that I have evoked, when it becomes a single attribute that begins to exist independently: It is called “Creator.”
Of course, this attribute also existed before, we receive the understanding from the Creator that this attribute created us with our ego, so that now you will collect it and work on it and transfer yourself into others, and thus discover your spiritual vessels and leave your ego empty, restricted under the “first restriction.”
The attribute is called “Creator,” and so it says: “from the love of the created being to the love of Creator.” The method is in this whole explanation.
From the Convention In Krasnoyarsk 6/16/13, Lesson 5