Question: There is an anecdote about a plane that crashes, and one passenger survives and gets to an island. Cannibals live there and they grab him and bring him to their leader, the chief. It turns out that the chief is an intelligent, attractive man of European appearance.

The passenger tells him: “You are a person of European education; you are so cultured. Have you not been influenced by civilization?!” The leader answers him: “Of course I have been influenced by it. When I eat you, I will use a plate, a fork, and all sorts of seasonings. Everything will be very smart.”

The question is this. We see that civilization has not stopped wars and has not stopped horrors. In theory, what should be the purpose of civilization?

Answer: We need to change all this from the inside. Only from the inside. That is, civilization is what happens inside, within a person.

Question: Within a person? This is a coup, of course.

Answer: There are no coups; there have not been any yet. But eventually, at some point, we have to come to that.

Comment: Right now with all this horror that is happening, with all these wars, with all this barbarism…

My Response: There is no horror, just people demonstrating who they are by nature. It is egoism, just human egoism. It needs to be corrected. Nothing else! Human egoism is not balanced everywhere, not in any country or in any system of the world.

Therefore, if you give people the freedom to devour each other with impunity, you will see how barbaric they are. That’s it!

Comment: But they will still use a spoon, fork, and plate.

My Response: Yes, it is a habit.

Question: Are you saying that they will use this civilization, but they will eat each other at the same time?

Answer: Yes.

Question: You said that civilization should happen inside a person. Please explain these words “civilization inside a person.” What should happen inside a person?

Answer: Imagine that you are in a stadium, and there are, say, a million people there. Do you have any idea what kind of a sight this is?

Comment: I imagine. Such a mass that is rooting for someone.

My Response: They are rooting for someone, for something, against someone, and so on. Do you think you can change them to be in a pleasant way toward each other?

Question: If they support different teams?

Answer: Of course. Who else goes to the stadium? Only because there is such a struggle there.

Comment: Hardly.

My Response: Hardly? That is, we see that humanity has practically not changed. It is in this form that it manifests itself.

Question: In the form that someone is rooting for someone, and he is already ready to eat the other?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And then what? If we are talking about a change in a person, what then? Should they start rooting for the same team?

Answer: No, I would just ban such events. Completely! All of such competitive actions.

Question: Are you now speaking against any competition?

Answer: Any. Because they make people hate the opposite side. This is the basis of civilization: we are better, we are wiser, we are more correct, we are stronger, and so on.

Question: What, in your opinion, should happen at the stadium in this case?

Answer: Some kind of games, but not one against the other.

Question: Do you include wars, different opinions, politics, and everything here?

Answer: Absolutely everything! People have to learn completely different relations. But they, on the contrary, go somewhere else from here. They are only engaged in competing with each other: who is better, who is bigger, who is stronger, who is more afraid of whom, and so on.

Comment: Then, speaking globally, there is a country with its borders, its anthem, its flag…

My Response: Destroy everything that separates people from each other!

Question: But first of all, within these boundaries, is it necessary for people to undergo some kind of correction?

Answer: Naturally, it should be a campaign for correction.

Question: Is the goal that the borders will fall? A long-range goal. What is today’s task?

Answer: Today’s task is for everyone to go against themselves.

Question: If we manage this task, will it then be possible to open borders?

Answer: Of course! There is no question about it.

Question: Then what does it mean to “go against myself”?

Answer: To go against yourself is to go against your egoism, against hatred of others. This is our task.

Question: What if I feel this hatred? How should I extinguish it? This exists in every person.

Answer: Educate people so that they are closer to each other, so that they love each other, and so that they feel that they depend on each other all the time. Not in a bad way that otherwise he would attack me, but in a good way.

Question: Should humanity have the goal that one way or another we should come to a family of nations?

Answer: This is what we have to come to.

Question: Will there be no people then and no nations then?

Answer: There will be none of this.

Question: Can you tell me what will be?

Answer: There will be one nation on the whole earth.

Comment: I really want to believe in it and live like this.

My Response: Only in this way will we be able to reach some kind of future correct state.

Question: Then what was the mistake of the Utopians who wanted to build such cities?

Answer: They thought to do it purely mechanically, without educating a person, without waiting for him to change. But this, of course, was utopia.

Question: Is the entire problem of utopians and those who dream of unity that they do not come to the fact that there is this evil in us?

Answer: Yes. Today we are getting rid of this last communist utopia.

Question: Do you think that with this current state, with all this madness, something will turn around in a person after all?

Answer: At least it seems that we are in a period of reformation.

Comment: That is, these horrors, these wars, everything that is happening…

My Response: All this should convince us that this is the wrong way, that you will not take anything by force, you will not win anything and you will never justify yourself in any way.

Question: Is this what you call civilization?

Answer: Civilization is when people understand that the most important thing is a good connection between them. That’s all.

Question: Where is the Creator here? Where is the upper force that you talk about all the time?

Answer: When we put good above evil, we build the Creator.
[320053]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/19/23

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Question: You keep saying that a conversation can be in silence, through the hearts. Can you explain what it is to “speak through your heart”?

Answer: It is through feelings. When you want to convey your feelings to a person and it is very difficult to find suitable words for that, then the best thing is to be silent.

This is not uncomfortable for each one. You just keep silent. Thus, gradually, you begin to understand each other without words. This is called a conversation of hearts.

Question: You said that you were often silent with your teacher. Did you not have a feeling that you had to say something?

Answer: No, absolutely none. You just sit and think next to him, and so does he.

Question: Did he not prompt you to say anything? Was there no such thing?

Answer: No, there is no need. There was no need to do anything. These are such feelings, such moments, when everything is clear. An internal contact takes place, the flow of feelings from one to the other and back, without words.
[320978]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/21/23

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Rabbi Ila’a said, ‘The world exists only on account of him who restrains himself in strife (Hulin 89a) (One Who Restrains Himself in Strife, Rabash, Assorted Notes No. 292).

Question: It was written by our sages in the treatise “Hulin” 2,000 years ago: “The world exists only on account of him who restrains himself in strife.”

Can you please explain what kind of world we are talking about?

Answer: The world means our entire world, all of nature, especially human nature. It exists only because people restrain themselves during a surge of egoism and mutual hatred.

Question: Today no one restrains himself by and large. So what is going to happen to the world?

Answer: I must be afraid of the other, and then I will sit quietly.

Question: Is this what the world is today? The world of power and demonstrating your strength. Is this not true?

Answer: Of course. How can the world be truly based on this? This means that we will constantly strengthen ourselves and wait until we can attack the other side. And this is not true.

Question: How do we come to this wisdom that “The world exists only on account of him who restrains himself in strife”? How can we learn to restrain ourselves at the time of a quarrel?

Answer: The world is, in principle, moving a little closer to this based on the fact that there are some opportunities to put pressure on any state through public opinion so that it restrains itself.

But this is still very far from a concrete, correct influence on each other, moreover, a good influence, not under the threat of destruction, but because it simply cannot be otherwise. This is not my opinion; it is other people’s opinion and I submit to it, and so on.

Question: It is said “quarrels.” It is not said that if they came to kill you, then there is no escape, and you must get ahead of him and kill him. This is about a quarrel. What is meant by “a quarrel”?

Answer: It is when murder is not yet resorted to and there is a chance for persuasion, for some kind of negotiation. But this is still not the path to peace. “Be ahead of him and kill him” is not the path to peace.

Question: They say that if one restrains himself at the time of a quarrel, he himself is under a lot of stress. Even psychologists keep saying: “Do not restrain yourself.” And so on. What do you think about it?

Answer: My attitude toward this is negative. If a person does not restrain himself, he will destroy everything. Everyone surely has a stone or a knife at hand. And if you go further, then a pistol, and so on. That is, little good will come out of this.

Question: How do you restrain yourself if you are driven crazy?

Answer: Train yourself so that you are not.

Question: So you see this as just training?

Answer: Yes. And do not disperse. Restrain yourself.

Question: Do not disperse, you mean in the sense of using force? Is it possible to run away for some time?

Answer: You can run away.

Question: In order to get together later?

Answer: Maybe.

Question: Maybe and maybe not, do you think?

Answer: Maybe not.

Question: That is, above everything there still should be to restrain yourself at the time of a quarrel. Is this possible in our world?

Answer: I think that precisely in our world it is more possible than it has been because we do not have any special opportunities to gather an army, ride somewhere, and attack somebody. All this is not so real anymore. I think that nowadays, it is precisely deterrence that is the best weapon.

Question: So by and large, all the organizations that were created after the big wars—the United Nations, the League of Nations—was it all for this purpose?

Answer: Yes.

Question: But it did not bring tangible results. Why?

Answer: Human nature has not changed. They wanted to put up some kind of division, shutters, or something like that. But since nature does not change, they began to speak more beautifully instead, and nothing more.

We must understand that we need to change internally, and not sit somewhere beautifully.

Question: I understand what you are saying. Why do others not understand this?

Answer: It is human nature. What can you do with it?

Question: When will we understand this?

Answer: I do not have an answer to this. But I am sure that we will understand it some day.
[320163]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/19/23

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Question: Once a wise man was asked, “How do you not get tired of always being alone?” And he replied, “I have plenty to do. I have to teach two hawks and two eagles, calm two rabbits, train a snake, motivate a donkey, and tame a lion.”

“But where are they?” he was asked. The wise man answered, “They are within me. Two hawks are my eyes, two eagles are my hands, and the rabbits are my legs. The most difficult is the snake. It is always ready to attack, bite, and sting with poison and that is my tongue. The donkey is stubborn and it is my body. The lion wants to rule. He is proud, arrogant, and thinks that the whole world should revolve around him. I have a lot of work to do.”

Is it right to look at the world like this, or at least approximately like this?

Answer: Approximately, yes. What I see and whom I see, I see it all within myself. And that is all my work.

Question: His work, as this wise man says, is always to tame, stop, hold back his tongue, his lion, and so on. Is it correct to be constantly in such a game?

Answer: In such a state, yes.

Question: In relation to what should this happen?

Answer: In relation to one’s egoism and universal compassion.

Question: So compassion should stand before me? And with that in mind, I go through all this. It turns out that everything around me exists for me—everything. And should every person think like this?

Answer: Of course!

Question: Can you say why it is done this way? After all a person doesn’t have such an understanding.

Answer: It is so that you gather such impressions throughout your life and then find a solution.

Question: I have gathered these impressions: There I am beaten and here I am beaten; there I was offended and here my “I” was leveled to the ground, simply trampled on! And I have to say that it is all within me?

Answer: All of it is you. And all of it is for you to understand the plan.

Question: You said that compassion stands before a person. So is that the plan? Aim for compassion?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And I really have to tame everything within me?

Answer: Yes, calmly tame.

Question: So we have constant work and there can be no rest?

Answer: Yes, that is how it is written.

Question: Even as we age and retire in our world, do we still continue this work?

Answer: Yes, until the last moment.

Question: How can one keep this compassion before oneself and live and work with that in mind?

Answer: By remembering that you stand before the Creator who is absolutely kind, benevolent, wise, and is constantly taking care of you!

Question: The most terrible pain and these are my thoughts? The most terrible humiliation and I say, “This is taking care of me”?

Answer: Yes.
[320694]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/26/23

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Comment: When you write, you are silent.

My Response: You speak, there is an inner conversation going on within you.

Question: Is there power in silence and writing?

Answer: Yes. Writing is a very effective tool. I would say it is necessary to use it too, perhaps less often. Look how much is written! Everyone is scribbling.

Comment: Splashing out their ego.

My Response: Yes, but in reality, of course, it is necessary to restrain ourselves.

Comment: You once said that all sorts of romance novels and so on, were written only 300 to 400 years ago. Before that, there was a constant search for the Creator and only that was written about.

My Response: Yes, they wrote only about connection with the Creator. People were searching for a way to get connected with the Creator. Then all kinds of technology came along, and people started to travel more, to communicate more, and to lose their inner voice.

They began to pay attention to the connections between people, especially connection between men and women. Throughout the history of mankind there were no novels, novellas, or such genres when it would be possible to talk about or write about it. It all started somewhere with Shakespeare and beyond.

In Judaism, there was none of this at all. And there were no songs about love. Who there even thought of singing about love?

Question: What is “Song of Songs” then, which speaks exclusively about love?

Answer: But it is directed only toward the Creator! That has nothing to do with the retelling of some gender-related feelings.

Question: Was the “Song of Songs,” which was written by King Solomon, his declaration of love to the Creator?

Answer: Certainly, there is genuine love from the soul to the source of the soul, the Creator.
[320845]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/21/23

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Question: Communication should be through feelings, internally, through silence. Why talk? What are words for?

Answer: Words are in order to get in touch in conversation, in order to tune in to each other. Musical instruments also are tuned before they are played together. It is the same here. But in principle, if you know a person, then you can come to him, sit down next to him, and be silent.

Question: In general, can we say that a few words can be spoken in order to be silent?

Answer: Yes. If people know each other, even married couples, they are silent. A woman, however, needs to speak, express, and listen a little more. This is how they are built because they are adapted to looking after small children and so on. But men do not. It is good for men to keep quiet.

Question: So do you see that in the future, maybe the distant future, that the transmission of information will be through silence?

Answer: Sure. This will not be like our TV nowadays.

Question: Will it fall silent as a result?

Answer: I think so.

Question: And what do you say about hermits who move away to be silent?

Answer: There are good periods in a person when he does not want to communicate with anyone except with himself and with the Creator. And he has this communication going on.

These are good states, and they are very strong. They are very thoughtful and generate a lot in a person.
[320504]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/21/23

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Igor writes:

Dear Michael Laitman,

I never thought that this would happen to me! I had a misfortune. My closest friend lured my wife away from me! It is a primitive triangle, but I can no longer breathe and live!

You say: “We must accept the situation.” But how? I now understand what hatred is and what despair is when one gives up and tears flow uncontrollably. I am crying for the second time in my life: the first was at my mother’s grave and the second is now. How can I survive this?

Answer: I do not know what to advise a person in this case. I think that you need to think about others and not about yourself. Was she happy with you? Apparently not so much, and that is why she left.

What could happen now? Suppose you force her back or in some fantasy you make her feel bad so that she comes back to you, throws herself at your feet, cries, and all that. I do not think that would reassure you because the very action when she left for someone else is already irreparable.

The best thing, of course, is to change the environment, get married, and start a new family.

Question: That is, let it go? She was a part of me, my “I,” that is why Igor is suffering, and you say: “Let it go”?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: A part of his “I” was cut off and you say…

My Response: This is generally a huge loss and a very strong defeat, of course. Let her go!

Question: Let her go? Do you even say: “Let her be happy there”? And do you think that at that moment he will begin to feel a relief if he comes to this thought?

Answer: I think so. It is very difficult to change your hatred to some kind of love, that you love the person with whom you were maybe even happy, and everything was good. But she did not feel good, and she exchanged you for someone else.

And you make it so that despite the fact that you were happy with her, you raise yourself here and think: “But if she really did not feel good, and now she feels good, can I be happy because she is happy?” Here you have to answer this for yourself.

That is, you must rise above your egoism, above your jealousy, ambition, above all this, and say: “If she is happy, then I am happy.” Otherwise you will not fix it.

Question: You will eat yourself up as a result. Will you feel much worse?

Answer: Yes. And if you find out that she is happy, and you will feel happy because of this, then you resolved this problem.

Comment: This is beautiful! But how hard this is! How difficult!

My Response: It is very hard in feelings.
[318241]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/16/23

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Question: What does the eruption of all our verbal information mean for the world?

Answer: We pollute the entire world.

Question: Why did the upper one need us to talk all the time so that we have TV and everything would be talking all the time? What is it for?

Answer: Have you heard kids screaming and running around at a playground? That is the same kind.

Question: But we use words differently, we humiliate, lower. If we are talking about TV, this is our way. We give such power to speech. What does it produce in the world?

Answer: It produces new corruptions over and over in the world. We cannot escape it unless, we begin to transform ourselves.

Comment: It happens that one can kill with a word, but it is unlikely with silence.

My Response: You can never make it worse with silence. It is better be silent.
[320754]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/21/23

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Comment: Antoine de Saint-Exupery, author of The Little Prince, wrote a prayer that begins

Lord, I’m not asking for miracles and visions, I’m only asking for strength to get through the day. Teach me the art of small steps.

Please share your comments about it.

My Response: It is very good. That is, do not make for yourself any grandiose plans or any big upheavals in life. There is no need! On the contrary, do precisely small steps, but so that you know exactly what they are, and that this is your real skill.

Question: Practically, does a person take a step and then need to check whether this step is the one he was thinking about, and how to finish it?

Answer: Yes, absolutely.

Question: What is next? How does the thought about the next step come?

Answer: According to what he has done, he can already continue to work.

Present me with the sense to be able to judge whether something is important or not.

My Response: This is very important when it seems to a person that there are many kinds of tasks, problems, solutions, and so on, and he makes a certain order in them.

Question: How do I understand whether something is important or not?

Answer: Because it includes everything else, and nothing else can be solved without my solving it first. That is, this is the key to solving everything else.

Question: What is important for a person?

Answer: To understand what he wants from life in general. We can say in another way, to understand what the Creator wants from him.

Save me from the naive belief that everything in life has to go smoothly.

My Response: In fact we cannot plan steep, difficult turns; we still want it all to be smooth.

Question: But he writes, Save me from the naive belief. Why should I be saved from it?

Answer: This will stop a person if he imagines such obstacles on the way.

Question: Are you saying that a person should think that it would be better if everything were smooth?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What if steep turns start?

Answer: If they start, I want to run away.

Question: What should I do if all these ups and downs start?

Answer: We need to increase the importance of these steep turns within ourselves. Then it will be possible to overcome them with pleasure. The steeper the turn, the more significant it is.

Question: Is there a law “the steeper the turn, the steeper the ascent”?

Answer: Yes, of course.

Send me the right person at the right moment, who will have enough courage and love to utter the truth!

My Response: Of course, everyone would like to have such a person. Some do succeed.

Question: So is this combination—enough love to utter the truth—the right combination?

Answer: It helps a lot.

Comment: Usually, during our conversations, you have said: “Why are you spilling your truth on a person? It is your truth. It is like you are spilling your ego out on him. Here, however, you say that this combination, when you say it with love, is a different deal.

My Response: This is a great help!

I know that many problems solve themselves, so please teach me patience.

Comment: This moment is always very difficult for me to understand.

My Response: Although it does not look heroic or correct, the wisest thing, in fact, is to go with the flow.

Question: That is, not to take fortresses by storm, but to go with the flow?

Answer: Yes. It will come to you anyway. Everything is in the hands of the upper, and we need to agree with this.

Question: Is this the most difficult moment, this agreement?

Answer: Yes.

You know how much we need friendship. Make me worthy of this nicest, hardest, riskiest, and most fragile gift of life.

My Response: It is really very difficult. The fact is that being worthy of friendship means giving everyone around such a state.

Comment: In my opinion, this is impossible.

My Response: This is practically impossible and can be interpreted as your weakness. But this is the real strength.

Spare me the fear of missing out on life.

My Response: Yes, a person is afraid of missing out.

Question: How can one not be afraid?

Answer: It can be either absolute relaxation, it is what it is—or it is a pursuit of what should be, but it still will not be.

Question: How can one get rid of this regret that I missed something?

Answer: I think that this passes too. If I missed something, so be it.

Comment: This is what you say, but a person beats himself up all the time, thinking: “I missed out.”

My Response: Well, how long can he do it?

Comment: “I had to do it.” How does he know? Thoughts come, and one cannot escape from them. “This is what I had to do and I did not do it. Why did I not do it?! It was so easy; I could have done it all easily.” And so on. All these thoughts bother a person so much! I know it for myself.

My Response: Dreary.

Question: Dreary, yes. And a person thinks: “Why am I sitting on this thought?!” Can you advise how to cut it off?

Answer: My advice is to relax. Because you do not really determine anything.

Do not give me the things I desire, but the things I need.

My Response: This is right and good. But these are such requests… You will be given what you really need.

Question: Do you proceed from this line?

Answer: I proceed from the direct line of a person’s coexistence with the Creator.

If a person wants to somehow awaken this coexistence between himself and the Creator, to somehow change it for himself and his philosophy—I believe that this is not necessary. By this you tell the Creator that you are not worthy to take from Him what He gives, and nothing else.

Question: Do you mean that our brain and our thinking stand between us and the Creator? If we cut off this part, would we cancel the brains?

Answer: Then we would become animals. This is what makes us humans, but such humans who are always looking for ways out.

Question: What is your advice after all these prayers?

Answer: My advice is to continue searching, rushing, screaming, asking, and advising the Creator on what to do.

Admit to Him that I do not like His governance, then eventually, try to reach a state where I agree with His governance and do not try to do anything, not because my strength has run out, but just because I understand that I cannot think of anything new, and everything that I have experienced and felt was all given to me by the Creator in order to help me completely relax and leave my control of the world. And that’s the end of it.

Comment: I expected you to say, “To agree with the Creator.” But you said: “Go through all the disagreements, go through all your jumps and hops, and come to an agreement.”

Answer: Yes, our entire life is in this.
[316670]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 8/3/23

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Question: Benjamin writes:

As long as I can remember I have been in pain! Pain when I was beaten in the courtyard. Pain for the dog that was poisoned by neighbors. Pain that I cannot take revenge. Pain from divorce. Pain, pain… All of life is pain! Is it really impossible to live without pain? Is it possible not to feel pain?

Answer: No, it is not possible to be without it. Each of us feels pain, and everyone has their own reasons for it and their own memories. We cannot do anything about it until the full correction of the world.

Question: And why is such pain given to a person—until he screams?

Answer: It is so that a person realizes that he must break away from it. Pain helps us. Just like pain during illness. It indicates that something is wrong with you, and that is why you rush to the healers. Otherwise, you would put your hand in the fire and sit calmly while it burns.

Question: In other words, our destiny is to be in pain?

Answer: Yes. Pain is a very good quality, a sense of malfunction in a person.

Question: Are you even suggesting now that it is possible to try to love pain?

Answer: To love, I do not know to what extent to love, but to love the manifestation of pain that pushes you toward healing.

Question: And how can I come to conclusion during the pain that it is a correction, that it is pushing me? Here he talks about inner pain, and about soul pain, and about such pain… He combined everything.

Answer: Any kind of pain.

Question: Are you also combining everything into one pain?

Answer: Absolutely, it does not matter whatsoever. And then you start to feel that this pain is for your own sake.

Question: How can you draw the right conclusions during pain? When you are in pain, you only feel pain.

Answer: All you feel is pain, but you begin to understand that it is meant to remind you that you are not okay, that you have to do something to get rid of it. In other words, pain is designed to get rid of pain. And this is your salvation.

Question: Then the question is: how to actually get rid of it?

Answer: Discover the cause of the pain and distance from it first of all. And then explore and understand that maybe the very cause of pain is for you, for your benefit, and you should be content that it exists.

Question: Can you name the main cause of pain?

Answer: The main cause of pain is that a person does not want to feel pain. If he was to tell himself that I am ready to feel pain, then by moving in that direction, he would cease to feel it. It is not easy, but it is possible.

Question: It means that if you as if approach it and accept it, then it begins to subside?

Answer: Yes. Then you start to feel its opposite side.

Question: This is his second question: “Is it possible not to feel pain or to rise above it?”

Answer: It is possible to rise and it is possible not feel pain if a person wants it. Everything depends on the awareness of evil. If a person senses evil, then he is ready to endure any pain in order to get rid of this evil to the extent of the awareness of it.

Question: When you say “awareness of evil,” it is awareness of what—my nature or…?

Answer: My nature or the pain it evokes in me. I am ready to endure. And so much so that I do not feel pain.

Question: So it is like surgery, where this evil is cut out from me?

Answer: Yes, and it needs to be cut out, I am ready for it! I cannot live with it.

Question: How can one come to this sensation of evil?

Answer: It is coming. When it is necessary, it will come.

Question: But are we being guided to this?

Answer: We are being guided to a realization that pain is salvation. It indicates what is bad in us. And we must agree to the removal of the cause of pain in order to achieve good.
[320213]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/19/23

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