Question: In the Netherlands it is officially allowed to pay for various services through sexual relations. For example, payment for driving lessons through sexual relations is not considered to be prostitution.

This was confirmed by Minister of Transport and the Minister of Justice at a meeting in parliament. They believe that it is the same as that of barter: quid pro quo.

Answer: I like that they have stopped connecting sexual relations with love because sex has no connection to love.

Love is a personal emotion that is derived from connection with another person, from how much good they do in regard to each other, as much as they have gotten used to and connected with each other. It is the same way that a dog loves his master, and the master loves his dog.

In fact, love is a state where you feel the desire of another person, no matter if this is a stranger or a relative, and you want to fulfill this desire. In this, there is no connection to the sex of the person. It could be a person or a beast; it makes no difference. You simply do what this creature wants, whereas in sex you are concerned about fulfilling your own personal desires, sexual desires. Just as we want to eat, to sleep, to walk around, to see something interesting, so we also want to satisfy our sexual desires.

Does a deep relationship exist with each other in this? This is a question.

Much of this, of course comes from human culture that has developed over the past thousand years. It is very much connected to the continuation of the species, a desire for my children, my progeny, as with animals. For example, when a lion meets a lioness that already has small cubs, he kills her cubs and lives with her. He wants to produce his own progeny with her.

This is talking about the satisfaction of normal carnal desires, which the wisdom of Kabbalah calls material desire. It is associated with the continuation of the species. I am used to a particular body and satisfy myself through it, whereas it could be that another body would not give me such states.

Furthermore, there are different kinds of corporeal conditions between people: habit, feelings of pleasure, etc. If something gives me pleasure, then I begin to be concerned about this object, how I could enjoy it in a few hours or days. All of these are purely egoistic thoughts. There is nothing else here.

However, in addition, we constantly are developing egoistically, so sex becomes something abstract for us. Today, there are many other possibilities for sexual satisfaction: movies, pills, and all kinds of mechanisms. Humanity is very resourceful and in order to enjoy itself, it doesn’t stop at anything.

Prostitution is the oldest profession. Among other things, it is legal in the Netherlands. But it is desirable to take a closer look at these issues. So, if it is possible to pay with sexual relations in exchange for anything, then a teacher will demand payment from students for good grades.

Question: According to what the Ministers of Transport and Justice say, in kind payment for driving lessons is not prostitution. However, the opposite offer of sex in exchange for a driving lesson is considered to be an offense. In other words, a lesson in exchange for sex is a legal transaction, and sex for a lesson is illegal commerce with the body.

Answer: Well, somehow they would reach an agreement between them. We are entering into an era where, instead of pocket money, we will have the body and that’s all. Nothing more will be needed. In a few more decades, this will be accepted by everyone quietly and calmly.

Question: You look at the world and it truly is becoming unhinged. Where are we going?

Answer: It is interesting to watch how the world is changing is transforming. Everything is advancing according to the program of creation that must be implemented.

The question is how much a foolish humanity still will need to tolerate to understand that it is necessary to proceed according to the right connection with nature, resembling it, when all of nature is mutually connected with itself.

If the right connection is found between us, then the right connection with nature also will be found on the levels of the still, vegetative, and animate, and we will create a single and shared whole. Within it, we can discover the higher power that created and manages everything. Then, we can see a bright future for us.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 12/20/15

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Comment: The commander of Ayalon prison was under house arrest because of sexual harassment, although it later turned out that it was romantic love.

Answer: We are nearing the correction of the world. Our egoism kept growing throughout history and thus determined our evolution. But in the last 150 years the ego has begun to grow exponentially. In the past people didn’t think about sex so much. In ancient Rome and ancient Greece, for example, different celebrations and distortions were part of the elite’s life.

The life of ordinary people was very hard and they only thought about how to survive. They had several children, but they could never know how many of them would survive. Therefore this issue wasn’t relevant then.

Now, however, the growing ego is revealed in the form of sex since we are quite satisfied with regard to food. Therefore sexual desire is growing sharply, changing its forms beyond the ordinary frameworks of traditional sexual relations.

Different impulses, which humanity never encountered before emerge. We can see school children as young as 10 years old surfing pornographic websites, etc. It seemed that it would pass, but it isn’t, it keeps developing, taking on new forms each time.

The point is that man first develops in his desires for food, sex, family, and then there are the desires for wealth, respect, power, and knowledge.

But as I have already said, people are generally satisfied when it comes to food so it is time now for people to be satisfied sexually, just like they are with regard to food.

In the past sexual impulses were minor and a person could satisfy them in the framework of the family, but today it is erupting everywhere and all the time. After all, people live much longer now and while in the past a couple was married for 30 years and then died, today they live together for 50 years. This means that we are facing a totally different humanity, a different atmosphere, a different connection between people!

Why has the divorce rate increased so much? It is because the mutual relations between people are not meant to be for so long, not to speak of the egoism they have today.

Generally speaking, we should approach all the problems we encounter today in a totally different manner. We have not developed a new systematic perspective of modern relations between men and women, but we see how everything falls apart and that everything is temporary, casual and therefore an affair between a commander and a female prison guard is inevitable. Perhaps it makes no difference that he is a commander and that she is subordinate to him because if such relations do exist, it is very hard to resist them.

A person suddenly begins to feel that it is the main thing in his life. On the one hand we think: “What is going on?! A grown man, a prison commander, in such a post, he has three kids, a family…” She may also be in the same situation, and suddenly this happens. I believe that we cannot remain in outdated frameworks although the law strongly forbids such behavior.

We must understand the current state of man. Many may criticize me, but we cannot live according to the old principles and according to the old rules today. We have to change our approach to life every day, according to our ego.

The current laws were written 50 years ago, and you cannot accept them today like you did in the past. If 50 years ago 90% of the women were virgins when they got married, today hardly 10% of them are and men don’t care what the woman they marry did before they met.

Question: Does this mean that you endorse the legislation of new laws concerning this issue?

Answer: I believe in laws that go along with current circumstances. We have changed and the circumstances have changed, but the laws have remained the same. We put the laws above us instead of changing them to suit the circumstances, the relationships that we encounter in humanity today. Under no circumstances can we use the frameworks of the Middle Ages today!

We will not achieve anything this way but will only destroy people’s lives. They will not go along with the outdated laws anyway! Laws regarding mutual social relations and formal laws of conduct will differ. People will begin to disrespect and hate them. They need to be changed since otherwise society will be ill.

We should have social debates; debates on TV and on the social networks, everywhere. We have to work on this in public institutions and suggest changes in legislations and regulate them so that the laws constantly change according to the changes in society.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 12/16/15

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Question: You once said that if a man and a woman are mutually connected, it is a powerful means to reveal the Creator, and a person who has this field of work is very lucky and doesn’t need much time to fulfill it, but actually only a few minutes a day.

But what exactly should you do during this time? What is the best way to study the wisdom of Kabbalah with one’s spouse?

Answer: It doesn’t really matter. What’s important is the effort a couple makes to feel as one spiritual whole in the face of various interferences that come along all of the time above which they must reach an upper agreement for the sake of their spiritual advancement.

Question: How should a person behave correctly and harmoniously from a spiritual perspective in situations of conflict with loved ones? On the one hand, the ego constantly finds different tricks to make people break up, and it is scary to realize how helpless we are. On the other hand, I truly cherish and value my relationships.

Answer: Try to understand that all of the connections between us go through the Creator. This will fine tune your perspective in all your relationships.
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Comment: At Tel Aviv University conducted a study, which conclude that there are no difference between the structure of the brains of men and women.

Answer: Certainly, because the brain is a machine, a computer.

There are no differences in the structure of the male and female brains. Everything depends on desire, or as they say, on the heart. But the heart is just a motor, a pump. A person’s desire is not found in any physical volume.

There is no initiator of desire within our body, it is found outside of us, and the body is its receiver that absorbs the desire, begins to process it, and reacts to it in a particular way. So men receive particular types of desires and women other types, and in this manner their brains are activated. But in themselves, their brains have no differences.

Desires come from a network that links between us, but we don’t feel it. And all of our actions go there: the mental, physical, moral, ethical, whatever. All of our reactions on all levels go back to this network.

I receive stimuli from this network, react to them, and these reactions go back into the network. The problem is learning how to accept and grasp the signals that reach us emotionally, react to them properly, and transmit them back correctly.

If I do this, I feel this network as a new world, the upper world is revealed to me. The wisdom of Kabbalah speaks precisely about how to react to this system correctly, use it, and manage it. The cybernetics of the future is the wisdom of Kabbalah.
[171965]
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 12/10/15

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Question: What is the meaning of life for a woman who has no family or kids? Could it be that she can find the meaning of life in fulfilling herself in society?

Answer: Today, most women hardly ask themselves that question. Having one child is the norm, and the family institution is becoming weaker because the rate of divorce in developed countries is now over 50%.

Today, we are less capable of sustaining a family and caring for children. At the same time, a woman still has the motherly instinct and the desire to have children, although, according to statistics, there aren’t that many. In addition, if the state ceased to encourage women to have children, there would be even fewer.

I believe that not more than 30% of the population have the desire to have children. The others have them automatically under the influence of social pressure guided by the assumption that, if everyone has kids and I don’t, it is time that I should get married also.

According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, a person must realize himself normally: to be a family man, have children, and care for his family. It is actually from this framework that he should grow spiritually as he learns the method of the right fulfillment of everything that he has been given in this world.

Question: Won’t the wisdom of Kabbalah lead to loneliness?

Answer: On the contrary, according to the wisdom of Kabbalah, a person must get married, have children, work and care for his family, and the Kabbalistic method teaches him how to sustain his family properly and to feel great pleasure and happiness in it for many years.

The wisdom of Kabbalah tells us about how the world develops and what is determined by nature, and how we need to fulfill, use, and manage everything correctly and not distort our life in any way.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson 9/20/15

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Question: If I correct myself to the extent that I can love my husband unconditionally, no matter what he is like, would I still see his shortcomings?

Answer: If I ask the force from above to correct me and help me see my spouse without any conditions, then I see him completely corrected. This is called “Love will cover all crimes.”

Similarly, a mother does not see any flaws in her child since to he is the best, smartest, and most attractive.

Question: So I rise above my displeasure of a certain quality of my husband, ask to correct my attitude to love, and then suddenly it seems good to me?

Answer: The only way to come to love is by correcting yourself. I am not trying to overlook my partner’s flaws and deceive myself, but I rise above them, as I want to love him as he is.

But correction needs to start with love of friends. Until we begin to correct the relationships between all of us, we will not be able to correct the relationships within a family. This is why the institution of the family is falling apart and will continue to deteriorate further. It will come to the point where children will be killing their parents, and parents will be devouring their own children in the most literal sense.

Comment: But people are seeking romantic love, not love of friends.

Answer: This is because people are looking for material, egoistic love, which they will never find. Love exists only above egoism, and one should look for it inside oneself.

There is no need to look for an attractive object to love. The moment I realize what true love is, I should look for a partner who also understands how to achieve it.

And in that case, it does not matter whether or not we like each other’s appearance. I would come to a wise person and tell him about my desire to marry, and he would find me a suitable partner with whom we can build a correct family.

Such spouses want to find love that is above them. This is why they are not concerned about their spouse’s face or character, but only their willingness to build a relationship of mutual love that is above all shortcomings. They understand that each one needs to correct oneself, and in that measure, they will come closer and connect.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 8/30/15

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Question: Are you saying that love between a married couple is not enough and that they need to reach love between the Creator and the creature?

Answer: We don’t find any love in married couples nowadays. Our family relationships are in a state of the mournful day of the ninth of Av.

The destruction is felt in our entire lives, the relationships between parents and children, the boss and the workers, and between cabinet members as well. There is no understanding anywhere.

Question: There are many types of love, love for children, parents, close relatives, and so forth, but why is there a special romance in the love between a man and a woman?

Answer: Love is when I fulfill the desire of another person before my own desire. I need to know and feel what the other wants so that his desire becomes more important than my own.

This is the most general definition of love, but it fits all cases. The bond of marriage is just more encompassing than others since this connection includes mutual obligations, the experience of living together, knowing the partner, children in common, a common home and money, and a feeling of security and a guarantee of support in difficult times. A marriage is unification in this world with all the consequences that follow.

However, in the spiritual world, you are able to know your partner in a new way every moment. It is written that Malchut becomes a virgin again every day, and hence, a new relationship begins as if you weren’t familiar with her.

It seems that we lack this aspect in our regular life and family. If a married couple were on the spiritual level, they could renew their corporeal relationship every day.

Once, three and a half thousand years ago, the nation of Israel lived this way. Let’s hope that soon we will return to that and learn to reveal new qualities in each other every day. Then, it will be a correct, true love, which is renewed at every moment.

Meanwhile, today, in order to enliven our relationship even slightly and feel a connection, we are forced to fight. Upon making up after a fight, the flavor of love, which was dulled, is renewed.

However, it is impossible to get used to spiritual love. It changes all the time. New conditions are revealed constantly, and thus the love is rejuvenated all the time.
[164261]
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/30/15

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Question: To reach prayer, is this the individual work of a person or the work of the entire group?

Answer: Of course this is the shared work of all of us. From where would I get the strength for it? If I don’t identify with the sorrow of the community, I wouldn’t be able to reach prayer.

Otherwise I will scream for myself, but for this won’t receive an answer from above. I must transmit to the Elyon (Higher) the request of others, the Prayer of Many. It is called this because I scream for the many, and not because many people scream.

The “many” are my own desires that are portrayed to me as strangers. I scream because I want to approach them, feel them like I feel myself, reach love of others as myself, and connect.

I don’t scream about it being bad for them and the Creator needs to help them, even though this is also prayer, as it is said, “One who prays for his friend is answered first” (Baba Kama 90b). The main thing is, when I see them as parts of myself and am connected with them, to that degree I am connected with the Creator.

After all, if I ask the Creator to be merciful to them and to solve their problems, then in this way I blame Him that He is abusing them and am thinking He is cruel and am asking Him to do something good for them. But I cannot turn to the Creator that way and I will not have equivalence of form with Him if I don’t decide that He is merciful and gracious.

So a true prayer is not a request that something good should be done for others. How can I ask the Creator to do something good if He is also good that does good? I ask Him to make such a correction in us that all of us will adhere with Him. This is the entire prayer, there is nothing more for which to ask.

If I see something bad, this is because there is a gap,; the forces of Shevira (Breakage) are discovered. And the Shevira is within me, so I see reality as being so bad. So I ask that all of us will be able to adhere to the Creator and give Him pleasure. After all, we are so despicable that we are not prepared to accept Him as He truly is: good that does good.

It means that we don’t ask Him to do good for us because in every case we are found in an optimal situation for us. We ask for correction of our distorted vision and sensation, so we don’t blame the Creator like little children who scream, “Bad Mommy!”

Question: But what is to be done with an evil inclination that constantly proclaims that everything is bad?

Answer: A person must try to rise above his evil inclination and not annihilate it. We need to rise above it and be higher than it because desires of bestowal must be above desires of reception. Yet it is forbidden to extinguish the desires of reception; for then the desires of bestowal cannot exist.

Without the Yetzer HaRa (evil inclination), what are we left with? The Yetzer HaTov (good inclination) cannot exist in us because this is the Creator, the desire to bestow. I cannot be the Yetzer HaTov; the Yetzer HaTov can exist within me only to the degree that it rides on the Yetzer HaRa.

The Yetzer HaRa assures me of detachment from the Creator, independence. And the Yetzer HaTov that controls it gives me the form of the Creator. However, I can only ask for the Yetzer HaTov to dominate over the Yetzer HaRa within me. Only the Upper Light can carry this out; I myself am not able to. This is not at my power.

I can only clarify that this is what is required from me. I get such a possibility as a result of the Shevira, which builds the connection between the desire to receive and the desire to bestow. So I get the ability to clarify, to analyze, to differentiate between one and the other. The Upper Light begins to illuminate these concepts for me and I see what is good and what is bad.
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From the Preparation for the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/6/14

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Question: Is it possible to have such perfect family relations that I feel everything my partner is experiencing as if it is happening in my own body?

Answer: It is possible, and moreover, we need to achieve this mutual feeling not only in the family, but on the scale of all of humanity in order to be one person with one heart.

After all, from the very beginning we belonged to one body, one desire. All matter is desire manifesting itself in different ways at different levels. Originally only one desire was created, but then because of the fall of Adam and the breakage, we lost the ability to feel as one person.

But now we need to return to that, despite the fact that our growing egoism amplified all feelings manyfold. Complete breakage and destruction prevail between us.

But when we unite on the day of love, the 15^th of Av, after all the darkness and mutual hatred that are revealed on the 9^th of Av, then we will reach a magnificent unity that is 620 times more powerful than before.

Question: In a perfect spiritual family, spouses never quarrel with one another?

Answer: Together we try to uncover what kind of disagreement or misunderstanding still remains between us. But all of this happens under the rays of Light that illuminate the darkness, since the benefit of Light is attained only out of darkness.

We uncover the dark areas and understand why this darkness is necessary, for it sharpens the taste of our relationship, like pepper or mustard added to a dish.

Question: What should be the first step toward a perfect marital relationship, since we are presently as remote as the east is from the west?

Answer: Try to perceive each other as if you belong to one whole. Begin to cultivate these inner feelings within yourselves, so that each would start to feel the other as oneself. And then you will be able to feel each other together without words.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/30/15

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Question: What does an earthly family with a corrected spiritual relationship look like?

Answer: It is difficult to say since we have not yet seen such examples in our lives. For now, we are still in a state of breakage, in exile.

Therefore, since the time of Rabbi Akiva, after the destruction of the Temple, we know nothing about such families who would correspond to the corrected spiritual relationship with the Creator.

Moreover, it is written about how Kabbalists of the past suffered because of their wives who often had very difficult personalities and presented many grievances and demands. Kabbalists accepted it as inevitable and a consequence of the breakage and exile in which we exist.

A spiritual couple should feel as if it exists in one body, in common agreement and understanding, completing each other in a fusion of minds, hearts, and mutual intentions. Everything that exists in the body of the other, in their mind and heart, I accept as my own thoughts and feelings.

And these are not just nice words but are truly felt even on the most earthly, physiological level. If something is hurting in your partner, then you feel this pain in your body, even if they do not tell you about it. This is a complete union of bodies in accordance with the union of souls.

We will come to this state as soon as we begin to correct ourselves in relation to our general love for one another.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 7/30/15

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