I have come to love all that is in my partner like a mother who loves her child without calculations, devotedly loving him no matter what he does. For her, he is the most beautiful, the most successful, the best of all; she covers with love all his shortcomings, all his flaws.
First of all, I need to learn to look at my spouse with these eyes, and then I will see his or her beauty, and not a reflection of my egoism. After all, I usually see negative qualities in my spouse that in reality do not belong to him, but are caused by my attitude towards him. That egoism that I project on my companion paints these negative images for me.
I am learning to be objective, independent of my ego. If I cover all the transgressions by love, then due to this, I will get out of myself, outside the limits of my selfish interests, my body, and begin to rise above my egoism. And then I see a new reality, which is not bad at all.
Love has covered all transgressions, and they are gone! But it is not because I closed my eyes to them like a mother who loves her child with blind, instinctive love. The fact that I neutralized my ego allowed me to see the good world. Indeed, the force of the good is beyond me, and the evil force is inside me.
It turns out that reality is divided into two parts. One part is inside me, where the natural, evil, egoistic inclination lives from birth. And outside myself, I see a world full of goodness. Thus, I find myself in a wonderful laboratory. And to the extent that I will try to rise higher and cancel myself relative to my spouse, my ego will be able to show me new inner phenomena revealed in me.
I will see various flaws in my spouse, shortcomings that will give me the opportunity once again to cover all these transgressions with love. So, I will correct myself with greater efforts, and the world will be presented to me more benevolently and corrected.
This will continue until my entire egoism is revealed to me through these inner motives. After tens, hundreds, or even thousands of such cases, when anger and the desire to accuse my partner wakes up in me, it will turn out that I have corrected this entire attitude. As a result, I have also developed the technique for relating to everything that is beyond me.
Once I have made such a correction with respect to my spouse, I see that there is nothing special to add in relation to others. After all, I worked not on other people, all of whom differ from each other, but on my own egoism!
In fact, I worked on myself. And all that I saw before me served as a mirror, reflecting my egoism and allowing me to recognize it. After all, I do not see anything in myself, but only in the mirror. It turns out that such a natural situation as the family is designed for us by nature and enables us to achieve correction.
From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 7/11/12