Question: Why is there a prohibition on incest?

Answer: There is a prohibition on incest because there cannot be a connection between the upper Partzuf and the lower Partzuf in the spiritual body. The two Partzufim that are opposite one another mustn’t ascend to the same level since it leads to the shattering of the vessel.

On the whole this is also reflected in our world according to the principle of root and branch. Basically the Torah doesn’t speak about the corporeal states of the body in which we continue to keep the laws of the spiritual world according to the principle of “in His image and in His likeness,” but in the corporeal world, these are no longer laws but customs.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/6/15

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Question: Must we get married for spiritual advancement?

Answer: No. Today this is no longer necessary.

In our day people have lost the desire to get married, raise a family, invest in a family, and the education of children is a big hassle for them.

Our generation was educated in a completely different way. Everyone had to get married, bring children into the world, educate them and give them a direction in life. These questions were always in front of us. But today, as a rule, parents aren’t very concerned about these things.

Comment: But in principle nature obligates us to live in a family.

Answer: That is how it once was, but for the new generation there is no need for this. In our day marriages are no longer necessary conditions even for those who want to develop spiritually.

My teacher Rav Baruch Shalom Ashlag obligated his students to marry and only someone who married was considered to be his student.

Unfortunately, I cannot demand this from my students because the wisdom of Kabbalah must extend and be disseminated all over the world. If I placed any conditions, we would not succeed in disseminating the wisdom of Kabbalah. The main thing is that people should hear and know at least a little about what the wisdom of Kabbalah is, and that is how the circle of those who are interested will gradually expand.

But someone who truly wants to be seriously involved with the wisdom of Kabbalah on one of the stages of spiritual development will need to think about solving the problem of the family. A person who learns about the nature of the spiritual world feels that he must himself be like nature, and so he is obligated to have a second half.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/6/15

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Question: Is there a spiritual meaning of virginity?

Answer: Yes, because the female part of the spiritual vessel (Kli) is embodied by desire. The desire that begins to work with the Light goes through certain phases of preparation, and it is called the disruption of the hymen.

There are many laws of ritual purity regarding this issue. You can go into Judaism sites and find detailed explanations on this matter: what it is, how to behave, how should a virgin prepare herself, how long she is regarded as impure, and so forth. All of this stems from spiritual laws that should relate to the spiritual roots. Thus, the correct interaction between the Light and the vessel are fulfilled, and in our world, it is coined in expressions and images such as the male and female bodies.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/6/15

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Question: If a woman wants to develop spiritually and her husband prefers to remain on the corporeal level, should she give in and obey her husband and remain on that level? Is it worthwhile to maintain such a family?

Answer: I don’t think that a husband can force his wife to remain on the corporeal level only. She can bring up the kids, take care of the family, and at the same time find time for herself.

Basically, a woman knows how to do this delicately because women are well organized in this world. Men usually are not very pragmatic. They are less organized and not really compatible with life, whereas women firmly stand on two legs and are much more pragmatic.

My advice is not to force your husband to be like you, and he shouldn’t force you to be like him. If you manage to take care of the household and have a good and friendly relationship, you shouldn’t disrupt anything in the family relations.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/6/15

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Question: How can one become a real man or a real woman? What should a man and woman be like in the ideal state?

Answer: An ideal state for a man and a woman is when they are totally compatible with the group, each according to his own circumstances and regardless of gender.

When a person totally melts into the group and takes upon himself all the problems and worries of the group, he thus turns into the bestowing part in the group, which means the male part.

It has nothing to do with physiology, a person’s external appearance, or gender.

Question: So why is everything in our world so complicated?

Answer: Because on one hand, our world was created according to the image of spiritual discernments, and on the other hand, our physical image is fixed. In this world a person cannot change and become a woman the next day if he is a man today, while in spirituality it is possible, and so our earthly wrapping has nothing to do with our spiritual level.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/6/15

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Question: How does the wisdom of Kabbalah relate to men and women? Is it according to gender, according to how they think, or is it something else?

Answer: Both men and women are the feminine receiving part relative to the Upper Light. In the spiritual world, a male (man) is someone who receives in order to bestow. Bestowal is the male part because we turn our female part into a male part and the female part continues to receive. A force that resists the ego, which is called a Masach (screen), is created as a result of spiritual development, and then the resistance is in the form of male or female regardless of one’s gender.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/6/15

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The Torah, Genesis 21:12: “And God said to Abraham, “Be not displeased concerning the lad and concerning your handmaid; whatever Sarah tells you, hearken to her voice, for in Isaac will be called your seed.”

Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) 1:5: “Let your home be wide open, and let the poor be members of your household. And do not engage in excessive conversation with a woman. This is said even regarding one’s own wife—how much more so regarding the wife of another.”

Question: On the one hand, it is written, “…whatever Sarah tells you, hearken to her voice,” and on the other hand, it is written, “do not engage in excessive conversation with a woman.” How can we understand this contradiction?

Answer: A person is made of different desires that are divided into two levels: a desire to receive, which means to draw everything to myself for my own egoistic filling, and a desire to bestow by which I bestow, give, and connect with others. Each of them is also correspondingly called a female desire to receive and a male desire to bestow.

Bestowal refers to a person’s attitude toward others, his effort to bestow, to give, and to connect with everyone into one unique whole, which is the correct schema of the final corrected state of humanity. Naturally there are egoistic desires among the male and female desires when the bestowal is carried out with the intention of getting something back and and gaining something, and there are desires of giving without getting something in return.

Among the female desires, there is a desire to take indiscriminately as much as possible, and there is a more essential desire to receive only in order to exist; then it as if  helps the male desire in bestowal.

Question: What does “…whatever Sarah tells you, hearken to her voice?” mean?

Answer: Sarah represents the desire that operates in order to bestow and helps her husband. For herself the basic necessities are enough, and everything else is for others. Abraham was known for his hospitality, inviting every passerby to his tent. He told his guests about the uniqueness of the Creator and offered that they could be part of a covenant he called Yashar El (Straight to the Creator), that is, straight to the goal of connection and unity among people. This covenant was based on the absolute connection between people in order to become one unique whole, and Sarah helped him in that.

However, at the same time, different sources say, “…do not engage in excessive conversation with a woman,” and it also says, “This is said even regarding one’s own wife—how much more so regarding the wife of another.” It refers to the female desire, to the desire to receive with which one should have as little contact as possible. Take from it only what can help you in the desire to bestow.

Therefore, there is no contradiction, but simply the upgrading of our desires that everyone has: both male and female. Two male desires and two female desires, only a total of four, exist in each of us. The right connection between them is the Creator’s four-letter name.
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From KabTV’s “Conversations with Michael Laitman” 1/19/16

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Question: The term “created being” is genderless (neither male nor female), but is the created being a man or a woman?

Answer: In fact, the created being is a female because the Creator created a desire. The force, the Light, that created this desire is male.

The Creator is the masculine part and the created being—its feminine part. One part cannot operate without the other. As a result, there are male and female. After all, it is impossible for the Light to be without a vessel and for the vessel to be without the Light, or a plus without minus and minus without the plus. Therefore, everything is based on the union of opposites that is the subject of creation.

The created being initially consists of a male part, which then created the female part, which means that the Light created the desire and then the desire changes itself to resemble the Light. The essence of a man and a woman in our world is to attain their spiritual root and to reside there in the connection between them according to spiritual laws. Then they attain a perfect and eternal state of spiritual flight. This is their purpose in this world.

Question: What is the fundamental difference between them?

Answer: The difference between them is absolute. In our world, we don’t feel how opposite they are from one another. In fact there is nothing more opposite and contrasting than a man and a woman in their spiritual root.

It is actually thanks to the difference over which they must connect into one whole. There is nothing in each of them that the other doesn’t complement since spiritually they can only exist in mutual complement.

I am speaking from the perspective of nature, from a Kabbalistic perspective. I’m not interested in feminist views. This isn’t about psychology or philosophy or some respectable or indecent ideas or views. This is totally irrelevant and has nothing to do with the framework we operate in.

I recognize the wisdom of Kabbalah, which tells us about the created being; how it was created, how it developed, how he was divided into two opposite parts, and how the two parts that stem from one root first draw away from one another and then reconnect and complement one another. This are the male and female parts.

We can attribute very little of what the wisdom of Kabbalah tells us to a man and woman in our world because we are very far from resembling the spiritual attributes and objects. This means that we are neither men nor women in the spiritual sense, but something in the middle, ambiguous and unfinished. We have to go through the whole evolutionary process, then we will realize how we can complement one another and become a single perfect whole. This means to become similar to the Creator.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/6/15

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Question: 88% of women claim that boredom and the routine of life sabotage married life and cause the disintegration of the family unit. But now psychologists from Canada determined that it is completely the opposite. It is specifically the routine, boredom, and quiet at home that help to protect and support the family unit.

They believe that the guarantee for familial happiness is not really wild passions with breaking plates and pans flying in the air, but rather sitting quietly at home next to the computer with a cup of tea and a good movie. This is what brings people together more than anything.

Answer: Children depend on the education and the example they get from their parents and see what a family should be. The parents should be aimed at creating the right family atmosphere for the children. Even when they quarrel with each other, they still work together. Of course this passes before the children’s eyes.  Therefore, the parents should cancel themselves for the sake of preserving the family connection.

Since everything comes from our spiritual source, there is great importance to maintaining the nuclear family at all costs, and we need to preserve and develop it. In order that the children will absorb this, it is worthwhile for them to grow up with two parents while maintaining order in the family organization. The current outbreaks of egoism, the technical and technological developments, don’t need to interfere with the strength of familial relationships.

The media present incorrect information and impose upon society incorrect examples of human behavior and create great harm with this. The society must uproot this problem since we are killing the foundation of humanity this way.

Freedom of choice is irrelevant to the development of life and the continuity of the generations. In this, there is no freedom of choice. We need to differentiate between the natural, familial lifestyle and the attitude toward spirituality where freedom is internal and in no manner touches upon the undisputed framework called the family. Otherwise, humanity will cease to exist.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 1/4/16

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Comment: British scientists have conducted sociological research in the field of family relations and noted that since 1990 fewer people marry, preferring to cohabit with one another.

In addition, they also discovered that compared to the last century, when girls usually married in their 20s, women now marry when they reach the age of 30.

Answer: Egoism is constantly growing and naturally adapts to what is most beneficial for it. Therefore, such changes occur.

If in the past women devoted their lives to their families in their 20s, got married and cared for their children and the home and found that satisfying, today most want to see the world and be free of the commitment to one man.

The same goes for most men today. They don’t think about marriage but want to live under their mother’s wing. Most men between the age of 30-35 are satisfied with an interesting job, friends with whom they spend their spare time, and when they want a woman, they go out to a nightclub, meet a woman, and for him that is enough for one night. This way they are much more relaxed and free, so what’s the point of getting married?

Today, the attitude toward this issue is quite different than what it was in previous generations. Egoism today is transforming. A person demands less of the environment and from himself, and thus experiences fewer disappointments. And because he wants a rapid succession of big, fleeting pleasures, he doesn’t need a serious relationship with one partner. Let me enjoy now and what will be tomorrow—it does not matter.

At the same time there is growth in the use of drugs and antidepressants and an increase in divorce rate, etc.

A person doesn’t need anything anymore but his cell phone or captivating movies that blur his senses and cut him off from reality. He can satisfy all his needs with that and is ready to pay for it. In the future perhaps they’ll invent something else and he may be connected to an electrode while he can lie down most of the time feeling good.

When a person realizes the situation he is in, it is a sign that he is developing properly and he begins to acquire the right attitude to life.

Question: Will the same changes take place in our nutrition?

Answer: It will happen in every aspect of our life. Most of the world population will be unemployed and the way to feed everyone will be by substances and drugs that will be injected into people’s bodies that will blur reality, thus bringing the world to its end. The ego establishes a clear and accurate attitude in us regarding what is happening in the world today.

If we want to establish a different attitude, a person will have to undergo a change and to change his worldview and then he will receive different pleasures and impressions from life. But in order to do so, we need a different method for operating the ego.

First a person has to undergo the phase called the recognition of evil, in which his life is reflected to him as a short and temporary pleasure. Because the ego needs an infinite filling, the best way will be to transcend it and to use it in a way that is opposite to human nature: from the direction of one’s own sake to the direction of love and bestowal. Then the ego will gradually be filled eternally and wholly.

We are going to reach this state.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 12/8/15

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