A Melody In Two Voices

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: How is it possible to choose a partner for life without repeating the failed experiences of the past and learning to build a good, stable, and correct connection that will endure?

Answer: First of all, a true connection is not transient. I am specifically interested that it will continue all the time, for with it I can have a very strong connection, “open” myself in breadth and depth so much so that through this connection I will be able to see the world differently. Building my connection with a partner becomes a new “Kli” for comprehending reality, comprehending the world.

In a form like this I open and discover myself, becoming a person with new “Kelim,” vessels. Thanks to the new spaces that I discover in my relationship with my partner, I acquire additional new emotions. Therefore I would not agree to lose her, I need her all the time so that within the reciprocal connection that we are building and developing I will acquire a different, more internal point of view of the world.

We begin to internalize deeper relationships between all parts of Creation, within the connections between people and all of humanity. Our familial connection gets better. We learn how it is up to us to relate to children and the children to us. By way of the relationships between us, we begin to understand what nature is. We learn that there exist forces in nature that are called, “father and mother,” and “children.” All creatures pair off to continue the generation, plus are always connected to minus in the nature of the still, vegetative, animate and in human society.

Polarized relationships like these are created not only between a single man and woman but also between the strata of a particular population, between various groups. I see the entire universe as a system of reciprocal linkage. Within my understanding, within me, I am already beginning to see the entire world in the right way. You see, nature intentionally arouses these forces in me so that in a form like this I will be able to be aware of it.

In the beginning of my connection with a woman, I see a foundation for unlocking the secret of life, the secret of our existence. I will be able to understand and see everything in my life in a deeper, more correct form, and I will never err! Apparently my individual internal success transforms into my social and existential success.

Therefore I relate very seriously to familial relationships and search for a woman who understands me and feels as I do, so we can operate at the same frequency. It’s up to us to get an education in the new society where all the single men and women are gathered and where there will be a multitude of possibilities for being more aware of one another.

During the discussions, the workshops, and the various events, each one can check and find someone who is most appropriate for him and closest to him in outlook, opinions, attitude, and comprehension. We begin to play like a musical chord, as if we are playing together with a single instrument, completing each other all the time.

It’s difficult to convey this with words; this belongs more to an internal emotion. The work is done on two planes. On the one hand we peel from ourselves all of the artificial strata that we received throughout our lives from external influences, all the imaginary values. And on the other hand, the more that we are released from these values, we can begin to play this within that, as with a musical instrument.

We see how we complete each other and emphasize the area formed between us in which I fulfill her and she fulfills me. We blend together so much into one image that it’s impossible to differentiate where I am and where she is, rather everything transforms into a single partnership. The more that we succeed in building and expanding this unity, I can no longer determine who is appropriate for me and who is not.

It’s necessary to understand that we are found in a natural force field in which everything is linked except for humans. But if we continue to connect, then we also begin to be integrated with nature on the level of Adam, the “speaking” level, we reach equivalence of form with nature. Then I begin to examine to what accommodation, to what equivalence of form with nature I reach together with the woman to whom I propose marriage.

We transform into one unit composed of the plus and minus found in balance with nature. We begin to feel that within us some kind of melody begins to play. This is the feeling of our accommodation with the general force of nature, the power of connection, the reciprocal bestowal and love. This force is discovered within us and must be proof that we are appropriate for each other and can continue to be together.

As long as we have not reached a feeling like this, it’s impossible to say anything. Nobody can predict if we are appropriate or not, no sage or adviser. The couple themselves must discover this. We are like David’s harp that hung on the wall and played when the north wind came and strummed on its strings. Therefore it’s also up to us to try to reach that wind and play upon our shared harp.
From KabTV’s A Talk About New Life 6/20/13

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The Secret Of An Integral Family

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