I recommend the workshops, joint discussions, and practical exercises for married couples. Start with the question: “What does, ‘one is included in the other’ mean from the aspect of judgment and from the aspect of mercy?”
Judgment means to act for the good of my ego and mercy means to act for the good of my wife’s ego. My task now is to clarify what the “middle line” means, where I constantly try to maintain a balance between judgment and mercy. That is, I try to bestow to my wife as much as possible but I do this in order to get a good example from her, to receive a good reaction, meaning a good relationship from her side.
If I am concerned only about myself this is called the “left line.” And if I take into account my wife’s ego and am ready to fulfill all she asks of me, this is called the “right line.” In other words, the left line is judgment and the right line is mercy.
The left line or judgment is all of the demands that I present to my partner and want her to fulfill. The right line or mercy is all of my wife’s demands regarding me. Therefore, it is clear that judgment and mercy, the right line and the left line, contradict each other.
And when will they stop fighting each other and be able to receive complete fulfillment? This is possible if one becomes the servant of the other. That is, with a unilateral decision where I get my wife to be my servant and beat her so she will obey me or she does so to me.
But there is an opportunity for both of us to fulfill each other in a perfected form, very many times greater than through the servitude of the partner. For this it is necessary that each one include the ego of the other. It makes sense that we need to work only on the connection between us. And then the more that I can fulfill the ego of my wife and she can fill my ego, the more we fill ourselves.
How not to lose the balance? In order to do this we need to hold ourselves in a shared feeling of connection between us, at a particular point of balance, as if we situate ourselves on the tip of a needle. We require a point of connection like this, a drop of unity, that requires reciprocity so as not to go overboard and out of balance.
Here we require a shared feeling called “coupling” in which both are joined with a single desire for mutual bestowal for the sake of a reciprocal connection. We grasp the ego of each as a means where through its fulfillment we build the connection between us. And then the shared point that connects us is called a “screen.”
Both of us are connected together with a mutual desire to fulfill each other and we try not to lose the balance by feeling ourselves as a single whole all the time. And this feeling is renewed and strengthened in us all the time: New thoughts and feelings are always appearing in us, moving us forward. We never just walk in place.
From KabTV’s “A New Life #46” 8/1/12