Answer: A “shared space” refers to complete mutual understanding within its limits. This area is usually created in the attitude towards children. The mutual concern for them and the importance the couple attributes to them connects the couple. These are seemingly external factors, not ours, but they belong to us. If you don’t have children, it is more difficult to find common connecting points.
We have to look for things we agree on, understanding, something we have in common; where we agree, we understand each other and connect, although in the beginning we had different opinions. But we grow so accustomed to these concessions that we cannot manage without them. Even if we could correct the difference between us, we wouldn’t want to. We feel that all these contrasts are an opportunity for a special union. We already understand that without them there would be no union.
All these “rough spots” help us connect. It is thanks to the fact that I concede and my partner concedes that we feel the connection between us. Without our mutual concessions there will be no connection. If we agreed from the start on everything, we wouldn’t feel the contact. It would be as if we are the same thing. When we concede, we don’t annul our ego, but rather build a connection above it, as it says, “Love will cover all the sins.” Therefore, this strong connection, the inner contrast between us, is kept, but above it, love grows increasingly higher.
The “shared space” is our double common ego, but because of this, it connects us more strongly and allows us to feel the connection between us. We have to constantly take care of this “shared space,” to evoke it and try to expand it with regard to different types of connections from the corporeal to the spiritual.
From a “Talk About a New Life” 7/25/12